Adventure story 178. To replace the wife

                                                           To replace the wife
When Raja was watching sky and clouds with full concentration, he just wanted to forget every thing and just wanted to remember his happy days. He just never wanted to believe that this was happening in his life. He felt as if he had living in bad dream. Yesterday his wife Ritika died. He still remembered clearly that she was sleeping with him in their bedroom. She just woke up in night and told him that she was feeling acidic which was so common for her. He just felt that she needed to take medicine due to eating wrong and spicy food of that hotel. She was feeling sick but even she was convinced that it was just due to that food. It was tasty but at same time it was so much tasty. They all wanted to keep eating that food. Even Raja felt that his acidity was increased. That food was so hot and spicy as well as delicious which would look great. They smelt it and started eating so it was clear that it was due to food. After all they were enjoying family dinner after so many years. Both girls were excited. It was due to Raja who never had free time. He was always busy with his work. He just wanted to spend some time with family. But they didn't have time in life to understand things. He was always busy. That day he decided to enjoy everything so they didn't control themselves. He felt that food was doing worst effect on him. It was showing heartburn. He felt that it was reason behind all. When food was too much oily and spicy, such things happened. That food was looking. When Ritika told him that it was hot and spicy, due to that interesting taste she ate it too much. She decided to take medicine of acidity. Then she went to sleep. He looked at her. She was really looked fine. He never remembered her taking her hand to heart. He never remembered her complaining about pain in heart. She just went to sleep. He felt that everything was fine. He still didn't know if she died in peace or she felt pain. She might had tried to wake him up but she couldn't able to do that. He just dreamed those things. It was creating worst effect on him. He felt so much guilty from inside. He felt just one thing that if only he had not slept deeply. Then he would had noticed that something was wrong with Ritika. He decided one thing that he must never sleep so deeply now. It would had some wrong effect on him. When he tried to sleep on bed, he just remembered his carelessness. He would get so much upset. He just couldn't sleep. He was getting restless on every point. He just couldn't able to take rest. On every minute he felt one burden on heart.
         When Raja went on bed, he just began to look at ceiling. He was so sure that he would not get over it. But he sensed that he had to hide it. He wanted to cry when he suddenly saw his girls entering in his bedroom. Pinky " Dad we are feeling so lonely without Mom. Can we sleep in your bedroom with you?" Raja saw that Annie was also standing with her. Of course his daughter were feeling scared. It was his duty that he should help them to sleep. Pinky and Annie needed him. He smiled and told girls "Of course you can sleep with me." When he said it, then he hugged Pinky and Annie. Both girls smiled and cried in their arms. He first time felt that he was not becoming nice father. He started one thinking in mind. That he had to replace Ritika. He took out a book to read story for girls. But they stopped her. Pinky "Dad!! Mom use to read stories to us when we are just small kids. Now we just sleep. You don't need to do any thing. Just relax and sleep." Then they both went to sleep. Pinky and Annie went to sleep peacefully. It was hardest sort of task. He didn't able to sleep. When life would had crisis, that crisis were leading to lot of troubles. Raja never imagined that in one day his life turned completely upside down like that. He just kept looking and it turned into something totally different. He started thinking once more about his mistakes. He just never understood that why would life became so hard. He just couldn't able to find those faults. He just kept thinking on every point with one hope. That he had to find faults. He didn't slept. He kept looking at his daughters. He was observing their breathing. Those daughters were sleeping peacefully. But he knew that their breathing could stop on any moment just like Ritika. He had slept on that day. If he had kept watching Ritika's breathing instead of sleeping. He could had saved her. He just felt that he murdered his wife. He wanted to cry but he couldn't. His daughter were sleeping and he had to observe Pinky and Annie. Both girls were sleeping on bed. He had to keep watch on them. He was so scared from his heart since on every point he had to keep watching those girls. Pinky and Annie both were sleeping nicely. They must had felt safe with their father. But their father Raja was not feeling safe at all. He was feeling so afraid. He was not going to sleep now. He decided that he would remain awake. He kept looking at ceiling. Slowly his eyes became heavy and he started falling asleep. He didn't want to sleep but he just couldn't control. He went to sleep. Slowly he fell asleep. He went in his dream world.
        When Raja woke up, he was so shocked from inside. He had slept whole night. He couldn't believe it. He looked around. He slept peacefully for whole night and he looked around. He looked at that side of bed where his daughters were sleeping. But they were not there now. He was so scared. He slept and lost his daughters also. He started screaming their names. He was screaming at top of his lung. Suddenly his daughters came running inside, he screamed on them "Where did you went? Don't you understand that you are not suppose to act like that? You have to wake me up before going out of room." Then both looked scared and started crying. Annie "Dad we are preparing breakfast for you."" Breakfast?!! But you are not suppose to go near gas without elder." "But Dad we don't use gas. We just toast bread and put jam on it." Annie" Then we made some lime water. I  don't even use knife. Pinky was permitted to use knife to cut lemon so she cut it. Then we put it back on shelf." Raja sensed that he had over reacted but still he didn't want to take risk. Raja " Okay.. Okay but from tomorrow you will do first thing that is to wake me up." "Okay Dad sorry. But we want to go to school today. We are not feeling so lonely without Mom in home." Raja started thinking if he should send them. His wife had died just on yesterday. It seemed so wrong that he send those girls to school. But then he sensed that he would not able to pay that attention to them. He had to do many arrangement like some baby sitter who would stay with girls when he went on job. This all looked so wrong. He never trusted any one with girls expect  Ritika. Now he had to trust some unknown baby sitter. It was so hard. His world suddenly began to look worst to him on every point. He had one feeling that he needed to adjust without Ritika but in his heart he knew that he couldn't do it. He loved her. He never felt it so much until now. When she was gone out of his life, he suddenly began to feel that he needed her like water and breathe. He never had time to think about this until now. In his busy days he always took her for granted. But now she was gone. He wanted to cry and for that he had to send his daughters to school. He told them to get ready. He decided that he would meet their class teacher and took her advice regarding it. He knew that they had to stay at home for at least three days. But that home had turned in worst place due to absence of Ritika who never left them alone like that even for few days. Ritika was devoted mother and perfect wife. Raja never thought about thanking her regarding it. He always thought that he could do it during retirement age. He would compensate it. But now Ritika was gone. He would never able to do it. He wanted to cry. But he had to drop girls at school before it. He just wished from heart only if he had some relative to take care of them. But it was not possible because he was only child and Ritika's Brother stayed in U.S. who just came and then immediately had to go back. He didn't had any help. His parents or Ritika's parents could had helped him. But they both were not alive so he was all alone with limited help. All other relatives just came and went away and same applied to neighbour. World was no longer that much helpful place for him.
           When Raja reached to school, he sensed that he made mistake because every one was just full of sympathy which managed to upset them more. Girls began to cry. Even he could say anything, class teacher told him that his girls could stay at home as long as they want. It was understood between the lines that it would be for week. Raja had to agree with principal and then they went back to home. Raja sensed one thing that he was not in his sense. How could he just act that way. He should not take his daughters in school next day after his wife's death. But at that moment he felt that it was good idea. He knew that he could arrange something after some days. But he was doing every thing in wrong way. Even girls were looking at him with confusion when he came out and took them with him. Pinky "We are not going in school? " "Of course not. You can't go in school so early. You have to wait for at least three days. Don't you understand that it doesn't look good?" "But Dad we feel so scared and upset at home." "I am there with you. Then why did you feel that way?" Small Annie started crying. It was clear to him that he was not turning in good sort of father in life. Those girls were looked really scared of him. He just never realized when this happened. Raja "Are you scare of me?" Pinky smiled. "No..No.. Dad not of you. We are scared of ghost. ""Ghost? Whose ghost?" Annie "Mom's ghost." Pinky " Yes Dad. Mom died with incomplete wishes so she must have turned into ghost." Raja was so shocked. He never heard such a nonsense. Of course he heard but never believed it that much. He performed all rituals with just one wish that it would keep his mind relaxed. Raja thought that he could use it now. Raja "But we have performed all pooja so her soul will be gone in heaven now." But it was all wrong. Those girls didn't looked convinced. Those girls would look so upset. Pinky "No Dad she is still wandering in house." "Why do you feel that?" "Yesterday Annie was playing with her toy and then she felt that something was behind her door. She went there and just on that moment. She heard Mom's voice. Annie looked so much upset." "She had imagined because she was so upset by her mother's death. " "No. Dad you have to understand our thinking. Even I have seen something in life." "Like?" "Dad Mom put my things on it's place. She was taking care of my things." Raja couldn't help it. He started laughing. Raja "Your Mom came from heaven just to pick your toys. It is not possible." "But Dad it happened." Raja felt on that point. It was just their childish thought.
       But then at every point Raja had one feeling. That something was strange in house. When next day Annie came running in his room and told him that Mom was calling her. He tried to convince her. But she didn't agree. Finally he decided that he would go with her. As soon as he entered, he clearly heard voice of Ritika. He was so shocked. Annie hugged him. He just ran around room. But when he started searching that voice was gone. Then after some minutes he remembered that he had not seen Pinky. Then he heard scream of Pinky. He ran in that room. All the books from Pinky's room were thrown in different directions. He was shocked when he noticed a note of mirror. That hand writing was just like Ritika's hand writing. In that note it was written that Pinky had to do homework. Raja was so confused. He didn't believe that it was ghost. He just felt that it must be some thing else. Then from that day every night girl started sleeping in his room. Even night he felt tense that something would happen to girls while sleeping. But one thing just kept happening. They kept hearing Ritika's voice. Raja performed every rituals but nothing helped. It was so strange. Annie and Pinky were getting scared on every night. Finally Raja decided that he couldn't let girls live like that so he decided that he would put them in hostel. He started searching for hostel. But then Pinky came in his room one day and told him "Dad I feel we have to change this house. I mean how can you just stay alone in this house. Don't you feel that it will be scary?" "Don't worry sweetheart I will manage." Pinky smiled and then Annie hugged her. Annie couldn't able to go in hostel since she was too small to get admission in hostel. Annie was expecting admission from hostel. But they rejected her so she had to stay. Until last day Pinky was hoping that Annie would go with her. They hoped that she would taken as special case. Finally Pinky went away and Annie stayed with Raja. Raja started living his daily life. But still he didn't got over his fear so he began get worst dreams. Finally his body began to show this. Then one of friend suggested counsellor. Raja went there for few days and started feeling okay. Everything was back to normal. Raja was sure that everything was fine. Until one day he suddenly received call from Pinky's hostel. They told him to come immediately. When he went there, he had to take Annie with him. He was tense whole time. One thing was clear that Pinky did something totally wrong. But he just never able to guess how much wrong did she acted. When he went in principal's room and told his name. One thing became clear that some thing was totally wrong with Pinky because there was sympathy in those eyes. Then in few moments one of teacher took Annie with her. Raja sensed that trouble was coming. Then that Principal slowly told Raja that Pinky was pretending that she was her Mom. Raja was so shocked every thing made sense now. He was upset that he was so busy in his mental problem that he hardly noticed one thing that since Pinky went to hostel. Annie never heard her Mom's voice. Raja "So what shall I do?" "Take her to psychiatrist." "I had went to counselor for treatment after my wife's death. Shall I take her to that one?" "Great do it immediately." When Raja phoned that counselor, who immediately told him to come with Pinky. Pinky looked fully normal to Raja. But inside his heart he was so scared and she would did some harm to Annie. When he reached in his city,he immediately took her to counselor. At beginning Pinky looked upset when they went inside there. Then slowly Raja sensed that what was wrong with his daughter. She started telling him in Ritika's voice that if he did took her to house. She would not tolerate this. Annies started crying. Luckily nurse heard those voices and came out who pretended Pinky that she was on her side. Then she took Pinky in room and gave her juice after drinking it. Slowly Pinky started feeling sleepy and she slept. Then counselor came in room who advised that Pinky should admitted to hospital immediately. Raja did as he told. Then finally he got chance to talk with counselor. Counselor "Due to stress of her mothers sudden death Pinky is suffering due to personality disorder. She was becoming her mother on some moments when she feel that she needed her mother." "Is it risky for others? " "Of course not. She is your wife who loved you and Annie so she just cared for you. So nothing is bad in her.Don't worry she will be fine." Raja nodded. He went out but in his heart he was so scared of his own daughter. He just hoped one thing from heart that he would get over it. After all he was only support of his daughters. Annie was his hope and Pinky was his crisis. But as a father he had to treat them both in same way. He just decided that he would do it. After all he was mother as well as father of them. Pinky was pretending to be Ritika but he had to replace Ritika. He knew that he didn't like it. In fact he would hate it but still he had to do it. He decided that he would replace Ritika for his daughters.
                                                                  The End

