Isolation
Sheena wanted to stay away from her home. Her past which she never wanted to face again. She decided that she wanted peace for her mind. She took one job from computer which never needed for her to talk with people. She wanted to stay away and alone. But during that traveling she was surrounded with so many people that she was scared from inside. She just didn't trust herself any more. She wanted to be in her home as soon as it was possible. She was just avoiding every person who came before her. She saw an old man who was standing opposite her. Next to him sat his wife. There were many more people but she just avoided looking at them. She just kept watching her hand. Then suddenly a small boy came near her. That small boy took hold of her dress and stood up. She liked that small boy with innocent smile. That boy was so cute. She looked at him. Then she once again panicked. She knew that she must not trust her eyes so she just looked away. But that small child just kept playing with dress. She just kept looking out of window. She felt that it was happening to her. She sensed that something was wrong. She just didn't talk.Finally after some time mother of that small boy came and took him away. Then she felt sure that she was not imagining. She was so confused in her thoughts. She just rejected affection of small boy since she thought that it was just imagination. That small boy was real. It was happening to her every time. Since she knew that her father was suffering from schizophrenia. She just didn't understand one thing. What was true and what was false. Since psychiatrist told her clearly that she could have schizophrenia. She just didn't want it to create troubles for others. She just moved away from there. She looked at her engagement ring. She was planning to get married to a nice boy when she knew that she was going to had this trouble. Psychiatrist tried to convince her that there were many cases like that. It was possible that she would not get it. But she knew that she was not so lucky. She sensed those signs. She just wanted to stay away from civilized society. She wanted to keep every one away from this troubles. She decided that she would just move to some lonely place. This traveling was taking her toll. She was so nervous whole time. She just felt one scare. What if she had attack like her father. She still remembered that day when he had that attack. He started claiming that they wanted to poison. Suddenly one day her father came from office. Then he sat on table. He was smiling at her talking to her in such nice way. That her mother never sensed that some thing was wrong. He took her in lap and kissed her with affection. He was talking so sweetly. Then he started giving her every item of food. She ate many but then it was enough for her. She hated that vegetable so she decided that she didn't want it. She said no to him and then it all started. He looked at her with full anger and slapped her. She just ran away from her father.
Sheena remembered that day perfectly. On every step Sheena was getting upset but remembering his father's act. She was so shocked at that time. Her father just threw away that vegetable. It looked such a scary which would had impact on her. She never forget that just since she didn't eat that vegetable. On every day she was used to eat all vegetables just to show her father that they were not poison. Sometimes she used to get so tense that she used to vomit. Whenever she used to do that there was used to become big drama in her house. Her father used to take her to doctor and her father never kept quiet until he became sure that she got just acidity. She just couldn't stop remembering that incidence. Every point her father's scream used to make them all jump in that small house. Even her mother used to get scared to talk with him. Sometimes they just used to lock themselves so that her father would not hit them. She still remembered that day when her mother was caught in her father's hand. He beat her in such way that she felt that her mother would die. She screamed so loudly that every one started coming in their house. All people started hitting their door. It took lot of efforts to break it. But finally they broke it. It took them lot of efforts to control her father. Finally they tied him. Doctor was called. One doctor took her mother and another took away her father. Then she had to stay for few days with neighbor. That day was worst. Her neighbor tried to pretend that it was alright. But she sensed that they didn't want her in their house and she felt that it was not their fault. At every point she was trouble for them. She was burden to them. They couldn't even discuss things freely. She sensed that it was her fault. She wanted to return to her home. She was so glad when her mother finally came and her father didn't came. She didn't to see her father again. She wanted to tell this to her mother. But she didn't dare it. She knew that her father would return one day. But for long time her father didn't return and when he finally returned. Her mother was very careful while handling him. But after some days her father managed to create some scene. Then her mother locked Sheena and herself in one room. Until her father's screams didn't stop they never came out. Those were worst day of her life. Sheena was so scared of her father. She just never wanted to remember him. But those days were part of her memory and now this. She just didn't want to remember that thing which was told her by psychiatrist. But it kept coming back in her mind. She was also having same problem like her father. She never thought that it would happen but it was clear to her now that she was also cursed like her father. She was so scared that she would become monster like him. She just decided one thing that she would stay away from all in one isolated spot. Her mother was trying hard to convince her but she didn't listen to her. She just packed her luggage and went away. She still didn't want to remember it all. She just wanted to go in that house which took in one lonely corner to spend her miserable life. She never going to let anyone came near her. She never wanted to become monster like her father. She just wanted to stay away from all. She started looking out of window in hope to turn her mind away from all troubles.
