Searching for second wife
Ajit was walking carefully on road. He needed to be careful now. His parents kept telling him. He was only one alive. He actually supposed to hate his life. He was driver of that car which had accident in which his entire family was killed. His wrong turn caused that accident. It was wrong move. He was guilty. He knew that very well. It was big mistake. He was feeling so sad. But he saw those deaths & he began to feel he didn’t want to die. He wanted to remain alive at any cost. It was important for him. He knew that people couldn’t understand his thoughts. He looked so selfish to world. He supposed to cry for his family. He needed to feel death was better option that life like this. But he couldn’t think that way. He wanted to feel positive on each point. His hopes needed to remain same for his mind. He began to feel so scared of his death. He wanted his life. When he came out of his hospital he declared it to his parents, he was even ready to get remarried but he decided that he shouldn’t do that Police might suspect he killed his family with intention. He never did that. He loved his family. He drove in wrong way. It was his big mistake but after watching that death. He got convinced in his soul that he didn’t want to die. He could sense that death would be worst thing. He began to feel so stressed. He still kept hearing their painful screams. He heard them screaming when they died. He wanted to help. He tried his best to help them. They were all alive when they were taken to hospital. But in hospital sadly no one survived except him. He was driver still he managed to stay alive. It was one miracle in view of people. He also considered it a miracle. He was also hoping to find positive things in his life. But his life was not moving ahead in positive way. Every one wanted him to feel sad. Sometimes he felt that they all wanted him to desire for death but he couldn’t. He supposed to miss his family. He missed them but he didn’t want to join them. He knew that he shouldn’t love life so much. But he started to love life a lot more than the way he used to love it. It was so odd. He expected to hate it. He began to jog very carefully on road. He started to make certain that he would jog for limited hours. He wanted to remain fit. He was concentrating on his health daily. He tried to smile to other joggers. Most of them smiled modestly. But he knew one thing that no one was interested in making friendship there. He wanted to find new friends. He was desperate about it. His old friends kept talking about his dead family. They looked towards him with sorrows in their eyes. They all missed his family more than him. He needed new friends & new life. He was searching hard to find it.
At
beginning Ajit’s dad felt that Ajit was just trying to please him by saying he
had moved on. He wanted to find another wife & he wanted to start new
family. But now as days went ahead Ajit’s dad began to sense that Ajit truly
wanted it. It was odd. Ajit’s dad felt so scared & nervous. Ajit was acting
odd. He was not sad at all. He was just too scared. It was so odd. He supposed
to feel sad. Ajit’s dad wanted Ajit to have sad feelings in heart. It was
normal. But Ajit never felt sad. He felt negative & scared. He wanted
positive thoughts in his mind. He was working hard to remain positive. But
Ajit’s dad kept feeling that it was wrong & sad. Ajit’s dad called his mom
to discuss. She came out of kitchen. “Don’t you feel this is odd! Ajit didn’t
feel negative at all.” She gave odd look to his dad & said “If he didn’t
feel negative that is great thing. I feel he was maybe not truly in love with
his wife!” “What? I always felt he liked her.” “Yes. He liked her but not the
way normally people did. It was just adjustment. Maybe he loved someone else?
He might be rejected by her or He didn’t dare to ask that girl.” Ajit’s dad
gave shocked look to his mom. “What are you saying? They had two kids?! He
didn’t even cry for his kids!” Ajit’s mom suddenly began to look so tense. She
sat down. “ So you feel Ajit is losing his mind.” “I can’t say it certainly.
But I feel he is! He is acting so strange. He began to talk about outings &
picnics.” “With whom?” His dad didn’t say anything for sometime then his dad spoke
“There was one girl from his college who just got divorced her dad is my
friend…” “So, he must be in love this girl & things doesn’t went as he want
so he married. Now he is going back to his first wish.” “No. Nothing like that
ever happened. In fact, that girl thought he is losing his mind so she
suggested her father to tell me. She was never interested in him & he was
never taking any interest in her. They have nothing in common. His suggestion
seemed like madness to that girl.” Now this managed to shock Ajit’s mom too. “I
don’t understand how could he propose some unknown girl like that?” Ajit’s dad
didn’t say anything then he said slowly “I feel he need psychiatrist.” Ajit’s
mom looked shocked. She screamed “Don’t you try that. What if he gets depressed
& try to kill himself??” “But he never thought that way. After death of his
family, he just kept talking about protecting his life. He never talked about
losing his life.” Ajit’s mom nodded. It was odd but Ajit was never negative
towards life. At beginning his parents were glad but it seemed like some
madness. He was trying to get married or start dating to any woman. He kept
trying hard to enjoy like. He wanted to go to each & every party. When
people didn’t invite him, he forcibly took invitation from them. It was not
good for him or anyone around him. Ajit was not acting normal. But his parents
didn’t understand what they supposed to convince him. It was getting upsetting
step by step. How hard he might try to convince he was wrong. They still didn’t
want him to cry. He was positive. It was good but still it was not so good.