Poem 1972. Bird catcher

                                                                     Bird catcher
How hard you work just to keep me safe but I just began to love adventure when you work to
Keep safe at every step of life you want it to be safe you may not concern about that much
Regarding yourself but I just want to fly with full wing in sky so sometimes I do some adventures
Which are not that much great and now I sense one thing from heart that you are going to hate
How much you want to keep cover of safety on my head but I just do some thing which is not
In your eyes that much great but I just human you have understand that I make mistake I never
Want to disobey but my nature just never want to rest I know you want me to create just peace
But I want to try to others things because I always get encouraged by other human being I know
It is not right but I just always manage to take bait I know one day I will be caught like that fish
And that is making you tense but fish just have to swim and fish will learn from mistakes just
Be sure that every day I learn from my mistake I know I need to learn to talk with peacefulness
But sometimes tide just manage to take me that way I will try my best to play every safe but still
After some point I just can't manage to play that much safe because it is so irritating to play always
Safe on some moment I just feel I want to be happy and my happiness is not always playing safe
But when you warn me I try to act safe you just can't blame me because you are just in that symbols
I just can't understand them on every moment how funny is that life when you want to protect just
Always we manage to do one thing ignore you when you are doing just best but sometimes in life
It is so hard to understand what others feel on every way when we move ahead then we need to just
Understand work is important on every point and on every way so are important our well wisher
And friends but sometimes we just prefer to ignore their warning and when our ways some times
It is some crisis regarding our work or health but we just keep ourselves so busy that you just never
Have enough time to hear our friend actually you are not busy but we just hate to get caged but
I feel in mind we need to understand that is our protection not our cage but those thoughts which
Want freedom never agree to accept that we need to stay that way for our safety they just give us
One feel that we are not getting any thing in return but just one cage restrictions never seem right
On any day but we need to understand they are for us in life by some one who really care we need
To spend time to understand them after all on our life even their future is on some place depend
We need to understand our mind on every moment and we have to move ahead with each thought
To that way where we can see new lights in life on every way we feel new hope on every point
Which will show us new shine but some times you are right we have to walk in safe way in life
But tell me from heart don't you share same thirst of thrill from inside we all have it but in life
Problem is on every point that people just never like to see birds flying freely on every time and
There are some bird catchers who are waiting on every point so those birds which are caught on
Every point that catcher will plan to catch birds on every point those catcher will show us that
Idea of life after all birds are not free on every time we need to understand we needed to that bird
Which will have good effect on our life so those birds need to fly in proper way in life but then
Birds will have to move ahead on every point then birds will have some effect on our mind so
That birds will fly in sky but scared on every point so when we move ahead then we feel just
One thing from inside we need to be those birds who need to protect things on every point so
Then on every moment I feel one fear from inside that birds need to move ahead on every point
At safe place on every point they will also fly but safely in life may be I need to learn that safety
In my life how funny it seem to assume to be birds in life and instead of learning flying we just
Learn how birds manage to caught in life how sad but funny that feel on some times because if
Bird catcher is truth then protector is also truth at same point and my teacher told me that I have
To think in positive way in life because bird catchers were always there but protectors are new
And precious thing in life or may be they are also always there on every point just we never
Understood their value in life we just given importance to bird catcher every time now I have
Decided that protector is great on every point I feel one thought from inside that every point
Protectors should be important on every point so we need to ignore those bird catcher on every
Moment and point protector is great so admire them not bird catcher in life if we act as per them
May be we can find better way and tricks to handle bird catcher on every moment and every point. 

