Tarun's hand
Tarun was very excited about joining this club. He heard a lot about them. It was impossible to not feel excited about them. He had good married life but his wife was too busy. One day one kid needed attention & next another. She hardly managed to get time for them. She was working hard too. Her earning was good so he couldn't complaint. She was his diamond. He always admired her. He knew that she didn't have time to chat with him but she had time to fill their bank account. So she was precious to him. He didn't want to think this way but life forced him to do that. He still remembered how much he loved girl next door. She was beautiful & kind. But she didn't have good salary. She was not enough. Her parents told him. At beginning he got angry but then everyone started repeating it. His one friend said " Tarun my dear friend try to understand this is important opportunity to bring Laxmi in home. Your wife is Laxmi & she should bring Laxmi too." He showed money with hand. It was so upsetting. He wanted to marry girl he liked. But he was too scared to take responsibility. His salary was too low & no one suggested him to take risk. Everyone advised him to marry rich girl. He took it. Even today he was happy since his wife was beautiful & rich. His wife Ritika was jackpot for him. She didn't have much time but she was earning better. She was taking care of kids. He was happy about it. He knew Ritika was perfect. But now a days he had too many empty hours. He came from office early. At beginning his son used to play with him. But now his son wanted to play with boys of his own age. He wanted something with which he could waste time but still he seemed his old days sometimes when he used to spend days in playing football. So he decided to join this club. At that time he used to play for hours. He was such big champion. He wanted those days back. He wanted to enjoy his life. He was so happy in it. He needed this football club for it. He wanted his life in normal way. He needed his sports. He woke up early. He started his exercise. He began to do his diet. He wanted to stay healthy & hopeful. He wanted to play games as much as he used to do before. He was finally got ready today to try it. He was so shocked when he saw that luxurious gym. It was not just some sports club. It seemed like some wonderful hotel. It all looked like five star restaurant. It was so wonderful. It had all nice smell of some sweet perfume. It was so wonderful. It seemed as if he was in heaven. He had such wonderful feeling. He wanted to go inside. He needed to join that club. He was so happy when he started looking at those show pieces. Each of them had wonderful design. They kept watching them carefully. Those items had enchanting effect. He kept moving from one item to another. He began to feel so fresh. He wanted to keep watching them but suddenly security guard came & asked " Whom do you want to meet Sir?" Tarun smiled & said " I want to inquire about membership of club." Security smiled sweetly. Then he showed him place where office was located. He sat there. He was offered chocolates. He wanted to diet so he denied but immediately he was told that they were healthy chocolate. They didn't have those things in it which damaged health. He nodded happily & ate them. He was so happy. They were tasty & these people were saying that they were healthy too. He started discussing. Sum of that club was so large. He knew that his wife would never permit such a waste of money. He didn't have right to waste money like that when he was not earning that much. He knew that he needed it. He started thinking. He suddenly remembered his gold chain. In grandmother gifted it. She would surely wanted him to use for himself. He smiled. He sensed that he could replace that chain with fake one. After all he was using it daily. No one would notice it's change. This way he could pay for at least 6 months for club. By then he could start saving money he knew that his wife wouldn't notice. He took information. He agreed to all. Then he decided to take out card then he asked " Do you take cash payment?" " Of course! No problem." He smiled " Then I will come in some time." That manager nodded. When he was about to go out, he was stopped. He was given wonderful juice & snacks. Manager told him " If you become Gold member, you will get all these things free. At this you are bronze member so you will get just juice free. You need to pay for snacks." " Really. All snacks will free." " Yes you can eat as much as you want." He nodded happily. He felt that he was in perfect heaven. He was so happy. He ate then he took half day from office. He immediately went to one jeweller. He removed his chain & gave it to him. Jeweller looked shocked. " Why you are selling your chain which you are wearing?" His servant asked. Shop owner immediately gave him angry look. But Tarun laughed. " Don't worry! I am not in financial crisis. Actually my wife brought new chain so I want to get rid of this one. She get upset when I wear this one instead of one she bought." They all laughed. Shop owner " You can buy new one.." other customer " What is use his wife will keep complaining! Let him buy something else with money. His wife will keep purchasing gold. My wife use to do same thing. Now I am here since she is no longer.." " What happened?" Shop owner asked. Tarun didn't want to become part of this conversation but sadly he was dragged so he nodded to show he wanted to ask same question. " My wife had cancer.." then that customer started to tell his story. Tarun didn't want to hear it. He wanted to go in that gym. But his heart was telling him that would be selfish. So he listened. Then he received call from office. He needed to go back. He didn't have much option. He told jeweller that he would come later. He literally ran back to office. Then he started working. That gym totally went out of his mind. He went home. He started watching TV. Actually he was just watching what his family decided to watch. He never had much chance in choosing things he wanted to watch. He just sat before TV. He laughed when other laughed. But he didn't feel any pleasure out of it.
