Heena's weight loss
Heena was counting her days on calendar. Just one day was remaining. She had given last paper on that day. She was so excited about going out to her village. She was so happy that finally she had time to visit her grandparents. She was so excited about it. She wanted to enjoy her life & only her grandparents permitted her. She couldn’t feel happy when she was staying in hostel. She didn’t hate hostel. She enjoyed it too. But it was just about studies. She wanted to enjoy normal life too. She always felt stuck. But with her grandparents she was free like birds. She was so excited to stay with them. She was counting her days when a girl told her that matron was calling her. She ran but then she stopped. She didn’t want to make noise so she walked slowly. Matron looked towards her immediately when she entered in room. Matron “ There is bad news for you. You grandfather is in hospital so your Dad is coming. Luckily your examination is over so I can permit you to go home. Soon your Dad will come. Pack your bags. Some one will come & inform you when your Dad will come.” She nodded & ran to her room. She was living in one room with three girls. It was problematic at first for her since she never lived without her parents. She was so attached to her Mom but her Mom wanted her to go to hostel. It was not about her education actually her Mom wanted to start her job too. Her Mom needed to start her career too. Her Dad also felt that her Mom needed to do job. She was only one who disliked going away. But when she came to hostel soon she liked it. Her roommates were nice too. They were not best friends but they were good. They talked nicely when she needed help. Actually no one was talkative between them. All wanted to follow their own hobby. Her hobby was sports so she always stayed out of her room. She talked nicely with her roommates but she hardly had time for them. She always loved sports. She couldn’t live without games. She hated staying inside. Of course she gave equal importance to education so whenever she came in her room. She always began to study. She knew that her roommate didn’t mind. None of them wanted to other to interfere. They lived in one room but they lived separate lives. She knew that even today her roommates just needed to be told that she was going. It was a formality. She told her roommates “ My grandfather is sick so I am going.” All three expressed sorrows & prayed that her grandfather would be okay soon. That’s all. Then she packed her stuff. Suddenly a girl came she declared that Matron send her to tell that her father was waiting at door. She packed her luggage. She went towards gate. Her Dad was waiting in car. She pulled her bags & went towards car. She was hoping that Dad would help her to load luggage in car but soon she sensed that it was not going to happen. She went towards car herself & began to load luggage. She felt so sad. She was expecting some happiness & excitement from her Dad. But it was clear. He didn’t care. Then she thought that it was because her grandfather was sick. She controlled her emotions. She set her luggage in car & sat in car. Her Dad immediately started car & began to talk “ Now you need to come home.” It was truly irritating for her. She didn’t want to discuss staying at home negatively. She felt her Mom missed her so her Mom would be waiting for her. Her Mom permitted her to stay with grandparents just because they were old & lonely. She never thought her Mom would dislike her. But her Dad kept talking “ That hostel was great relief for us. You can stay there happily & we can manage at house too. Really, I don’t understand why did they give vacations?! It is just waste of time. It would be better if you just stay in those hostels only..” she didn’t feel pleased by this. Suddenly she began to feel that those hostel friends were lot better than others in family. Hostel staff or teacher didn’t treat her as if she was unwanted but in her house her Dad already declared her unwanted. It was frustrating. She knew that she couldn’t stay in hostel permanently. She needed her own house. But she didn’t manage to get any house. It was so upsetting. On some point she wished that she could earn enough to get one nice house. It would be her own house. She wanted to enjoy life which give freedom in her life. Her Dad never cared for her. But then she began to think about her grandfather. It was important for her. She slowly asked “ Is my grandfather okay?” Her Dad gave sad look to her. Then he smiled sweetly. He said “ Your grandfather is too old. You are big enough to understand that at this age he will die. If we try to save him. It will be wastage of resources. People are saying there are young people who deserve those things. We can’t save old man with those resources.” She felt so sad. She couldn’t understand it. But she sensed that her grandfather couldn’t be saved. She felt so upset. She just nodded. She kept listening to some music until she didn’t reach to hospital. When she went there, she saw her grandmother was crying in corner. Her grandmother wanted to save her grandfather but she knew that it was not possible. She sat beside her grandmother. Her grandmother gave her one angry look & asked “ Why you came alone?” Her grandmother was expecting her cousins & her Uncle & her Auntie too. She knew that they were her favourite but she couldn’t bring them. Heena “ I don’t know. I just came from hostel.” “ I need to call them both. Your Dad is not ready to give further treatment. He didn’t want to waste money on his father.” “ No, Grandma that’s not true. Doctors were suggesting to stop it.” Her grandmother gave her angry look. Her grandmother “ He is lying. He didn’t want to spend money.” Then her grandmother went away. Soon Doctor came out. Doctor told them. Her grandfather was going in Coma. She was so sad. She looked towards her grandmother. Grandmother just said “ I want to take him home. Can you arrange?” Doctor nodded. One thing was clear to Heena that she was no longer welcomed in that house. Still she stood with grandmother for sometime. Then slowly grandmother turned towards her. She hugged her with affection & said in her ear “ It was not your mistake. We will never blame you.” Then her grandmother turned back & went away. Heena didn’t say anything. She just stood there.