Poem 1971. Searching to fulfill wants

                                                      Searching to fulfill wants
That is one game we see on every time people are not understanding what they want from inside
That is one game we see on every time and every moment some smart one convince them that
They got what they want in life but one thing is so true from inside that when we move ahead on
Every moment and point we are not convince what is wrong and what is right because we just
Never understand what is our thirst from inside we just claim we want this thing on first moment
And then we want different thing after some time we need to understand one thing on every point
That this game will have some sort of effect on our mind when we start to move ahead on every
Moment and point game will show us many colors of life I know thing but most famous is that
Color of life where people convince you that they are fulfill with your want on some point and you just
Believe them while they have that power inside when you want to fulfill your want just always
Remember one thing on every point that you are the one who can fulfill your want not others in life
Because how others can understand what you really want since our wants are not even clear to our mind
We just get angry when we don't get something in life but we never thought once how did we can
Get that thing in life we just put that job on others and keep waiting on every point some smart
People will come and convince you that they will do it for you and you get convince on that point
When you get convinced once again you stop thinking in life so your job of getting things will
Become some one else job in life but just ask your brain once again in life is it possible that for
You some one else can have dinner in life if that is not possible then how did thing can happen
In life then how did we can get things as per our want without much efforts in life when we want
Some thing we have to do something for it in life just depending on others will manage to confuse
Our thoughts and mind whenever we need some thing then we must start our fight we need to just
Understand that this game of understanding that we need to understand our mind and our want is
Not like cooking food which some one else can cook for you in life your want is like eating food
Which you need to eat with your own hands in life when you need to eat that food then no one can
Help you but you have to use your own mouth on every time so to fulfill your want you need to do
Same thing on every point you need to understand that your want is your need and you have to act
Wisely to get things in life at every moment you need to think with peaceful mind on every point
You need to think again and again wisely about your life want is that thing which is your need but
No one can complete it for you in life you have work hard and find different way to fulfill it in life
When we move ahead on every step want will give some effect that will please our mind want is
That need which we have on every moment and want is that thinking which will have effect on
Our future at every time we need to move ahead at every step after thinking how can we fulfill
Our want on every point then only one day we can win when we start to work for that want in
Our own way in our life we may need to change our thoughts and thinking but that is not crime
Unless you did something totally wrong to achieve that thing in life when we move ahead we just
Keep one thought from inside that we just keep our morals and we keep our ego behind then
Only we can get that thing in life because when we start to fulfill our want our ego become our
First obstacle on every point and we just manage to confuse it with our self respect on every time
Our world will get confuse because we just think of our ego as right thing in life and our want
Just remain incomplete because we are ready to bow head when it is not less unless we bow it
Before some one who don't have god inside after all when we bow our head we are just bowing
It before god not before person because god is every where in life but sometimes some people
Are acted with us in such a way that bowing becomes insult in our mind we need to understand
Bowing is that factor which will have power over our mind we need to understand on every step
We need to bow before some person if we want to teach lesson to that one who insulted values
Which is step by our god on every point because in this way we can find some way to win what
We want from inside without any one we can get justice and that is truly one thought which will
Make our god happy on every time punishing some one is never our job on any point but we just
Feel it is our job when people act in wrong way in life so we need to understand we need to must
Find ways to achieve wants then later we can find ways to handle wrong person in life or may be
We don't need to do that job because when we find right way no longer wrong one will have power
On any point so hardest job is to find that way where we can fulfill our want on every point
But instead of searching it we are busy in finding way to punish who hurt us in life on every point.

Poem 1970. Commitments

                                                          Commitments
When you hold hand of some one just remember one thing you are giving that commitment
Not just to that person but to god and to this world may it be just few moments friend or some one
Special for you on every point of world I just have one feel from thinking of my mind at every
Point in this world commitment will have so much impact on our mind that commitment in life
That commitment will have some effect on our mind when commitment will look so hard to just
Understand in mind that commitment will show good side when we see them in good in shine
Inside life that commitment will show us many confused point we feel one thought from inside
That commitment will have some effect on our life when commitment will show us bright side
Commitment will show something interesting on every point then those commitment will have
Great effect but it happens sometimes one person see it in full faith and another feel it nothing but
Just commitment of one point which can be ignored after some time those things which are so
Important for one person can be nothing for other person in life we are so confused on every point
With our commitment in life that they are biggest trouble of our life because those commitment
Which we give in life no longer seem that much great when we give them with one hope from
Inside these commitment will show us good direction of life they will show us that these sort
Of commitment will look so much great on every point because commitments are some thing
Which are so important for mind we feel one thought from inside that commitment will show us
Those meaning which are so important on each word from inside when word will manage to show
Many power from inside when we feel commitments are for long time but some people will have
One thought from inside that commitment will show this world which will have great meaning
From inside on every point each meaning will look so interesting after some point when those
Commitment will become something for which we suppose to rule us for whole life sometimes
Just made in one impulse to give some person spirit in life and that commitment which we give
With hope true friendship use our commitment for long time manage to use just us for their benefit
For short time when we start to move ahead on every point so then when commitment will have
Some effect on our mind so when commitment will have different impact on our mind so those
Thoughts which are forming commitment at every point because in that commitment will just
Show good side of life when they are turning totally wrong way in life because those commitment
Will have some impact on our mind when we gave them with good thinking from inside then
We need to move ahead on every point that commitment will have some effect on our mind when
Commitment will turn in wrong way in life since commitment will have some different meaning
On every point then commitment will have many types of troubles in life then commitment will
Have impact on our mind so then commitment will have some effect on our mind but then those
Commitment will have meaning on every point those commitment will have bad effect on life but
Then commitment will have worst effect on our mind then promise are totally wrong on every
Moment and point after all commitments are just leading to lot of problem in our life since we just
Never understand at any point those commitment will show wrong turn of life then commitment
Will show those results on every point since commitment will have some thinking which will
Have words that have some effect to our life these commitments formed in wrong way in life
When commitment will show us one thing from inside that meaning will have one thought from
Inside commitment will turn in good way only when we turn into that section of our life but then
Commitment will move to that point because we will show those commitment which will turn
Proper in life when commitment turn int wrong way in life it just because we are not sure about
That commitment in life if we have not confirmed what other person in life how can that commitment
Will form any truthful need on every point when commitments are created just to give us new hope
From inside so those commitments are not real one in life those commitment will show us just
New world on every point those thoughts which are giving us commitments in life we need to
Just form them in one way that is we need to move ahead with one thought from inside that those
Commitment which will show us new world are just having thoughts on every point which will
Just manage to change world are only those in which we know faithfulness to that commitment
From both sides those commitments will create so many effect on our mind  but then those words
Are forming lines commitments will show us that side when commitment will show that things
Which will have one thought from inside commitment will lead to positive side on every point
When commitment should be of same intensity on both sides they will look so much great on each point. 

Poem 1969. Wish from god's heart

                                                       Wish from god's heart
Just because someone help you so much and care for you in life some people just feel that those

Who help us should treated like god on every point but if that one does something so wrong can you

Feel that thinking from mind that how can you treat just your helper like some god after all how

Much great may be that helper how much great may their deed for us in any part but I just feel

One thing from my heart that god have told us again and again never confuse a human with your god

Since human will have that heart which did many things which are wrong due to desires from their

Need and heart even if that one is greatest to you that one could have easily hurt other heart and

When you support that one you are hurting human being and their principles on every part do you

Really feel god is not helping you that much? That you feel human being is better than your god

Just ask again this question to your heart when you act wrong and hurt someone then you are hurting

That human heart and by supporting him you are hurting that god never just count what that person

Have given to you because when you start counting what god have given to you I am so sure that

God will be giving you more that any human on any part so just trust god and support good cause

Never say that I can't turn against that one because that one have help you on one part because our most

Strong and biggest helper is our god who want us to move ahead with just good way so even your

Best helper who may be for you a semi god does something wrong just start to protest on that part

Never let your morals become weak by counting favours on any part god is the one who helped you

In every way and given shine to your heart never confuse yourself just by that thought that you are

Dishonest to that one on any part since our honesty  should be to no one but just god how much may

Your thought confuse you from heart but one thing is so sure that you are hurting your mind by just

Confusing by what people tell you on every part when we read so many great book doesn’t they tell

You one thing on every part when you have to act right you need to act against many dear one and

Still it is perfect and great in eyes of god on every part what people says are nothing but words

They are not right way for our heart never think that what other have done for you can be greater

Than what god have done for your heart you never understand that how much god is supporting

You on every part god stood with you in every way and have seen your pain but just because it is

Not allowed god don’t come ahead to help you but god must have cried for you on that part but

Does our love limit to just those who come ahead and help us and not to those who can’t help us

But still love us from heart if you have just selfish thinking then you can just help that one who

Help you and forget our dear god and morals how can you live this way without a heart after all

When god goes away from your soul and heart then at every moment we just feel one thought

From every part that this soul which have given to us by god will greatest gift for our heart which

Give us that feel that we need to help every human on every part we must not hurt others and

Must not demand things when we have enough to please our heart we feel just we need to please

Those who are our helper on that part how great can be that care but it is never great that what

Our god says to our heart that tell us just one thing we need to cherish our morals most great

Thing that morals since may that one help you but who have given that one this power to help

Our thinking and heart no question about it but answer is our god when we move with each step

We just have one thought from our heart that helper is that person and we forget our pure god

We never understand what we feel from our heart but one thing is so sure that god is only one

Need which we have from our heart name may differ and way may differ but one thing is so sure

About god that he want us to be honest not to just one person but to whole world on every part

Those people who come to help us are nothing but just those tides of god which are given us in return

Of those right things which we done on every part how hard it may look but one thing is so clear

On every part that right way are something which we need from heart never just trust those people

And act dishonest for someone on any part because god is only one who is finally sending help to

Our wounded heart just trust your thinking and just trust your love for god just because god can’t

Come and tell you or can’t come and help you don’t feel that god is not your best friend on any

Moment and part god is truly with you but only if you understand that god from your heart that

God is just in every person who cry for you and help your heart since human never act what good happen it is send by god

But whatever wrong you do it’s your own part never just to please someone hurt pure heart because

It will hurt that god who have stood with me even when you feel that person whom you want to please

Is standing with you on that part because no one can help you and uplift you without wish from god’s heart.