Sheena was so scared even when she had to go out of that train. She was so confused. She had her heavy luggage. She had to carry that baggage but it was so heavy. She needed some one to carry it. But she felt so scared that what if that person whom she was calling would been just shadow not person. It was so wrong. She just couldn't trust herself. Then she suddenly noticed. That one coolie came near her and took her baggage and started telling her to follow him. She ran after him somewhere in her heart. She was scared that he might vanish. But finally he stopped then he took money from her and ran away. She was glad to get over with it. Since even that coolie put that baggage in Taxi. She was sure that taxi was also real. She gave that Taxi Driver her address. Then her Taxi drove to her house. She was so happy when she finally reached to that house. She just wanted to be inside with peace. When she went inside, she just immediately locked the door. So she was alone in that home. Now no one could get hurt by her. She never wanted to be something like her father. She still remembered that day when he died. He was fighting with one of imaginary monster when he fell. Her mother cried but she hardly had any tears in her eyes. She was shocked to hear what neighbors described regarding his death. He was actually screaming with pain and scratching himself. It was so horrible. His whole body was wounded by him only. It was so hard for her to understand such horrible life. She thought that it was better to be death. She looked at her marks on waist. She tried it but it was wrong. She couldn't change her destiny. It just lead to spending more days in hospital and lots of advice by people nothing else. She never understood on every point what was use of them. But she sensed one thing that she could no longer use suicide as a way to escape from troubles. She started moving on every point just to one thought. She couldn't escape from her troubles. Since her destiny decided her life so she had to adjust with her destiny. She knew that she would not die but she didn't want to make Kedar's life miserable so she started avoiding him. But he kept coming and trying to convince her that he would adjust with her. She was love of his life. But she was not ready to accept it. She found just one way to escape it. That way was running away from home. She gave her mother that engagement ring. She promised her mother that she would not finish her miserable life in return her mother had to avoid her address. Her mother agreed to it so she was here finally alone. But this was not making her happy. She was feeling so lonely. She just turned to unpack her baggage. She was doing it with heavy heart. She was totally upset from inside. But still she just kept going ahead. She went in kitchen when she sensed that some one had followed her. She looked around. It was her mother. Sheena "Mom when did you came?" " Just few moments ago. I have came here for some work." " Work?" " Yes." "There is one factory in that corner." Sheena looked out of that window. Her mother was telling right. But when she purchased this house, she made sure that it would not have such thing near it. Still that factory was there. She cursed her agent from heart. Sheena" So you are doing to stay with me." "No..No. I can't I have to go." Then her mother went away. Sheena was so glad that finally her mother went out.She wanted to stay alone. She felt so better to be alone.
