Rita's shopping
Rita began to calculate what she wanted for her house. She was doing this daily since they got separated. At beginning she used to stay in joint family. She was nice daughter-in-law in her view but she felt that her in-laws might be not happy with her. It was stressful for her. She knew how hard she was trying to adjust but nothing was working in right way for her. She began to feel so upset. She tried hard to please her in-laws. She didn’t want live separate. She needed to stay with them. But they didn’t like her that much. She remembered every day her father-in-law used to ask her husband Subhash when they were going to shift. It was so upsetting to her. She didn’t understand why did they hated her so much. She started to feel so nervous. Subhash kept thinking in different angels. She remembered those days clearly. For hours Subhash used to plan in different way to get money for a house. Subhash didn’t have much money but he had too much pride so he never confessed it. Finally one day when her mother-in-law started to ask about shifting she asked “ Can we stay here?” Her mother-in-law looked towards her with shock. “ Why? I mean it’s not as if we have some special love & affection between each other then why we need to stay together?” She didn’t like the way her mother-in-law putting it. She just decided to keep quiet but her mother-in-law asked in angry voice “ I need my privacy. I want you to live separately just tell me what’s issue?” She said nervously in low voice. “ We don’t have enough money.” Her mother-in-law gave angry look. “ I feel you have not created proper budget. I hope you will create it at least when you get new home. I tell my husband about your financial troubles. He will give you flat.” Her mother-in-law indicating she was giving her a charity. She nodded. She felt so shameful but she had no option. She did wrong budget. She didn’t able to save money for flat. She was sad. But she did everything that suggested by her in-laws. She literally worked like servant. She knew that she needed to do that. That flat was not cheap. But her in-laws gave them two bedroom flat. It was in name of Subhash. She was so happy. She thanked her in-laws. She started to help them daily after this. Even today she went to them every day with tiffin. Subhash kept telling her that she needed to do those few things for her in-laws. She totally agreed to it. She was trying her best to get proper budget now. She knew that other wives earn so they get loan for purchasing house. She couldn’t manage to earn. She was never qualified enough to get good job. She knew that she has not any support in household income. She felt so guilty that she was keeping maid. She didn’t want to keep one. She kept one for some time at beginning then she just fired her maid. It was so upsetting. That maid kept asking for more money but her maid didn’t work properly. It was so odd. She kept working for hours. She was feeling so stressed. She didn’t want to waste her money. She wanted to save it for her future. She didn’t kept any servant. Today she was once again counting her money. She was doing budget. Any way she was trying so hard to manage to create proper sum. She wanted to show Subhash she managed to get properly some sum. She was trying so hard. She knew that it would help her much. After all it was sum saved from Subhash’s earning only. She needed to calculate all items she needed in house then save enough sum to purchase them. It was not going to be much easy. She was so stressed by all. She needed to find some way to prove herself. She was working so hard to get that sum which would help her to get washing machine. She needed one. She felt so exhausted while washing clothes. She got small Washing machine but it required two time use since she needed to wash clothes of her in-laws too. Actually when she gave them food she took their clothes from them. Then she washed & ironed them. Next day she needed to bring back. She had one suitcase with it she always did it. But her washing machine was too small or Subhash threw too much clothes for washing. She didn’t count how many clothes he managed to throw for washing in a day. She didn’t dare to question him. He was exercising so he needed to change his clothes continuously. She needed to understand it. She smiled peacefully. It was so stressful. She wanted to clean those clothes as soon as possible for it she needed big washing machine. She needed to find money for it. It was very important for her. She wanted to save money for it. She calculated hard. Finally she sensed that she needed to use her personal savings too. She kept some money aside for her need. She might like some dress or mobile etc. Subhash didn’t let her purchase costly stuff. She purchased it by keeping some money aside. She felt so frustrated when she needed to use it. She smiled happily. When she finally managed enough money, she couldn’t keep using that washing machine daily twice now with exchange of old machine & wonderful discount. She took her card & her cash both. She was planning to make payments in both ways. She needed to make them properly. She got dressed in perfect way. She was so happy that finally her life was moving in right way. It was so stressful for her. She took purse & called cab for going to mall. She was so excited. Finally Cab came. She checked all windows & turned off everything. Then she went out sat in Cab. She felt as she was some queen. She liked when she could purchase something like that. She could walk around mall. She could watch all. She knew that she was going to waste some money on few luxurious things. But she didn’t mind. She took out all her savings. She needed to purchase things. She wanted to feel happy. She wanted to purchase things from mall which used to make her happy. She was feeling so guilty about them. She entered in mall. She went in supermarket. She knew that she needed to do shopping to relax herself. She didn’t want to spend too much money. But it was necessary for her. She began to feel rich & positive.