Heena’s Mom was busy with her work. When Heena came she was not at home. But her Dad was staying in home. It was clear that he didn’t needed to go to hospital but still he used it as excuse to come & sleep at home. Heena was so frustrated when he came inside house with her. Then he told her “ I am sleeping if any one called tell them I spend my entire night at hospital so I am too tired. Frankly those useless brother & sister don’t have any right to call me. They never come to help & always kept finding some defect in whatever I did.” Her Dad went in his room. She was so tense. She didn’t want to answer her Uncle or Auntie. She knew if she said something wrong her Dad would immediately object it. She knew that her Uncle & Auntie would call. She wanted to avoid it. Then she thought one idea. “ Dad I am taking bathe.” Her Dad nodded. “ You must. I will take wash too.” Then he went in his room. She went to take shower. She began to feel so uneasy. Her entire body was shivering. She was watching her face in mirror. She was looking so old. She knew that she stayed in hostel for sometime. She knew that she was still in school. She needed to attend college then she needed to find..she suddenly began to feel so uncertain about future. She began to start plans of her life. She started to feel positive. But then when she looked towards her face, she sensed that she was looking odd. Her eyes started to look so tired. She looked towards her body. She clearly lost too much weight. She decided to change in her bathrobe. She was shocked when she saw that it looked like cloth hanged on some hanger. She didn’t look nice. She wanted to look great but she was looking so weak. She started to brush her hair. But she sensed that her hair were suffering too. She had lots of hair fall. It was so shocking. She knew that she never lost so much weight. She thought in hostel that she lost little bit but now it seemed that it was too much. She kept watching towards herself. She decided that she needed to apply little bit make up. She opened cupboard. Slowly she began to take out her cosmetics. She needed to apply them carefully. She wanted to hide pale look of her face. She needed to keep telling herself everything was okay. Suddenly her mobile rang. She looked towards it. She totally forgot that she had her own mobile. Her Mom gifted it but she didn’t took it in hostel. She didn’t want disturbance. Actually she didn’t want to have any contact with her family so she disconnected it. She wanted to return in her hostel. She didn’t took that call. She started crying. She began to cry so loudly. She was watching herself in mirror at same time while crying. She didn’t want to look like that. She wanted to look nice & pleasant. It was so upsetting. She could see her bones on her shoulder. She felt as if she was just skeleton. She didn’t seem to have any fat on her body. She began to touch her body. She sensed that she needed to eat. She ran towards cupboard. She started trying her clothes. Nothing was fitting her. She sensed that they all belonged to her last size. It was double. She was so upset. She kept searching finally she took out one dress. Then she literally ran in kitchen. She opened refrigerator for food. She looked around. It was almost without food which she could eat. She sensed that she needed to order food. She began to call hotels. Then she started to order foods. She didn’t calculated how much she had ordered. She decided that she would store it. She had big refrigerator. She stored all food step by step eat it. She waited. It seemed like hours before finally it started coming. She paid for it all. Then one by one she started putting it. She smiled happily when entire refrigerator was filled. Her Dad came from behind. He looked shocked when he saw all stuff she had bought. She felt nervous. But he didn’t argue. Instead he just opened one bottle & started eating. It became clear to her that he wanted that stuff too. She smiled happily. Then she began to eat that stuff too. She started to decide what she supposed to eat. She didn’t understand what she wanted to eat. Suddenly every item she bought seemed like something wrong. She told herself to relax. She just closed her eyes & counted numbers. Then slowly