First ray of sun light
Rajani looked out of window. It was nice weather outside. It was really perfect day to take walk. She looked out but then she suddenly remembered that there was files in her cupboard to clear. Any way now a days she felt strange pain in leg when she decide to take walk. Her legs were not as strong as they once use to do. She was feeling every year of her age. She just didn't want to go out. She decided that it could wait after all she had to keep her dates properly. She looked at her files. She could sense that she was far ahead in work. She looked out again. Weather was really nice. She felt that she might enjoy it. Then she remembered that when she last time got viral infection. It took her so many days to recover. She might need some more files to be cleared. She had to work little hard. She started once again clearing her files. It was such a long time since she managed to go out. She remembered once they all used to go out. Her husband and her daughter. She still started laughing when she remembered those memories. Those memories are like some broken mirror in which she loved to see her reflection which might not be perfect for her but still it had that power hidden inside. But whenever she tried to touch it hurt her. She began to remember her husband's painful death. It was horrible. She just couldn't let her daughter Janvi stay with them. They had to send her in hostel which didn't even proved great for her. Her daughter started to get independent. In fact too independent for her preference. Hostel had it's benefits and losses. She became disciplined but now she didn't share every thing with her Mom. It was not even her mistake. Rajani was so stressed due to sickness of her husband. Janvi must had felt it. She never wanted to burden her with any trouble but when Rajani's husband died due to cancer. Suddenly every thing started to feel so empty in that house. Rajani wanted Janvi to stay back with her. But Rajani sensed that Janvi was too attached with hostel now. She wanted to complete her education there only. So Rajani had to adjust. She had to stay alone. At beginning it used to scare and hurt but now she got used to it. But she just never wanted to go back to those memories. It really hurt when she remembered those painful days. In end every thing was just worst and their life never went back to normal since Janvi never became that old Janvi who used to run to Mom for every problem. She just started staying at home due to her husband's need. She did her all work from house. Every thing was perfect. But then slowly she began to feel that she might had to visit her office sometimes. Now a days her boss was indirectly demanding it. He was right after all her husband was died so why did she had to stay at home now? She knew that she must go. But then she would decide it later on. At this point she just wanted to complete her work. She started talking with her junior on phone. She did every thing in such a perfect way on phone. She could admire them on phone. She could scold them. She just became best boss on phone. But she had to go and visit them after few days. She knew that she must go out of that house now.
Rajani called once again on phone. But this time her Boss insisted that she must came in office. Boss " Rajani this is time of your promotion. You must not ignore it. I know you must be sad but think about it. You are just locked in that home for years." "Not years. Just two years before that I use to go out." "Where in market to buy vegetables? So you even skip that now." "Actually I ..got one vendor who give me fresh vegetables.." "I don't want to discuss that. I just want you to come office. I want you to sit on my chair when I retire. You are best for all so I am sending my car and you are coming." "But??" "No. But. Just remain ready driver will come in few hours." Boss just disconnected phone. She knew that she had to go in office but now a days she hated going out. She felt so safe in her home. She was scared of every thing including cars when she went outside. But she knew that she had to go so she went in her room to get ready for it. She didn't want to dress in shabby way to embarrass her boss. She got ready but she was so nervous. She knew that she was just going to meet those people whom she met every day on phone. But still she was nervous. When her bell rang, she could clearly sense her heart beat. She was so tense. On some moment she felt as if she was having fever. Her head was getting that strange kind of light feel. She wanted to feel perfect but still she felt as if she was going to have fever. When she opened door, a friendly driver came before her. That driver was new one but he was giving friendly smile. She was so scared from heart. She just didn't understood of what. She got out. She gave a nice sweet and kind smile to driver and sat in car. She was so glad that this driver didn't sense her fear. She just managed to create best drama on every point in mind out of small issue. She wanted to tell her mind that it was nothing big every thing would be just fine. But her mind just kept scaring her. She finally started watching out of that window. She looked around but still she kept feeling that strange kind of fear. It was not right. She began to