Rita was so stressed. She kept feeling so uneasy. She was inside Cab & she started to feel so stressed. She was feeling so much cold due to AC in car but it was making her shiver. Her weather was so much cold. She looked out. There were no chances of rain. But still she felt strange fear. It was so upsetting. She didn’t understand why simple shopping was become so stressful. It was so upsetting. She started to feel that she was doing some crime. She was wasting money. She needed to save all. She went in mall. She started walking around. She was so tempted to buy things. There were so nice branded things. She looked towards them. She went in shop. She checked price. She sensed that it was too high. She decided to forget it. She didn’t want to waste so much money. She remembered words of her mother-in-law. One day she would have kids. She kept thinking. She was always careful in her budget. One day she might had kids. She even kept thinking about them. She felt so upset. She didn’t understand why she needed to wait like that. Since she was scared. That was truth. She couldn’t find courage to go & check. Sometimes she felt that if she had trouble in becoming mother what she would do. She didn’t want to be blamed. She knew that facing Subhash was not easy. It was so stressful. She wanted to feel perfect. But she was not getting pregnant & that was true. It was so upsetting. She told herself that she needed just sometime. She told herself to relax. She came out. She felt so restless. She felt as if someone was following her. She turned behind. No one was there. She smiled & started going in super market to purchase washing machine. She needed it. She was moving ahead. She kept feeling as if someone was following her. It was odd sensation. She felt so restless. She didn’t understand why she kept that way. She went in market. It was full of people. There was large crowd. She knew that if she went in that crowd she would vanish in it. She didn’t want to be alone if someone was following her. She started wandering in market. She kept looking towards display. She wanted to purchase washing machine but still she suddenly began to move towards jewellery store. She started to observe design of jewellery. She kept looking towards diamonds. They were so pretty. She was so enchanted by look. She started to observe design. That store salesman asked “ This is diamond jewellery Madam?! It’s best investment.”She kept thinking about it. Then she slowly said “ Show me that..” she was about to point towards it when suddenly one hand landed strongly on her shoulder. She felt so restless. She looked around. Subhash was standing behind. “ What are you doing?!” She felt so scared. She felt like a criminal who caught red handed. She began to shiver. “ I came to buy washing machine..” “ I know..I know & as always you went ahead with doing inessential purchases. You always waste our money. That’s why we never able to purchase house. We needed to beg before my parents.” She began to feel so nervous. Salesman of shop was observing her in strange way. All inside shop were giving her odd look. They all understood that she was impulsive buyer who was wasting money. She didn’t say anything. Then Subhash said “ Just give me that Credit card. Now I will take care of it.” She nodded. She sensed that now she didn’t have much money for washing machine. She needed to forget it. She began to feel convinced that her idea of purchasing Washing Machine was impulsive action too. She could run her washing machine twice. She kept using it twice. She kept arranging clothes drying. She needed to tie ropes for drying clothes. She felt so glad that he stopped her. She needed to dry all clothes before ironing. She knew that she could do it. She smiled sweetly towards him. He was so upset. She said “ Sorry” in low voice. He said “ It’s alright but you need to value money!” She knew that whenever she went in shop she felt obsessed with shopping. She just wanted to buy something. It was so important for her. She was feeling so frustrated. He took away her credit card. She knew that it was perfect. She deserved it. She went back in home with him. He said to her peacefully. “ I am not blaming you. I understand sometimes woman get carried away.” She knew that he was very angry. Last time he threw flowerpot away. It didn’t hit her but still she was so scared. It was not intended to hit her. He immediately told her. But after that she began to feel strange fear towards him. She didn’t like to oppose him. Now they were living separately. She sometimes felt so lonely when he was around. She knew that he was pointing just her mistakes. But still sometimes she felt as if he was bullying her. She told herself that was not true. She smiled weakly. “ If you keep that Credit card with you surely it will solve your problem.” He smiled happily. He took away all Credit Cards. She nodded happily. She wanted to keep her money safe for her kids. She knew that after sometime she would become pregnant. He went back to his work & she started to wash clothes. She was working so hard. She suddenly began to feel uneasy. She didn’t understand what was wrong with her. She began to feel as if she needed to vomit. She didn’t understand why she suddenly began to feel so sick. She needed to go to Doctor. She looked around. She had her purse. She decided to take it. She went to Doctor. She sat for long time. Finally her number came. Doctor checked her carefully. Then Doctor smiled slowly. “ I feel you might to do pregnancy test.” Then Doctor told her lab. She supposed to feel happy. But she was uneasy. She was saving so much money just for this child. Still she was not happy about it. She gave uneasy smile. Doctor told her “ Don’t get tense. Pregnancy is not so risky thing. You will get over it. Just think about child!” She was thinking about child & she was getting more tense. First time she sensed that she didn’t want to get pregnant at all.