Tarun totally forgot about that club until he didn't receive call. Club manager began to ask about his future plan regarding registration. He suddenly began to feel that he did big mistake. He forgot to sell his chain. He needed to sell it. He needed his life. He must join that club. He began to sense that his wife was looking towards his neck. Ritika smiled & asked him " Where is your gold chain?" Tarun felt so nervous. He kept chain in packet since he wanted to sell. He smiled & said " Due to heat it was irritating so I removed it. It is in my pocket." Ritika immediately put her hand before him & said " Then give it to me. I will keep it in locker." He felt so upset. Ritika was keeping full attention on his jewelry too. It seemed as if his entire life was caged. She took his salary. He forced to eat just tiffin he got. His Taxi was booked by her only so he couldn't even go here & there if he wanted. He suddenly sensed that she must had noticed his club visit too. He smiled & gave her back his gold chain. She happily put it in locker. He was so confused. It seemed as if she was not giving him any freedom regarding money. His salary was not in his land. She took it all since it was small contribution. She didn't give him anything. He felt as if he denied everything. He knew that she earned better but still. He tried his best. He felt so sad. He had no option. But he called that club & told about some family crisis. Manager made sad noises. Then finally Manager said bye to him. He was so upset. He once again started his life. But it was not same. He was not human any more. He knew that he was human but he didn't feel anything. It was so strange. He didn't understand what was happening to him. He was so upset & unhappy. He wanted to feel normal but something was wrong with him. He didn't feel anything at all. He didn't understand what was happening to him. He felt as if his body was no longer under his control. He wanted to move it. He was so shocked. He didn't understand. It seemed as if his body was turning in some stone. He felt that this hand was alive for sometime. He began to sense that he was statue craved in stone. He was no longer having any emotions inside. His body didn't have emotions inside. He kept watching his hand attentively. He was looking in some strange way. Ritika immediately asked " What happened?" Ritika was asking him. But he didn't understand what he supposed to say. He didn't want to say anything before kids. It was so shocking. He didn't understand what was wrong with him. He never felt like this. He suddenly began to remember all. He started to feel so nervous. He didn't want to become bed ridden for entire life. He knew that Ritika didn't care that much for him. He knew that from first day of their marriage they never managed to fall in love. He tried to show that love but something was missing. He felt sometimes that he wanted different girl. He didn't understand why he never able to make happy. They had kids. They pretended that they loved each other. But it was not true. He knew it very well. Ritika sensed from beginning that they couldn't find that love with each other. In fact she immediately asked him " Are you in love with someone else?" He was so shocked. He was not in love with anyone else. He never dated anyone. He never touched any woman. He became red with anger & said " I never had any affair why did you ask me?" Ritika answered with eyes full of sorrow. " Since I can see you are not in love with me?" He was so confused & hurt. He didn't understand what was his true feelings. He knew that he must be in love with her. He started thinking about girls he liked. Soon he found few girls but he was never in love with them. Love was something so big & precious. He felt as if he never touched that concept. Love was something which was far away from his life. He kept concentrating on financial securities. He looked towards her & said " I never love anyone!" " Are you some robot? Human love someone!" He looked nervous. He didn't understand what did he supposed to say. He just looked away. She turned back towards him & went to sleep. He felt so sad. He decided that he must find feeling of love. Then he started to smile on her every joke. He started to give special respect to her relatives with hope to please her. But as time went ahead. He sensed that nothing was working. Then she became pregnant for first time. He was so happy. He wanted to take care of little baby. But soon his family began to insist for boy child. All his positivity became useless. Ritka started just concentrate on their words. She began to get tense. During entire time of pregnancy they didn't enjoy for minute. He didn't understand why his family needed a boy child. They were not so rich. He didn't have anything worthy to give his son. He didn't want responsibility. But he didn't able to fight against his family. He knew one thing that he wanted daughter but entire world was standing against him. No one was agreeing with him. It was so upsetting. He didn't understand what he should do. He was feeling so tense & upset. His entire life was locked in this strange cage. His wife didn't understand him. His family kept burdening him with their wishes. He was alone in this world. His dream were locked in his soul. Ritika gave birth to one boy & one girl but sadly none of them was attached to him. He was attacked to their son but now that attachment was over too. He just wanted to remain healthy now. But suddenly his hand was not moving. He felt as if his hand was out of stone. He didn't told it to Ritika. He wanted to hide it. His both kids began to ask for something & Ritika ran in kitchen. She kept looking towards him with doubt. But she didn't say anything. He removed his hand with help of other hand. He tried to pinch it for pain. Nothing! Hand was heavy burden. He was feeling so upset. He sensed that he needed help. But he didn't want to take it. Then suddenly his son started asking for his mobile. He tried to move hand but it was not working. Ritika was watching him with full attention. He tried so hard. His son started screaming. Finally his son came & took it. His son gave him angry look. Then his son looked towards his hand too. His son asked " What happened?" He said " Nothing." " Then why you are holding it like that?" He tried to move. Suddenly it moved. He laughed with relief. Ritika looked shocked. Ritika " Are you out of mind? You are scaring me." He controlled his emotions & said "Nothing. I just thought my hand is not moving. But it is moving." They all looked towards him with strange expression. But he ignored them. He went in his room & he immediately started trying to sleep. He slept peacefully. He didn't had any nightmare.