feel still that fever. She just wished that she was at least physically fit. Her mental troubles could have handle. Then suddenly her phone rang. She took that phone. It was Janvi. Now she had to take it. Rajani "Hello Janvi.." "Mom I need some money." "For what?" "My god!! Can't you trust me? I want to go in some party with my friends." "Friends?!! Who are them?" "Mom stop it. If I want to do some thing here, I can do it while lying to you. I am acting in nice way. You can't stop me from going somewhere since I have few boys in my group. Are you going to do that?" Now Rajani hated this conversation. She felt need of her husband on this point. If only he was alive and well, he could have handled it so well. They both always handled every thing like team. But now she was alone. She sensed so much sorrow. But she didn't want stress herself now and she knew that she couldn't stop Janvi so she just said " Do as you wish. I will send Rs. 2000/-" "2000?--Mom it is nothing." "I can't afford more. Bye. I am going in office so don't call now. After all we need to earn more." "Of course Mom. We need lot more. Only I wish if Dad would have been alive, we never face such financial clutches." Rajani could feel tears in her eyes. Janvi was missing her Dad for his money. She couldn't understand. But then she felt she was judging her daughter in wrong way. She was just trying to hide her feelings. Janvi " Bye Mom. All the best." Finally that conversation was over. It made Rajani feel worst about every thing. She just wanted to perform her best in office. She tried to relax herself. She started chanting prayer of god to relax herself.
When Rajani went inside, she first realised that every thing was totally unknown to her. She kept looking around. She just felt it was unknown place. But every one was looking at her with smile. One thing was clear that they all knew her very well. She sensed then from heart. They were those people with whom she talked on so many times. She knew that she also needed to feel same friendliness. On phones so many times she said so many things. She sensed their sorrows and troubles. She advised them on so many times. She was always there for them. She was like family to them. She did every thing her best. But now she hardly wanted to talk with them. Still they all seemed to interested in talking with her. She just needed to pretend. But she didn't want to pretend. She just wanted to run away from there. But she knew that it was not possible. She had to face it. She gave that artificial smile and kept talking. She just knew somewhere in her heart. She was once again shivering. She could sense that her head was light. Soon she created some excuse and she told them that she had to meet Boss. She went in cabin. She sensed one thing that her head was too light due to conversation with those people. She didn't want to see their faces again. Boss " What happened? Are you alright? I mean I have waited so long to meet you. All office is so excited about you. Every time you give them any suggestion. It just suit them. Many even managed their personal life with your suggestions. You are just miracle for them. Now I am retiring and they all set mind that you must become their boss. You are so lucky. I am jealous of you. No one welcomed me this way on any single day of life the way they do to you. But they are planning send off with full enthusiasm. But I am sure they cry on your send off. Lucky you!!!" Her Boss started laughing. One thing was clear. He was so happy with his plans. But she was not happy with her thoughts. She didn't want to stay in that office. She wanted just to be back in her home. Rajani " I am feeling little bit sick. I mean sort of fever." Her Boss was shocked. " You didn't told me." "Actually I was fine when you called. Then slowly I start.." " I will call Doctor." "No..No.." "No excuses. We have Doctor just near office." Boss immediately called Doctor who came after some time. He checked her in details. Doctor " She is just fine. I feel her blood pressure was little high due to her anxiety. Are you tense regarding something?" "No. Not at all." Boss looked confused now. Doctor wrote her medicine. " Take them. These are medicine you should take as per my instructions. I feel you will be fine after them. But you feel like this again. Then we will think about further treatment." Rajani just nodded. She was so scared. Boss " I will call driver. Just go home and take rest. We will talk about your joining later on. Don't hurry up just for promotion. I will take care of it. Just take your own time recover then you can join." She stood and nodded. But she was not feeling okay at all. She was feeling so sick. She felt going to car was so hard. She was so glad when she finally managed to reach home. She just went inside and slept on her bed. She didn't even thought about preparing any thing for lunch. She decided that she might also take one pill recommended for her while she had stress. She used to take it when her husband used to scream and she just wanted to sleep. She just slept so deeply. She felt as if she was in another world, she was glad to go in it. She was to just relax. She wanted to go far away from every tension and stress. That sleep was doing it for her so she slept peacefully.