Rita was so stressed. She didn’t go to her house. She went to her parent’s house. She was so happy there. She knew that she married according to her own wish but she felt that her decision was right one. Her parents were not against it since at beginning Subhash seemed okay. They assumed his parents would admire her & treat her like daughter too. But nothing was working the way it should. She controlled all her feelings until now. She knew that she was spending too much. She began to get restless. She started to think what If her parents were thinking same way as Subhash. She knew that she had habit of purchasing too much. She didn’t say anything. She just looked towards her parents. She gave weak smile & said “ I feel I am feeling little sick.” “ Ohh”her Mom immediately checked her forehead for temperature. But she didn’t have any. She smiled sweetly. Then she added dryly “ Doctor said I might be pregnant.” Her parents smiled happily. They were so excited to become grandparents for first time. But she didn’t feel that way. She sensed that something was wrong with her. She needed help. She just wanted to kill herself. It was so odd. She knew that she was moving in wrong way. She controlled her tears & slowly told her Mom “ I don’t understand what I supposed to do Mom. I kept doing shopping.” “ What?” “ Yes Mom I kept doing shopping without cause. Subhash kept getting angry on me. I don’t feel I can become good mother.” She started crying. Her parents started to tell her to calm down. But she couldn’t. “ Mom that marriage is mistake. I don’t want to go back to Subhash. I feel so scared.” Her Dad “ Scared? Did he hit you?!” She turned her head negatively. He threw things around but she didn’t got hurt by them. She felt so scared. She slowly told “ No he didn’t hit me.” Her Mom hugged her & said “ Thank God.” Her Dad “ So what did he do scream on you?” Her Dad was laughing such a way that she knew that he was sending her back. It was so upsetting. She kept getting restless. She knew her parents didn’t understand or they didn’t want to understand. It was so stressful. She tried to smile but she couldn’t. She began to say bye but her Mom stopped her. Mom “ What is need of going away so quickly? You are our only daughter! I want you to stay with us too.” Her Dad laughed & said “ I will tell Subhash.” She didn’t say anything. Her Mom stayed with her entire day. She didn’t say anything at beginning but when she decided to go to sleep her Mom came in room. Mom said “ You are still my little girl so I will sleep with you.” She started crying uncontrollably. Her Mom kept patting her back. She suddenly began to feel strange pain in her stomach. She started crying with pain. Her Mom got scared. She immediately called Doctor. But Rita knew that she was going to lose baby. She took too much stress. They took her to hospital. She went in operation theatre. She didn’t understand anything during whole time but it was odd. She suddenly began to play in school playground with her friend. She was jumping with joy. She was dancing happily around. She was so happy by thought of getting good marks. She got good marks. She was laughing. She was going to buy ice cream. Rita’s parents came in her room after Doctor said that she was okay but child was aborted. Subhash came but he kept screaming on her parents since they didn’t obey him. In angry outbursts he managed to throw hospital equipments. All hospital staff came running. Clearly all were angry. Subhash apologised & agreed to make payment. Then he went to counter. Her parents heard big argument. Suddenly Nurse came near them & said “ Do you feel this man can keep your daughter happy? I feel she had abortion just due to his mental torture.” Her parents felt so guilty. Slowly her Mom told all to Nurse. Nurse “ Can I suggest you something?” They nodded. “ Show your daughter to Psychiatrist. Even if you want to send her back to this husband show her to Psychiatrist that way she would learn to cope up with him.” They nodded. Then next morning her parents called Subhash to tell him that they would keep Rita with them for sometime. Subhash declared. “ No problem. I don’t want her any way.” It was shocking for her parents. But Subhash stopped taking interest in Rita. One day he called her & told “ I stayed with you since I want that flat from parents. Now I got that flat. I want to marry other girl of my choice. You know very well. You were never suitable for man like me.” Rita didn’t argue. She just said “ Okay.” “ I will send Divorce paper.” “ Okay.” She didn’t told anyone anything. Finally when paper came her parents knew about it. They called lawyer. But by then Subhash once again started discussing patch up. Rita was just hiding in room. She was not normal. Her parents started to insisting on Divorce. During all this her mental treatment was forgotten. Finally one day her Mom remembered that Nurse. Her Mom called her & told all. Nurse arranged appointment. Rita went to Psychiatrist. Her Mom was not expecting quick result. But on that day Rita came out first time to eat with her Mom. She didn’t laugh or acted normal but she at least came out. Slowly Rita began to go out too. One day Subhash came. Subhash “ Come back.” She gave odd smile & said “ Well I am not interested in giving you baby find someone else.” Then she started laughing in odd way. He felt so scared. He looked away & said “ She is mad.” Her parents came running towards her. But Rita stopped laughing & gave sweet smile. “ I am fine. I just want to scare him. I told lawyer to mention my Psychiatrist in divorce paper too.” Soon Subhash agreed to Divorce. When she got Divorce, she did grand party with her parents. She knew that her future was uncertain. But her future was damaged since she decided to marry Subhash. She was happy to get rid of him. She was literally dancing with happiness. Her parents were smiling too. They were happy that their daughter was alive & with them. From that day they all started their new life. Rita continued her psychiatristical treatment for few days. Then finally Rita began her life in new way. She didn’t have much money but she had freedom & her desire to shopping was not reduced that much but she could control it. Still sometimes she just wasted her money. But she knew that she would manage it by budgeting in few days.
The End
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