Poem 1968. How complicated things

                                                        How complicated things
How complicated are things inside our life because those things are creating effect on that person and
His thought on every point because thoughts will show us that side of our life I feel one thing from
Inside mind I feel one thought from inside that complicated effect on our mind because that kind
Of complication will create effect on our mind because complication will show us some good thing
Which will create trouble in our life complicated things will have some effect on life that we may
Don't want to create on any point because complicated things will look so much hard to absorb in
Our future and life so complicated things will have some effect on our life then when things will
Have some reaction on our life I feel just one thing that complicated things are never wanted in life
Because complicated things will have strong effect on life then I feel one thought from inside that
Complicated things will have impact on our mind but they are not moving the way we wish from
Inside complicated things will have some effect on our mind when complication will have become
Part of our life I feel one thought from inside complicated things will show many sides of life but
Then complicated things will show many sides of life but then complicated things are leading to
Good side of life by turning in right way in life after all complicated things will look so much
Great on every point because complicated things will have some impact on our mind but then
Complicated things will have some things which will have reaction on our life because those sort
Of complicated things are basic of life when complicated things will have that basic things will
Have reaction in life because complicated things will lead to new creation to our life since that
Complication will have some good effect on life I feel just one thought from inside that complicated
Things are those basic of life which will show us many things are interesting but still so hard to
Learn in life but still we can't escape from complicated things in life because they are basic need
On every point so when hard things are beginning slowly it will look so good on every point so
I have one feel from inside that basic are so hard to learn in life at every step we need to move ahead
On every point those hard things are showing strange things in life when those basic sort of such
A complication in life because when thing will hard at basic on every point so those things which
Are important inside life when we start to move ahead in life complicated things will so much hard
On every point when complicated things will show us that these are basic of our new structures
Of our life because there are complicated things will began to create new world in life on every
Moment and point we feel one thing complicated thing are those basics which are not that much
Easy to take us ahead on every step of life so then I feel one thought from inside that when our
Thoughts will turn into positive way in life we will understand new ways are our needs in life
Those new ways which are basic on every point then complicated facts which are leading to just
Some effect to us in life then complicated things will create impact inside life but then when
We start basic complicated things needed to create to our life because complicated things are
Just important part of our life but then those hard sort of things in life complicated things will
Show many things in life those things are building new things in life but then complicated things
Are need of every part of life we need to understand them from inside on every part we feel that
We must stay away from complication of life but basic will have some effect as basic in our life
They are that need which can't stay away from life so easy ways which we love needed to be
Just left behind we can take easy way in life but some people just prefer one another way in life
That is wrong way which lead to just crimes that way which started with troubles in life is just
One way that will create new problems for our world in our life we need to find new ways but
Not by taking wrong way in life because it may look easy but finally it will manage to harm us
On every point when we move ahead I just feel one thought from inside that complicated in
Our life are good ways are never easy on any point but that doesn't mean we can get tired of those
Ways in life since those ways will have some effect on our life that complicated things will have
Some effect on our life complicated things will have some effect on our life then complicated
Sort of things will show new ways in life these complicated thing create new fun in life at beginning
You may find them hard in life but when you learn to live with them then only you can understand
Your life so let us welcome complicated ways with morals in life on each moment and point.

Poem 1967. Qualities inside

                                                               Qualities inside
Roses will have that soft touch which we feel on every point we just have one thinking from inside
Rose will showing that power which smell have inside on every point we feel we just want some
Thing like rose in our life it is not about beauty but about thought of mind but some people just
Hate rose so much that they feel need of other things in life they say they are nothing but beauty
On every point but don't you know that rose have other qualities inside it make your body cool and
It will be healthy when heat harm you in life it's great for many parts of body if you eat it in life
So just because rose have beauty quality doesn't goes away in life and we must not judge something
By beauty is total truth of life some hate because things don't have beauty and some just hate those
Things have beauty that is rule of our life on every point rose seem like something which we need
To have in life I just feel one thing from inside that roses are having that kind of look which will
Be beautiful in life but that doesn't make it ugly from inside when people say to you that don't look
At just look life means you need to understand that ugly can have beauty or normal can be excellent
In our life but people just use it in other way many time they began to say beauty means quality is
Just missing from inside just hating beauty means once again you are just giving importance to that
Beauty from inside because admire person's talent that is need of life just try to understand what
That one want to tell you in life never think what ratio of beauty that have from inside when we
Move ahead with qualities but people are so confused in life either they hate due to beauty or just
Love due to beauty in life they never understand qualities on every point they just have one feeling
From inside in life we need to understand many thoughts on many point beauty can be great or can
Be totally lack but that never decide what is inside on every point when we  move ahead beauty is
Just need of every point we need that beauty from inside and outside factors just don't decide it
On every point when we move ahead I just have one feel from inside every one just run after that
Look on some point but that is not mistake on every point because quality will be that important
Thing inside our life but we just never have that understanding on every point when our thought
Will look so much great we just see many things on every point we sense that rose it just that
Sort of important thing in life that thing which will look like that quality which will touch our
Thinking and mind we feel one thought from inside that quality are important part of our life when
We have quality then we just pay attention to it on every point when we look at looks then we just
Confuse our mind we feel one thought from our mind that quality will have some good impact
On our mind when we see beauty we form some opinion on that point sometimes for it's good
Quality and sometimes it's bad impact on life I just feel one thought from mind that quality will
Just manage to create effect on mind at every point quality will have some effect on our life but
Then quality will have effect on our life because quality will show us those section from inside
Which will have some effect on our mind quality will show us to that effect on our life but then
Those qualities are true meaning of our life may be those quality will show us different side of
Our future and life when we move ahead with each step I just feel one thought from inside that
Those qualities are creating effect on our world because they are showing us new world in life
But we just judge someone by look then we need to understand it after some time that look will
Have some effect on our mind which will show this world good and bad in life but even if we
First judge person by look that thing is common in life we need to understand that thing from
Inside when we move ahead in life look will have great effect on our mind that thought which
We have in mind we need to find qualities which we never need in life some need to find that
Thing which is interesting in life that should be skill which we need from inside we never want to
Confuse our thoughts and mind at any point by look because they are never tell us what is hidden
Inside on that point we want something to please our mind but at every step we need to move
Ahead on every point with just one thought from inside that look can't tell us what is hidden
Inside on every point we need to find something which is in our mind that mind will tell you
On every point one thought from inside quality will show us many thoughts of our mind when
We start to move ahead we never once thought one thing from inside that quality will make us
Winner in life we need that quality not what we see outside when we judge by looks and say
Something it is mistake of our mind it could understood on every point if we improve it on time.