That whole day Sheena kept doing one thing after another after all settling in new sort of house was not easy. She started arranging things in that house,It was so hard. Then her door bell rang. She was so upset. When she opened door, she saw that woman was standing outside. That woman "Madam do you want maid? I work here in that farm." She pointed at some field which was so green and fresh. Sheena was so confused. She felt that she might be imagining her or she could be real. She was so happy from mind to get maid. She decided that she would take chance. Sheena " Come inside." Then they fixed payment. That maid went inside. Sheena kept watching that maid. She didn't vanish just did her job and went away. Sheena was relaxed. She got maid. She kept watching television. She managed to paying attention in life. She sat on sofa alone. It was so hard for her. She just kept watching every part of show. It was so interesting on every point. But then at every point she just kept watching that show. She was upset at beginning. But slowly she got used to staying alone at every point. She wanted to enjoy it. But it was not that good. She was sure that slowly she would get used to it. She was so upset by this all. She just never understood that she forgot about her mother. She had to call her mother. She took phone to call her. Sheena "Mom how are you?" "I am fine. How are you? You are staying alone. I still feel that you should not stay alone. May be I should come there?" "No Mom.. Don't do it." Her mother looked confused but when she screamed this way, her mother changed subject then they chatted for long time. It looked so nice. So like that slowly every day seemed to go ahead for Sheena. She was so glad that she was not dreaming any thing, She was perfect. Her mother was calling every day and she used to even come to meet her from time to time. She started learning every thing by each step. She was so confused at beginning while managing things. But now she started to get settle at every point. She had to understand her mind and her plans. Then she could easily manage things. Every thing was fine. Until one day her mother came to meet her, she heard phone ringing. Her mother " Come on. Pick up phone." "But who was calling? No one know this number." Then Sheena took that phone, She was so confused that her mother was on phone. One mother was standing before her and another was calling her. Her mother " Sheena can you hear me?" "Mom I am.." "Just listen to me. I have to meet you." "But I can see you before me." That mother was smiling.She sensed some thing was wrong. She must had imagined her mother. She started screaming on every point she started to understand that she was getting worst on every point. She wanted to relax. But she couldn't. She just kept screaming until every thing did turn dark before her eyes. She started frustrated on every point. She was surrounded by darkness even when she woke up. She must had fallen for long time, Since it was totally dark, it must be night. Then she sensed that screams outside door managed to wake her up. She could hear her mother's voice. She was so upset. It was her dream and imagination again.
Sheena was no longer cared for her promise. She give promise to Kedar that she would never kill herself. But now it was getting to much. She started looking for something with which she could kill herself. Then she remembered oil in kitchen. She could burn herself. But when she went near it, she felt so scared. She ran back to bedsheet and tied it to fan. She decided that she would hang herself. She started to tied those bedsheet to fan. Then she started to stand on stool to hang herself on that fan. She started just one hope. That she would manage to kill herself. But then when she was about to hang herself, she saw that door was broken. Her mother came inside with doctor, they forced her to come down. She was getting out of control. But she didn't care any more. But doctor gave her injection. When she woke up, she was in hospital. Sheena knew that she was near her home again. She was no longer isolated. Sheena "Mom I want to go back. You know that if I stayed here Kedar would come. " her mother "He can't." " I just couldn't get it. " Her mother looked at psychiatrist. She looked so confused on every point. Sheena was sure something was so seriously wrong. Then she wanted to understand what was it. She was so scared. Sheena was sure that she needed to understand it so she just turned to psychiatrist. Sheena "Tell me what happened? " "Kedar commited suicide. He is dead." "But why? I have went away for him and now this.." She was so confused. Psychiatrist "He just can't understand your negative approach. He just felt that he couldn't live without you so he did it." "But I have done all this just for him." "Now try to relax. You are not alone responsible for it. Actually he had also lost his job." "Job?" "Yee. He felt that you left him because of it." "But how did this happen? I never remember he had any trouble with his job." Then suddenly Kedar's parents came in. Kedar's father "He was disturbed since you left him. We are so wrong when we thought that if you stay away from him. It will be good for him. It all turned wrong. He just wanted you." Kedar's mother started crying. It was worst situation. Sheena just felt as if it was all illusion in fact she felt that she wanted it to be illusion. But then she suddenly started crying because she still saw that another mother in corner so it was truth. She just began to cry as loudly as possible. But in her heart she knew one thing her mother needed her. She saw tears of Kedar's parents. She knew that she couldn't let this happen to her mother who suffered whole life due to her father. She decided that she would tolerate all pain for her. She went in her mother's arms and cried. But at same time she sensed that she was not alright. But she knew that her medicine would help her. She knew that she had to survive for her mother. She didn't just vanish from life. She needed to take decision which would show many different positive effect on her life. That was to stay with her mother and with people. She knew that she would do it. Sheena turned to psychiatriast. Sheena " Doctor I want stay here and handle this. Can you help me? " Psychiatrist smiled happily and said " Sure. We can work it out together." She knew that it was not that easy but she decided to do it any way. She never wanted her mother to suffer like Kedar's parents.
