Saturday, February 7, 2015

Adventure story 175. The choice in life

                                                         The choice in life
Neha knew that she had to adjust with things. But she just hoped that things would be little bit better for her. She just thought about her past. In her college she remembered. There was many opportunities in her life. When she used to move around corridors, she used to watch boys with full attention. But she used to hide it on every time. She placed her glasses in such a way that every one would feel that she was reading. She sat there and watch. She used to see many boys who were perfectly dressed and acting with full style. She never noticed some boys who had violent nature. But she didn't even felt scared about them like other girls. She just wanted some one rich and stylish. Every one thought that she would like some one scholar like her. But her choice was never that one she wanted some one every stylish and rich. But she never let her thought came out. She remembered when once she told this to her Mom. She laughed on her with full heart and said "Neha with that look you can hardly get that type of husband. It is impossible for you." Then her Mom noticed her tears and controlled herself. Her Mom "Neha look and dressing style is not important. What you really need is boy of kind heart and simple. You don't a prince but you need boy with heart of prince. You will find that wonderful boy. We will search him for you. We are your parents. It is our duty. Don't worry we will do it." Neha was so much hurt. She was normal and simple looking good. But she felt just one thing. She wanted one thing but she couldn't have it. She felt so angry. But no one sensed any thing wrong. After all she got nothing special. She was not topper. She was intelligent but not scholar. In case of look she was simple and cute. She was nice with her simple glasses. She just couldn't ask for more. But her heart she wanted it. She always dreamed of prince charming. But she never found one in life. Since she needed that prince, she just always kept looking at them. But she never dared to trying. She clearly remembered that Akhil who used to look so handsome. But Akhil was not smart enough to score good marks. He used to come to her to collect notes from textbook. He was creating his notes. He was reading book carefully. He started writing notes after studying them carefully. But he never managed to get them in good way. He was writing each word with full care. But her notes were always reaching to perfect height. He sensed it. Then he started asking for notes for her. She began reading every notes. Akhil was reading all those notes and getting marks. Neha was happy to help him. But he never sensed that she was interested in him. For Akhil she was just friend nothing more than that. She knew that if she asked him. Every thing would be destroyed. So she never asked him instead of that she just ignored and finally she married to Rohit who was selected by her parents and rejected by her heart from first sight. She just didn't like him. But she had to adjust.
        But today when Neha saw his dressing style, she was just shocked. He had took out one shirt full of checks for high class party. She thought he would wear some suit or at least Peter England shirts. But he didn't had sense that he was dressing in wrong way. Neha was so upset. She just wished from Rohit should had little bit fashion sense. She looked at herself. She was wearing her proper new glasses of gold frame. She had choose perfect saree which was of high class. She had wasted all her saving of month on it. She knew that Rohit would felt that it was wastage but she felt that it was needed. She dressed in such a decent way that no one could guess her status. But the way Rohit dressed every one could guess that they didn't belong to any sort high class. Neha was so upset. Then Rohit came inside started dressing. Neha "Why are you not wearing suit?"" This one is more comfortable." Neha took out one Peter England shirt. "At least wear this."" Come on look at it's color. This is too light. I hate this cream color. It never suit me."" Come on. This blue checks looks worst. You are looking so down market." Now Rohit was so angry. Neha was insulting him."What?!! How dare you talk like that? I am dressing perfectly. I will wear what I like. Look at yourself. Do you feel just by wearing costly saree and those glasses you like high class woman? No class is in their ways and gestures. You can never complete them. You are nothing and you will remain same." Neha was so shocked to hear this. She looked at mirror. She saw same girl with glasses just little bit stylish. Her dress was looking so good but she was looking so ordinarily. She was looking so normal and ordinary. She was looking normal on every point. Her face was normal. But she felt as if after wearing that dress she looked more ugly on every point. She was so angry that she had one face which was looking ugly. But then she felt that she had to dress in graceful way so at least her dress would look nice to world. She looked like some one who could go to that party and attend it. Neha "How ugly I might look? But still I have class in life. When I dress in high class style party at least I look properly dressed. Look at you. The way you dress.""I always dress in same way. I never cared that much about dressing and I will stay like that only." Neha was inside her heart on verge of tears. She just ran to outside. She started convincing her on every point that she looked so much great on each point, she looked so nice, she dressed in lovely way, she was looking beautiful. She began to dress in graceful way. She was dressed in perfect way in party. She was so much sure that she decided to dress properly. She had to dress in expensive way. She started creating dress in enchanting way. She looked so nice in that dress.That dress was so lovely and delicate. She wanted to dress in nice way. But Rohit always discouraged her. She just wished only she was little bit good looking.
