Poem 31. I try

                                             I try
When I try to touch the success I have to understand it in all parts
But I feel as if I am trying to run away from shadows which are hurting
Us in each and every part after all in our life we want success so that
No one can taunt us and tell us what is fully wrong with our heart
We think success can shut mouth of many person who hurt our heart
I know some want success just to please their heart but their numbers
are so limited to compared with others who fully want success just
To prove the world that they are winner and king of every heart
When I try to hide from the rain I know I am running from childhood
Because as child if I can't get sick by getting wet in rain how can I get
Sick by getting wet in rain in my adulthood after all adult is far more
Strong that small innocent child so how can I get sick by getting wet in rain now
But some where in my heart I feel I have my own fears and I just don't
Want to act like child because it will look odd to world but I can understand
That we run and dance in rain due to this but when we get adult
Even small drop of rain began to harm us as well as began to tease
Just when by some drops in rain we began to get wet then we feel
That getting wet is worst thing which may happen to us without any base
So instead of feeling childhood near our heart we just prefer to run
And instead of feeling child inside us we like to act like adult on every spot
So when I hide from rain I know I am trying to hide from childhood
When I try to stop myself from laughing I know I am running away from freedom
Because each person have right to laugh when that one wish for fun
But some times some people takes a laugh as if we are trying to insult
When we laugh on some thing else they turn it into their personal insult
When we laugh in loud voice we think some thing nice but people laugh on us
They make fun of our voice and we try to stop our self from laughing for fun
I know at that moment I am willingly surrendering my freedom to totally wrong person
When I try to sleep peacefully I know I am working too hard
That's why I want the sleep and peace from tension which I have
I know that I have worked enough and success is not in my hand and
Now even if people blame me it is not at all my fault because what I thought
Was just my views and those are just my feeling I don't work that hard
In whole world and it's views after all if I have already work hard
All else is not in my hand I can't win each and every thing which
I never like to expect but people never accept that I work so hard
So I try to sleep peacefully without thinking about them and with thought
That I tried my best in my life and I work as hard as I can
When I try to pray to god I know I must have to do good deeds
After all praying is not enough we must learn to do good deeds
God don't want me just to pray god want me to keep helping heart
God wishes that I must do good but some times even doing good becomes hard
Because when I try to pray I just concentrate on it because I have some doubts
What is truly right in this world and what is totally wrong part of all
But I don't know one thing when I know everything why did I try?
When I know success can be just mine why I try to prove the world?
When I know I can't get sick why I try to hide from rain?
And when I know I work hard why can't I sleep peacefully?
And these are mostly those question which never let pray peacefully from heart
After all if I know all those faults then why I can't just cure them instead of just giving try?