Finding wonderful life
Tanuja began to write on laptop. Her brother told her to create record of entire family details. She began to write them on laptop step by step. She was typing everything carefully. She was storing every sort of details in it. She knew that they didn’t have extraordinary wealth. They got just normal wealth. She was trying to think positively about all. But still she kept feeling negative. She was keeping balance sheet of her entire house. She needed to keep this in correct way. She was trying to manage all. She began to watch details. Soon she sensed that something was wrong. Her Dad was taking out too much amount. She didn’t know what was the cause. She decided to call her brother Pradip. But Pradip didn’t take her call. She was frustrated. She needed to continue. She kept doing her work. She didn’t understand how could they permitted this to happen for so many years. It was so upsetting. She could see in that balance sheet that she was saving hard her entire family was saving hard except her dad. Her dad was wasting his money. Then she sensed what her dad would say. Her dad would say he earn it so he would waste it. She was not planning to stop him. She knew that she could manage her life without it. She needed to write down every transaction on balance sheet. She could see that she still had enough money to live her life happily. So, she decided to just write down everything. After sometime Pradip called her back. Pradip immediately came to point “What do you want?” “I observe in this accounts that Dad is spending too much.” “It is his earning so don’t see his expenses. Just observe expenses of other family members.” She didn’t say anything for some time. So, she was supposed to just observe her own expenses & her mom’s expenses. Then she sensed that Pradip just wanted her to do this all work to show her how much she spent. “OH! Don’t worry. I will manage to do our budget.” “Great” Then Pradip disconnected all. She sensed that she just supposed to reduce her spending. She decided to forget this budgeting. She didn’t need to do this all to convince herself to reduce her spendings. She felt so sad. She wasted so many hours without cause. She returned to kitchen. Her Mom was busy in cooking tasty food. She decided that she might needed to help her mom. She smiled sweetly & asked “Mom, do you want me to cook something?” “No need. Just do what your brother told you to do.” “Mom it is useless. I did most of it. But when I completed brother just told me to reduce our expenses.” “OH! Then we can do that.” She wanted to argue but she didn’t since it was just useless.
Tanuja
returned to her room. She immediately completed budgeting. She did it as fast
as possible & informed Pradip that she had done it. Pradip “Great. Now you
can know how to reduce your expenses.” “Yes. I will do that.” She felt so sad.
She knew her dad was wasting so much money. She wasted some amount too. But her
amount was nothing compared to amount wasted on her dad. Still, she was the one
who needed to reduce her expenses. She agreed to do that. She slowly started to
budget her things. She began to feel that it was better at least she was not
wasting money. She began to find things which were cheaper. She needed to change
all her branded items. But soon she began to feel this would be compromise with
quality. It might impact her health. She began to remove unnecessary items. She
just purchased those things which were needed. She started to feel so stressed
by everything. She wanted to feel positive in her thoughts. She started to feel
so happy when she reduced her budget. Then She called her mom. Her mom also
started to reduce her budget. They both began to reduce their expenses. Tanuja
began to feel so confident. She would live in her limited budget. She was
feeling so happy. She managed to show that she was spending less. She began to
feel certain that now her father & brother wouldn’t taunt her. She started
to get nervous. She asked Mom “Are you certain that this will help?” “Of
course. We reduce our budget so much!” She smiled. She waited for her dad with
hope of admiration. She even cooked some tasty food. She was so happy about
all. She prepared table the way her dad liked. They always did all to please
him. They showed maximum respect to him. They knew that his earning was very
important for their household. She understood perfectly that it was necessary
to permit full freedom to her dad. She arranged all before time. Then she sat
in her room with book. Their house was not big but she got small room. She was
happy in it. She knew that many people were not so lucky. She looked around in
her room. It was perfect. She knew that her dad might discuss budget. She would
need to explain all. She must convince him that she was not wasting money then
every thought would be fine. She smiled happily. She took out her canvas &
began to paint. Her painting was her life. She tried hard to develop source of
earning with it but sadly she couldn’t.
Tanuja was so involved in her painting that
door bell managed to make her nervous. She sensed that her dad arrived. She
hated that moment mostly. When she was child, he used to stay out of his way
but now it was becoming more & harder for her. She slowly stood & went
out. Her dad came in home. He sat on sofa. Her Mom came out. Mom brought some
fruit juice for dad. Dad looked towards Mom & said “I don’t want juice.
