Fear of suicide
Shital was so confused when Pooja started to search in room in night. Pooja, her cousin was staying with them them since she wanted to study in college which was in their town. Shital was not against it since she liked Pooja as friend. But when they planned that she just going to stay with them, she nodded. But when Pooja started to stay with her, she never dreamed that she would started searching in night. Shital was so upset. Shital screamed " What are you doing? Come on stop it. We have to go to sleep." But Pooja just smiled at her and kept searching. Shital was so upset. She started screaming loudly. When she felt touch on her shoulder and she woke up. She was sleeping in bed and Pooja was near her. Room was totally dark. Pooja " What happened? Why are you screaming like that? You scared me." Shital looked around. Her room was dark but she saw light few minutes ago. Shital " Nothing just bad dream." Pooja " Do you have nightmare like that every night?" Shital was embarrassed. " No..No..not every night just on few nights." Pooja just gave weak smile and went to sleep. But Pooja was so restless from mind. She decided to come here since she wanted to study in this college. But she was not sure about her decision any more. She was not that beautiful. In fact her sister was lot better looking than her and that was reason behind her ambition to became better in educational level before her sister. She wanted to become doctor and prove all that she was lot better than sister in many way. She could easily imagine her relatives who would come to her for help when she became Doctor. Those who were criticizing her now would began to run after her. Since she would study hard and become best doctor. But she would not just practice for money. She would do some work for poor too. She wanted real affection and respect not just that drama which her relative would create before world. She wanted to become something great in this world. For it she decided to go in this college but sadly her parents couldn't managed to find place in hostel. In fact they didn't trust those hostels. They wanted her to be safe with her cousin. But then sometimes she felt that they might want to save their money. But worst thing was that she was stuck here with her mad cousin. Shital was mad. Every one knew it. Shital was acting strange way since her Mom died due to cancer. Her Dad tried hard to help her but she was not normal. Then her Dad married to another woman. They had another daughter. Many people said that it was worst for Shital. After that she heard many time Shital just woke up at midnight and started walking on road. One of the relative told this but her parents didn't believe. So she was here. She knew that she had to sleep but she couldn't then she decided that she might just sleep in hall. She could create some excuse in morning. So Pooja went out of that room. Shital was trying to sleep but she was so disturbed. She didn't want to scream again. Then she sensed that Pooja went out in Hall. She took breathe of relief. She went to sleep again. She was woke up this time by voice of her step Mom, Rani. Rani " Shital where is Pooja?" " She went in hall to sleep." " But she is not there." "Moma I saw her going out." Shital was so upset. She went out. She looked around in hall. Sofa cum bed was empty. She was confused then she saw Pooja's blanket. She took it in hand and showed it to Rani. " So you saw it. She was sleeping here." But Rani started screaming. Shital looked at it. It was having red marks of blood. Shital dropped it and started screaming. Then her Dad came out. After some times Pooja came out with little Urvashi. Pooja " What happened?" Rani " Are you alright? There was blood in blanket I thought that you are hurt.." Pooja" It is not blood. It is Jam which Urvashi was trying to eat in night. She didn't understand I am sleeping here so she sat on me and this happened." Now Rani looked at Urvashi with anger. " You are stealing Jam in night. How dare you?" She slapped Urvashi on back. Urvashi started crying. Same time Shital went in her room while crying. Shital's Dad Ramesh" You always turn things in worst way." " I was trying to help." " No you are not helping. You are blaming unnecessarily my daughter." Then they started arguing without sensing Pooja was standing there. So Pooja didn't have option but she had to return to Shital's room. She was expecting that Shital must be crying. But Shital was sleeping quietly in bed. Pooja went near her and slept. Then she suddenly felt a wet touch. She looked around. Then she sensed that it was really blood. Shital was blooding. She started screaming without thinking about any thing. She just wanted some one to come and help Shital. She didn't stop even after Shital's parents entered in room. Finally she came in to senses. When Urvashi came in her hand and started crying slowly while apologizing for her mistake to all.