The End
Sheena wanted to stay away from her home. Her past which she never wanted to face again. She decided that she wanted peace for her mind. She took one job from computer which never needed for her to talk with people. She wanted to stay away and alone. But during that traveling she was surrounded with so many people that she was scared from inside. She just didn't trust herself any more. She wanted to be in her home as soon as it was possible. She was just avoiding every person who came before her. She saw an old man who was standing opposite her. Next to him sat his wife. There were many more people but she just avoided looking at them. She just kept watching her hand. Then suddenly a small boy came near her. That small boy took hold of her dress and stood up. She liked that small boy with innocent smile. That boy was so cute. She looked at him. Then she once again panicked. She knew that she must not trust her eyes so she just looked away. But that small child just kept playing with dress. She just kept looking out of window. She felt that it was happening to her. She sensed that something was wrong. She just didn't talk.Finally after some time mother of that small boy came and took him away. Then she felt sure that she was not imagining. She was so confused in her thoughts. She just rejected affection of small boy since she thought that it was just imagination. That small boy was real. It was happening to her every time. Since she knew that her father was suffering from schizophrenia. She just didn't understand one thing. What was true and what was false. Since psychiatrist told her clearly that she could have schizophrenia. She just didn't want it to create troubles for others. She just moved away from there. She looked at her engagement ring. She was planning to get married to a nice boy when she knew that she was going to had this trouble. Psychiatrist tried to convince her that there were many cases like that. It was possible that she would not get it. But she knew that she was not so lucky. She sensed those signs. She just wanted to stay away from civilized society. She wanted to keep every one away from this troubles. She decided that she would just move to some lonely place. This traveling was taking her toll. She was so nervous whole time. She just felt one scare. What if she had attack like her father. She still remembered that day when he had that attack. He started claiming that they wanted to poison. Suddenly one day her father came from office. Then he sat on table. He was smiling at her talking to her in such nice way. That her mother never sensed that some thing was wrong. He took her in lap and kissed her with affection. He was talking so sweetly. Then he started giving her every item of food. She ate many but then it was enough for her. She hated that vegetable so she decided that she didn't want it. She said no to him and then it all started. He looked at her with full anger and slapped her. She just ran away from her father.
Sheena remembered that day perfectly. On every step Sheena was getting upset but remembering his father's act. She was so shocked at that time. Her father just threw away that vegetable. It looked such a scary which would had impact on her. She never forget that just since she didn't eat that vegetable. On every day she was used to eat all vegetables just to show her father that they were not poison. Sometimes she used to get so tense that she used to vomit. Whenever she used to do that there was used to become big drama in her house. Her father used to take her to doctor and her father never kept quiet until he became sure that she got just acidity. She just couldn't stop remembering that incidence. Every point her father's scream used to make them all jump in that small house. Even her mother used to get scared to talk with him. Sometimes they just used to lock themselves so that her father would not hit them. She still remembered that day when her mother was caught in her father's hand. He beat her in such way that she felt that her mother would die. She screamed so loudly that every one started coming in their house. All people started hitting their door. It took lot of efforts to break it. But finally they broke it. It took them lot of efforts to control her father. Finally they tied him. Doctor was called. One doctor took her mother and another took away her father. Then she had to stay for few days with neighbor. That day was worst. Her neighbor tried to pretend that it was alright. But she sensed that they didn't want her in their house and she felt that it was not their fault. At every point she was trouble for them. She was burden to them. They couldn't even discuss things freely. She sensed that it was her fault. She wanted to return to her home. She was so glad when her mother finally came and her father didn't came. She didn't to see her father again. She wanted to tell this to her mother. But she didn't dare it. She knew that her father would return one day. But for long time her father didn't return and when he finally returned. Her mother was very careful while handling him. But after some days her father managed to create some scene. Then her mother locked Sheena and herself in one room. Until her father's screams didn't stop they never came out. Those were worst day of her life. Sheena was so scared of her father. She just never wanted to remember him. But those days were part of her memory and now this. She just didn't want to remember that thing which was told her by psychiatrist. But it kept coming back in her mind. She was also having same problem like her father. She never thought that it would happen but it was clear to her now that she was also cursed like her father. She was so scared that she would become monster like him. She just decided one thing that she would stay away from all in one isolated spot. Her mother was trying hard to convince her but she didn't listen to her. She just packed her luggage and went away. She still didn't want to remember it all. She just wanted to go in that house which took in one lonely corner to spend her miserable life. She never going to let anyone came near her. She never wanted to become monster like her father. She just wanted to stay away from all. She started looking out of window in hope to turn her mind away from all troubles.