          That day in party Neha was so irritated by every thing. In all those high class people she hardly able to talk. Rohit was just drinking and eating in corner. She wished from heart only if he introduced her to some guests. After all he got invitation of that party. He must had knew some of people from that party. But still he kept just sitting in corner and eating starter.She went to him. Neha "Introduce me to people.""Whom? They can hardly recognize me. They are not even interested in talking to me. They will hardly interested in you. ""But still I want to be introduced." Neha said with anger. She just hated Rohit from heart for his lack of ambition. He never showed any interest in any ambition. Those ambitions looked useless to him. "Okay." Then he started eating that starter in fast speed. She just hated his way of eating. On every point she began to hate every thing. They did in life. She just hated even looking at Rohit. She just didn't understand that why did she married to him. She was no longer interested in meeting any one. Neha "I will go to home." Rohit with mouth full food "But you wanted to meet people?" "No. I am no longer interested in it.""But we have to eat food." "I just remembered one important work. I have to go home. You can come later." "Come on. Give some time. I will eat dinner. Then we can go home." Rohit said it in such loud voice that she sensed every one must had heard it. She had to say 'yes' . Then Rohit went to take food. She also joined him. But she was feeling so unwell that she hardly managed to eat dinner. She just kept moving food in plate. She acted same way since her college from inside college. She always used to sit in corner where she would use to look at those boys specially Akhil. Now she felt same way. She wanted to make friendship with those high class ladies but she knew that she just couldn't manage to do that. She felt that she was some one from low class. She didn't deserve it. She felt so much sad from heart. She just kept moving spoon in food. While Rohit was eating so much that she was sure that he was going to face problem in stomach on that night. She just hated his every thing , his habit of eating, drinking. Just every thing! She was just so much furious about every thing. She wanted to feel anger from inside. She felt that she lost many things just due her inferior looks. She wanted to get them all but she knew that she couldn't. She just couldn't able to eat. She threw away all her food. She was no longer hungry. She felt so sad that she wasted so much food. She felt that next time she might not take that much food. She never liked to waste food. She decided in heart that she never took so much food. Then Rohit asked " Why are you not eating? ""Because I am not feeling well." "Ohh!! But you want to go for some work.."" But I am sick so now I will sleep. Come on. Have you finished your dinner?"" Yes. But what about dessert don't you want them? They are tasty..""Let's go home. I am sick." Rohit wanted to eat but still he nodded. They went back home. Neha slept on bed whole time. Rohit was looking inside again and again.
         Rohit was so upset about this. He just didn't understand that what was wrong with Neha. She was screaming on him every time. At beginning of their marriage every thing was right but then slowly Neha started complaining about every thing. She just hate every thing. She hated his house and his work. Every thing was worst in her eyes. He just didn't understood that why did she married him if she hated him and his life style. He had never hidden anything. He was honest from beginning. But she just kept agreeing with every thought from beginning. She felt that some thing was wrong on every point now. He was so upset by this. Until now he kept adjusting, but today she was not even ready to stay with her in party. He decided that he had to take advice. He had to understand what was going on in Neha's mind. Then he thought that Neha's Mom was better person. But he just felt so awkward from inside. He just couldn't chat with his mother-in-law like that. He hoped from inside that Neha would be fine on tomorrow. He felt that he would not able to sleep but he was so tired that he felt asleep as soon as he fell on bed. But Neha was just pretending that she was sleeping. She just wanted to avoid chatting with Rohit. She just hoped that on tomorrow he would not insist on visiting doctor. She did want to visit one. She just wanted to sleep. But there was not any sleep in her destiny. She felt that she was in worst situation of life. She married to a man whom she just hated. It was worst thing for her. Whole night she just felt so sleepless. She just went out in hall and kept taking rounds. She never suffered this way. She was feeling so hurt from inside. Her mind had disturbed feeling on every point. She just couldn't able to sleep peacefully. She knew one thing that she would not able to sleep. It was happening with her again and again. Now a day she was feeling as if her life was senseless. She felt as if she wanted to finish her life. She just wished that she had not quit her job. But it was too far away. She had to quit it. Any way in her heart she clearly remembered when she resigned she was just one who didn't got promotion. She could clearly saw that her job prospects were not that much good. Since she didn't able to handle people that good. She was so scared to deal with people. She never went ahead by herself because her appearance didn't seem good to people. But whenever paper work was required, she always did double duty. She was having hard time in understanding that why did she never even appreciated at her work. It was all so hard for her. She never liked any where.