When Rajani woke up, she was fine. Then she heard mobile ring. She hated so much to take that phone. Once upon time Janvi used to be so nice. But now she was so over demanding. Rajani just hated to take her phone. In fact she was scared of phone ring. When she heard that ring, she just sensed one thing. She felt as if some lightening was falling on her. She looked around. As if she expected some one else to take her phone. She knew that no one was there. She had to take that phone. She took it in hand. She was glad when she noticed that it was number of her Boss. Boss " Rajani how are you?" Rajani " I am fine." "So can you come today in office?" "But I have just came home from office?" " Rajani have you lost sense of time?" Rajani looked around. She was so shocked. She must had slept for long time. Actually now a days she hardly slept. Rajani " Actually I have overslept." " Overslept? That was understatement. You have slept at least for 24 hours." "Actually I took some pills." " I can guess that. I want to talk to you. Can you come to office or I have to come at your home?" Ragini " No need. I will come tomorrow. " She said that then she disconnected mobile. She kept looking at him. She began to shut off mobile. She felt so glad when she switched it off. She didn't want to hear from any one. She decided to stay away from all. She just wanted to relax in her house. She felt so scared on every point. She was no longer interested going out. She kept sensing one thought from mind. She could hurt by any thing from outside. Then she thought that what was remaining in her life. She didn't need to feel scared of death. But she was scared to become sick and sleep on bed for entire life. In accident anything can happen to you? She didn't want to think about it. She took perfect care of her husband. But her daughter Janvi, she just didn't want to imagine her condition. She never wanted to be that sick. She wanted to be safe at home. After all her home was safest place. She took care of every thing. She managed to use every right thing. She went again to computer and phone. But then she felt scared. She couldn't work now. But then she felt that if she continue working her Boss might call her. She didn't want to go in office. She just felt so scared but she couldn't quit like that. She knew that she needed money. She was so confused. She started working. She just kept doing it. She was clearing one file after another. She was doing it in great way. She kept sending them. She just hoped that her Boss would not fire her after this. She just kept doing this for one week. She was so careful about every thing. Her house was locked properly. She kept every thing natural. She didn't want cancer to enter in her life. She tried her best to keep away. She start to understand every way which could hurt her health. She just kept doing every thing. There was so big argument between them regarding it. Janvi was screaming that she was investing too much on those healthy products. Janvi felt that she was spending too much on every part of house. She just couldn't believe it. After all health is wealth. Janvi needed to sense it. But Janvi never understood her. She just understood hostel and her friends in hostel. She needed to correct her ways. Rajani was so upset. She just kept doing her work on computer.
Then one day her door bell rang. Rajani was so scared. No one came to her house. Then she saw in keyhole. Her Boss was standing with some one. She was so scared. But she could sensed one determination on her Boss's face. This man acted like her father in her time of needs. She had to take him inside. She opened door. Boss looked at her with tense face. Boss " Can I come in?" " Of course. Come in." She said but she was shivering step by step. She started sensing it. She wanted to act normal. But one thing was sure that she was not normal. She was scared from heart regarding every thing. She took them inside. Then she tried to offer tea or coffee to them. But her word just didn't come out. She just managed to make some strange sound. It was so wrong. Boss " Just relax. I have came here to chat with you. Sit here." That man who had came with her Boss offered her chair. She just sat in it. It was all so wrong some unknown person came to her home for first time and now offering her a chair. She could sensed that this fellow even went in Kitchen. She didn't want any way to contaminate her Kitchen. But she was not in condition to tell it. Soon that person offered her a glass of cold water. She was so scared. She accepted it. Then finally they sat. Boss " I have come here to tell you. What last time happen to you in office?" "What am I sick? My god!! Now I don't want to be sick. Who will take care of me? I just want to die before I fall on that bed. Oh God take me away." That man who was unknown sat beside Boss. " Relax. You are fine in physical way. You are having mental trouble." "What? I don't understand." " You spend too much time in this house while caring for your husband. You didn't go out or enjoy your life. Now relax you know that you did your duty and that was your love and you did a great job. But even after doing some great work people get injured. Like if you did some fight for truth, then you get hurt. You are hurt same way. You fought