Varun’s childhood friends
Varun began to pack his bags. He didn’t know where they were shifting this time. It was their routine. They kept shifting from one place to another. It was perfect in eyes of his parents. His Dad loved shifting & his Mom didn’t mind. In fact his Mom obeyed every word of his Dad. According to his Mom money was most important & his Dad managed to get more by shifting. But he wanted to make friends & settle. In every school he was new student. Mostly kids didn’t get friendly with him immediately. In fact some kids loved to target new kids. But he knew how to handle it. This time it was hurting him more. He managed to friendship with a group. He never managed to enter in any group but this time he managed to enter in one. It was nice group. He wanted to stay with them. They were even calling him time to time on Picnic. He was never invited like that before. It was so upsetting. He wanted to become part of that group but now his parents decided to shift so he needed to go. He didn’t have much options. He felt so hurt. He started looking towards picture of those friends. They were so special to him. He started watching them. On that point his Mom screamed “ Hurry up.” He looked towards her with sad face. She smiled & said “ Don’t worry you will get new friends?” & she took hold of his hand. Then she started to forcibly take him away. He wanted to scream & cry but he didn’t. He didn’t understand why voice was not coming out of his mouth. It was so upsetting. He didn’t understand what was going to happen to him. It was so frustrating. He needed to get over his pains or he needed to at least express them but he couldn’t. It was so upsetting. He wanted to say something but he couldn’t. He tried to stop himself but he couldn’t. He screamed & once again he woke up in his bedroom with same upsetting dream. It was so upsetting. He was having one nightmare. He was not with anyone in room. So his screaming didn’t create much issue. He kept thanking his stars for it. He didn’t want anyone to see him screaming like this. He wanted to hide his madness. He knew that no one would consider such screaming as normal thing. They all would consider it wrong. He wanted to hide his mental issue from world. He didn’t want any companion since companion would surely sense it’s effect. He didn’t understand why he kept dreaming like that. It was incidence of his childhood. It was something that happened in past. But for why it kept coming back to him on every night . It didn’t understand. Sometimes he felt that he might needed to visit those friends. But he didn’t knew them at all. He began to think that if he called them after so many days they might consider him a mad man. He knew one thing for sure that they didn’t remember him. He knew that this photo was picture of kids & now they would be adults. They wouldn’t look like that & they didn’t even act like that. It was frustrating for him. He knew that now those boys would act differently. It would be different. They might not take interest in him & those girls! They might had already married with kids. He didn’t want to disturb their lives. He was not sure even he would get so much importance that they would call him disturbance. They might didn’t even recognise him. He knew that this photo had no value now. He was so sad & upset. He didn’t even keep that photo outside. He kept it inside. But in his memory it kept coming out every day. It was so upsetting. That photo was becoming part of his memory for unknown reason. He was not upset with his life. He had wonderful life. He was not involved with any one but he was happy with his work. He had nice house that he inherited by his parents everything was just perfect. He didn’t understand what was so upsetting for him. He knew that he was happy with his life. He never wanted to marry. He always felt that way. At beginning he tried to date but it didn’t work then he gave up. He was never felt lost in his life. He was happy with what he had. But these nightmares kept suggesting differently. He wanted to feel so happy. But whenever he had this nightmare. He immediately sensed that he was not happy about life. He wanted to change his childhood. He wanted to become more social in it. He always kept to himself. He never managed to make new friends. Those friends were special to him. He tried to sleep again. He knew that he wouldn’t dream same thing once again. It was strange but that dream was never repeated. He kept thinking about different things & went to sleep. But suddenly those faces started to come in his mind once again. He started to get restless & upset. He wanted to feel happy but he sensed that he might start to imagine those friends once again. He knew that children were not his friends. He started to tell himself that he must not remember them. He started to search for their photo. It was single photo. He had. He knew that it was only copy. But he wanted to forget them. He didn’t have much option but to tear that photo. He started to tear it in pieces. He could see small pieces in his imagination on ground. He didn’t like it. It was his only copy. But he knew that he didn’t have any option. All hope regarding getting back those friends were impossible. He made determination in his mind & he needed to destroy this picture. He was alone in room. But on that moment he wanted someone to stop him. He was so sad. He kept looking at that photo. He stopped himself & ran in his Mom’s room. His Mom must be sleeping but he needed her now. He knocked on door. But nothing happened. He just went inside. He knew that in just his Mom slept alone. His Dad was already dead. But his old habit didn’t die. His Dad disliked it when he ran inside room without proper knocking. His Dad valued privacy. So he knocked as per formality. His Mom didn’t say anything. She was clearly sleeping peacefully. In her dream she must be in different world. He began to get so angry. He needed her suggestion. But she was sleeping. He had no option. He needed to wake her up. He started touching her shoulder slowly. He started calling her.
