Saturday, August 5, 2017

Adventure story 304. Fears in mind

                                                                  Fears in mind
Wind was moving with strength it was touching window panel again and again it's voice was scaring Tina so much. She looked around. Whole room was totally dark due to rainy weather. Her room was turning totally dark on that day. She just hated this house. She knew that it was her house. She supposed to like it. She needed to understand that she had to stay inside it. But still her heart kept going back to her hostel. All girls in her hostel used to get home sick. They used to cry while talking to their parents on phone. But she never got home sick. She was always admired by all for her courage. Tina used to tell them that she felt sad but she was not little girl so she would never cry for her parents. But she knew that now she wanted to cry for her teachers. She wanted to go back to her hostel. She loved that hostel. Other girls felt that it was a cage. But for her it was nice place to study and relax. She felt that she was doing great. She felt that she could adjust in her home in no time. But it didn't turn out in right way. She was feeling so bored. Her Mom was busy in her own commitment. She managed to make lot of friends who started a group which kept doing something. Tina started to looking around. She sensed one thing. She was getting tired in home. Her father was busy on computer and her Mom was busy with friends. She never sensed that during her time in hostel she was totally replaced by some other activities. She sensed that she needed to have her own life. She started to create different things which might interest her. She began to sense that it was not working. At beginning when she came, they planned a big party. It was big welcome for her. She enjoyed it. Every one acted with her in best way. It looked totally promising. She enjoyed that day. But even during that day she sensed that people were just chatting with her for limited time. They were just interested in basic talk. They all came to chat with her just because she was cause of invitation otherwise no one was interested in her. Some came there for dancing and some came for eating. Some even came for chatting but not with her. They were interested in other people. It was so frustrating. In her hostel she had identity. But here she was nothing but a show piece. She decided that she might give start to her career. But nothing seemed to be working. She tried many people who could help her but every one just turned back on her. So her career was also going down step by step. She wanted to prove herself something but no one was helping her in that process. In hostel she used to plan many things with friends. Sometimes they won and sometimes they lost but they at least managed to try. But now she was just sitting in home. She didn't got any one to encourage her. She just went ahead every day alone. She kept sitting in her room whole time. She was so upset. She decided that she might watch outside from window. She started watching rain from window. It was looking wonderful on every point. She began to feel new hope in that rain. She was getting wet with rain drops but still she didn't want to close window. She kept remembering her hostel with them. Suddenly her hostel became alive in her mind. She began to imagine her life in there. She started to laughing with her memories. She suddenly began to sense that she was inside those memories again. She started that dance which once danced with her friends. She began to feel so happy about it. She didn't stop dancing with those dancing moves her life started to look so easy. She just began to forget all. It was wonderful. Then she suddenly heard her Mom's voice. She was calling her for lunch. She went to lunch. She went in hall. She was smiling today. Even her cook noticed her change. Cook " So Tina what is good news?" " Nothing I was practicing my dance steps." " Dance steps? But you should be studying. I mean now you are planning to get married soon and people don't like girls who dance." Tina was suddenly so confused. She wanted to marry decent man. She knew that if she started dancing, other people would not like her. Tina " I was just dancing for entertainment." " But honey. You must spend your time for some things which will give different meaning to life. You need to learn useful things like cooking or you can take some course for job. Don't waste time like that." Tina nodded. Tina started looking around kitchen. She felt that she might like cooking too. Tina " Can you teach me cooking?" Her Cook smiled. " Sure. But now I have to go for next work. But those people were going away on vacation on next week. I will teach you at that time." Tina smiled " Great." " But why did you want to learn from me? You can learn it on TV show also." Tina was so happy. She took name of that show and decided that she would search in on internet. This way she could stop it from time to time to understand it. Tina was so happy. She decided that she would become cook instead of searching for job. She smiled happily and ate her lunch. Then she ran in her room.