Pooja was shivering in room alone with Urvashi and she was watching every thing when ambulance took Shital in hospital. Pooja was so scared. Rani came near her and said " Don't stay awake go to sleep." Pooja was shocked at thought of going back in that room. " I can't sleep there." " Not there. Are you stupid? How can I suggest such thing? I am not mad like Shital. Sleep in our master bedroom. " Pooja just nodded. Pooja was so scared. She took Urvashi with her. Pooja wanted to call her parents and tell them all but it felt like betrayal to this family. They took her in their house when she needed. She had to start her college in few days. She didn't want to destroy her career. She studied so hard in Tenth to get this admission. Now she was not going to let anyone ruin this. She decided that she must cooperate with this family. She decided that she could move ahead with hopes that every thing would be solved. She took Urvashi in room with her. She slowly started to try to put her too sleep. It was not easy task. She had so hard time to convince her to sleep. Finally Urvashi was asleep. Then she started to try to go to sleep. Nothing was working as she hoped. She was so restless. She began to walk around that house with hope to relax. Soon she heard voice from door as if someone was opening door. It was Rani. She just ran back to her room. Rani was clearly angry. Rani immediately called some one on phone. " She started her drama again. She cut her wrist this time...Yes yes she is in hospital. And Rakesh is blaming me for it since I screamed on her. His daughter is mad girl. Trust me this girl never let me have happy married life. She just kept irritating every moment. Last time I got scared on some issue by mistake blamed her. She started this drama. I just hate that girl. She never let me sleep peacefully a day of life..I know I have to send her in mental institute but Rakesh didn't understand.." After hearing this Pooja just ran back. She was so scared. She couldn't imagine Shital to be send in that hospital. She didn't want her to be locked. But then she knew that Rani Auntie was also right. She was acting so strange. She screamed at night. Then Rani Auntie did mistake but it happen sometimes. Shital tried to do suicide on such small issue. But she was not that mad. She needed to stay in home. Then in one day Pooja came home. She was quiet this time. She didn't seem to be interested in any thing. Pooja felt it was strange. Pooja decided that she should talk with her. Pooja sat near her. Pooja " I am going to college tomorrow." " College?" She said that word as if she had heard it for first time. Then she gave weak smile and nodded. Pooja kept looking at her in confused way. Rani " Don't worry. It is happening due to medicine. She didn't understand things properly. But don't worry. They will stop them in few days." Pooja nodded. Sometimes Shital seemed normal but sometimes she seemed like some one walking in sleep. Pooja felt it was so strange. Pooja one day finally asked Rani " What is wrong with her?" Rani gave smile and said " Nothing. You don't need to worry. Did she screamed at night?" " No." "That's great so she is getting better day by day." " She didn't sense what I was talking many times." Rani smiled. " Don't worry. It is just due to medicines. It will stop after some days." But they just kept giving her medicine. Shital didn't look like her old self. Their college started. But Shital went with Pooja like robot in it. Pooja was new student but Shital was her senior. Still Shital hardly seemed to understand that college building. She kept searching for class room for long time. Finally Shital went in it. Pooja looked inside. No one was interested in talking with Shital. They all looked at her in strange way. Then every one returned to their work. But Pooja was sure that they were going to gossip behind back. Pooja just saw one thing that Shital sat carefully in her room. She ran back to her class room. She was new student. She was so scared. But every one was busy with their friends. She started to search for empty seat. But none seemed to be available. Since every empty seat was reserved for some one. It seemed that many of student belonged to local school so they all came with their group so she was alone. She finally got one seat in corner. That girl was new too. Pooja smiled towards her. She returned her smile and their partnership just began. She was Archana. She was local but from far away school so they both didn't have any friends so their journey started together on that day.
Pooja began her life in college in new way. But she felt from heart that Shital was her responsibility so when their classes were over. She started to go out with Archana. She turned to senior classes. Pooja " Actually my cousin is in senior class. I might take her with me." " Now don't go in those classes senior might not like it." " I don't understand." "Actually we are lucky that in our college there is not much ragging but still going in senior's classes is not that safe. I mean what if they suddenly decide to rag you." Pooja suddenly felt so scared. Pooja kept standing on corner. When suddenly one senior girl came to them, they felt so scared that they started running. But that girl screamed " Stop both of you." They stopped. " Why were you watching like that?" She was asking with such authority. That they both started shivering. " Don't you know that you are not permitted to wander in college like that. It is not garden. If I complaint to professor, you will receive serious punishment." " Sorry." " It's fine. Do you have water?" Archana nodded. " Then give it to me." Archana immediately gave it. " Good girl. It is nice that you remember our culture never say no to water. I am glad so in return I will do some favor to you. I will solve your problem so tell me." They both didn't say any thing. " Tell me or I will call professor. Pooja" Actually I have my cousin in that class. I want to take her home with me." That girl started laughing. " You want to take your cousin with you. Do you feel she is baby girl? She is not baby. You are. Why don't you suck your thumbs for me?" They sensed slowly crowd started to gather around them. They were so nervous. Every one was watching them laughing. When suddenly they heard voice from behind "What's going on?", suddenly every one ran away. It was one elderly professor. That professor smiled " Did those girls tried to harass you?" They didn't answer. They didn't want to create enemies on first day. Professor " No need to answer. I know. That's why we all professors were paying attention in corridor. These kids!! They just never understand effects of their acts. Any way why did you come here?" Pooja " I want take my sister with me. Shital." " Ohh that girl!! She is really not normal. From tomorrow don't come here. I will drop her near your class. It is great to know that some one will take her home. Sometimes she look so lost that I feel scared that she might hurt