Tarun woke up next morning. He was feeling so fresh. He felt that all was perfect. He went to breakfast. No one mentioned yesterday. He went back happily in his normal life. He felt all that nightmare was vanished. He went ahead in normal way. He went in office. He did his best to appear normal to people. He was so happy. That he took call without second thought. It was that manager again. He began to remember that tasty snacks. He wanted to eat it again. He was so obsessed with it's taste. He started to get restless. He began to feel that he just wanted it. He knew that he couldn't sell chain. In fact he didn't have it any more. He began to feel so sad. He didn't understand cause of his pain. He wanted happiness & he had it. But he still was not feeling happy. He wanted that club membership. He was feeling so upset. He began to think about source in which he could get money. He suddenly thought one. He could take commission while giving contract of company. He would confirm that he would give it to proper people but he could take commission which was always offered to him. He never took it until now. That day when that businessman came, his heart was beating loudly. He didn't understand how could he ask for it. For long time that business man didn't understand then that business man gave meaningful smile & slowly offered him some money. He was so shocked. He never managed to get so much money. He was so happy. He knew that his wife wouldn't guess about this money. He took it. Then he went in that club next day. He gave it. Manager was so happy. His membership was confirmed. Ritika was little bit shocked when he told it but since he didn't took any money from her. She didn't say anything. He knew that she would keep observing him. She kept observing. But he never let her see that extra money. Slowly he began to make it routine. He was happy with it. Then suddenly once again he felt in club that his hand was not moving. He was doing exercise. He started to scream in pain. Instructor came running helped him. Instructor asked " What happened?" He told all. Instructor immediately suggested appointment of Doctor. He took it. Then he began to take reports. Ritika also sensed trouble. His hand was not acting normal. Everyone was scared. Then he did all reports. It proved that he was fine. They didn't understand. Finally one doctor suggested psychiatrist. At beginning he ignored. Then finally when all options were over, he decided to give it try. He was shocked when Psychiatrist declared that it might be mental trouble. Psychiatrist started asking different questions. Slowly he confessed how did he managed to get this money. Psychiatrist " This is happening due to your guilt conscious mind. Since childhood we hear many stories which tell us if we do bad things like stealing worst curse will fall on us. You are cheating on a company who gave you job when no one was giving." " But many do. This will not harm company.." " Don't tell me this. Tell it to your mind. But your mind will not agree. Why does you need that club?" He couldn't find answer. " Since you want to prove your wife you are better. She kept giving you inferiority complex. She kept telling you that you don't love her when you did all for her. I heard everything & I don't think you had any affair but what about her?" Tarun felt so confused. He never asked her. That night after psychiatrist appointment when they were in bedroom he asked. She screamed & pretended that he was doing crime by asking her these questions but her face showed fear. He sensed that she had it. She blamed him when she was guilty. He just turned to opposite side. After it he kept going to psychiatrist for sometime. As psychiatrist suggested. He stopped taking money. His hand never acted strange way. After that incidence Ritika always tried to act nice. She no longer kept showing him that he was inferior. His major problem in life was vanished. They were no longer in love with each other. Tarun knew that this marriage was big mistake. But they had children. They kept pretending. But in privacy they no longer pretended anything. Ritika tried to apologise etc. But it was meaningless. He could see that she didn't love him. He didn't love her too. It was better that way. They no longer try to blame each other. They started living in their two separate worlds while kids were only common thread. He knew that some day one of them might decide to break up or demand divorce. But he had decided that he wouldn't be him. So he waited for her to decide. But that decision never came so he sensed that they supposed to live that way forever & it was okay to him. Since now he could take money from her whenever he wanted finally he was happy. He even managed to go to movies sometimes. His life was not perfect but it was great. He learnt to enjoy it. Now he was human. He no longer felt like robot. He began to feel alive every day & it was greatest thing for him.
The End
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