Living in today
Everything was so perfect and ready.They all sat inside car. Pankaj was driving car with his whole family. Pankaj was planning to drive their car in national park. He was so happy that finally he managed to take his family to picnic.Every one was so happy when he had found time to take them outside.Now he was going totally wrong way in life.He felt it when his wife Rajani fought with him because he didn't have time for his family.He wanted to spend time with them but his career would not permit it. He couldn't able to do it.He had to get enough money to fulfill wishes of his family which was not that much easy.He turned around.It was perfect day his younger son was sitting in his wife's lap and he was screaming with happiness.He was so pleased by this.When he suddenly felt that something was wrong with that smell.It was smell of those tree which was making him so upset.He knew that he was fine but still he didn't like it.He turned his attention to his elder son Ankur who was sitting near him and watching map. Pankaj was tense now.He was on lonely road and he wanted to reach to national park.But suddenly he felt that heavy feeling from inside.His heart was so tense.He felt that something was wrong with it.He suddenly began to feel that his car was so suffocating.He didn't believe it that this was happening to him.He was feeling tense from every side.His car didn't seem to have enough air for him.He felt so much tense.He started to open front buttons of his shirt.He felt that this would relax him.But before he could stop himself,he suddenly started feeling breathless.It was horrible.He had to stop car.When he stopped it,every one started looking at him with shock.Then before he could say anything.He started making sound as if he couldn't able to breath.Every one in car was scared.Specially Ankur who was sitting near him sensed something was totally wrong with his father.Rajani ran towards him.She started telling him to relax.He was trying but just couldn't stop.He was getting more and more worst.Ankur"What is happening to Dad?"Rajani told him in panic voice"I think your Dad is having Asthma attack.""But I have never saw him like this.""I know...But this is not time to discuss.Take my mobile and call Doctor and ambulance.""Ambulance do you think Dad is serious?"Ankur started crying.After hearing those voices his younger son Amul started crying.Even at his small age he sensed something was wrong.He started screaming. Pankaj was so upset by this that he wanted to stop himself.But then slowly he was turning into worst.He started seeing those incidence when he suffering.He felt that his breathing was going to stop. But then he felt that he was going to die.Then he felt as if someone was strangling his throat.It was worst. Pankaj was upset by this all.He just wanted to forget it.
Slowly Rajani started getting upset.She had accepted nice holidays and instead of that she got this.Now she had to take care of her husband.She knew that her thoughts were wrong.Her husband was nice fellow.But she felt that he was never smart enough to get things easily as she wished on every moment. Rajani was so upset by this.She knew that she should do best for her husband but things were not good for her.First she had to quit her job against her wishes due to pressure of two kids.She had to sit home.Then Pankaj began to bring just limited money for years.Her budget was turning in wrong way.Then finally after lot of screaming by her he started working with more efforts and money was improved.But then he hardly began to show face at home.She had to take care of every thing.Their sons were growing but they were just turning into her sons.He never had time for family.She started arguing regarding it.Finally they managed this holiday until now she never got anything from her husband without arguing.She had to fight with him and push him on every point.But now her holiday was spoiled and both kids were proving useless in crisis.She immediately searched phone and dialed number.Doctor was so shocked to hear this.He said that he would send ambulance but she was sure that it would be late.She just had to stand on lonely road with just kids and with fear that on any moment she could turn widow.It was worst dreams to her.She started counting minutes.But it seemed like centuries before that ambulance came and her husband was taken with them.She was so scared even in that ambulance.She just never understood that why did this happened to her.She was best but still she got every thing worst.She had adjust with it.But inside her heart she wanted to scream on god for giving her all worst things.Finally they reached to hospital and Doctor admitted Pankaj.Then she was relaxed.She started informing others.But she was sure that they would blame her.Her thought turned out to be true.Every one just asked her that why did she took holiday in Jungle where Pankaj could get allergic to any plant. She tried to convince every one that it was Pankaj's idea.But still they just blamed her.Slowly whole family gathered there and Doctor told them that Pankaj was out of danger then after seeing Pankaj from distance.Rajani finally went home with her sons.She was upset by all this.She just went in her bathroom and started crying.She didn't want to her kids to see her in this condition.But suddenly her life seemed to take worst turn.She was upset.She didn't want to remember any of this.She wanted to become small girl again and she wanted to go back to school.But she knew that it was not possible so she cried.Then slowly she took control of her emotions and got ready to go to hospital again.She was going to drop her kids at her mother's place.She knew that it was extra work for her mother.But she was also sure that she would never say no to her and her mother never blamed her for anything. While her in-laws kept pointing finger at her on every problem and every trouble that would always upset kids.She didn't want another tension now so her mother was best option to her.She ran to do it all in time.After all Rajani always loved discipline.