  Tina started searching for video. Finally she found many videos of that show. She started looking at them. She started to make list of things she needed. She began to make list of things which she needed . She started to create budget soon she sensed that she needed more money. She went in room where Mom was sitting. " Mom will you give me money?" " For what?" Tina was so upset. She had to explain everything in details. She was trying something new and her Mom didn't understand name of most of ingredients. She had to keep explaining each one and it's price. She just had to spend so much time on it. She started to get irritated. " Mom are you going to give me money? or I just need to ignore?" " No..no sweetheart I want to give. I was just curious about your new dish. I love to taste it." Tina smiled. She took money and then she went in market. She started searching for items. She found that finding all items was not easy. She had to work hard to find them. She just wished only if she had some super market near by but it was far away. Finally she found every thing. Then she came home. She just relaxed on sofa for few moments then she started cooking. It was so hard. She had to watch video again and again to do it right. But soon she sensed that it was not looking as they showed in video. That cook was expert and she was not. She was so angry. She just wanted to throw away every thing. When her Mom came, she took taste. She stopped her. " It is not that bad. You just need few changes." Then her Mom did those changes. After that Tina took taste it was great. So she needed more sugar and salt. She sensed one thing that she was not that good at cooking. But her Mom smiled. Mom " It was great. You just need to taste it and then understand how much sugar and salt is needed." " But it was not the way which look great as it looked on Television." " Come on. Those are expert cook and you are not even cooking regularly." " So you feel I will get better." " Yes. I will teach you every day." Tina started laughing happily. From that day Tina started cooking with her Mom regularly. She was glad that her Mom was spending some time with her. But then one day her Mom came in kitchen. " Tina I am going out on picnic with my friends tomorrow. Do you like to join?" Tina was so sad. She wanted to spend some time with Mom in her house. But it seemed that her Mom was not happy in staying in home. Mom " I know you want to learn cooking so I bought this." It was a advertisement of cooking class. She knew that she was not interested in it but then her Mom started insisting. She began to feel that she might get new friends in her class. Tina " Where is that class?" Mom smiled happily. She started telling her about class. She nodded and decided that she must go out now. It was most tense day for her. Since she didn't want to go in that unknown place, she wanted to stay home. She didn't understand since when she began to feel fear about going to other place. She was one who used to enjoy staying in hostel. She was now not interested in going out. She was scared. But then she controlled herself. She told herself that she would do great. From that time when her Mom gave her information of class, she began to feel restless. She began to sense that she was going to get sick. She knew that she had to go to that class. But her head started to get heavy. She called her Mom. Tina " Mom I am feeling sick." Her Mom was shocked. She started checking her fever. Mom " You don't have fever but if you are feeling sick then you must take rest." " But what about class? I will miss this batch. " " We can go to some other class." Tina nodded and went to sleep. She started to feel relax. She began to sense that she could feel better after some time. Then when she woke up, she felt lot better. She looked at watch. She managed to sleep for long time. It was next day morning. She just wake up for dinner. She stood up. She started to take bath. She knew that she was feeling good now so she could go to class. She started to wear dress and decided to do little bit make-up. She started looking at her in mirror. She began to notice her face was no longer nice as it used to be. She began to have dark circles under her eyes. She started to look older and she was even started getting fat. She was fat and pale. It seemed as if she was eating totally wrong food. She was eating fatty food but not healthy one. She was so confused. She sensed one thing something was wrong with her and she must go to that class. If she wanted to become normal again, she started to get ready for going to that cooking class. It was not class for her now. It was her test that proves she was just like her old self didn't change a bit. She managed to dress in best way and smiled at herself in mirror to encourage her soul. Then she went out in hall to tell her Mom that she was ready.
