Saturday, December 30, 2017

Adventure story 325. Perfectionist

                                                                     Perfectionist
Ayesha was placing every thing in order when she heard loud scream. She ran towards window. It was an accident. She could clearly see person in blood. It was horrible. That person seemed to hurt in worst way. His one leg was missing. It was just horrible. She began to feel so upset. It was horrible. She didn't want to see that man but she couldn't avoid seeing him. Then suddenly many member from office staff started coming towards window. She decided that she must get inside. She immediately pushed her way inside. She began to feel so uneasy. She started to feel as if she couldn't breathe. It was strange. Such thing had never happened to her. She was always normal. But today she was feeling so strange. She started to feel so breathless. She decided that she should go in window. She went to window which was on exact back side. She was so frustrated. She wanted some fresh air. Nothing was working the way she wanted. It was confusing her in every day. She wanted a peaceful life with rich husband. She managed to get rich husband but her life was not too peaceful. She supposed to sit in that empty house all day. She knew that she supposed to entertain herself and it was not duty of her husband. But still it managed to frustrate her. She wanted a happy life. But she just got a life of rich woman. Her education was okay so she decided to do a job to entertain herself. But that job was too low by status of her husband. At beginning Prakash objected. She still remembered that day like yesterday. She smiled and told him " I got job." Prakash looked upset. " Why did you need a job?" " To entertain myself. I can't sit in this home for entire life. Can I? " " But other ladies did same thing?" " No they keep themselves busy with many things like kids but our kids are in hostel. I hardly needed to do any thing for them. Even when they were here their many things were done by babysitter only." " Then you could have done then. I mean you said that you needed a babysitter." "Yes since I didn't have experience. Now why are we discussing past?" " Since you are bringing it all up now." " No I just want to take some job and you don't want me to do any job." " No..no I don't mean that you can do job. I just felt it is too low for our status. But you can do it if you wish to do. You know me very well I don't object any thing. It is your choice." " Of course. You don't have time to pay attention to me that it is my version of incidence. Is it okay with you too?" Prakash looked very confused. She was so irritated. He always kept looking at her in same confused way. He never understand any thing about her. It was so frustrating. She tried so hard to explain but he just didn't understand her thinking. Prakash " I am sorry. I don't want to hurt you. You can do that job." Then he returned back to his work. He never discussed and never argued. Sometimes she desired even for an argument between them. But he never raised voice on her. But he never called her with affection too. She wanted some emotion from him. She sat near him. " What do you feel about my working in your office?" Prakash suddenly began to look scared. Prakash " You can do whatever job you want but don't try to enter in my office." She was so shocked and hurt. She just went out of room. She hoped that he would follow her but he didn't. Since he was not insulting her, he was just telling her a practical thing. Prakash was such practical man that emotions were not his strong point. He always managed to tell truth in ruthless way which was always horrible for her. She sensed one thing that she was most stupid woman in his eyes and he didn't want to her to enter in his office. She sensed one thing that she was just useless show piece in his eyes. It was shocking to her in beginning but now she started to sense it. She wanted to go out of that house so she took this job. She liked to make friends in this office. But she always found herself alone in corner. Those staff members knew each other very well. She was only one who was new so they didn't want to share any thing with her. It was frustrating for her. But still she decided that she should manage to get her friends if she tried harder. But until now she was alone in office. She was not friend of any one and it was frustrating for her. She decided that she must needed to make to prove Prakash that she was not alone. She needed her strength and she decided that she would use it from her heart. She started telling herself that she could did it that she could make friends in that office.