When Rajani went to hospital,she was so upset about Pankaj's health. Rajani was doing every thing.She ran inside hospital.She started running towards Pankaj's room.Then just in few moments Doctor came out. Rajani ran to him. Rajani"How is my husband?""Which patient?"She told him.She started pointing his room. When she told him,he gave every details about her husband.Doctor"I have checked reports.It was Asthma attack."Then he just went away.Rajani had lot of questions but that Doctor was too busy in life.Then she ran towards room. She just felt one thing that taking that tour to forest was mistake.When she went inside room,she noticed that Pankaj was fine now.Rajani"What happened?""That Doctor said that it was Asthma attack.""But you said that you had it only in childhood when you were 10 years old and then you never had it.""You are right.It was so shocking.How did this happen to me?"Pankaj started crying.Rajani was such shocked.She never expected it.She did all inquiry at time of marriage.Pankaj was telling truth.He never had any sort of attack since childhood.Rajani"I just can't believe it.This is happening to me.My whole life was ruined.How can this happen?"Pankaj got more nervous.Suddenly he once again started feeling restless,he just ran to that pump which Doctor had given to him for emergencies. He needed it.He felt so relaxed after using it.Rajani was so shocked to see all this.He never expected such weak person as husband.She wanted a strong person but Pankaj was looking so weak.She was so upset.But still she went near him and started helping him.After all Pankaj was her only hope.Rajani started helping her any way now she loved him so she had to compromised with his problems.She tried hard to smile but she knew that her smile was not natural.It was just artificial thing.Pankaj slowly began to relaxed and went to sleep.Then after some days he got discharged.But once again he started keeping that pump.Rajani was so scared by that experience that she also started insisting on it.Pankaj could see that Ankur was tense due to it.Ankur looked always nervous and scared.Pankaj tried to talk to him.But Ankur said that he was fine.But Pankaj sensed it all.Everything was not fine.Every one in his house was tense due to that incidence.He wanted to act normal.But no one was ready to accept it. Specially Ankur was so nervous.He just kept that looking at Pakanj again and again with scared eyes.Just in few days he started going to his office.But somewhere he felt so scared that he just kept pump in his pocket when he got ready.Each family member asked him about pump just except his younger son who could not talk due to his age.Pankaj was sure when he would grow up.He did same thing after all he was observing it.He hated it but still he kept all those things inside life.He was sick.
When Pankaj returned to office,he looked at his desk.Every time his desk used to be empty was full of files now.His pending work was waiting for him.He hoped that some one at least help him with some files.But they were not interested.They were just too busy in their chatting on phone.That was what his colleagues were doing when he entered.But when he looked at them with anger.They returned back to work.Pankaj started clearing files.He knew that it would take him days before he could complete it.But still he just continued doing his work with hope that he would do it more earlier.That day he worked so hard that when he reached home.He just fall on bed and went to sleep.Rajani had to wake up him for dinner.He just ate it and then once again fall asleep.Rajani was so upset by this.She could see that Pankaj was working too hard.She thought that it would be just for few days.But even after clearing backlogs still files just kept coming to Pankaj's desk and he continued to work. Pankaj was so tired by his work.He just tried his best to do every thing.Then one day his boss called him.He felt that he would get some credit.But when he entered his Boss looked at him with anger and started counting all mistakes.Finally Boss said"Pankaj you have become just useless thing.""But worked so hard.""You called it hard work.I feel it is useless."Then his boss threw file before him and said"You can go."He said it in just way as if it was some abuse or curse. Pankaj was so upset but again he started working.Then as he began to return back from his work once more he started feeling breathless.It was so horrible.He was on road between unknown people.He tried to relax himself but he just couldn't control.He started using pump.Every one was looking at him with concern.Finally he took a auto and reached home.He didn't dare to drive his car.As soon as he reached home,he went to sleep.Then slowly he told everything to Rajani who was more scared after hearing this.Rajani "I think you did whole check up.You can't survive like this with that pump.We need something to change it.""It is my defect.How can I change my destiny?I am so sorry.I have destroyed your life."Rajani was already over first shock.Now she just had love for her husband.Rajani"Will you stop it?We are okay.Just take care of yourself."She went out of her room and then she started crying. Pankaj was so sick.She had to do something.She called their family Doctor who told her that they would do something.He said that he would guide Pankaj about use of pump and train him about using it. Rajani was relaxed a bit.Then Doctor gave them a list of tests.They decided to do it.So from that day Pankaj began to keep that pump with him like life support.He began to feel that it would make him safe