Varun’s Mom Mita was in dream. It was not nightmare but it was not pleasant too. She was facing all old financial issues. Her husband always dragged her around world in name of earning more but finally she never received any money. Her husband always kept control of money. She ran around world with hope of money & finally she got nothing. It was frustrating. In her dreams she was back in her youth. She once again get all those marriage proposals. She didn’t let her desire rule this time. She didn’t marry attractive man but she married to rich & settled man. She sensed soon that he was married to another woman. She began to get upset in her dream. She hoped that he was divorced but it turned out to be fake too. She was so sad. She wanted to feel less stressed. She began to start to imagine things in worst way. She started to feel so helpless. She started to make noises in her dream. She was so restless. Varun was watching her. Varun needed to wake her up. Varun started pat on her shoulder. He started to call her name. Mita woke up. She looked towards Varun with shocked expression. She asked “ What happened?” He gave nervous smile. He started to tell her about his dream. Mita was trying hard to pay attention but she was feeling so sleepy. She didn’t even remember that her husband was dead. Varun told about his friends. She said “ But we can’t go there. Your father didn’t permit.” He screamed angrily “ When you will stop obeying him? He is dead!” Mita tired to look towards her son & concentrate on what was happening. She began to feel so scared & upset. She started to understand. Her husband was dead & her son wanted to meet his childhood friends. Mita gave weak smile & said “ Okay. Let’s go.” Varun was so upset. His Mom didn’t seem to understand matter. He knew that these friends wouldn’t recognise him. Varun “ But they don’t remember me!” “ Then you must find new one!” She always kept telling him same thing & new friends kept coming & going out of his life. No one cared for him. His Mom Mita didn’t understand his feelings. Somewhere in his heart he once again saw face of Tina. This was new entry of his life. Tina was staying in next building. She was not really rich girl but simple. He saw her twice looking towards him in secret way. He knew that Tina was not brave girl. Her parents kept introducing her to boys but they were not right for her. He saw plenty of times how much worst Tina’s dates were. Most of them kept screaming on her. Some kept taunting her. He knew that he was not supposed to observe it but they did it in such clear way that when he looked down from balcony he couldn’t help noticing. Sometimes he felt that he might just went ahead & propose her. It was important for him. He knew that he had those nightmares but he didn’t understand what was worst? A partner who kept screaming on her or a partner who screamed in nights due to nightmares. It was difficult to tell. But now he began to feel that he might needed to just meet these friends & get over his nightmares. He began to feel that this nightmare was his unfinished hope. He wanted to finish it. Yesterday he smiled towards Tina. She was so happy. He felt that she might be interested in him. He just needed to stop dreaming. He wanted to fulfil that dream. “ Mom I just want to bring happiness in my life. I want to settle..” Mita looked towards him with shock. She never thought that he would suggest like this. She wanted him to settle but he never showed any desire to do it. It was so upsetting. Her entire family kept blaming her. They all felt that this happened since she married it wrong man. She didn’t understand why they wanted to blame her. She tried to find right person. She thought that this person was nice. Then they got involved. She needed to get married to someone so she decided to marry him. She knew that she went after attraction but rich boys were not taking interest in her so she didn’t find anyone interesting before him. It was not as if she selected wrong man. She didn’t have much option. They all wanted rich girl & she was not rich. She knew that. But now finally her son Varun was talking about marriage. She began to encourage. Mita “ Yes.. Yes you must marry someone.” He gave her angry look “ I don’t want to marry someone at random. I will decide but before it I want to stop dreaming! I want to become normal.” Mita nodded. She never slept in Varun’s room. She knew that she was mother she needed to know but she never spent so much time with him. She needed to increase her earnings. Her husband was not earning enough even after running around country as per he desired. She didn’t understand why did she agreed to do that! Then she remembered his angry eyes. She knew that he kept showing his strength time to time. He kept hands in such way that they would hurt her. She couldn’t tell others that he was hitting her. He was not directly. But indirectly he managed to hit her. She began to feel scared. She went around everywhere so she didn’t manage to get job. She used to work from home. Even if she decided to take job, she didn’t feel that she could get one. It was not that easy. She ignored her son in whole process. She looked towards him with affection. Now she wanted to do all for him. She patted on his cheek & said “ We will do whatever you feel right. Your Dad never give chance to you. Now you can move in your way! You can get your success!” Varun nodded. He decided that he would put photo on social media to find those people. He felt that they might like him or dislike him but one thing was sure that he would meet them then he would stop dreaming about them. Then he would dream about Tina. He wanted to dream about her & his wonderful life not about his friends anymore. He tried to concentrate on being positive. He began to scan photo. He put it on social media then he went to sleep. He was sure that by morning people would claim that they were their childhood photos. They would come in contact with him. He slept with hope of getting back in touch with his friends. He was so happy. He wanted to get over that memory & he felt that he could do it now. He smiled happily. He was hoping happy dream.