herself in some way. Did she tried to hurt herself again?" Pooja was shocked to hear that. So every one knew about it in college." No need to feel surprise. It is not first time. She had that problem for long time. Really sad story. It is some genetic problem. Her Mom did same thing. I heard even her grand mother's sister was also having some kind of problem. But it increased since her Mom died. Do you know how did her Mom died?" Pooja nodded negatively. " I can guess that much. She took poison. Actually rat poison was not available in last scale to one person but she did a trick. She took one herself. Then she told watchman to bring one. She took one from maid and then finally one from her husband. Reason behind suicide unknown. They said that she fought with her husband regarding color of wall when he didn't agree to her choice. She killed herself. Rubbish!! I feel it must be some sickness. But I can't ask her directly. Here she is." They looked in class room. Shital was packing her bags slowly. " They must giving her medicine again. They didn't have any option. They all said that she was lucky that her mother didn't poison her. But I feel she managed to poison her mind." Professor called Shital. " Your cousin it here to take you home." Shital nodded and came towards them. She started walking with them. But she was not talking at all. Archana and Pooja tried to talk with her but she just kept nodding. Sometimes Pooja wished that only if Shital stopped those medicine but then she remembered that blood on her bed and she decided that it was better. She didn't want to see her in mental hospital or morgue. This was better than being dead. Pooja always felt that when you were alive then there was hope after death there couldn't hope unless god decide to do that favor and god would favor only those who value their life so Pooja always valued every life.
Shital and Pooja went home. Pooja kept watching it all silently. At beginning Shital was just like robot. Then slowly Rani started reducing medicine. Then Shital began to become normal. This Shital was totally different than that Shital. She was too much emotional. Pooja could sense that she was now getting hurt on every point. One day while joking Urvashi pulled her hair. Shital slapped her. Every one was shocked but then they all understood. Urvashi did wrong thing. But then Shital started crying loudly herself. She started saying that every one just hate her. They all started to try to claim her but nothing was working. Finally Rani started suggesting her to take her pills. She was confused at beginning but then she nodded. She took them. Then she barely ate. She just went to sleep. Rani " This is so strange. How can she move ahead like this?" " We don't have option." Finally Pooja managed to gather guts to ask this. Finally Rani answered " She is suffering from Impulsive Aggressive Disorder. She started to feeling sometimes hopes and sometimes she was too sad to understand it .She began to feel so wrong on some small point. Now you can see it clearly today. How did she reacted to small incidence? Actually I know that we are asking too much from you but we want you to stay with her. She is not normal. She needed some one to keep watch on her. "Pooja " But she could carry on like that?" Rakesh " But we don't have option." Pooja was shocked to hear this. " She managed to take those genes from her Mom. She needed some one who took care of her. We need one good companion with her. We are sure! slowly she would understand to handle it." " My god!! So it is true. Her Mom killed herself. " "Yes. She was also showing many signs. I never understood them. I just assumed that she was too stubborn and preferred to ignore it. At beginning she was breaking things in house. But then slowly she began to scream on Shital. I was so angry with her. When I saw one day, she cut herself before Shital. I was so angry when I asked her why did she did it. She was so confused. She kept crying. She didn't understand any thing. She was just in that phase. She didn't even sense that she was cutting herself before her daughter. She was angry about something and she wanted to express her anger. She did in worst way. She didn't hurt herself that much . I just applied medicine to her hand. I just felt that it was mistake of that moment. I thought that it would be over soon. But then slowly it started increasing." Rakesh started crying. Rani tried to calm him. Pooja wanted to hear it all so she didn't dare to stop him. Rani " I think that is enough." " No. She need to know it all if she wanted to stay with her. Then step by step I started to see marks on her body every day. Every time she had some nice excuse. Every time she managed to convince me that some thing had managed to hurt her. I never suspected that she was doing it to herself. Until one day when she was angry, she managed to hurt Shital too. Shital had few stitches on her forehead. By that time Shital was so scared that she just told me every thing. According to Shital her Mom was throwing things on her because she didn't wear dress which Mom was suggesting. But her Mom kept telling that Shital was exaggerating. She just threw away things and it hurt Shital. I didn't want to hear any thing more. I just managed to tell her that she needed some Doctor. I took Shital in arms and went in garden. When I returned. She was smiling and she told be that she would go to Doctor. We planned to visit Doctor. Then we decided that our house need coloring. Actually we want to hide those marks which she managed to create on walls. Every thing was planned then in painting one day she started throwing tantrum regarding color. Then in few days she killed herself. She did it because she didn't want to go to psychiatrist. She had tried once but she ran away just in one session. She hated those medicine. So when she died, I thought it was over but that was not truth of my life." Then they suddenly heard Shital's voice. Rani " We tell you more things later on. Now we must go in Shital's room." Pooja nodded. " I don't want her to feel any one is angry on her so give good smile specially Urvashi." Urvashi nodded. Shital smiled. " Urvashi come here. Pull my hair." Urvashi stayed behind. "Why are you not doing it?" " Mom told me not to." " Ohh so you are coming between me and my sister." Rani was clearly upset now. Rani sensed that she might lose control so she went out of room. Urvashi ran after her. Pooja was standing there. Shital started screaming again " They are doing it all with intention. They wanted to prove me mad." Rakesh " Calm down. Calm down. No one feel that you are mad." Rakesh started to calm her. Pooja didn't want to talk on that point. She was so scared so she just managed to run out of that room. She went in hall. She just sat there and started crying slowly. She didn't want to stay with Shital but she didn't want to return either. She was just confused. She just managed to make sure no one was watching and started crying.