Then Pankaj checked and did many tests.They found his problems and cured them.But then one day Doctor called husband and wife.Doctor"Can I ask you one question Pankaj?""Sure.""Just promise me you will answer it honestly.""Of course I will answer you properly.""Are you in some mental stress when you had that attack?"Pankaj thought about it and then he felt that Doctor was right."Yes.I was stressed.But I was not pretending.""No..No.I am not saying that.This time you are not getting them due to allergy but you are getting them due to mental panic or stress.I feel that you should go to psychiatrist who help you to handle it.""But I am not mad.I.."Suddenly Pankaj felt stress and he started to feel problem in his breathing again.Doctor"Take it easy.I was just suggesting.You can do as you wish."But when they went out,Rajani was fully convinced.Rajani started persuading him again and again.She started telling him that if he wanted to become okay.He must do it.Slowly he began to feel that he must do it so that Rajani would stop irritating him.After all things were getting worst for him.He started feel so uneasy and scared by all this.Finally he went to that Psychiatrist who was quiet friendly with him.Then he chatted with him for some times.He slowly understood his problems in life.He didn't feel that he was visiting a Doctor of mad people.In fact that fellow was quite friendly with him.He felt as if he found some old friend.After some sessions with that Psychiatrist he felt so much relaxed.In fact he learned many ways to relax himself on point of stress.Slowly his asthma attack were so much reduced that once again they became part of their past still for safety sake.He always kept that pump with him.But they are so few that slowly they were no longer scared of them.After this all he even convinced his family to treat them normally like some normal fever etc.and slowly it was achieved.So once again their life became normal which in Pankaj's eyes never was so normal because he was no longer scared of tomorrow.Since he learned to live in today,he began to enjoy every day of today.
The End
Everything was so perfect and ready.They all sat inside car. Pankaj was driving car with his whole family. Pankaj was planning to drive their car in national park. He was so happy that finally he managed to take his family to picnic.Every one was so happy when he had found time to take them outside.Now he was going totally wrong way in life.He felt it when his wife Rajani fought with him because he didn't have time for his family.He wanted to spend time with them but his career would not permit it. He couldn't able to do it.He had to get enough money to fulfill wishes of his family which was not that much easy.He turned around.It was perfect day his younger son was sitting in his wife's lap and he was screaming with happiness.He was so pleased by this.When he suddenly felt that something was wrong with that smell.It was smell of those tree which was making him so upset.He knew that he was fine but still he didn't like it.He turned his attention to his elder son Ankur who was sitting near him and watching map. Pankaj was tense now.He was on lonely road and he wanted to reach to national park.But suddenly he felt that heavy feeling from inside.His heart was so tense.He felt that something was wrong with it.He suddenly began to feel that his car was so suffocating.He didn't believe it that this was happening to him.He was feeling tense from every side.His car didn't seem to have enough air for him.He felt so much tense.He started to open front buttons of his shirt.He felt that this would relax him.But before he could stop himself,he suddenly started feeling breathless.It was horrible.He had to stop car.When he stopped it,every one started looking at him with shock.Then before he could say anything.He started making sound as if he couldn't able to breath.Every one in car was scared.Specially Ankur who was sitting near him sensed something was totally wrong with his father.Rajani ran towards him.She started telling him to relax.He was trying but just couldn't stop.He was getting more and more worst.Ankur"What is happening to Dad?"Rajani told him in panic voice"I think your Dad is having Asthma attack.""But I have never saw him like this.""I know...But this is not time to discuss.Take my mobile and call Doctor and ambulance.""Ambulance do you think Dad is serious?"Ankur started crying.After hearing those voices his younger son Amul started crying.Even at his small age he sensed something was wrong.He started screaming. Pankaj was so upset by this that he wanted to stop himself.But then slowly he was turning into worst.He started seeing those incidence when he suffering.He felt that his breathing was going to stop. But then he felt that he was going to die.Then he felt as if someone was strangling his throat.It was worst. Pankaj was upset by this all.He just wanted to forget it.