your fight against cancer of your husband and sadly you lost it." "I know it from beginning and I have accepted it." " Now stop lying to yourself. Until his last breathe you have some hope in your heart but then slowly you lost them. But still you wanted to change it all. You wanted him to be happy and peaceful." Suddenly Rajani became angry. " Was it my crime that I want happiness for my family and that dam cancer took it all from us. He was screaming many times when I gave painkiller he slept peacefully but like some log. His soul was taken away from cancer. I just wanted all to be fine." "But it is over now. Still somewhere in your heart you still feel fear of it alive and you are diverting it to every direction. Some times it is on going out in office and sometimes regarding your health. In medical term it called Generalized Anxiety Disorder. You need psychological treatment." "So I need to visit Doctor again. I hate hospital now." That fellow smiled. " Relax I am not that bad." " You are Doctor?" " Yes I am your psychiatrist. So I will treat you." Then he gave his card. " You can come to my private clinic. It will be friendly and personal. I promise." His smile took away some of fears from Rajani's heart. She nodded. She knew that fees might be high. But she sensed one thing her cost of living would be reduced after this. She just needed that psychiatrist. When Boss and psychiatrist went out. Her Boss returned again. Boss " Please visit this Doctor. I have manage to get few months extension by telling my Boss that you are busy with some household work. But in six months you just have to join office." Rajani looked scared. " Six months." But suddenly that psychiatrist came and said " Come on. Don't look scared we can do it." He took out his hand to shake it with Rajani. She smiled and shook hand with him in friendly way. After all they had long way to walk in their treatment but she could sensed one thing. He would cure her. She once again started sense of hope in her life. It seemed like some ray of sunlight. She smiled happily. Then she first time opened her window after her husband's death.
The End
Rajani looked out of window. It was nice weather outside. It was really perfect day to take walk. She looked out but then she suddenly remembered that there was files in her cupboard to clear. Any way now a days she felt strange pain in leg when she decide to take walk. Her legs were not as strong as they once use to do. She was feeling every year of her age. She just didn't want to go out. She decided that it could wait after all she had to keep her dates properly. She looked at her files. She could sense that she was far ahead in work. She looked out again. Weather was really nice. She felt that she might enjoy it. Then she remembered that when she last time got viral infection. It took her so many days to recover. She might need some more files to be cleared. She had to work little hard. She started once again clearing her files. It was such a long time since she managed to go out. She remembered once they all used to go out. Her husband and her daughter. She still started laughing when she remembered those memories. Those memories are like some broken mirror in which she loved to see her reflection which might not be perfect for her but still it had that power hidden inside. But whenever she tried to touch it hurt her. She began to remember her husband's painful death. It was horrible. She just couldn't let her daughter Janvi stay with them. They had to send her in hostel which didn't even proved great for her. Her daughter started to get independent. In fact too independent for her preference. Hostel had it's benefits and losses. She became disciplined but now she didn't share every thing with her Mom. It was not even her mistake. Rajani was so stressed due to sickness of her husband. Janvi must had felt it. She never wanted to burden her with any trouble but when Rajani's husband died due to cancer. Suddenly every thing started to feel so empty in that house. Rajani wanted Janvi to stay back with her. But Rajani sensed that Janvi was too attached with hostel now. She wanted to complete her education there only. So Rajani had to adjust. She had to stay alone. At beginning it used to scare and hurt but now she got used to it. But she just never wanted to go back to those memories. It really hurt when she remembered those painful days. In end every thing was just worst and their life never went back to normal since Janvi never became that old Janvi who used to run to Mom for every problem. She just started staying at home due to her husband's need. She did her all work from house. Every thing was perfect. But then slowly she began to feel that she might had to visit her office sometimes. Now a days her boss was indirectly demanding it. He was right after all her husband was died so why did she had to stay at home now? She knew that she must go. But then she would decide it later on. At this point she just wanted to complete her work. She started talking with her junior on phone. She did every thing in such a perfect way on phone. She could admire them on phone. She could scold them. She just became best boss on phone. But she had to go and visit them after few days. She knew that she must go out of that house now.
