Carefully spoken words
Ravi was carefully calculating his every word. He was so scared that he might say something wrong & everything would go against him. His wife Lara began to look carefully towards him. He knew that even his parents were watching him in same way. He knew that he was wrong. He tried always to act carefully. He smiled nervously & asked “I need to do some work for my office. I like to use one room.” His parents gave him angry look. He immediately felt nervous. It was clear that they didn’t want to give room to him. He was working hard but still he was not earning enough. His dad said “I earned so much & everything is on my income. I want you to sense it & act accordingly.” Ravi nodded nervously. Ravi sensed that he couldn’t work in house. They were not planning to give room to him. He turned to go back when Lara declared “Remember one thing. You don’t need to visit my relatives. They might have big houses but they don’t belong to you.” He felt so ashamed. His life was not moving in right way. He always kept getting in troubles. He was trying so hard to earn more. Last time he planned to invest in one business but he couldn't find much capital. All his partners were his friends but they already made it clear that they needed everyone to bring money. It would have looked odd to demand loan. Still, he tried to demand it. But no one gave him anything. So, he didn’t become part of that deal. He still felt sad about it. He wanted to prove himself but it was not working. He didn’t manage to enter in that business. His office earnings were nothing. He felt so sad. He needed to work for it he needed some privacy. He began to feel so hopeless. He didn’t understand what he supposed to do. He needed some money to start business which he never got now he needed some place to keep work to at least get some increments but it was impossible too. Life was turning in completely wrong way. He was feeling so negative. He didn’t say anything. Since he could see everyone in that room was against him. They all felt that he was useless person. He began to get so negative. He needed some help but he didn’t dare to ask for it. His parents immediately began to abuse him. His father told him long ago that he needed to manage all on his own. He was trying it his best. But he knew one thing that he couldn’t manage without backup. He needed help. His all friends got help & he was only one without it. But he didn’t dare to mention it. He knew that all would just blame him. He was wrong in their eyes. They didn’t understand his problems at all.
Lara was watching Ravi carefully. She
was so happy when he got nervous. She never wanted to marry him but she was
stuck in this unwanted marriage. Lara wanted to marry her friend from office.
They used to go for lunch every day. They had group but they used to sit on
separate table. It was different. It was not just her view that they were in
love entire office staff felt same way. But he never proposed her. Then one day
he distributed his wedding invitation. She was also invited. She accepted it with
smile. She looked in his eyes for sign of guilty. She couldn’t see any. It was
clear that she was loving him one sided. She smiled. She didn’t even confess.
She pretended that she never loved him. But after that Lara didn’t see much
option for her marriage. Most of the people knew about Lara & friend of her
office. He got married but she couldn’t able to find anyone after him. They all
kept taunting about him. Finally, she found Ravi. Ravi was just one stupid man
in her view. He married her without question. He always obeyed everyone. She
didn’t like him at all. But her parents wanted her to get married. Everyone was
talking about her. She needed to just find one husband & she married Ravi.
But she hated him. She never wanted to be with him. When Ravi’s parents taunted
him, she felt so happy. She wanted to humiliate him. She never wanted to marry
him still since he agreed to marry her parents forced her to marry him. He was
worst person for her. She didn’t want that compromise but her life forced her.
She felt so sad. She began to think in different ways about her future. She was so nervous. Even today after her
marriage she remembered that day when she said yes to Ravi. Ravi was happy but
she was sad. Ravi noticed it but he decided to ignore. He was so selfish. His
attitude was so self-centered. He had chosen to ignore her feelings & she
was going to make him pay for it in his entire life. They were married for two
years. But she still didn’t want child. She needed want to become mother. She
was so suffocated. She noticed that he was panicking about his work. She wanted
him to panic. She wanted him to cry. She was observing. She noticed that he was
upset. She knew that after sometime there would be tears in his eyes. She was
happy by thinking about it. She just hated him. She kept looking towards him
carefully.
Ravi was so nervous. He was walking
very carefully. He could sense that Lara was watching him. He didn’t understand
why. He didn’t do anything to upset her. He tried his best to keep her happy.
He knew that she was not so happy when they got married. But he felt slowly she
would start loving him. He loved Lara & Lara’s father was such pleasant
man. He could get lots of help from him. Even today Lara’s father helped him in
every way. Lara was telling him to not visit her parents but he knew that her parents
always admired him. But now she told him not to go so he couldn’t. Then he
remembered that key of empty bungalow given by his grandfather. It was one
small house. It clearly needed lots of painting & interior but he never
spent anything on it. It was his house so his father never took any interest in
keeping it perfect. He decided to go there. He smiled happily. He slowly took
out his small bag & took some of his essential things for work. He smiled
& told Lara “I will go in that old house of Grandfather & work.” Lara
smiled happily. She didn’t want to spend time with him so this was great
arrangement. But she pretended to look frustrated & told to her “As you
wish!” Ravi nodded & went away. He noticed one thing that no one minded.
They were not interested in keeping him inside house. He just went out. He
slowly started to walking towards that old house. It was not far away. He could
easily walk. He went there. He began to work. Lara was happy at beginning. She
felt that she would feel relief. But she didn’t. Slowly that room started to
scare her. She began to different shapes of shadows on wall. She looked away
from those walls. She slowly woke up again. She decided that she might needed
to watch something on Laptop. She didn’t have TV in her room. She began to
think that she needed to demand it from Ravi or she needed to ask it from her
parents. She knew that her parent loved Ravi so much that they were always
ready to reduce his financial burdens. She immediately called her mom. Her mom
listened to her then slowly asked “Why Ravi is not in room?” She didn’t say
anything. Then she slowly began to explain all. Her mom “What about visiting
counsellor?” “Mom! I can’t able to sleep just on one night!” “One night! You
are complaining about it again & again. Then you are not ready to become mother. There is issue...” Lara didn’t say anything. Lara sensed first time
that this was her problem. She couldn’t get her old boyfriend back & she
was not moving over him. She started to blame Ravi again. She began to tell her
mom but her mom stopped her. Mom said in peaceful voice “Think about this! You
need to help.” Lara disconnected call. But now shadow on wall began to dance
more. She started to shiver & cry. She didn’t dare to say anything to Ravi
but she took appointment of Psychiatrist. She was so scared. Then she waited
for her number. She was feeling so tense. Finally, she went inside. She told
all to Psychiatrist step by step. Then she asked “Do you feel my marriage is
problem?” “No. Your first breakup is problem. You need to get over it.” She
nodded. After that her treatment started. At beginning she was hiding it from
Ravi. Then finally one day Ravi asked her angrily since he heard that she was
going in some building again & again. She needed to confess. But Ravi took
it positively. Slowly with support to each other they started their life once
again after counselling. This time it worked properly. They began to love each
other & they even shifted in that old house. Lara did interior with help of
her parents. It was new start for them. After that they started together on
every up & down of life. Now Ravi never needed to spoke carefully he just
express his feelings & Lara always gave her suggestions. They laughed &
argued together but they never spoke carefully with restrictions.
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