Poem 1966. Change of light

                                                          Change of light
Weather will come with many lights on every point it will have some effect on life at every
Moment I feel just one thought about those light that those lights have one tendency from inside
Not staying on any point so sometimes it's bright and sometimes it's so less inside life when we
Move ahead on every point these lights will have some impact on life but they never stay in same
Way on any point  they will just keep changing on every moment of life it seem so strange when
Those lights will change on every point when light will have some impact on our mind I just feel
One thought from inside that those lights are having some effect on mind we just feel one thing
That  feel one thing that they will stay in same way for entire life but light never shine in same way may it
From sun or artificial light some times some other part of weather and sometime some person will manage
To block that light it is part of our future on each point when light will have some impact on our thinking
And on our life but we just keep hoping it will remain same on every point but that will never happen because
Life will going to break many rules which are not perfect for our life on every point I just feel one thing
From inside that those lights are showing many angles of life those lights are creating effect on our
Life's each and every part that light will have some effect on our life's every angle which show us
Effect on that part where weather began to create impact on our heart we need to move ahead with
Just one thought from every part but it seem as if those lights are going to shine which ever way
They want to move on every part that light will shine in different angles which will please their
Thinking and heart those parts which are creating effect on our heart never shine as per our want in
Just one way of our heart because lights will lead to that angle which will create full impact on our
Thinking as well as our thoughts those lights will show us many things which look so different in each
And every part because that light will shine in such way that things will look so interesting in every
Angle of heart when those lights shine we just find some way to keep those lights same to please our
Heart like those artificial smile which stick to our face to please our thoughts and our life when we
Just began to think one thing from our thoughts that weather will give us perfect look on every part
But one thing is so sure for our heart that we just can't make it perfect as natural weather same way
We just can't smile in perfect way as we wish on every part since that smile is just that artificial
Light which is just fulfill need but that shine never show us every corner and every part same
Way this smile can't show us every corner and thinking inside our heart I just feel one thought on
Every part that mind is not going ahead as per our wish on any part that artificial smile just did one
Thing it was to please others heart or hide those feeling which we have inside our heart when we
Start to move ahead on every part we just have one thinking from our heart it was just one thought
That we have to move ahead on every part that artificial thing will manage to harm us on every
Part of our heart those moment which will create so impact on our mind that we just began to feel
One thing on every part that we need some thing in control we want artificial thing just to control
That situation on every part which will show us some light that will show us that beauty of heart
So we run after artificial want of light on every thought and on every part when nature will have
Some impact on every part of our heart we just have one thinking that will manage to hurt us on
Every part since artificial thing never help our heart it will just create many sort of troubles for
Our future and heart it will show us on many parts what we feel from heart it was just one need
From our heart which will tell us that our moving ahead with pleasant thought will look so great
That we have seem to make whole world happy on every time but then that artificial smile will
Have some impact to our life but then these artificial smile will have some effect on our mind
Then artificial thought will not really wrong on every point but then when we start to think again
In our life that what is use of that artificial smile if we can't able to change it into real life those
Thoughts which touch us on every point seem like those things which will lead to that angle of life
I feel just one thought from inside artificial thing is just one thought from inside that when we can
Turn artificial smile into real one in life then only we can achieve that happiness from inside since
On every point I have one thinking from inside that those things will lead to artificial thought which
Will lead to wrong way of life but then these smile and laughs should lead to real after some time
So then that artificial things will look real in life so if we want real then we must expect to turn it
Perfect only when it is real in life but real will not shift from one point to another point inside life.

Poem 1965. Cleaning our soul

                                                               Cleaning our soul
When touch of cool water touches our body how easily it clean us on that time only if same way
We can clean person's mind then how easy it will be our life that trouble will those far away
Sort of things in our life where feel of water can easily finish on every task on every point but
Sadly cleaning mind is not as easy as cleaning body on every time we need to understand one thought
On every point that water can clean our body but it can hardly clean us from inside nothing can be
That easily clean our mind because when we want to keep it same way we need to understand what
We have in our mind no one can help unless we decide to move right way and clean wrong thought
From our mind just digging past will never make us winner on every point but that is what we do
Most of time from inside we feel that cool touch from inside we have that touch on every point
We just never understand water can make us so much alive when that water can make us cool and
Peaceful on every time since water will be something which have power on just outside factors
In life it may clean you from outside but for your mind first you need to decide that I will clean
My thoughts on every point then only we can find those touch which will clean us from inside
We need to move ahead at each step with so much care on every point we need to understand just
One thought from inside that water will be that thirst which will create lot of troubles for us at
Every moment and point those outside look will not be enough in our life we need to understand
Just one thought from inside water can do wonder for our life since it is that truth and thirst of our
Future and life which will show us many ideas of our life that will take us ahead on every point
Because cleaning will be job of water but cleaning our mind will be one job of our mind on every
Moment and point cleaning will have some effect on our thinking and our mind which will show
Cleaning is that power which we need from inside but it is something which we must do with just
Faith from inside not with just something from our side since cleaning is not one job which we
Will do on every point but not by those things which are part of outside things on every point
We just feel one thought from inside that water will clean every thing on every point but that
Water will not touch us from inside it will have power on that body which can be easily seen in life
It never goes to that soul which is hidden inside we all want every thing to be easy for our future
And our life but that will not happen on any point since what is wrong with mind will most hard to
Clean thing in life since that water will sparkle on every point and give it that shine which will
Just manage to please our mind that water which will show us many thoughts from inside so those
Thoughts can be understood by it's purity in mind but only when we decide that we will understand
This water and it's concepts in our life when we decide that cleaning will be that thought which
We need in our mind it is not as easy as throwing water on others and cleaning them in life on
Every point we just have one feel from inside that we want water as basic need of our life since
That water will show us that part of world which will take us to that point where world is just
Something which will be unknown to us on every point we need our world to be clean on every
Moment and point but it is not clean to others when we never have even our mind clean enough
In our life that cleaning will lead us to that point where cleaning will show us that effect of life
Where we need to understand every thing from inside before moving ahead we need to find just
Perfect and clean thing for our mind but we just keep searching it from outside but we have just
There list of books which have told us right way of life and we are not ready to accept them in life
We want them to take us ahead on every point because they are cleaning many thoughts of mind
They will show us many things in life which will look so much great at every point our thinking
Will need positive thought from inside that is collecting proper thoughts of moving ahead with
Positive shine on every point we need to move ahead at every point of life because it is just manage
To take us to that direction in life where we feel that cleaning of our soul will really help us in
Our life we can keep clean our heart that is important in life when we move ahead on every point
That cleaning is precious in our life since that will take us to that point where we can see happiness
From inside we need to understand one thing on every point we need to keep open our mind and
That will only help us on every point we feel that cleaning will happen automatically in life and
It will not happen on every point when we do something to get that thing only then it will happen
In our life we can see clear and pure things in life which will show us that light which will become
Our life because just cleaning of our body is not enough what we truly need is our clean mind
But just outside things can't do it we need to to do that from inside on each and every point of life.

Poem 1964. Concepts with peace

                                                            Concepts with peace

How interesting are some concepts which relax us in mind but some people just don't want them to

Become part of their life we want to relax but they just want to move ahead in life some people want

Us to see those concepts which will take them ahead in life but sometimes those concepts which just

Truly touch our mind are those concepts which are giving effect to our mind we need to understand

Just one thought from inside that some concepts are made in such a way that they will give our life

New meaning on every point some people just never understand any concept of our life while some

People just feel that concepts are our future and they will be some thing which give smile to our 

Thoughts and mind but at same time some people feel that concepts should be such that will make

Us true winner in life I just want my concepts to be something which will relax our mind I want 

Those concepts to give our world perfect look and shine I want my concepts to be understood by

Other person not because I want to boss them but because I want just my peace of my mind but then
Some people just want every thing which so much desire that they feel they must understand that 

Concepts will have different ideas for our life those concepts which will give shine to our future

Are something so perfect in their life but what kind of shine you want is something different on 

Each and every point concepts are telling us again and again on thought of our mind that concepts

Are those thinking which will give this world true sort of shine we need to understand one thought

From our mind that concepts are that thinking which will take us ahead to that world for which we

Have desire from inside of our mind those concepts which may make us winner are not always with

Morals and right on every time when such a thing happen I just feel one thing ignoring just those

Thoughts and concepts is wise for our mind we need to understand on every point that concepts are

Those thinking which will give our world wonderful shine only when they are peaceful for mind

But some people don't have desire for peace on any point they just want those concepts to give 

That world different type of shine we want our world to sparkle on every point we want those 

Thoughts to create one concept which will show many sort of looks to our mind we never want 

This world to create different thought for our mind we just want one thing that is happiness for

Our mind but some just never understand that winning will not make happy but it will just create

Strange kind of thirst for our mind we want to move ahead to totally wrong point of our life since

Those concepts are leading to totally wrong point we need to understand one thought from inside

We need to understand one thought from our mind that concepts are some thing which will just

Look so much great inside our life we need concepts to create impact on our mind they will show

Us many thought from inside which will show us we need to move ahead on every point just with

One thought from inside that we need to move ahead with just one thought we need to gain things

In our life our thinking will show us many concepts in life which will show us that word gain

As important on every point since gain is that part which will have some effect which will be so

Much unknown to our mind because concepts are those parts which will look so nice only when

We set those concepts as peace marker of our life we just feel those concepts are our best helper

On every point because they are that part of our world which will show peace to our mind we 

Can't convince people but one thing is truth of life peace is most precious thing on every mind

Because it is like need of life same way as water needed for body on every point we feel one 

Thought from inside that water will fulfill our thirst of body while peace will fulfill our mind

Without it we can hardly able to live nicely in our life because that peace will just mange to show

Us that thought from inside which says peace will help us to that point where whole world will

Show our mind one concept in life peace is that thought which we need from inside at every 

Step of life I see peace as basic need of my life peace will show this world that side of life that

Will show peace as power of mind it will make us happy from inside so peace is that wonderful

Concept from inside since peace will show this world that thought which will take this world

Ahead on every point because peace is that need which will manage to show us that shine with

Pride which will give happiness from inside peace will show us that point where happiness will no 

Longer just concept but truth of life peace will make us winner on every point of our future and life.