Ajit began to
work. He needed to handle all his work. He was working so hard for such a long
time. He needed to earn money to start his new family. He couldn’t live alone
now. He wanted to stay alive. He kept thinking about their deaths. He wanted
alive people around him. He was trying so hard to get social with all people. He
was working hard to find someone who could make his life better. He wanted to
live like he used to live once. He wanted to stay away from death. He called
one girl from college. She just got divorced. He was hoping she would try to
date him but she didn’t call him back. He decided to call her. But then he
stopped. He saw that she emailed him & told him to not contact her again.
She was not interested in getting married or start dating so early. He was
clear that he was only person who was in hurry. But he knew that many divorcees
wanted to find nice partner but none of them was taking interest in him. He didn’t
understand why! It was so upsetting. He never acted in wrong way. He always
admired his wife & children. Now they were dead. He was alive. He wanted to
live his life happily. But he couldn’t since they all wanted him to cry. They
wanted him to remain sad. But he was not. He began to find more people. But
soon he got odd replies. All of them wanted him to show some sorrow for his
family. It was difficult for him. He was not feeling sad. He was feeling
scared. He wanted to stay with people who were alive. He kept doing it. He didn’t
even sense that one by one people started to complaint about him to his
parents. Finally, he did too much. His father-in-law called him “Do you
remember me?” “Papa why you are talking like that? I always respected you. I
will always remain your son-in-law…” Then he stopped. He sensed what he just
said. His father-in-law said “So you remember that I am still your
father-in-law? Your wife died. She didn’t desert you or divorced. She was honest
& in love with you until end.” “I loved her too.” “Then why you can’t stay
with her memories even for few days. Forget that. If you find suitable woman
& you move on. I will personally come to your marriage & give blessings.
But you are harassing women who are not interested in you! In your desperation
to find second wife you manage to hurt many women.” He wanted to say ‘no’ but
he couldn’t. Slowly his father-in-law started to cry on mobile. His
father-in-law then controlled his tears & said “I lost my daughter &
grandchildren many blamed you but I don’t. I just want you to live nice life. I
want at least my son-in-law alive but you are not living life you are destroying
it.” Ajit didn’t say anything. Then his father-in-law said “I will come tomorrow.
You must come with me. I don’t want excuses.”
Ajit wanted to deny but he knew that he couldn’t. He had no option but
to agree. “Okay.” Then time was fixed.
Ajit was waiting
for his father-in-law. He was expecting him to be taken in some place he could
see memories of dead wife. He dressed in modest way. He was feeling so negative.
Finally, his father-in-law came. He was shocked when his father-in-law took him
to hospital. Then he was introduced to psychiatrist. He began to talk. He
started to sense something was wrong. He was discussing his second marriage
& crying. Psychiatrist listened. Then Psychiatrist explained that he was
not exactly wanted to marry another woman. It was his way to hide from guilt
& trying to move on with life. It was due to his mental trauma. He was sad
just like other people but he showed pain in different way. His pain was more
than anyone so he reacted in this odd way. Then Ajit’s treatment started. His
parents were so glad when they knew about it. Slowly Ajit began to act like
normal. He was no longer interested in second marriage. He began to concentrate
on his work. After sometime he decided to start his own company & he began his
work. He was no longer interested in marriage but there was line of women who
wanted to marry him. His parents & his father-in-law hoped one day he would
marry someone. But now he needed time. Psychiatrist told them to not insist. Ajit’s
treatment was stopped he was normal now. He was glad about it. His marriage was
no longer his priority.