After some time Pooja felt touch of hand on shoulder. Rani was standing behind. Rani" Actully Shital is upset today so her Dad will sleep in her room on your bed. So you have to sleep with me and Urvashi. Actually Urvashi is too much upset with this. She like your company. Will you join us in our room or you like to sleep alone in hall? It is your choice. I am not forcing for any thing. " Pooja didn't want to go in that bedroom she wanted privacy of some moment. But she knew that she didn't do that since she was not in her house. She needed to act as per their choice Pooja "It's alright. I will sleep there." As soon as she went inside Urvashi hugged her, Urvashi started crying. Urvashi " I made Didi sick." Pooja " No you don't." She took Urvashi in arms and sat on bed with her. Pooja " Your Didi is already sick. We got to help her to get better. She could be perfect but we can give her happiness. You did nothing wrong. She is sick from beginning." " But why? Will I become sick like her one day?" " No you will not. She got this sickness from her Mom." "Her Mom was bad woman. She gave her sickness." Rani " Urvashi don't say that. She was nice lady. She was sick herself." Urvashi was confused. Pooja " Let me explain. Your eyes are black and round like your Mom." Urvashi nodded. " Your nose is sharp like your Dad." "And my chin is also like him. But my height is like my grandma..." "Okay Okay but did they give it to you with their intentions?" " No. It came to me." " Same way her Mom passed it unknowingly but now you must not say this before her." " I know I am not that stupid. I know it will hurt her. So sad. Why did god create that sickness?" Rani " Urvashi that is god's way of life god give you happiness and sorrows both. We have to live through both." Urvashi nodded. Urvashi rubbed her tears and gave sweet smile. " I will go to Didi and gave her sweet smile and tell her I am fine." Rani was so scared. Rani " No..No not now." Pooja suddenly felt confident that it would do good to Shital. Pooja " I will go with her." Rani was confused but she knew that she couldn't stop Urvashi and it seemed better if Pooja went with her so she nodded. Pooja went in room with Urvashi. Shital was screaming. She was totally out of control. She was saying again and again that no one loved her. But Urvashi screamed " No Didi I love you. I am sorry. I pull your hair." Shital stopped for moment. Pooja knew that it was moment when she could relax Shital. Pooja " Urvashi was just sorry for her mistake. Can't you forgive her? She came to say sorry and sleep with you." Urvashi controlled her fear and nodded. Suddenly Shital smiled. Every thing about her suddenly began to look normal. She started to tell Urvashi to come near her. Then she took Urvashi near her. Then she told Pooja to sleep on bed next to her. Rakesh went out of that room quietly. Then they all slept peacefully. On that night there was no nightmare. Even on next day Shital was relaxed. One thing was clear that Pooja managed to calm her in big way. After that Shital started facing many mood swing but Pooja began to become her best help. One day Shital gave Pooja big smile. " Can I tell you one thing?" " Yes." " I might not pass my college but still I feel college is best thing since due to college you came in my life. I feel just one thing if you want to become Doctor then turn into psychiatrist you are so nice. World need people like you to become psychiatrist or world will become mad one day like me." After two years Pooja went for MBBS in another college near her home. She went away from Shital. But she always remembered her words. She decided to become a good psychiatrist. Soon she understood that Shital had to quit her college. Shital was staying just in home now. She didn't manage to get much better. But still Pooja kept chatting with her and Shital managed to answer her every day. Shital kept telling about her mood swings. Soon Shital joined one normal diploma course. She managed to get a nice job. Shital decided that she never wanted to marry. She was too scared. But she was still scared that she would one day commit suicide like her Mom. But Pooja kept telling her every time that she didn't need to worry one day science might find way to cure her wrong genes and Shital always sent smiley in answer.