     Tina's Mom Rashmi was confused. Tina was never so nervous minded. But today she sensed one thing that her daughter was scared to go in that class. She still remembered that day when she sent her daughter to hostel. Tina was not scared at all. She was happy. Tina was excited about it. She didn't need to convince her. Tina wanted to go there. Tina said that her friend convinced her. She never showed any fear in visiting new place. She was so small but still she was so comfortable. She didn't cry. She asked many things which she needed there. But she was happy. She was jumping with joy regarding making new friends. She was so happy. It was nothing like today. She was excited about every new thing. She was small kid but she was so brave. Every one admired her. Rashmi felt so upset on that point. She wanted her daughter to miss her. But Tina never missed her. She always went ahead with her life happily. Tina used to call from hostel but only with joy. It seemed as if she never missed her mother. She was not perfect Mom but she was loving Mom. Rashmi never understood why did Tina never got attached with her. But she sensed one thing that Tina just didn't want to stay with her. She kept pointing it to her husband Tarun. But Tarun was not impressed by her view. Tarun " Do you want to keep your daughter just under your thumb?" " No I don't want that. But she just didn't seem attach to me so I felt her." " This is your ego." Then Tarun turned to Tina. Tarun " You are brave girl. Take this doll." It was that doll for which Tina used to ask again and again in every shop. Rashmi wanted to buy it but Tarun objected. She still remembered his word. " You are spoiling her." So he didn't permit her to give doll. Now he was giving it. Rashmi sensed that this way he would become hero before her daughter but then somewhere in her heart she sensed one thing that Tarun was using his position perfectly. She didn't have money which she had earned. From that day she started trying to earn but soon after chatting with her friends she sensed that earning was not related to respect. It was nature of person. Then Tina went to hostel. Every year when Tina came to visit her but she never showed interest in any thing. Tina just kept going to some tour with them. In those tour she just kept enjoying ride and scenery. She hardly had moment to chat with Rashmi so Rashmi started to feel depression. Many times she even thought about killing herself. One day she shared her this worst thought with her brother. Her brother was shocked. Brother " Such things happen to many men and women at their middle age when kids left them and they started to feel alone. You need to engage yourself in something. Why don't you start hobby?" She nodded. She tried many hobbies. But nothing worked. Even her favorite hobby of singing didn't help her much. She just kept feeling unhappy. Soon she started to feel pain in her head, she didn't want to discuss with Tarun. She knew that he would just keep taunting her about it. She talked with her brother who took her to Doctor. She didn't let her husband knew about it. She just kept hiding entire matter. Finally Doctor suggested a psychiatrist. She was shocked. She was not mad. That was her first thought but step by step her brother convinced her. She finally went to psychiatrist. It helped her a lot then she began to do social work with her friends in orphanage. Slowly those little kids began to occupy empty place of her heart. Tarun kept taunting her but it didn't matter to her any more. When Tina came back, she felt that Tina would manage her life in her own way. But when Tina came back, she just kept staying in her room. Now Rashmi sensed that her daughter needed her help. She decided that she must pay attention to her. Rashmi called her friend and told her that she couldn't come on trip. Her friend agreed willingly since she knew situation of Tina. Rashmi smiled happily when Tina came out. Rashmi " Tina I am not going on trip. I feel we need to spend some time together." Tina smiled. Until now Tina wanted attention from Mom, but now she suddenly began to feel scared. Tina " No Mom. I am just fine." " I know you are fine but I want to stay with you. Do you mind if I stay with you? I like to learn few things of cooking with you too." Tina " I don't want you to follow me. I am not kid. I am fine." After saying this Tina went out in anger. But then she suddenly sensed that she wanted her Mom's attention but she did totally wrong thing. She was so confused. She didn't understand what did she want. Then she decided that she must go in that class before it became too late so she took auto for destination. But she kept feeling strange fear. She never felt this way. This was something totally new for her. She was so confused. She just kept looking at building of her cooking class.