Sheena was so scared even when she had to go out of that train. She was so confused. She had her heavy luggage. She had to carry that baggage but it was so heavy. She needed some one to carry it. But she felt so scared that what if that person whom she was calling would been just shadow not person. It was so wrong. She just couldn't trust herself. Then she suddenly noticed. That one coolie came near her and took her baggage and started telling her to follow him. She ran after him somewhere in her heart. She was scared that he might vanish. But finally he stopped then he took money from her and ran away. She was glad to get over with it. Since even that coolie put that baggage in Taxi. She was sure that taxi was also real. She gave that Taxi Driver her address. Then her Taxi drove to her house. She was so happy when she finally reached to that house. She just wanted to be inside with peace. When she went inside, she just immediately locked the door. So she was alone in that home. Now no one could get hurt by her. She never wanted to be something like her father. She still remembered that day when he died. He was fighting with one of imaginary monster when he fell. Her mother cried but she hardly had any tears in her eyes. She was shocked to hear what neighbors described regarding his death. He was actually screaming with pain and scratching himself. It was so horrible. His whole body was wounded by him only. It was so hard for her to understand such horrible life. She thought that it was better to be death. She looked at her marks on waist. She tried it but it was wrong. She couldn't change her destiny. It just lead to spending more days in hospital and lots of advice by people nothing else. She never understood on every point what was use of them. But she sensed one thing that she could no longer use suicide as a way to escape from troubles. She started moving on every point just to one thought. She couldn't escape from her troubles. Since her destiny decided her life so she had to adjust with her destiny. She knew that she would not die but she didn't want to make Kedar's life miserable so she started avoiding him. But he kept coming and trying to convince her that he would adjust with her. She was love of his life. But she was not ready to accept it. She found just one way to escape it. That way was running away from home. She gave her mother that engagement ring. She promised her mother that she would not finish her miserable life in return her mother had to avoid her address. Her mother agreed to it so she was here finally alone. But this was not making her happy. She was feeling so lonely. She just turned to unpack her baggage. She was doing it with heavy heart. She was totally upset from inside. But still she just kept going ahead. She went in kitchen when she sensed that some one had followed her. She looked around. It was her mother. Sheena "Mom when did you came?" " Just few moments ago. I have came here for some work." " Work?" " Yes." "There is one factory in that corner." Sheena looked out of that window. Her mother was telling right. But when she purchased this house, she made sure that it would not have such thing near it. Still that factory was there. She cursed her agent from heart. Sheena" So you are doing to stay with me." "No..No. I can't I have to go." Then her mother went away. Sheena was so glad that finally her mother went out.She wanted to stay alone. She felt so better to be alone.