Shital was so confused when Pooja started to search in room in night. Pooja, her cousin was staying with them them since she wanted to study in college which was in their town. Shital was not against it since she liked Pooja as friend. But when they planned that she just going to stay with them, she nodded. But when Pooja started to stay with her, she never dreamed that she would started searching in night. Shital was so upset. Shital screamed " What are you doing? Come on stop it. We have to go to sleep." But Pooja just smiled at her and kept searching. Shital was so upset. She started screaming loudly. When she felt touch on her shoulder and she woke up. She was sleeping in bed and Pooja was near her. Room was totally dark. Pooja " What happened? Why are you screaming like that? You scared me." Shital looked around. Her room was dark but she saw light few minutes ago. Shital " Nothing just bad dream." Pooja " Do you have nightmare like that every night?" Shital was embarrassed. " No..No..not every night just on few nights." Pooja just gave weak smile and went to sleep. But Pooja was so restless from mind. She decided to come here since she wanted to study in this college. But she was not sure about her decision any more. She was not that beautiful. In fact her sister was lot better looking than her and that was reason behind her ambition to became better in educational level before her sister. She wanted to become doctor and prove all that she was lot better than sister in many way. She could easily imagine her relatives who would come to her for help when she became Doctor. Those who were criticizing her now would began to run after her. Since she would study hard and become best doctor. But she would not just practice for money. She would do some work for poor too. She wanted real affection and respect not just that drama which her relative would create before world. She wanted to become something great in this world. For it she decided to go in this college but sadly her parents couldn't managed to find place in hostel. In fact they didn't trust those hostels. They wanted her to be safe with her cousin. But then sometimes she felt that they might want to save their money. But worst thing was that she was stuck here with her mad cousin. Shital was mad. Every one knew it. Shital was acting strange way since her Mom died due to cancer. Her Dad tried hard to help her but she was not normal. Then her Dad married to another woman. They had another daughter. Many people said that it was worst for Shital. After that she heard many time Shital just woke up at midnight and started walking on road. One of the relative told this but her parents didn't believe. So she was here. She knew that she had to sleep but she couldn't then she decided that she might just sleep in hall. She could create some excuse in morning. So Pooja went out of that room. Shital was trying to sleep but she was so disturbed. She didn't want to scream again. Then she sensed that Pooja went out in Hall. She took breathe of relief. She went to sleep again. She was woke up this time by voice of her step Mom, Rani. Rani " Shital where is Pooja?" " She went in hall to sleep." " But she is not there." "Moma I saw her going out." Shital was so upset. She went out. She looked around in hall. Sofa cum bed was empty. She was confused then she saw Pooja's blanket. She took it in hand and showed it to Rani. " So you saw it. She was sleeping here." But Rani started screaming. Shital looked at it. It was having red marks of blood. Shital dropped it and started screaming. Then her Dad came out. After some times Pooja came out with little Urvashi. Pooja " What happened?" Rani " Are you alright? There was blood in blanket I thought that you are hurt.." Pooja" It is not blood. It is Jam which Urvashi was trying to eat in night. She didn't understand I am sleeping here so she sat on me and this happened." Now Rani looked at Urvashi with anger. " You are stealing Jam in night. How dare you?" She slapped Urvashi on back. Urvashi started crying. Same time Shital went in her room while crying. Shital's Dad Ramesh" You always turn things in worst way." " I was trying to help." " No you are not helping. You are blaming unnecessarily my daughter." Then they started arguing without sensing Pooja was standing there. So Pooja didn't have option but she had to return to Shital's room. She was expecting that Shital must be crying. But Shital was sleeping quietly in bed. Pooja went near her and slept. Then she suddenly felt a wet touch. She looked around. Then she sensed that it was really blood. Shital was blooding. She started screaming without thinking about any thing. She just wanted some one to come and help Shital. She didn't stop even after Shital's parents entered in room. Finally she came in to senses. When Urvashi came in her hand and started crying slowly while apologizing for her mistake to all.