Varun woke up in morning with horrible dream. This was worst than last one. In this dream his Dad was hitting him since he started to argue to go with friends. Actually this never happened since he never took that risk. He didn’t want to argue with his father. He was always scared of him. But in his dream he argued. It was worst. He knew one thing that he needed to get rid of dreams. He ran towards computer in morning. He thought that he would see plenty of people who would comment on that photo but no one did. He couldn’t find anyone who would know about it. He was so upset. He couldn’t find any of those old friends. He needed to stop those dreams. It was important. He removed curtain & looked outside. He couldn’t see Tina’s house from his window but he could imagine her sorrows. He wanted to propose her & remove troubles from her life but he was not capable. He couldn’t able to do it. He kept doing many things to find those friends. He just needed to meet them. He began to feel that they would solve his problems. It wasn’t something happening. He began to cry. He knew that now he couldn’t move ahead. When Mita came in room, he was already crying. Mita was so scared. She sensed that locating those children was impossible. She didn’t feel Cops would help in these kind of cases. They didn’t have any logic on their side. Cops would say that they must not harass those people. Then she thought about detective. She smiled. She patted on Varun shoulder & said “ Let’s go to detective!” He screamed on her angrily. “ Is it some joke? Do you know what will be their cost? & how can we manage to remain sure about results?!” Mita felt confused. She knew that she couldn’t. Varun gave her angry look & said “ You can never do anything for me.” She wanted to cry but she didn’t. She gave weak smile. She started to feel so nervous about all. She looked away. Varun went out of room. He did all as per his rules he needed to go to office. He couldn’t forget it. He needed to do his job. It was required money. He began to feel so nervous. He didn’t even do breakfast. Mita kept calling him from behind but he just rushed out of house. He was so stressed. He wanted to feel normal but he was not. He was dreaming daily in worst way. He tried to hide his feelings from other people of office. But soon one colleague asked him “ What happened? You are looking so pale. Are you sick?!” He couldn’t tell lie now. He needed to tell about nightmares. He started to describe them. Then he said “ Mom wanted to appoint detective to find those friends. But I don’t feel that detective can find anything..” suddenly his colleague started laughing. “ Why does you need friend?” “ I don’t understand. I need to find those friends to stop those nightmares. It was perfect solution.” “ Why does you need more friends?! You already have one like me? I am enough as battalion of friends.” Varun just nodded. He didn’t understand what should be his answer. Then his friend cum colleague continued " You don't need friend to stop nightmares. You need psychiatrist." Then he looked towards his friends with confused expressions. He never thought this way but now he sensed that his friend was right. He needed to find psychiatrist to stop nightmares. He began to get relaxed. He started to feel so happy. He knew now who could cure him & it seemed logical too. He smiled happily. " I need to find nice psychiatrist on internet." " Now you need a friend here." His colleague immediately produced one card. " This is my psychiatrist. I went to him when I start to feel depressed after death of my father. It was worst time. But he helped me a lot. Now I am perfect!" Then his colleague started laughing & added "Actually I have my defects too but I learn to accept them." Varun nodded. He started reading card. He was scared to start it but he knew that it was needed. He slowly stored number in his mobile & gave back card. He started to built courage to make call. He was so happy about it. But still new thing was managing to scare him. He was upset about it. In lunch hour when his colleague insisted he made one call. He managed to get appointment of next week. It was upsetting for him. He wanted to start this as soon as possible. He was so shocked when he understood psychiatrist was needed by so many people. He went home & told Mita about it. Mita was happy to hear it. That week was worst week of his life. He started to feel tense but he needed to keep moving ahead. He began to even sense that Tina was watching him with anger & disappointment. It was problematic for her. He was so happy when finally he was called. He went there. He was so tense. Mita wanted to come with him but he didn't permitted it. It was upsetting for her but she agreed. He finally went inside. Step by step he told all. Psychiatrist listened peacefully then said " I don't feel actually it is about your friends." " What?" " This is about your father & your desire to marry." Varun was shocked. Slowly Psychiatrist explained him. He wanted to get married with Tina but his father never gave him freedom to settle down so he managed to built up strange belief in his mind that whenever he get married he would suffer worst faith. That dream reminded him of his last worst faith in friendship. Varun was confused. But he nodded. Finally after some time he began to feel relaxed. He started to understand concept. He went home. On that night he dreamt. But impact of dream was reduced. One day he went to Tina & told her all. She expressed desire to meet psychiatrist. He agreed. Then after discussion she agreed to get married. Even after their marriage for sometime they had nightmares but they managed. Then slowly as they started happy life they stopped. His psychiatristic treatment stopped too. He understood one thing. Psychiatrist was right. It was fear of marriage & finally it was gone with it his nightmares vanished too. He never understood his fear but with help of treatment he understood it & got over it.
The End
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