      Ayesha went in other window. She started to breathe properly. She was so tense but slowly that air managed to relax her. She began to feel so peaceful. She smiled. She knew that it was just fear of moment and she was glad that it was finally over. She went in office. But she became upset when she sensed that every one was talking about that accident. They seemed to know that person. It was more scary. Since they were discussing about his family, it was really sad story. Ayesha began to feel so sick. She started to have strange feeling. She was so scared that some one might come near her and she would vomit before that person. She hated such things. She always wanted to act perfect before all. She even tried her best to hide her fear. But then soon she sensed that no one was watching her and they didn't care about her. She was not that much important in their eyes. They just cared about their own world. She never existed in their world. Then she slowly started to think. She began to count people in life. Soon she sensed that she was existed in no one's world. She was alone in crowd of people. She wanted to fight all obstacles and find one friend. But she didn't manage any thing. She decided that she might just sit near them. She felt that if she sat with them then they would start talking with her soon. She went near them. No one paid attention to her. She took chair and sat. No one even looked at her. But then she felt that they were busy in discussing accident. So she decided that she might ask them some question. " Did you know that man?" But they didn't answer her. Since they were so busy in talking. Then she asked it to woman who was sitting near her. " Did you know that man?" That woman " Actually he was our old customer. He used to come here then he changed his shop." " Ohh." That woman took her 'ohh' in wrong way. " We don't care about it. We don't wish any thing bad for those people who left us. We want every one to be happy." Ayesha nodded. She never said any bad word but still that woman turned every thing in wrong way. She didn't understand how did this conversation went to this stage. Every one was looking at her with strange expression as if she was going to be blamed. " I was not saying any thing bad about him. I just wished good for him." Another man " Sure. We all wish good for him. But we must not mention that he left our company this way. It seemed as if we are against him." Every one nodded. Ayehsa nodded too. But she sensed one thing that she must keep her mouth shut. Then time of lunch was over. They came back to work. She was glad about it. She wanted to stay out of that talk. She wanted to make friends but she was not managing it. She sensed one thing that today she managed to damage her reputation. She didn't know how to impress people. She returned to her work. She did every thing in perfect way. When her work was over, her Boss appreciated her same way as he did every day. She was an best example for any employee in office in eyes of her Boss. Her Boss was always happy with her work. He kept telling it to every one. She did every thing in exact way. She always kept things in proper way. Her desk was always perfect. She never let her files get confused. This perfection was soul of life. She never let it vanish. She always kept her every thing on place. She was so happy when her Boss admired her that skill. She knew that no one admired her this way. She was perfect in school and college. She was considered gem for that perfectness. But in her house just no one cared about her perfectness. In fact her maids kept getting frustrated due to her perfection. They just wanted to hurry up in their work but she kept telling them to do it again in perfect way. Many times she even fired maids. But still she never found a perfect one. Still some maids managed to stay in her house. They were settled since they did every thing as per her order. But her family never cared for it. She wanted some appreciation and she was getting it in this office. Then when Boss admired her, she looked around. Soon she sensed that she was making more enemies than friends. But she knew that she couldn't quit her perfectionism. It was her soul. She had to keep every thing perfect. It was her only specialty. She couldn't quit it. She smiled and ignored other people's anger. But somewhere in her heart she started to feel tense again. She wanted happiness but she didn't know way to get it. But she knew one thing that she needed to keep every thing in perfect way. She wanted to be something worthy and her perfection made her something important. She was so happy when she was valued due to that perfection. She knew that if she kept every thing perfect then she would be always admired by every Boss. She started arranging every thing in proper way again.