Poem 1963. Hopes in life

                                                             Hopes in life
Can you tell me who I am in that bright sort of light I know you will call sun because on that moment
You just see my sunshine on every point and can you tell me who I am at that point where bright look
Can affect you and seem still nice on every time at that moment you may name me some thing but
I am just one thing on every point I am your that hope which stay alive in my mind I am your that
Fresh thinking which will show me that sunshine for which I use to wait on every time I am that part
Of your thinking which just always say yes on every point I just feel one thing from my mind that
Fresh thinking must start with me on every time I am that thing for which you spend your every point
And moment in life I am your that part without which you are nothing in life I am your that sort of
Thinking which will seem like rose on every point that soft sort of touch on every point since those
Nice sort of smell which will show perfect sort of feel for our life but then hopes are something that
Which are giving reaction on every point that hope will have some power on future on every point
That hope is our breathing which will show our life that look on every point because those hopes are
Just some thing so nice but then beautiful look of hope on every point because hope is that sort of
Rainbow which will have many color in life that hope which will give our life shine which will look so much
Great on every point I just have one feeling from inside hope will show us that good side will look
So much nice effect of life those hopes are something which will show us good sort of light since
Those hopes are taking us to that point but then hopes are just turning to wrong side they will just
Create so good effect on life I just feel that hope is that umbrella which will survive many things
I feel one thought from inside that hope is that power which will show us many sort of things in life
We need to move ahead on every point with just one thought from inside that hope will have some
Sort of power which will take us ahead to good side on every point I feel one thing from inside
That hope is that power which we need from inside I feel just one thinking from my mind that those
Powerful hope just remain on that point at every point hope just vanish when we start to ignore it
From inside when we move ahead we just feel one thought from inside that hope is that strength
Which we need from inside those hopes will show us many sort of feeling from inside after all
Those hopes which will have some impact on our life since hopes will show us many points in life
Those hopes will manage to take us ahead on every point because hopes are some thing which will
Have some effect on our mind but hope is truth from inside we need to understand hope on every
Moment and point because hopes will show us that side where we can feel happiness from inside
So those hopes will show us pleasant things in life then hopes are showing good side of our life
When hopes will show us that side where we can see through hopes our life when hope will act
Like some power on every time so those hopes will show us that thought of mind which will just
Manage to show us new thinking on every point I feel one thought from inside so those thoughts
Will show us many angles on our life when hopes will show something interesting on every point
That hope which will look so much good on every point because hopes will look great in life so
Hope is just one thing we need from inside so that hope will have one thought from inside so then
I have one feeling from inside that hope will give some interesting look to our  life it will look
As if hope will look so great on every point but then hope will have some special effect in life
Because hope will give our life that look in life which will have some interesting effect on mind
Those hopes are something which will have good look on every point but then hope is that thing
Which will have effect on mind because hopes will give our life so pleasant sort of shine so then
Hope will have so much important in life then hope will have some interesting impact on our life
Because hope is that area of life which will look so much great for our life because hope will
Just give our world perfect sort of shine which will manage to hurt our world when we don't
Understand that shine properly in life but then hope will look so much fresh thing in life then
Hope is like pillar which will help us on every point when we move ahead on every point but
Hope will have some good effect on our mind hope will have one feel one thought from inside
That hope will look so much great on every point in our life because that hope will take us ahead
On path of life because hope will look so much great on every point since it is one of biggest
Sort of cause in life since hope will take us to that side where we need to understand our life.

Poem 1962. Feelings

                                                                   Feelings
Some feelings are always part of life it no longer matter if we like them or we just dislike them on

Some moment and point those feeling which are touching our mind are showing us that world which

Will touch our mind we need to understand one thought from inside that it will no longer matter to

Our mind which feeling is profitable to us in life when we start to feel from our heart and not from

Just our accounting mind it is same mind which will have softness of butterfly inside and it is same

Mind which open that book of mathematics to get things right we need to understand every thought

On every point that those books which are having emotions inside are telling us that we must move

In proper way of life we need to move ahead with so much care on every point that this world will

Just confuse thinking of mind feelings are so precious in life when we feel something we just never

Understand our mind because those feeling are some power which will  decide that part which will
Have some effect on our mind not because we want to have them in life but then I feel one thing from
Inside that feeling will have so much effect at every point we feel one thought from inside so then
I feel one thought from our mind but then when at every point feeling will have some reaction on
Our mind I feel one thought from inside that feeling will take us ahead on every point but then
Those thoughts will have some reaction on mind I feel one thought on every point because those
Mind are having different reaction on our life feeliwillre those thinking on every point because some feeling
Which will have some good impact on our mind so when we move ahead on every point so then
Feeling will have some effect on our mind because feeling will have some side effect on our life
I feel just feeling on our mind when feeling are turning into some thing nice on every point so on
Those points in life I have just one thinking from inside that feelings are those things which will
Just enter in our life it will not about how much we welcome them and some will have side effect
On life so then feeling will show results on life when our thinking are telling those feeling on every
Moment and point I feel that feelings will showing different effect on our life because they are always
With us from inside after all feelings are those effects which will show us every road of life we just
Have one feel from inside that our feeling are taking us to that point where I can see my world in
So different way that I feel that my feelings are creating impact on my mind after all those feeling
Will have so many impact on life those feelings will have some reaction on every point I feel just
One thought from my mind that feelings are just showing different sides and different angles of
Our future and life when we move ahead we just have one feel from inside that feelings are just
In our control but still they are not in control in our life since those feeling will show us many
Sort of thoughts from inside after all those feeling which will show us that future which will have
Effect on our life I just feel one thing that feelings are not something which are in our control in
Our life because those feelings will show many impact on our life because those feelings will
Have some effect on our mind then feelings will show us many times of things which are just
Showing world in different light I just want this world to look great on every point when I will
Move ahead I just feel one thought from inside that world will give my life that type of shine
Which will show me on many angles that beauty which will touch my mind when I will move ahead
On every point I feel one thinking from inside that feeling will have power to give perfect light
On horizon but if that feeling turn in wrong way on some point then we are in worst problem of
Our future and life at every point we will feel one thing from inside that feeling will have just
Some effect on our mind because they are taking us to many sort of effect on our life I just feel
One thought from inside but then feeling will show us positive side of life if feelings are taken
In proper way in life then they will show us that new world which will show our life that pleasant
Look of life which will tell us one thing on every point that we need to move ahead at each time
With just one thought from inside that feelings will take us ahead on proper point we feel just
One thought from inside that feelings are those uncontrolled things which will tell me on every
Moment and point those feelings will tell our life those feelings will have just show off in life
So then on every point I feel one thought from inside that feelings are no longer that much nice
So when we move ahead on every point feeling will have some power which will have some feel
From inside then when those feelings are not in control in life then feeling will have some effect
On our life good things are having feeling on every point of our future as well as our life in life.