she opened them. She told herself that she was hungry. She smiled & watched food. She just shivered. She knew that she loved it. On that point her Dad suddenly talked loudly from behind. “ How much you wasted on this?! I am glad I didn’t waste money on your grandfather. He was dying anyway & now I needed to feed you so I need money.” She looked towards food & she didn’t want it anymore. She couldn’t able to see her grandfather’s face for sometime even in her mind. Then suddenly it came before her. Once he was healthy. He was so funny. They all used to love him. They all used to all to please him & he used to shower love on entire family. She looked towards food & she sensed that she didn’t want it any more. She started going away. Her Dad screamed “ Why you are not eating idiot? You order it all. You need to finish it. Your Mom didn’t taught you any manners.” She wanted to answer back but if she did. Then she knew that he would create further issue. She didn’t want to argue with him. She knew that she was not earning money so she was dependent on him. She didn’t say anything. She just ran out of house. Then she suddenly remembered her mobile. She went inside & took it. She didn’t want her Dad to see anything on her mobile. She didn’t have any secret but still she had few friends. She didn’t want her Dad to see their list. She went inside took mobile & went out. She totally forgot about her Auntie’s call. She decided that she would go in garden & sat. She took purse mobile & literally ran out of her house. She was feeling so nervous. She wanted to happiness. But she couldn’t get it. She kept feeling sick in her mind. She smiled happily since she wanted to feel it. She forced happiness on her. She was doing it for long time. She needed to adjust. She wanted her Mom to stay at home but her Mom needed career so she needed to adjust. She began to hate her Mom.
Suddenly Heena’s mobile rang. Heena slowly took call. It was her Auntie. Auntie was clearly not happy about treatment that her grandfather received. She asked angrily “ Why did your father stopped treatment of grandfather?” She didn’t say anything. Heena said slowly “ Actually Doctor told that we must not. It is wastage of money.” Her Auntie started abusing. Her Auntie “ If you got sick do you feel same way?” She didn’t say anything. Heena didn’t want to feel sick. She felt so scared even by thought. Heena said slowly “ This is what Dad said. I can’t stop him.” “ Really? Then you need to become more brave. Your Mom doesn’t have any time to waste on family. She is always busy in her career. That’s why you can’t progress in your future. You are just stuck in this situation.” Her Auntie was taunting her. Heena was not getting excellent marks but she managed to get okay marks. She didn’t considered herself total failure. She began to feel so sad. Her Dad declared her useless now her Auntie declared same thing. She wanted to cry but she didn’t say anything on mobile. She just said “ I will try to talk to Dad.” Auntie screamed angrily “ No need. I will take care of situation. Some people just come for money in inheritance never come for any responsibility.” Heena felt so sad. Heena “ I try my best to help. Do you feel I need to go & stay?!” “ Of course!” Heena felt so nervous. Auntie “ Do you want to go just for picnics?” “ No..no Auntie!” Heena felt so nervous, Heena “ I will call Grandma.” Auntie said “ Okay.” angrily then she disconnected call. Heena called her Grandma. Before Heena could say anything her Grandma started crying “ Your Grandfather is not breathing!” “ What?!” Then Nurse came on mobile “ Will you give your Mobile to your Father?” “ I am in garden. I will go back..” suddenly Nurse said “ No need. I will call.” After it Heena literally ran back in her house. Her Dad was coming out angrily. Her Dad “ Go & change your clothes. You need to come with me.” Heena agreed. Heena once again changed her clothes. She sensed that they were of double size but she just wore them. She decided to ignore. She ran towards car. Her Dad opened door & took her inside. She felt so tense. She began to tell herself to breathe properly. She needed to relax herself. She kept looking towards mobile. Suddenly her Mom called. Her Mom was on verge of