     When Ayesha returned home, she started looking around her house. She sensed that her maids were not enough. Every thing was not on perfect place. She started looking around. Soon she sensed that her house was far away from perfection. Then she understood why did Prakash didn't value her. She never looked at her house with view to give perfect to it. She just let her maids handle everything inside house until now. She needed to give personal attention to it. She needed to find everything which was wrong. She started looking at her curtain and color of her walls. She sensed that something was missing. She needed to make it perfect. She needed to make that combination which would look great. She went on internet and started searching for different combination for it. She began to see many interesting curtains but she sensed one thing that she needed to change her color first. But she needed it to be perfect too. She began to feel so upset. She was not sure who would paint it perfect without defect. She was so tense. But then she thought that she just needed to get it done. If there was some mistake then she could hide it with frame. She called Prakash " Prakash I want to change color of house." " What? " " I want to do interior." " Honey you know me. I never object any project regarding house. I just want to remain boss in office. In house you can do as you wish." " Of course. You are hardly inside house." Prakash laughed and said " Totally right. I hardly had any time to spend in house. " She felt so hurt. Prakash was so easily claiming that he was not spending time in house at all. She wanted to scream on him. But then suddenly some one started calling him. Then he said " Bye. You can call any one you want to redecorate your house." He just wanted to return to his official work. He didn't wanted to distracted by other things. She was so frustrated then she started looking in her house. Soon she sensed that she had limited time and she needed to work on both fronts. She needed to work in house as well as in office. She started searching for suitable colors. She managed to find a interior decorator. She talked with him. She told him that she wanted it to be perfect. He agreed. Then she returned to her work. She started to do it in perfect way too. She needed it to achieve perfection. Then her maid came. Ayesha " Kanta we are plan to paint from tomorrow." " Paint? But your painting is good." " But it is not matching to curtain. It needed to be perfect." Kanta looked so confused. But she nodded. Kanta thought that it was matter of rich people who had lot of money to waste. Kanta " Okay Madam I will come early." " Great." " But Madam you will be gone to work who will take care of this interior." Ayesha felt so upset now. She never thought about it. She totally forgot about her office work. She decided that she might take leave from office for some days. But then she felt that this way her Boss might decide to fire her. He might sense imperfection in her. She was so confused when she remembered her Mom. She could call her Mom. She started calling her Mom. Mom took mobile after at least ten missed call. " Mom I want you to stay with me." Mom " Sure. I always come to help you. But what happened this time?" " I want to do interior." Her Mom heard it carefully. " But Ayesha I am not as perfect as you." " It's alright Mom. I just want that painting to be done." Mom " Well then I will come." Ayesha was so happy. She managed every thing. From next day her Mom came in her home. Prakash saw her Mom. He greeted her and went in his room. Prakash never cared much about guests. Mom " When did this man learn to talk with people who are relatives?!!" " Let him go Mom. He is not interested even in talking with his wife." Her Mom started laughing. Mom felt it was joke. But sadly it was not joke for Ayesha. Prakash truly didn't care for her. Her Mom looked confused when she didn't laugh.Then her Mom started talking about interior. She started to explain her. She wanted color to be right. She knew that painter would not paint as perfect as she wished but still needed to paint. She told all to her Mom who kept it in her mind. Mom always did every thing in right way. She knew that her Mom was not that perfect but she was lot better than other people. She knew that she had to adjust but she had to go in office too. She started arranging every thing. She needed to get ready for her office too. She was so frustrated. She kept all her things in proper order. She managed to get ready for office. Then she started to get for interior. She wanted him to come as soon as possible. She needed to get proper sleep before going to office. She needed to be alert. She began to wait for her. Then her mobile rang that interior decorator told her that he couldn't come today. She was so frustrated. But then she accepted it with smile. She knew that she needed to do it. She had to become perfect.  She started arranging all. Her Mom entered in her room on that point. Mom " Where is Prakash?" " In study room he is working." " Still? He kept working like that all time." She nodded. " You must be feeling lonely. Kids were gone and you are alone in house." " Mom I am fine." She started arranging. Mom " So I will sleep in guest room." " No need Mom. Prakash will sleep in study room only." " Why? Because of me?" " No..no..Mom he did it always. He wanted to work." Her Mom looked shocked. Mom " You are living strange sort of life." " I know Mom but this is my life and I am adjusted in it." She knew that she was lying. She still hoped for better in her soul.