Poem 1961. Scorpion in life

                                                               Scorpion in life
How easily some people laugh on others pain it manage anger in us so much in life but we need to just
Understand scorpion will remain same way and changing it will be useless in life but we just still
Feel one hope from mind that on some angle this scorpion will change and we can able to see some
Way which will give us less pain in life when scorpion will hurt us by biting we can't change it's
Way we can find medicine in life so you neither change other person's way nor you can change
That person's thinking about life when we start to move we just need to find some way to reduce
Our pain from our mind when we move ahead we need to understand what we feel from inside
That poison which we see as some thing which we need to cure in life but we can't tell scorpion
Not to bite again because scorpion never change it's way in life and our anger never help neither us
Nor our friends in life when some one hurt you try to treat it just like some scorpion bite because
That pain will manage to hurt our body on every point we just feel so much effect due to it on our
Brain and mind those scorpions are creating so much pain on body at every time we just feel them
So much on every day because those pains are some thing cause by our mistake but due to some one
Else inside life when I see that scorpion on every point I just feel one thing they are just like that
Human on every point that person hurt us on every point we need to understand that this mind will
Have one effect on our mind that is it will manage to tell us on every point that we need to stop them
But we need to understand we need to move in our way to cure ourselves in mind it doesn't matter
What they do in life if we are strong enough to cure our mind we need to understand one thing on
Every point we have need to be strong enough to move ahead in life we have one thought from our
Mind that our need to move ahead is by curing our mind just attacking others will not help us in life
We need to first plan what we want to do in life we need one thing on every point that our need to
Move ahead will show us that point where in this world we will see that impact on our mind that
Those things which will have some effect on our mind because some people are worst in our life
Those worst people will show us many worst point so then we need to understand on every point
That some people are having poisonous types of mind they just want one thing from inside that
Mind will have so many different concepts in life so when we move ahead we feel one thought from
Inside we have one thought from our mind that some people are creating worst effect on our mind
They are just hurting us and that is their style whatever we think but still we feel one thought from
Inside when we feel pain that person's thinking will just manage to hurt us more and more in life
Our thinking will get confused on every point we just feel one thing that this person will take us
Ahead on every point we feel that pain from that act but it is not permanent it is just temporary
Thinking on every area of life when we move ahead we just have one thought from our mind that
Our brain need strength from inside but it will not some thing which we feel from our thinking
And our mind we need to understand pain which we feel from our mind those pain which we feel
Are part of our life will take us ahead on every point with one thought from inside that when those
People act in painful way I just feel one thought from inside that when our mind feel that poison
We just feel pain on every point those poison which are taking us ahead on every time we feel
Just one thing from inside then poison which those people throw us will just manage to harm us
On every point because those poison will have some effect on our mind because poison will have
So many reaction on life because those poison will have that quality which will hurt us on every
Moment and point I just feel one thing that poison which will harm our life but if we will see to
Want that poison out of our life at every point we feel just one thing from inside that this poison
Will have just effect on our mind which will take us ahead on that point where we feel just one
Thing from inside that poison is that part of life which will show us many quality of life we want
Our life to good on every point but sometimes some people turn into poisonous at every point
That problem will have some results are doing effect on life I just feel one thought from inside
That scorpion which will manage to harm us in life then those wrong things will manage to hurt
Our mind because wrong things will have effect on our life when poison have bad effect in our life
That poison which will have some effect on our mind after all those vicious effect will lead to that
Complicated point where we can see bad effect on our life because when I will look at those points
I will see evil parts in life when at every step we feel one thought from our mind that evil feel will
Show worst impact on our mind those scorpion to our life every time then that kind of scorpion
Will show poison have worst in life so those tails have so many harmful effect inside our life
But that poison will have so many hard results in life those evil things are having bad impact on
Our future and mind those wrong effect will become part of our life on every point those effect
Will show some impact on life but cure is most important inside our life it will have effect in life.   

Adventure story 177. Education

                                                               Education
Manisha returned to her home after long time in camp. She was working so hard in those education camps. She missed her house from heart. She wanted to return. She felt one thought from inside. That she wanted to complete her duty. She remembered those days. It was so hard. Every poor person would looked so sad that she just wanted to help them. But she couldn't. It was not that easy to help every one. It needed lot of money. She knew from her heart that she could not help them. She just couldn't forget all her securities and gave them to those poor people. She knew that if she behaved this way. She would be poor and these same poor would not give her any respect. She noticed that how did they treat other poor people who were staying with them. She had to think practically. She knew that her volunteering was just one thing. She would able to do. She knew that she had to think about them in great way after all she was teacher. She knew that if she educate them without charging then she would help them. But those people were not interested in education. They treated her with suspicion and they all claimed that she should give them money or she should just get lost. It was so hard for her. All they expected from her was just money. She just couldn't give them money because she knew that they would waste it on wrong things. She sensed that many had alcohol problems in life. It seemed that they were not interested in education. They just wanted shortcuts in life. If she showed them those then only they were interested in her. They were even not ready to send their children to education camps. She was so frustrated by it all. She had many times search for her students and finally she got just one or two children. But she had to work for that camp with one hope that even if she didn't search and took those children to school still they would not go to school. But in her heart she knew that it was not possible. She felt so sad when she saw those school classroom with so few children. She just wished from heart. They should give importance to education but there was just irritation in their eyes. Finally after some days camp was over and she returned back to home. She felt just one thing that she could able to do any change. She felt as if she was creating troubles in their life because she knew that some children were really developed interest in studying but at same time she was sure that their parents would not let them to go in school for long time. She felt so useless. Her returning to home was relief for her family. She knew that they were finding it so hard to manage house without her.