That whole day Sheena kept doing one thing after another after all settling in new sort of house was not easy. She started arranging things in that house,It was so hard. Then her door bell rang. She was so upset. When she opened door, she saw that woman was standing outside. That woman "Madam do you want maid? I work here in that farm." She pointed at some field which was so green and fresh. Sheena was so confused. She felt that she might be imagining her or she could be real. She was so happy from mind to get maid. She decided that she would take chance. Sheena " Come inside." Then they fixed payment. That maid went inside. Sheena kept watching that maid. She didn't vanish just did her job and went away. Sheena was relaxed. She got maid. She kept watching television. She managed to paying attention in life. She sat on sofa alone. It was so hard for her. She just kept watching every part of show. It was so interesting on every point. But then at every point she just kept watching that show. She was upset at beginning. But slowly she got used to staying alone at every point. She wanted to enjoy it. But it was not that good. She was sure that slowly she would get used to it. She was so upset by this all. She just never understood that she forgot about her mother. She had to call her mother. She took phone to call her. Sheena "Mom how are you?" "I am fine. How are you? You are staying alone. I still feel that you should not stay alone. May be I should come there?" "No Mom.. Don't do it." Her mother looked confused but when she screamed this way, her mother changed subject then they chatted for long time. It looked so nice. So like that slowly every day seemed to go ahead for Sheena. She was so glad that she was not dreaming any thing, She was perfect. Her mother was calling every day and she used to even come to meet her from time to time. She started learning every thing by each step. She was so confused at beginning while managing things. But now she started to get settle at every point. She had to understand her mind and her plans. Then she could easily manage things. Every thing was fine. Until one day her mother came to meet her, she heard phone ringing. Her mother " Come on. Pick up phone." "But who was calling? No one know this number." Then Sheena took that phone, She was so confused that her mother was on phone. One mother was standing before her and another was calling her. Her mother " Sheena can you hear me?" "Mom I am.." "Just listen to me. I have to meet you." "But I can see you before me." That mother was smiling.She sensed some thing was wrong. She must had imagined her mother. She started screaming on every point she started to understand that she was getting worst on every point. She wanted to relax. But she couldn't. She just kept screaming until every thing did turn dark before her eyes. She started frustrated on every point. She was surrounded by darkness even when she woke up. She must had fallen for long time, Since it was totally dark, it must be night. Then she sensed that screams outside door managed to wake her up. She could hear her mother's voice. She was so upset. It was her dream and imagination again.
Sheena was no longer cared for her promise. She give promise to Kedar that she would never kill herself. But now it was getting to much. She started looking for something with which she could kill herself. Then she remembered oil in kitchen. She could burn herself. But when she went near it, she felt so scared. She ran back to bedsheet and tied it to fan. She decided that she would hang herself. She started to tied those bedsheet to fan. Then she started to stand on stool to hang herself on that fan. She started just one hope. That she would manage to kill herself. But then when she was about to hang herself, she saw that door was broken. Her mother came inside with doctor, they forced her to come down. She was getting out of control. But she didn't care any more. But doctor gave her injection. When she woke up, she was in hospital. Sheena knew that she was near her home again. She was no longer isolated. Sheena "Mom I want to go back. You know that if I stayed here Kedar would come. " her mother "He can't." " I just couldn't get it. " Her mother looked at psychiatrist. She looked so confused on every point. Sheena was sure something was so seriously wrong. Then she wanted to understand what was it. She was so scared. Sheena was sure that she needed to understand it so she just turned to psychiatrist. Sheena "Tell me what happened? " "Kedar commited suicide. He is dead." "But why? I have went away for him and now this.." She was so confused. Psychiatrist "He just can't understand your negative approach. He just felt that he couldn't live without you so he did it." "But I have done all this just for him." "Now try to relax. You are not alone responsible for it. Actually he had also lost his job." "Job?" "Yee. He felt that you left him because of it." "But how did this happen? I never remember he had any trouble with his job." Then suddenly Kedar's parents came in. Kedar's father "He was disturbed since you left him. We are so wrong when we thought that if you stay away from him. It will be good for him. It all turned wrong. He just wanted you." Kedar's mother started crying. It was worst situation. Sheena just felt as if it was all illusion in fact she felt that she wanted it to be illusion. But then she suddenly started crying because she still saw that another mother in corner so it was truth. She just began to cry as loudly as possible. But in her heart she knew one thing her mother needed her. She saw tears of Kedar's parents. She knew that she couldn't let this happen to her mother who suffered whole life due to her father. She decided that she would tolerate all pain for her. She went in her mother's arms and cried. But at same time she sensed that she was not alright. But she knew that her medicine would help her. She knew that she had to survive for her mother. She didn't just vanish from life. She needed to take decision which would show many different positive effect on her life. That was to stay with her mother and with people. She knew that she would do it. Sheena turned to psychiatriast. Sheena " Doctor I want stay here and handle this. Can you help me? " Psychiatrist smiled happily and said " Sure. We can work it out together." She knew that it was not that easy but she decided to do it any way. She never wanted her mother to suffer like Kedar's parents.
The End
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