Pooja was shivering in room alone with Urvashi and she was watching every thing when ambulance took Shital in hospital. Pooja was so scared. Rani came near her and said " Don't stay awake go to sleep." Pooja was shocked at thought of going back in that room. " I can't sleep there." " Not there. Are you stupid? How can I suggest such thing? I am not mad like Shital. Sleep in our master bedroom. " Pooja just nodded. Pooja was so scared. She took Urvashi with her. Pooja wanted to call her parents and tell them all but it felt like betrayal to this family. They took her in their house when she needed. She had to start her college in few days. She didn't want to destroy her career. She studied so hard in Tenth to get this admission. Now she was not going to let anyone ruin this. She decided that she must cooperate with this family. She decided that she could move ahead with hopes that every thing would be solved. She took Urvashi in room with her. She slowly started to try to put her too sleep. It was not easy task. She had so hard time to convince her to sleep. Finally Urvashi was asleep. Then she started to try to go to sleep. Nothing was working as she hoped. She was so restless. She began to walk around that house with hope to relax. Soon she heard voice from door as if someone was opening door. It was Rani. She just ran back to her room. Rani was clearly angry. Rani immediately called some one on phone. " She started her drama again. She cut her wrist this time...Yes yes she is in hospital. And Rakesh is blaming me for it since I screamed on her. His daughter is mad girl. Trust me this girl never let me have happy married life. She just kept irritating every moment. Last time I got scared on some issue by mistake blamed her. She started this drama. I just hate that girl. She never let me sleep peacefully a day of life..I know I have to send her in mental institute but Rakesh didn't understand.." After hearing this Pooja just ran back. She was so scared. She couldn't imagine Shital to be send in that hospital. She didn't want her to be locked. But then she knew that Rani Auntie was also right. She was acting so strange. She screamed at night. Then Rani Auntie did mistake but it happen sometimes. Shital tried to do suicide on such small issue. But she was not that mad. She needed to stay in home. Then in one day Pooja came home. She was quiet this time. She didn't seem to be interested in any thing. Pooja felt it was strange. Pooja decided that she should talk with her. Pooja sat near her. Pooja " I am going to college tomorrow." " College?" She said that word as if she had heard it for first time. Then she gave weak smile and nodded. Pooja kept looking at her in confused way. Rani " Don't worry. It is happening due to medicine. She didn't understand things properly. But don't worry. They will stop them in few days." Pooja nodded. Sometimes Shital seemed normal but sometimes she seemed like some one walking in sleep. Pooja felt it was so strange. Pooja one day finally asked Rani " What is wrong with her?" Rani gave smile and said " Nothing. You don't need to worry. Did she screamed at night?" " No." "That's great so she is getting better day by day." " She didn't sense what I was talking many times." Rani smiled. " Don't worry. It is just due to medicines. It will stop after some days." But they just kept giving her medicine. Shital didn't look like her old self. Their college started. But Shital went with Pooja like robot in it. Pooja was new student but Shital was her senior. Still Shital hardly seemed to understand that college building. She kept searching for class room for long time. Finally Shital went in it. Pooja looked inside. No one was interested in talking with Shital. They all looked at her in strange way. Then every one returned to their work. But Pooja was sure that they were going to gossip behind back. Pooja just saw one thing that Shital sat carefully in her room. She ran back to her class room. She was new student. She was so scared. But every one was busy with their friends. She started to search for empty seat. But none seemed to be available. Since every empty seat was reserved for some one. It seemed that many of student belonged to local school so they all came with their group so she was alone. She finally got one seat in corner. That girl was new too. Pooja smiled towards her. She returned her smile and their partnership just began. She was Archana. She was local but from far away school so they both didn't have any friends so their journey started together on that day.
Pooja began her life in college in new way. But she felt from heart that Shital was her responsibility so when their classes were over. She started to go out with Archana. She turned to senior classes. Pooja " Actually my cousin is in senior class. I might take her with me." " Now don't go in those classes senior might not like it." " I don't understand." "Actually we are lucky that in our college there is not much ragging but still going in senior's classes is not that safe. I mean what if they suddenly decide to rag you." Pooja suddenly felt so scared. Pooja kept standing on corner. When suddenly one senior girl came to them, they felt so scared that they started running. But that girl screamed " Stop both of you." They stopped. " Why were you watching like that?" She was asking with such authority. That they both started shivering. " Don't you know that you are not permitted to wander in college like that. It is not garden. If I complaint to professor, you will receive serious punishment." " Sorry." " It's fine. Do you have water?" Archana nodded. " Then give it to me." Archana immediately gave it. " Good girl. It is nice that you remember our culture never say no to water. I am glad so in return I will do some favor to you. I will solve your problem so tell me." They both didn't say any thing. " Tell me or I will call professor. Pooja" Actually I have my cousin in that class. I want to take her home with me." That girl started laughing. " You want to take your cousin with you. Do you feel she is baby girl? She is not baby. You are. Why don't you suck your thumbs for me?" They sensed slowly crowd started to gather around them. They were so nervous. Every one was watching them laughing. When suddenly they heard voice from behind "What's going on?", suddenly every one ran away. It was one elderly professor. That professor smiled " Did those girls tried to harass you?" They didn't answer. They didn't want to create enemies on first day. Professor " No need to answer. I know. That's why we all professors were paying attention in corridor. These kids!! They just never understand effects of their acts. Any way why did you come here?" Pooja " I want take my sister with me. Shital." " Ohh that girl!! She is really not normal. From tomorrow don't come here. I will drop her near your class. It is great to know that some one will take her home. Sometimes she look so lost that I feel scared that she might hurt