Give me tea or coffee.” “But you told me to prepare juice for you!” “I told you
to bring coffee or tea?! Don’t you dare to question me! You must listen to me
& do whatever I order. I don’t like when anyone answer back to me.” Tanuja
knew very well that this just apply to her & mom whenever Pradip answered
back Dad answer him nicely. She didn’t say anything. She just kept standing
quietly in corner. She began to feel so frustrated. She needed to keep her
positivity alive. Then her mom said “Tanuja drink this juice. Dad wants to
drink some tea or coffee.” Tanuja nodded happily. She was able to take that
glass of juice but on that point suddenly her dad took it. Her Dad drank it.
Dad “I drank it today. I don’t want it to be wasted.” “But Tanuja was drinking
it.” “That is wastage only. She doesn’t need juices to stay in house whole
time. She is not working. Her earnings are equal to nothing.” She felt so sad.
Her earning were not much still they were important for her. She began to feel
so upset. She knew that if she ate anything it would be wrong. Her dad
continued “& she is not also slim. Her weight keeps increasing.” She felt
so nervous. She was so stressed. She felt that she would no longer want to eat
anything. It took her few minutes & then she found herself opening
refrigerator. She didn’t sense how fast she managed to reach to chocolates &
began to remove wrappers. She started to eat them that sweetness was so
pleasant on tongue. It was so nice. She began to feel as if it was reducing her
stress. She started to think her tension would be gone. But still her mind was
not happy. She sat on chair & she started to eat chocolates. Her Mom was so
shocked. Her mom came running towards her & screamed “What are you doing?
Don’t eat chocolates like that.” “But Mom, I need them. I feel so happy…” Mom
took away remaining chocolates. Mom “Your weight is increasing. They are not
healthy for you.” Tanuja looked towards mom. “I can’t stop mom.” She started
crying. On that time for first time her mom sensed that her daughter need help.
Mom wanted to say it clearly but she was too scared to say it before Tanuja’s
dad. Mom decided one thing. Mom needed to do it on her own. Mom began to plan
what would be help for her daughter. She needed to find help & Mom was
planning to get it for her.
Tanuja’s mom
called her one friend next day. Her Mom was certain that relatives were not
going to help them. They all were too impressed by Tanuja’s dad. She decided to
call her friend. Her friend knew all about their family. She chatted about
normal things at beginning then slowly she told her friend & Tanuja’s issue.
Her friend “I feel your daughter need psychiatrist. She is having mental issues
due to your husband. If she keeps eating like that, issue would increase more
& more.” Mom didn’t say anything for some time. Then Mom decided to do it. “Do
you know any psychiatrist?” “Yes.” Then they discussed for some time. Mom took information
about psychiatrist. Mom had some saved money. She decided that she would give Tanuja
treatment. She took appointment. Then she told Tanuja to get ready. Tanuja didn’t
question her. Tanuja just nodded. Tanuja got ready. Tanuja knew that something
was wrong with her. She was not acting normal. She was feeling so stressed. She
tried hard to think positively about everything but nothing was working. Tanuja
didn’t ask any question. She decided to follow her mom’s order. She got ready
when her mom told her to get ready. She didn’t feel need to ask where. She was
little upset when she saw that it was psychiatrist. But she took her mind to
that point where she didn’t feel anything. She just sat. When her mom took inside,
she went. She decided to do as her mom said. She was thinking that she wouldn’t
talk but when she began to talk with Psychiatrist. She slowly began to tell
everything. She didn’t sense when she began to trust. Psychiatrist explained “Due
to attitude of your father & brother you have depression which started to
move towards eating disorder. It called Binge eating Disorder. You don’t need
to worry after treatment your depression will be reduced & this Binge eating
disorder would be gone too.” She smiled happily; first time she felt hopeful.
After that she continued her treatment. Slowly she learnt to ignore her brother
Pradip & her dad. She began to develop confidence. She took job as cook in one
restaurant which belonged to her mom’s friend. Slowly her life began to turn in
right way. She started to feel positive. She became a nice cook. She no longer
cared about her dad’s opinion. She learnt to ignore him & she moved ahead
in her life. She managed to reduce her weight too. Her life became wonderful
for her which was most important for her. After sometime her treatment stopped
but she always felt same confidence & positivity in herself.
The End