     Rashmi was silent watching all. She didn't came before Tina. But she decided that she could follow her. She wanted to become part of her daughter's life but not by force. She sensed one thing that Tina wanted her company this time. But when Tina rejected her offer. She felt hurt. She was so angry at her suggestion that she was treating her like kid. She was just spending some time with her since she wanted bond between mother and daughter. But her daughter took it in totally wrong way and it was hurting her soul. She felt so sad. She decided that she might go to trip. But when she called her friend Charu, she heard it all. Charu " Trust me. Something is wrong with your daughter." " I don't understand what are you telling me?" " I am telling you that she is trying to hide something." " Really? But why you feel like that?" " My daughter did same thing when her teeth start to pain and she didn't want to go to dentist. " Rashmi started laughing. " I am not joking. This is serious issue. She had strange phobia of dentist. She started shaking so much. Mostly Doctor gave her anesthesia before starting treatment. You can't do anything in mouth of a person who didn't stop shaking." " But you know Tina. She loved hostel. She never had phobia of new place. I mean a girl who stayed away from parents for such long time. She couldn't have phobia regarding going to a new cooking class. I mean this is too much in my view. " " I know this seem like nonsense but I feel it is truth. Tina had fear of joining new class." " But this is impossible."" I know but sometimes fear enter in strange way. On that place where we least expect it. I just tell you one story to explain only if you have time. "" Well I am not going on trip as per your suggestion and my daughter is not interested in going out with me so I have lot of free time to waste. " Charu looked nervous. " If you want to come with us, you can. I will arrange room and every thing and if you don't get room, you can share my room." Rashmi started laughing. " I was just joking. I know I need to do something about Tina." " Then follow her." " Follow her? Following grown up daughter like that look like crime. She would never forgive me if she found out what I am doing." " And you would never forgive yourself if she had problem and you don't treat it so it is up to you what you decide." On that moment she decided that she was going to follow Tina. She felt so much guilt but still she was sitting inside car while watching Tina. Tina kept looking at class. Then Tina started shivering. Rashmi was watching her. She soon saw before her eyes Tina started to look white. She started to look so pale. She was looking like sick girl. She started to look like some one who was sick for long time. Rashmi was watching it all with shock. Tina was so confused. She wanted to go inside building. Tina started going inside that building. She felt so emotional. She could no longer sensed her route. She began to sense whole world around her moving. She began to fall on ground. She couldn't able to stand since whole world was moving. She started to fell. She knew that ground was full of dirt. She even saw worst dirt on ground. She didn't want to fall in it. But she couldn't stop herself. She fall in it. She tried to stop herself from breathing but soon pain became worst than smell. Then she suddenly heard her Mom's voice. Rashmi was watching it all. She tried to move ahead as fast as possible. But she was too late. Tina was already fallen on ground. She came there with water. But she sensed that it was useless. She looked around. People were gathering around her. She knew that she needed to help now. She had to take her daughter in car. Rashmi " Will you help me to pick her up?" Many people started to move ahead. No one wanted to touch that dirt. Then few people agreed to help her. They started taking her up. One man " Madam you need to wash her little bit before putting her in car or car will be destroyed?" " I don't care for my car. My daughter is more important to me." That man nodded. Then they put her inside car. Rashmi immediately called her family Doctor. He told her about hospital. She did just as he said. When she went with her in hospital, hospital staff looked confused. Since they felt that it was accident case but then she told truth. Doctor started attending her without inquiry regarding vehicle. Doctor " My god her blood pressure is too high." They immediately shifted her to ICU. Then Rashmi came to her sensed and she called Tarun, Tarun started screaming on her for taking decision without his permission. He started telling that he was the one who paying so he must be informed. Rashmi listened to him. Until now she never answered to him but this time it was too much. She started cursing him. She told him to go to hell. She said that she would pay with her jewelry for bills. Then she just switched off her mobile. Soon family Doctor came, she decided that she had pretended enough so she told everything to Doctor. Doctor " He will have to pay otherwise you can file compliant against him even with Police." She was shocked to hear this. She was so glad at least Doctor was standing with her. Doctor " She is just like my daughter and don't worry Tarun would not dare to say one word before me." After some time Tarun came, he behaved in best manners with Doctor but it didn't change view of Doctor. Any one could see anger in eyes of Doctor. Rashmi just tried to kept her away from him. She didn't want to stand with him and hear his negative comments. He always kept saying wrong thing about every person. She just wanted peace of her mind. She kept sitting in corner while reading something on mobile.