       When Manisha returned back to her house, her kids and her husband greeted her so happily. She was so happy. Finally she was back. She looked at her house. It was big mess. She looked at every section. There was just dust and things were scattered every where. She had to start working immediately. She started cleaning kitchen. She was so upset to see that wastage in kitchen. Many boxes were kept open due to this. All products inside those boxes were spoiled due to weather. She just kept remembering those poor people and their lack of food. While her house was loaded with food still all food was wasted. She felt so sad. She just wished that her family should understand importance of food. Any way she had even chatted with her kids properly. They came to receive her but she was so exhausted at that point. But still she sensed one thing that some thing was wrong with her daughter Trusha. Trusha was looking so weak. She resembled to those weak children whom Manisha was trying to help. But Manisha felt that it might be possible that Trusha was ill or something. After all Mahesh had to take care of all house. It must not be that easy for him. He must had made some carelessness. But since now she had come back, she felt that she would turn everything back to normal. As it was once used to be. She decided that she would make pizza for kids. She wanted that tasty pizza to tempt Trusha. She wanted to see her daughter eating in normal way. She knew that it would be exhausting but still she needed to do every thing in correct way. She had to clean kitchen. She started to bring shine on every thing. She was making us kitchen best. Then she made a list. She decided that just pizza was not enough. She also needed to make dessert. She cooked tasty sort of dessert. She cooked a perfect cake. She knew that Trusha liked large chocolate cream cake which would be decorated with cherries and more chocolate. It looked so much beautiful. She looked at that cake which looked so beautiful. In that cake it would looked so much great and wonderful. It was tasty looking cake that would look so nice and fresh that Manisha just wanted to eat it while making it. But she controlled herself. She wanted to cut it before kids.She hoped that it would cheer up kids specially Trusha. She wanted Trusha to eat. First Rani came. He just jumped after seeing pizza and cake. But Manisha noticed that Rani's weight was already increased so she had to watch out for her weight. She felt as if she had to make him wait. It seemed as if Rani was eating too much and Trusha was eating too less. But Manisha smiled. She felt that Rani was still looked cute and she could manage to reduce Rani's weight easily because when she told Rani to wait. Rani immediately agreed and ran in her room. She was sure that Rani would be once again busy in her book and would not come out until called. Rani was always obedient girl. But she could not say same thing about Trusha who was too much stubborn. But Manisha was sure that today she would tempt Trusha with cake and pizza. After all she was her Mom. She knew how to handle her. Manisha smiled very happily. She was sure that Trusha would be happy and tempted with these thing. But she knew that Mahesh would want normal food so she started cooking dinner for him. He needed proper food every day. When Manisha was not there,he must had suffered lot of junk food. She had one thought from inside. That she must served Mahesh properly. She wanted to make him happy so that he would feel, she had compensated her absence. She smiled from heart.
       Finally that time reached when Trusha would come. Rani was so hungry due to that smell that she came and just watched that cake for three or four times. Manisha sensed her impatient. She knew that Rani was waiting for Trusha from heart or complete truth would be stomach. It was perfect thought since when she saw that cake. Rani was waiting for hours. When Trusha came, she just came running. Rani " Didi Mom cooked excellent food for us. She made such delicious food that no one can say no to it. " She pulled Trusha in kitchen. Manisha was watching this. She was glad that Rani was doing it in natural way. She didn't want to force Trusha and Rani was making it easily for her. Then they took out cake. Rani showed it and admired it from heart. She just loved look and smell of cake. Then Rani forced Trusha to cut that cake. Trusha did and Trusha was smiling so happily and looked at that cake with such affection that Manisha felt sure. That Trusha would eat that cake. But then she noticed that Trusha took just small piece and then gave large piece to Rani who started eating it with eagerness. All looked so wrong to Manisha. She wanted to feed Trusha but Trusha was just not ready to eat cake. It was so wrong she wanted to force Trusha to eat things but she was not eating anything. Trusha wanted to eat small piece of cake. Those cake looked so nice and it was looking beautiful. It had nice sweet sort of smell. When those cake looked so nice and lovely, still Trusha couldn't want that cake. Manisha was so upset now. Manisha "Trusha you don't like that cake." " No Mom. It was tasty. But it had chocolate and Doctor told me not to eat chocolate." Manisha felt so shocked. She didn't know any thing about her daughter so Trusha had some medical trouble. Manisha, her Mom didn't know it. It felt so sad from inside. While she was doing her work, her daughter Trusha was sick but she was not informed. After all it would be useless to inform her. She knew that her concern Mahesh must had hidden this from her. He didn't want to tense her. Manisha "What happened to you?" " My skin was getting effected by chocolates. Doctor told me." Rani started laughing loudly and said " Didi always have some Doctor who tell her that she should not eat that thing. She managed to get hurt one way or another. Sometimes it's stomach and sometimes it's some thing else. But one thing is common. She can't eat it." Trusha screamed on top of her lung on Rani "Shut up." Rani stopped talking. Manisha felt that something was wrong. She could sensed that Rani was telling truth. She decided to give it a try. She decided to offer Pizza to Trusha. Manisha "What about Pizza?" Trusha screamed on her " Will you stop harassing me? First you just went out for some social work. We had to do all work. But then one day you come back and start bossing on me. It is not fair. You are so selfish..."She started abusing Manisha for carelessness towards them. Then finally Trusha said that she was not hungry and went inside room.
        Manisha started crying. She never expected such a outburst from Trusha. She did her best but she tried to create proper limits in life for each things. But things were not working for her. But then Rani came near her and hugged her. Rani "Mom don't cry. It was not your mistake. Didi was never sick. She just never want to eat." "Why?" "She wanted to impress a boy." "A boy??!!" "First promise me Mom that you will not tell this to any one." "I promise." "Actually Didi was interested in Piyush. Every thing was perfect. Didi was happy until Piyush started looking at other girls. Piyush got attracted to other girl and Didi as so upset about it. She never accept it but she was so scared from heart that Piyush would break up with her. She was so upset and tense by this. She wanted to remain slim so that she looked better than other girls. She was not slim like Barbie and she wanted to become. " "But why? Do you feel that Piyush wanted a slim girl? " "No. I feel that Piyush was not that type of boy who will remain stuck with one girl. He wanted different girl on every point. " "But this way it would hurt her health. She had to stop it. " " I know even Dad tried to convince her but she is not ready. She was reducing her weight too much and too fast. Once Dad even took her to Doctor..."Then suddenly Rani stopped talking. Manisha "What is it Rani? Tell me. Please tell me. What did Doctor told you?" Rani looked confused as well as scared. But Manisha started insisting. Then Rani looked confused. Finally Rani gave up. Rani " Doctor told Dad and Trusha that Trusha have to visit psychiatrist." "Who told you that? " Once again Rani started avoiding eyes. Manisha "Come on Rani confess it." Rani looked around as if some one would come to her rescue but when she sensed that she had to answer. She finally told Manisha " I have heard it when I was listening by standing behind door." "Rani!! Since when you develop this habit." "Sorry Mom. But I sensed something was wrong and Dad was not telling it to me so I can't able to control my curiosity. So I just started to listen. Dad was trying to convince Didi that she must visit psychiatrist but Didi screamed on him. Then she locked herself in toilet and kept crying for whole time until finally Dad gave up. Dad told her that he would not insist. Even after saying this she didn't come out immediately. Dad was so tense that Didi would harm herself. He promised her that he would never ask her." Manisha was so shocked. Manisha " My god Mahesh didn't told me. " "But promise one thing to me Mom that you will not tell any one that I have told you." "Don't worry. I will handle it." That day she noticed how much Trusha was eating. She saw that she was starving herself. Manisha knew that she couldn't wait. She had to talk with her husband.
         When Manisha got time with Mahesh, she couldn't able to bring up that issue. Since Mahesh wanted to enjoy some time with her, she was not able to bring that subject before him. She decided that she should try to convince Trusha. She tried to make every thing which Trusha loved. But it seemed that Trusha didn't like those things any more. She tired to talk with Trusha about Trusha's personal life. But Trusha was not even ready to say one word. It all seemed so much wrong. Trusha wanted to do every thing in right way. But it seemed that Trusha was doing all in wrong way. She wanted to look perfect but as days went ahead. Trusha started looking more and more weak. Manisha was so scared from heart. She knew that it would just make matter worst. Then one day Trusha came home while crying. Manisha tried to talk to her but she was not ready to listen. By then she was looking so weak that Manisha sensed that she must had to do something. Finally Manisha talked with Mahesh who just repeated all things already told to her by Rani. Mahesh "I tried so hard. In fact I have given her injection of tonics to keep her healthy. Whatever colour you see on her face was just due to those tonics." "But this is so wrong. We have to take her to psychiatrist." "I know and I have never objected this. It was Trusha who was not ready. I have even told her that I would hide it from every one even you." "What?" "Yes. I felt that she wanted to show you that she was perfect without you." "But why?" "I feel she hated that you went there instead of staying here." "But at that time she agreed." "But then as soon as responsibilities started coming on her shoulders. She began to hate it. Rani was far more cooperative than Trusha. Trusha was always pain in neck." "I think we need a psychiatrist. ""I just say that I wanted to do it for long time. But she is not ready." "Then we have to force her." "But how?" Manisha was so confused about that way. But slowly things turned worst for Trusha. She fell sick. Doctor started insisting on medicines and she was forced to take tonics. But still Trusha was not eating properly. Manisha was trying to convince her so hard. But nothing seemed to work on her. Trusha started to act in worst way on each day. Trusha was no longer interested in talking with any one. Trusha just used to talk on mobile with some one for hours. One day finally Manisha's fear turned out to be true. Trusha bought Piyush with her. Piyush was worst choice for Trusha. In fact Piyush was worst for any girl. It was clearly written on his face that he just cared for money. Mahesh and Manisha tried to convince her. But nothing seemed to work. Finally Trusha got married to him.
       Slowly as days when ahead Manisha started to sensing that Trusha was eating less and less. Manisha tried to convince her but nothing was working. Trusha was always upset about Piyush who was no more interested in her. Trusha had to admit in hospital again and again for many times. Each time Doctor tried to convince her that she must visit psychiatrist. But she never agreed. One day Manisha went to that psychiatrist and told him every thing. Psychiatrist "Your daughter is suffering from Anorexia Nervosa. If she didn't eat she could suffer from depression. It happened because she was involved with wrong man who treated woman just like some object. You were also not with her at that time so you can't explain it all to her. Any way even if you were there on that time, I feel it would have hardly made any difference because  I feel that she was already involved even before any family member know. This Piyush must be clever man." "Yes and she is not listening to me. What should I do?" "Can I tell you one thing?" "Yes Doctor." "She is your daughter but you can't change her destiny. If she decides that she would not get help then you can't help her." Manisha didn't agree with that. She and Mahesh tried hard to do every thing. They kept giving Trusha tonics and kept trying to convince her that she must eat. But nothing was working. Trusha was eating so less that they felt even a small child ate more than her. It was so worst. They just kept trying. Slowly Trusha's weight kept dropping. They tried every thing. But they just couldn't force her to eat. Manisha was hoping that Trusha might get pregnant and  that would solve her problem. But it never happened. But in case of Trusha every thing turned in wrong way. Trusha didn't become pregnant due to her underweight. They tried so hard to convince her to go and visit psychiatrist but nothing worked. Finally one day Trusha got pneumonia and she died due it since her weakness. Manisha was watching all by her eyes. But she couldn't able to do any thing. She felt as if she was once again in that education camp where she wanted to educate and help those girls but she couldn't able to do any thing. One thing was proved to her when her daughter Trusha died. You couldn't change someone's future until that person didn't decide it. It might be some backward village or it might be some modern city. Person could die due to ignorance and some times those who called themselves literate and educated hardly seemed to have developed thinking. She felt that those poor village girls who were trying to study even while having adverse circumstances were going to had far better future that her daughter. Because just having education was not enough. We need to learn that how did we supposed to use it for our good in life.
                                                                 The End