nervous break down. Her Mom said slowly “ I told them I need to go home but they are not permitting.Maybe I need to quit this job. But I am in contract. I need to give notice. Next year I will..” “ Mom No need!” She said angrily. Her Mom was not even showing her face & she had enough. She just disconnected Mom’s call. She reached to her grandparents home. Her Uncle & her Auntie was there. It seemed as if they were not planning to argue with her Dad anymore. It was over. They all planned funeral. Her grandmother was not talking much. But when Heena suggested that she would stay with her. Her Grandmother denied. Her Grandmother said “ I want to remain alone.” They wanted to stay with her Grandmother but she told them all to go away. Lawyer explained will. Grandmother was totally determined to avoid them all. It was upsetting for Heena. After sometime her Mom joined them. Her Mom told her slowly “ I gave notice to quit job.” Heena didn’t feel much pleased. Heena was going back to hostel anyway. Then they all came back. Her Mom told Heena to eat something. Heena didn’t feel hungry. Her Mom thought that it was for just that day. Next morning there was fresh smell of breakfast which Mom created just for her. Heena used to jump for it when she was staying in home instead of hostel. But now she didn’t feel hungry. She didn’t even went in kitchen. She could hear her Dad screaming in admiration. Her Mom finally came in room with breakfast. But Heena didn’t took interest. Finally her Mom said “ Maybe you need to visit Doctor?” Heena wanted to reject this idea but she knew that it was not possible. Heena knew that she was losing her weight. They went to Doctor. Doctor checked her. Doctor began to talk with her. Then Doctor said “ I don’t see any physical problem in her. She is little bit thin. But it’s okay.” “ But Doctor she is not eating.” Doctor looked confused. “ You are not eating since when?” “ Since I came to home. In hostel I was eating.” Doctor looked carefully towards Heena. Then Doctor said “ If you ask me she might need visit to Psychiatrist.” They both felt nervous but they nodded. They took name & number. Her Mom decided that they wouldn’t discuss it with Dad. Heena agreed too. Then after giving few excuses they went out on day of appointment. She was so tense when she was sitting. Her Mom kept patting on her hand to relax her. She tried to smile but she was feeling so tense. When she went inside, Psychiatrist started asking questions. She slowly began to tell. Psychiatrist kept writing things time to time. Finally when this was over, Psychiatrist told her Mom “ This is not about your Job. You can continue with it. This is about Heena’s Dad. Heena is developing Anorexia disorder. In this disorder people started to eat less & less. It is just beginning. She doesn’t have it’s physical effect on her at this moment but slowly it will increase. It is happening since her Dad kept giving stress on her.” She felt so tense. She didn’t want all to be discussed. But Psychiatrist smiled & said “ Discussions will act as cure. You don’t know real trouble until you don’t start to discuss.” Then Heena gave nervous glance to her mother. Her mother smiled & said “ I will sit outside.” Psychiatrist nodded & said “ Sure. In that window you can birds & sky. It looks great.” Mom gave nervous smile & nodded. Mom went out. Then Heena told all to Psychiatrist step by step. Heena began to feel relaxed. When she went home she was feeling more alive. She started searching for some sports classes. Her Mom declared that she was going back to job. Finally her Dad was only one who wanted to stay at home. Heena was feeling stressed but when she started to practice in her society ground, she began to feel normal. Soon she started to get hungry. She didn’t feel so much upset by her Dad’s comments. When she decided to go back in hostel, she was feeling okay. Psychiatrist told her that her treatment was over. She returned to hostel & this time she was different. She didn’t sense when she started chatting with roommates. Soon they became friends & her life became normal. Until now she used to live life now she learnt to enjoy life. Now she was happy everywhere.
The End
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