Slowly Rajani started getting upset.She had accepted nice holidays and instead of that she got this.Now she had to take care of her husband.She knew that her thoughts were wrong.Her husband was nice fellow.But she felt that he was never smart enough to get things easily as she wished on every moment. Rajani was so upset by this.She knew that she should do best for her husband but things were not good for her.First she had to quit her job against her wishes due to pressure of two kids.She had to sit home.Then Pankaj began to bring just limited money for years.Her budget was turning in wrong way.Then finally after lot of screaming by her he started working with more efforts and money was improved.But then he hardly began to show face at home.She had to take care of every thing.Their sons were growing but they were just turning into her sons.He never had time for family.She started arguing regarding it.Finally they managed this holiday until now she never got anything from her husband without arguing.She had to fight with him and push him on every point.But now her holiday was spoiled and both kids were proving useless in crisis.She immediately searched phone and dialed number.Doctor was so shocked to hear this.He said that he would send ambulance but she was sure that it would be late.She just had to stand on lonely road with just kids and with fear that on any moment she could turn widow.It was worst dreams to her.She started counting minutes.But it seemed like centuries before that ambulance came and her husband was taken with them.She was so scared even in that ambulance.She just never understood that why did this happened to her.She was best but still she got every thing worst.She had adjust with it.But inside her heart she wanted to scream on god for giving her all worst things.Finally they reached to hospital and Doctor admitted Pankaj.Then she was relaxed.She started informing others.But she was sure that they would blame her.Her thought turned out to be true.Every one just asked her that why did she took holiday in Jungle where Pankaj could get allergic to any plant. She tried to convince every one that it was Pankaj's idea.But still they just blamed her.Slowly whole family gathered there and Doctor told them that Pankaj was out of danger then after seeing Pankaj from distance.Rajani finally went home with her sons.She was upset by all this.She just went in her bathroom and started crying.She didn't want to her kids to see her in this condition.But suddenly her life seemed to take worst turn.She was upset.She didn't want to remember any of this.She wanted to become small girl again and she wanted to go back to school.But she knew that it was not possible so she cried.Then slowly she took control of her emotions and got ready to go to hospital again.She was going to drop her kids at her mother's place.She knew that it was extra work for her mother.But she was also sure that she would never say no to her and her mother never blamed her for anything. While her in-laws kept pointing finger at her on every problem and every trouble that would always upset kids.She didn't want another tension now so her mother was best option to her.She ran to do it all in time.After all Rajani always loved discipline.
When Rajani went to hospital,she was so upset about Pankaj's health. Rajani was doing every thing.She ran inside hospital.She started running towards Pankaj's room.Then just in few moments Doctor came out. Rajani ran to him. Rajani"How is my husband?""Which patient?"She told him.She started pointing his room. When she told him,he gave every details about her husband.Doctor"I have checked reports.It was Asthma attack."Then he just went away.Rajani had lot of questions but that Doctor was too busy in life.Then she ran towards room. She just felt one thing that taking that tour to forest was mistake.When she went inside room,she noticed that Pankaj was fine now.Rajani"What happened?""That Doctor said that it was Asthma attack.""But you said that you had it only in childhood when you were 10 years old and then you never had it.""You are right.It was so shocking.How did this happen to me?"Pankaj started crying.Rajani was such shocked.She never expected it.She did all inquiry at time of marriage.Pankaj was telling truth.He never had any sort of attack since childhood.Rajani"I just can't believe it.This is happening to me.My whole life was ruined.How can this happen?"Pankaj got more nervous.Suddenly he once again started feeling restless,he just ran to that pump which Doctor had given to him for emergencies. He needed it.He felt so relaxed after using it.Rajani was so shocked to see all this.He never expected such weak person as husband.She wanted a strong person but Pankaj was looking so weak.She was so upset.But still she went near him and started helping him.After all Pankaj was her only hope.Rajani started helping her any way now she loved him so she had to compromised with his problems.She tried hard to smile but she knew that her smile was not natural.It was just artificial thing.Pankaj slowly began to relaxed and went to sleep.Then after some days he got discharged.But once again he started keeping that pump.Rajani was so scared by that experience that she also started insisting on it.Pankaj could see that Ankur was tense due to it.Ankur looked always nervous and scared.Pankaj tried to talk to him.But Ankur said that he was fine.But Pankaj sensed it all.Everything was not fine.Every one in his house was tense due to that incidence.He wanted to act normal.But no one was ready to accept it. Specially Ankur was so nervous.He just kept that looking at Pakanj again and again with scared eyes.Just in few days he started going to his office.But somewhere he felt so scared that he just kept pump in his pocket when he got ready.Each family member asked him about pump just except his younger son who could not talk due to his age.Pankaj was sure when he would grow up.He did same thing after all he was observing it.He hated it but still he kept all those things inside life.He was sick.