         Rohit noticed next day. Neha's eyes were red. He was sure that she was not sleeping. She made breakfast for her family. Every one sat on table plates where arranged such a way. That he could able to eat every thing. But it all were kept away from Neha. She was so upset even by smell of that food. She just didn't want even to see food. But she kept cooking food. She had to make food for Rohit. Rohit" You are not eating food." "No I am not hungry. " "But you didn't eaten any thing on last night?" "I just don't feel hungry." "But you can't starve yourself like that. You are killing yourself step by step. Just stop it. At beginning you seem so willingly to marry me and now you just hate me. If you have so dislike about me then why did you marry me? " Neha screamed "I don't want to discuss. My head is paining. Just eat your breakfast and go." "Now you can't order me like that I am not some pet dog who eat food and go away." "Rohit will you stop this." "Sure but first tell me that why did you marry me?" "Because I was forced. I never liked to you but I was not interested in job and I need to settle that's why I married to you." Rohit was so shocked. He just ran threw away every thing. He went out of house in anger. Neha started crying. She did every thing in wrong way. She had hurt Rohit. She didn't want to destroy her married life. After all Rohit was that man who cared for her. He did every thing to make her happy but she abused him. She felt as if she was just a curse for every one. She just wanted to get rid of her life. She looked at kitchen knife. She went to cut her hand but then she suddenly felt that if she did something like that she would put Rohit in more trouble. Police would blame Rohit for her death. After all he never harmed her. She suddenly felt that she didn't hate him. She liked him. In fact she married him because she loved him. But then slowly she started feeling this way. She was so confused. She took phone and called her Mom. She told her all. She was so panic now. She sensed that she hurt Rohit too much. She just kept calling him. Finally he came home at night. Rohit "Do you want divorce? ""Rohit it is not like that I just get depressed. " Then Rohit noticed that her mother-in-law was also sitting there. Neha's Mom " She is acting this way since many years for some days she was perfect like at beginning of marriage. The suddenly she began to get depressed. She never stopped eating and sleeping this way. This time she went too far." Rohit "But why? " "I don't know." Neha was crying. Rohit "May be we have to show her to psychiatrist? My friend have advice me today when he saw Neha at party." Neha agreed. Then Rohit took her to psychiatrist who talked with Neha in details. Psychiatrist told Rohit "She is suffering from Dysthymic Disorder. This happened due to inferiority complex regarding her look in her since her childhood. Every time she kept compromising instead of trying for best thing. She never tried and she feel pain due to it. " "So she don't like me." "That is not problem. She just don't like any thing she have this is her thinking process. We need to change it. We will do it. She love you. " Neha looked at psychiatrist and thanked him from heart because when they talked Rohit was outside so he didn't know about Akhil. Neha's real choice. Psychiatrist didn't tell it to Rohit after all he wanted to cure Neha. He didn't want to create new patient in Rohit who was happy to hear that his wife Neha loved him. Sometimes some truth were better to be hidden. When Rohit went out with Neha happily since he knew that every thing would be fine after treatment in their life. It was perfect thing for her life.
                                                                   The End
        

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