herself in some way. Did she tried to hurt herself again?" Pooja was shocked to hear that. So every one knew about it in college." No need to feel surprise. It is not first time. She had that problem for long time. Really sad story. It is some genetic problem. Her Mom did same thing. I heard even her grand mother's sister was also having some kind of problem. But it increased since her Mom died. Do you know how did her Mom died?" Pooja nodded negatively. " I can guess that much. She took poison. Actually rat poison was not available in last scale to one person but she did a trick. She took one herself. Then she told watchman to bring one. She took one from maid and then finally one from her husband. Reason behind suicide unknown. They said that she fought with her husband regarding color of wall when he didn't agree to her choice. She killed herself. Rubbish!! I feel it must be some sickness. But I can't ask her directly. Here she is." They looked in class room. Shital was packing her bags slowly. " They must giving her medicine again. They didn't have any option. They all said that she was lucky that her mother didn't poison her. But I feel she managed to poison her mind." Professor called Shital. " Your cousin it here to take you home." Shital nodded and came towards them. She started walking with them. But she was not talking at all. Archana and Pooja tried to talk with her but she just kept nodding. Sometimes Pooja wished that only if Shital stopped those medicine but then she remembered that blood on her bed and she decided that it was better. She didn't want to see her in mental hospital or morgue. This was better than being dead. Pooja always felt that when you were alive then there was hope after death there couldn't hope unless god decide to do that favor and god would favor only those who value their life so Pooja always valued every life.
Shital and Pooja went home. Pooja kept watching it all silently. At beginning Shital was just like robot. Then slowly Rani started reducing medicine. Then Shital began to become normal. This Shital was totally different than that Shital. She was too much emotional. Pooja could sense that she was now getting hurt on every point. One day while joking Urvashi pulled her hair. Shital slapped her. Every one was shocked but then they all understood. Urvashi did wrong thing. But then Shital started crying loudly herself. She started saying that every one just hate her. They all started to try to claim her but nothing was working. Finally Rani started suggesting her to take her pills. She was confused at beginning but then she nodded. She took them. Then she barely ate. She just went to sleep. Rani " This is so strange. How can she move ahead like this?" " We don't have option." Finally Pooja managed to gather guts to ask this. Finally Rani answered " She is suffering from Impulsive Aggressive Disorder. She started to feeling sometimes hopes and sometimes she was too sad to understand it .She began to feel so wrong on some small point. Now you can see it clearly today. How did she reacted to small incidence? Actually I know that we are asking too much from you but we want you to stay with her. She is not normal. She needed some one to keep watch on her. "Pooja " But she could carry on like that?" Rakesh " But we don't have option." Pooja was shocked to hear this. " She managed to take those genes from her Mom. She needed some one who took care of her. We need one good companion with her. We are sure! slowly she would understand to handle it." " My god!! So it is true. Her Mom killed herself. " "Yes. She was also showing many signs. I never understood them. I just assumed that she was too stubborn and preferred to ignore it. At beginning she was breaking things in house. But then slowly she began to scream on Shital. I was so angry with her. When I saw one day, she cut herself before Shital. I was so angry when I asked her why did she did it. She was so confused. She kept crying. She didn't understand any thing. She was just in that phase. She didn't even sense that she was cutting herself before her daughter. She was angry about something and she wanted to express her anger. She did in worst way. She didn't hurt herself that much . I just applied medicine to her hand. I just felt that it was mistake of that moment. I thought that it would be over soon. But then slowly it started increasing." Rakesh started crying. Rani tried to calm him. Pooja wanted to hear it all so she didn't dare to stop him. Rani " I think that is enough." " No. She need to know it all if she wanted to stay with her. Then step by step I started to see marks on her body every day. Every time she had some nice excuse. Every time she managed to convince me that some thing had managed to hurt her. I never suspected that she was doing it to herself. Until one day when she was angry, she managed to hurt Shital too. Shital had few stitches on her forehead. By that time Shital was so scared that she just told me every thing. According to Shital her Mom was throwing things on her because she didn't wear dress which Mom was suggesting. But her Mom kept telling that Shital was exaggerating. She just threw away things and it hurt Shital. I didn't want to hear any thing more. I just managed to tell her that she needed some Doctor. I took Shital in arms and went in garden. When I returned. She was smiling and she told be that she would go to Doctor. We planned to visit Doctor. Then we decided that our house need coloring. Actually we want to hide those marks which she managed to create on walls. Every thing was planned then in painting one day she started throwing tantrum regarding color. Then in few days she killed herself. She did it because she didn't want to go to psychiatrist. She had tried once but she ran away just in one session. She hated those medicine. So when she died, I thought it was over but that was not truth of my life." Then they suddenly heard Shital's voice. Rani " We tell you more things later on. Now we must go in Shital's room." Pooja nodded. " I don't want her to feel any one is angry on her so give good smile specially Urvashi." Urvashi nodded. Shital smiled. " Urvashi come here. Pull my hair." Urvashi stayed behind. "Why are you not doing it?" " Mom told me not to." " Ohh so you are coming between me and my sister." Rani was clearly upset now. Rani sensed that she might lose control so she went out of room. Urvashi ran after her. Pooja was standing there. Shital started screaming again " They are doing it all with intention. They wanted to prove me mad." Rakesh " Calm down. Calm down. No one feel that you are mad." Rakesh started to calm her. Pooja didn't want to talk on that point. She was so scared so she just managed to run out of that room. She went in hall. She just sat there and started crying slowly. She didn't want to stay with Shital but she didn't want to return either. She was just confused. She just managed to make sure no one was watching and started crying.