      When Ayesha woke up next day, she started getting ready. She looked around her house. She hoped that it would become perfect soon. She felt that if it became perfect then Prakash would notice her. She started looking around. She decided that she needed improvement on many places but then she had to go to office too. That day when she reached to office, she started arranging files. She managed to get them properly. Then she ordered a cup of tea for her. When peon came with tea, he started to give it. She was busy in arranging those files. She suddenly stood up and all hot tea fall on her. She didn't even cared for burns. She just sensed one thing that it was falling on files. She started to remove files. Suddenly peon started screaming. All staff came. One lady started insisting that they must go to restroom. When they reached there, Ayesha removed her top. She was shocked to see burn marks. They were so horrible. She started to feel so imperfect. She couldn't let her body have marks liked that. She didn't care for pains. She just wanted those marks to be removed. She knew that she was totally imperfect now. She tried to remove them but that lady stopped her. " What are you doing? You are making them worst. Don't rub like that. You need to apply lotion. They will go away slowly. Or may be you should see Doctor? A lady Doctor?" That lady was confused. She wanted to help Ayesha but she didn't know way to help her. It was so strange. She never thought that she would become so imperfect while trying to become perfect in life. She needed to get rid of that mark. She started to destroy it but her skin started to get more red. She began to feel so frustrated. She just didn't understand how did she supposed to hide that mark. It was getting worst step by step. She didn't want to show it to any one. That lady screamed " Stop rubbing like that or you will bleed." Ayesha couldn't stop it. She kept rubbing it. Finally she started even to sense that it was increasing. Ayesha " I need to get rid of this." That lady went out and started telling every one about Ayesha. Ayesha knew that she had to stop this. She kept rubbing that spot. The lady who went in to help Ayesha was Priti. Priti was shivering with fear when she came out. Pritit " Something was totally wrong with Ayesha. She is rubbing that burn and can't stop." " But why?" " It must be itching." " That is horrible." " We must call Doctor." They started searching for Doctor. One person also searched on Peon " From where did you got that tea?" " From regular tea shop Sir." " Go and ask him. Did he put something inside it? We might need to call cops too. It might be poisoning." That poen ran away and came back with that tea seller. Tea seller " I don't put anything in it except ginger but I put it in tea every day." Priti " It is possible that she develop even allergy of it." " Allergy of Ginger?" " Yes. It is possible. Allergy of any thing is possible." Tea seller " Let me go Sir. I will give you my number and address too." They took it. By that time they called ambulance. Ayesha just kept rubbing herself. When she heard voice of ambulance, she became nervous. She looked at wound, It was full of blood now. She did every thing in wrong way. Her perfection suddenly shattered. She started crying and screaming. Then every one started banging on door. She had to open it. They looked at her and immediately took her with them. She was admitted to hospital. Whole time she just kept trying to rub that wound or cover it. When she came inside hospital, Doctor asked " What happened? Is it itching?" " No it is paining." Everyone gave sad look. Doctor " It is going to pain if you scratch it like that. If it was itching then you should have applied something to it." Doctor took her inside. Slowly Doctor sensed that it was not itching. Then suddenly her Mom appeared. She sensed people from office must had called her. Doctor " Why did you rub it like that?" " Because it was ugly. Doctor I want every thing to become perfect." Doctor looked shocked and confused. Doctor told Ayesha's Mom to come out. Doctor " I think your Daughter need psychiatric help." " What? But she was perfect yesterday." " She kept pretending that she is perfect but it is not truth." " I don't understand." " She is not fine. You can sense it. Look at her attitude. She rubbed her wound. I know she need psychiatrist. If you say yes then I will call him." Her Mom was confused but then she nodded. " I just want my daughter to be fine. Do whatever needed for it." Doctor smiled and nodded. Then her Mom called Prakash who was shocked to heard this. He told her that he would come as soon as possible. Then Doctor gave medicine to Ayesha with which she went to sleep. It was hard day for her. She was crying since she was no longer perfect. She had to be perfect to survive it life. But nothing seemed to be working the way she wanted.  She was so frustrated. She didn't want to sleep. She kept feeling sleepy but she kept waking up in hope that everything would be perfect around her. But it was hospital and it was not perfect.