When Pankaj returned to office,he looked at his desk.Every time his desk used to be empty was full of files now.His pending work was waiting for him.He hoped that some one at least help him with some files.But they were not interested.They were just too busy in their chatting on phone.That was what his colleagues were doing when he entered.But when he looked at them with anger.They returned back to work.Pankaj started clearing files.He knew that it would take him days before he could complete it.But still he just continued doing his work with hope that he would do it more earlier.That day he worked so hard that when he reached home.He just fall on bed and went to sleep.Rajani had to wake up him for dinner.He just ate it and then once again fall asleep.Rajani was so upset by this.She could see that Pankaj was working too hard.She thought that it would be just for few days.But even after clearing backlogs still files just kept coming to Pankaj's desk and he continued to work. Pankaj was so tired by his work.He just tried his best to do every thing.Then one day his boss called him.He felt that he would get some credit.But when he entered his Boss looked at him with anger and started counting all mistakes.Finally Boss said"Pankaj you have become just useless thing.""But worked so hard.""You called it hard work.I feel it is useless."Then his boss threw file before him and said"You can go."He said it in just way as if it was some abuse or curse. Pankaj was so upset but again he started working.Then as he began to return back from his work once more he started feeling breathless.It was so horrible.He was on road between unknown people.He tried to relax himself but he just couldn't control.He started using pump.Every one was looking at him with concern.Finally he took a auto and reached home.He didn't dare to drive his car.As soon as he reached home,he went to sleep.Then slowly he told everything to Rajani who was more scared after hearing this.Rajani "I think you did whole check up.You can't survive like this with that pump.We need something to change it.""It is my defect.How can I change my destiny?I am so sorry.I have destroyed your life."Rajani was already over first shock.Now she just had love for her husband.Rajani"Will you stop it?We are okay.Just take care of yourself."She went out of her room and then she started crying. Pankaj was so sick.She had to do something.She called their family Doctor who told her that they would do something.He said that he would guide Pankaj about use of pump and train him about using it. Rajani was relaxed a bit.Then Doctor gave them a list of tests.They decided to do it.So from that day Pankaj began to keep that pump with him like life support.He began to feel that it would make him safe
Then Pankaj checked and did many tests.They found his problems and cured them.But then one day Doctor called husband and wife.Doctor"Can I ask you one question Pankaj?""Sure.""Just promise me you will answer it honestly.""Of course I will answer you properly.""Are you in some mental stress when you had that attack?"Pankaj thought about it and then he felt that Doctor was right."Yes.I was stressed.But I was not pretending.""No..No.I am not saying that.This time you are not getting them due to allergy but you are getting them due to mental panic or stress.I feel that you should go to psychiatrist who help you to handle it.""But I am not mad.I.."Suddenly Pankaj felt stress and he started to feel problem in his breathing again.Doctor"Take it easy.I was just suggesting.You can do as you wish."But when they went out,Rajani was fully convinced.Rajani started persuading him again and again.She started telling him that if he wanted to become okay.He must do it.Slowly he began to feel that he must do it so that Rajani would stop irritating him.After all things were getting worst for him.He started feel so uneasy and scared by all this.Finally he went to that Psychiatrist who was quiet friendly with him.Then he chatted with him for some times.He slowly understood his problems in life.He didn't feel that he was visiting a Doctor of mad people.In fact that fellow was quite friendly with him.He felt as if he found some old friend.After some sessions with that Psychiatrist he felt so much relaxed.In fact he learned many ways to relax himself on point of stress.Slowly his asthma attack were so much reduced that once again they became part of their past still for safety sake.He always kept that pump with him.But they are so few that slowly they were no longer scared of them.After this all he even convinced his family to treat them normally like some normal fever etc.and slowly it was achieved.So once again their life became normal which in Pankaj's eyes never was so normal because he was no longer scared of tomorrow.Since he learned to live in today,he began to enjoy every day of today.
The End
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