    Tarun was upset when he sensed that Rashmi was doing everything in her own way. She didn't want her to act like that. She had to stay under his guidance. She didn't want her to get so much freedom. Then Doctor came out. Doctor " Did she tense about something?" Tarun started laughing. Tarun " My God never scared of any thing. But after saying with her Mom she started to feel scared of every thing." Rashmi was so angry now. Rashmi " If you don't want to cooperate you can go out. I want proper treatment for my daughter not your taunts." " Ohh really!! Then tell me stupid woman who is going to pay for those charges of hospital? You can never able to earn any money but you are so good at spending it. Always keep wasting it on your stupid social work and trips. You never understand how much this hospital is going to charge. Do you feel your poor brother can pay for it?" He started laughing. Then suddenly Rashmi remembered that money which her father-in-law kept on her name. Rashmi " I will use that money which your father gave to me." " Are you mad?" " No. I was mad until now. I kept listening every thing you suggested and send my daughter to hostel." " But she loved that hostel and never missed you a bit there." " Then why did she acting in such strange way now? Why did she felt so scared of every new place?" " It happened since she came in contact with you. You are creating worst effect on her." " Ohh really!! Stop lying." Doctor " Will you stop arguing?" After hearing Doctor's anger they both stopped. Tarun " Sorry Doctor this stupid woman do nothing just keep talking tall things. Those just manage to went in my head." Doctor " But I feel my views will agree more with your wife than you." " What?" " She can't feel scared just because she stayed with your wife for few days who is scared of everything. It could have happened if you grew up under her. But she grew up in hostel so she didn't get so influence by her. I think your daughter need psychiatrist." " This is nonsense. I want second opinion." " Go ahead. Call as many Doctors as you wish but finally they will tell you same thing. Her blood pressure increased due to fear so she need psychiatrist." After that Tarun started to call his friend. Rashmi knew that those useless friends were not going to help but still she had to tolerate that nonsense. So he kept calling then his few friends came. They kept talking different things which managed to bring more stressed. Finally family Doctor advised Tarun not to take them inside Tina's room. But Tarun couldn't manage to bring any help then he had to agree with Rashmi. Rashmi called her psychiatrist. He gave appointment of next day. Tarun " How did you know him?" " Well he is friend of my brother." " Really?" Tarun started laughing at her in strange way. She decided that she had enough. Rashmi " Fine. I went to him. Your taunts are destroying my life as well as life of our daughter." Tarun " That coward is not my daughter. I wanted a brave daughter. " " Then get lost. I will take care of her." " By my father's money?" He started smiling strange way. " It is my money which he gave me because I took his good care when you are too busy in your office and in your parties." Tarun " I had enough. I am going home. I want to take rest." " Great bye." Then Tarun went away. Rashmi kept waiting outside. When Rashmi went in Tina's room, she was awake and tense. Tina " I want to be brave Mom." " Tina stop this. This is hurting you." " But Mom I can't act like that. I have to be brave." Rashmi sensed that she was getting excited. Soon nurse entered. " This is time for your medicine." She gave her sleeping pills to relax. Doctor asked about psychiatrist. Rashmi told him every thing. He nodded and went away. Next day psychiatrist came there. Psychiatrist smiled towards Tina. " So what is issue Tina? You were scared of something?" " No. I don't want to be scared of any thing. This is not right." " Who told you that? Feeling scared is basic need of life like walking." " You are lying to make me happy." " No I am not, tomorrow I will bring all books which convince that feeling scared is need of human being. Will you read them?" Tina nodded. But she looked relaxed. Then she started eating normally. After some time Doctor stopped nurse from giving her sleeping pills. Doctor " What do you like?" "To cook." " Tell me truth." " To dance." " Ohh. Then listen to music." She nodded. She started hearing music on mobile. Psychiatrist smiled and came out. Psychiatrist " I feel your daughter have fear of Phobophobia. She is so scared of having phobia that she is getting phobia due to it. And as I told you before your husband is cause of it. But if I manage to handle you then trust me, I will handle your daughter too." " Thanks Doctor." Then her family Doctor came. Family Doctor " I talked with Tarun. He will pay for all but he just wanted to you to keep her away from him. He didn't want her responsibility." Psychiatrist " Now this is my true patient. Your husband need me but he will never come so I will treat you and manage to give strength that tell you ways to handle it." Rashmi smiled. " Thanks Doctor." " You are always welcome and keep smiling since it will increase my patients." Then they all started laughing. Suddenly everything became simple. After all life was not as hard as human thought, it can be easy if human being let themselves act normal and ignore public. While smiling they forgot every thing and just hoped that Tina would be perfect soon.
                                                                               The End

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