    Doctor was watching Ayesha carefully. He turned to her Mom. " Look at her. She is not sleeping even after taking such strong injection for sleep. It will forcing her to sleep but she kept waking up. She must be having some strange sort of dream." Her Mom looked so nervous. " Don't worry. After sometime medicine force her to sleep. But we can't force her to sleep like this every day. I hope you understand what I am leading to." Then suddenly Prakash entered in hospital. Prakash " What happened?" He was looking so nervous. It was clear that his world was shattered. Doctor " Did you have any trouble in marriage?" " No." Her Mom " He hardly have time for wife." Prakash looked so upset. " I was working hard for her only. We needed money to survive." " Really but how could she survive without any human being around her? She didn't married to you for money. She wanted your company too." " Sorry Mom. But I never sense it. She never told me." " You never had time to listen to her." " Mom you can't blame me for everything. I can't change what I am. I tried hard to make myself suitable for her. But I can't change." Then suddenly another Doctor came. " Shh talk in low voice this is hospital." Prakash just stopped talking. Doctor " I told you to talk in slow voice not to stop talking. Tell me your side while your wife is sleeping." Doctor smiled. First Doctor introduced him " This is psychiatrist Bhushan." They greeted each other. Prakash " Doctor I am introvert by nature. I am not talkative. I just never understand way to express myself. I tried hard to make myself clear to Ayesha but still I kept missing my points." Psychiatrist " It is not your mistake. It is mistake of situation. No use of blaming each other. She is in depression but we can handle it. First I need to help you to understand each other. But I am shocked you manage you so many years of life without understanding each other not bad." He smiled again. Then he looked at Ayesha " She was scratching to make herself perfect just for you. She wanted to please you and you wanted to earn money and statue just to give comfort to her. You both need to understand it. That you both love each other. You might not able to spend time with each other but it was not because you want to avoid her." " No..no Doctor not at all. In fact I was planning a big vacation after completion of project." " What about kids?" " They are in hostel." "Why did you send them to hostel?" " I thought it would reduce burden on her and they will get good education." " Totally wrong decision by you. What did your kids feel? are they happy in hostel?" " I don't know." " May be I need to talk with your kids? Can I do that now?" Prakash nodded. " Tell them I am their Uncle not Doctor." Prakash nodded.  He called in hostel. It took some time but finally their daughter came on phone. " Hello.." Her voice was clearly angry and upset. Doctor took phone. " Hello actually I am your Uncle. I have just came from abroad. Your Mom was telling you want to come back. I can get one seat for you. Are you interested?" Suddenly daughter started laughing, " I am so glad finally Mom did it. I was waiting for so long time. I can't live in perfect way as this hostel demand. They kept screaming on me. I want to return home." Doctor smiled. " Don't worry. I will do it." Then younger daughter came on phone. Doctor repeated same words. Daughter sounded shocked. " I am not interested in coming back. Don't force me. I am happy here." " No..No I was asking just because your sister said she want to come." " I know. She didn't have group of friend. She had her problem but I want to stay here." " Fine. You can stay." She sounded satisfied. Doctor " Your elder daughter looked upset by perfection of hostel while younger want to stay there. I feel Ayesha's problem is coming due to it. She wanted her daughter back." Prakash " I can do that. But I thought it will help her." Doctor " I don't think it is helping her or your wife. Younger one like hostel life. Elder want to stay with family. Both style of education are great. You must let them choose." Prakash nodded. When Ayesha woke up, Psychiatrist talked with her. At beginning she seemed upset. After giving treatment and medicine she returned home. Her counselling started. When she understood her elder daughter was going to come back next year, her problem was reduced remarkably. She began to sense that she might not needed to get perfect. Then one day psychiatrist explained daughters problem of their Mom. He did it in such way that they accepted it willingly. Ayesha needed to take proper treatment but when her daughter returned home, she began to feel better. It started to work for her. She resigned from office. But every one from office asked about her in nice way. She sensed that they never hated her. She lied. She told them that it was Allergy of medicine she took in morning. They all looked happy. They started taking tea from tea seller again. Every thing came back to same track. Boss liked Ayesha's perfection so he gave her part time job. Now she started coming back home after half day. She was happy with her life since she accepted that she was not perfect and nobody was perfect in world. She was happy with her imperfection since she accepted it. But she couldn't stop herself from cracking joke when some one talk about perfection. She told them that she scratched herself since she thought that burn was imperfect on her body. They all laughed. No body sensed truth in it. She also started to join laugh since she knew that no one would believe that she had such problem.
                                                                    The End

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