After some time Pooja felt touch of hand on shoulder. Rani was standing behind. Rani" Actully Shital is upset today so her Dad will sleep in her room on your bed. So you have to sleep with me and Urvashi. Actually Urvashi is too much upset with this. She like your company. Will you join us in our room or you like to sleep alone in hall? It is your choice. I am not forcing for any thing. " Pooja didn't want to go in that bedroom she wanted privacy of some moment. But she knew that she didn't do that since she was not in her house. She needed to act as per their choice Pooja "It's alright. I will sleep there." As soon as she went inside Urvashi hugged her, Urvashi started crying. Urvashi " I made Didi sick." Pooja " No you don't." She took Urvashi in arms and sat on bed with her. Pooja " Your Didi is already sick. We got to help her to get better. She could be perfect but we can give her happiness. You did nothing wrong. She is sick from beginning." " But why? Will I become sick like her one day?" " No you will not. She got this sickness from her Mom." "Her Mom was bad woman. She gave her sickness." Rani " Urvashi don't say that. She was nice lady. She was sick herself." Urvashi was confused. Pooja " Let me explain. Your eyes are black and round like your Mom." Urvashi nodded. " Your nose is sharp like your Dad." "And my chin is also like him. But my height is like my grandma..." "Okay Okay but did they give it to you with their intentions?" " No. It came to me." " Same way her Mom passed it unknowingly but now you must not say this before her." " I know I am not that stupid. I know it will hurt her. So sad. Why did god create that sickness?" Rani " Urvashi that is god's way of life god give you happiness and sorrows both. We have to live through both." Urvashi nodded. Urvashi rubbed her tears and gave sweet smile. " I will go to Didi and gave her sweet smile and tell her I am fine." Rani was so scared. Rani " No..No not now." Pooja suddenly felt confident that it would do good to Shital. Pooja " I will go with her." Rani was confused but she knew that she couldn't stop Urvashi and it seemed better if Pooja went with her so she nodded. Pooja went in room with Urvashi. Shital was screaming. She was totally out of control. She was saying again and again that no one loved her. But Urvashi screamed " No Didi I love you. I am sorry. I pull your hair." Shital stopped for moment. Pooja knew that it was moment when she could relax Shital. Pooja " Urvashi was just sorry for her mistake. Can't you forgive her? She came to say sorry and sleep with you." Urvashi controlled her fear and nodded. Suddenly Shital smiled. Every thing about her suddenly began to look normal. She started to tell Urvashi to come near her. Then she took Urvashi near her. Then she told Pooja to sleep on bed next to her. Rakesh went out of that room quietly. Then they all slept peacefully. On that night there was no nightmare. Even on next day Shital was relaxed. One thing was clear that Pooja managed to calm her in big way. After that Shital started facing many mood swing but Pooja began to become her best help. One day Shital gave Pooja big smile. " Can I tell you one thing?" " Yes." " I might not pass my college but still I feel college is best thing since due to college you came in my life. I feel just one thing if you want to become Doctor then turn into psychiatrist you are so nice. World need people like you to become psychiatrist or world will become mad one day like me." After two years Pooja went for MBBS in another college near her home. She went away from Shital. But she always remembered her words. She decided to become a good psychiatrist. Soon she understood that Shital had to quit her college. Shital was staying just in home now. She didn't manage to get much better. But still Pooja kept chatting with her and Shital managed to answer her every day. Shital kept telling about her mood swings. Soon Shital joined one normal diploma course. She managed to get a nice job. Shital decided that she never wanted to marry. She was too scared. But she was still scared that she would one day commit suicide like her Mom. But Pooja kept telling her every time that she didn't need to worry one day science might find way to cure her wrong genes and Shital always sent smiley in answer.
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