Rajani called once again on phone. But this time her Boss insisted that she must came in office. Boss " Rajani this is time of your promotion. You must not ignore it. I know you must be sad but think about it. You are just locked in that home for years." "Not years. Just two years before that I use to go out." "Where in market to buy vegetables? So you even skip that now." "Actually I ..got one vendor who give me fresh vegetables.." "I don't want to discuss that. I just want you to come office. I want you to sit on my chair when I retire. You are best for all so I am sending my car and you are coming." "But??" "No. But. Just remain ready driver will come in few hours." Boss just disconnected phone. She knew that she had to go in office but now a days she hated going out. She felt so safe in her home. She was scared of every thing including cars when she went outside. But she knew that she had to go so she went in her room to get ready for it. She didn't want to dress in shabby way to embarrass her boss. She got ready but she was so nervous. She knew that she was just going to meet those people whom she met every day on phone. But still she was nervous. When her bell rang, she could clearly sense her heart beat. She was so tense. On some moment she felt as if she was having fever. Her head was getting that strange kind of light feel. She wanted to feel perfect but still she felt as if she was going to have fever. When she opened door, a friendly driver came before her. That driver was new one but he was giving friendly smile. She was so scared from heart. She just didn't understood of what. She got out. She gave a nice sweet and kind smile to driver and sat in car. She was so glad that this driver didn't sense her fear. She just managed to create best drama on every point in mind out of small issue. She wanted to tell her mind that it was nothing big every thing would be just fine. But her mind just kept scaring her. She finally started watching out of that window. She looked around but still she kept feeling that strange kind of fear. It was not right. She began to feel still that fever. She just wished that she was at least physically fit. Her mental troubles could have handle. Then suddenly her phone rang. She took that phone. It was Janvi. Now she had to take it. Rajani "Hello Janvi.." "Mom I need some money." "For what?" "My god!! Can't you trust me? I want to go in some party with my friends." "Friends?!! Who are them?" "Mom stop it. If I want to do some thing here, I can do it while lying to you. I am acting in nice way. You can't stop me from going somewhere since I have few boys in my group. Are you going to do that?" Now Rajani hated this conversation. She felt need of her husband on this point. If only he was alive and well, he could have handled it so well. They both always handled every thing like team. But now she was alone. She sensed so much sorrow. But she didn't want stress herself now and she knew that she couldn't stop Janvi so she just said " Do as you wish. I will send Rs. 2000/-" "2000?--Mom it is nothing." "I can't afford more. Bye. I am going in office so don't call now. After all we need to earn more." "Of course Mom. We need lot more. Only I wish if Dad would have been alive, we never face such financial clutches." Rajani could feel tears in her eyes. Janvi was missing her Dad for his money. She couldn't understand. But then she felt she was judging her daughter in wrong way. She was just trying to hide her feelings. Janvi " Bye Mom. All the best." Finally that conversation was over. It made Rajani feel worst about every thing. She just wanted to perform her best in office. She tried to relax herself. She started chanting prayer of god to relax herself.
When Rajani went inside, she first realised that every thing was totally unknown to her. She kept looking around. She just felt it was unknown place. But every one was looking at her with smile. One thing was clear that they all knew her very well. She sensed then from heart. They were those people with whom she talked on so many times. She knew that she also needed to feel same friendliness. On phones so many times she said so many things. She sensed their sorrows and troubles. She advised them on so many times. She was always there for them. She was like family to them. She did every thing her best. But now she hardly wanted to talk with them. Still they all seemed to interested in talking with her. She just needed to pretend. But she didn't want to pretend. She just wanted to run away from there. But she knew that it was not possible. She had to face it. She gave that artificial smile and kept talking. She just knew somewhere in her heart. She was once again shivering. She could sense that her head was light. Soon she created some excuse and she told them that she had to meet Boss. She went in cabin. She sensed one thing that her head was too light due to conversation with those people. She didn't want to see their faces again. Boss " What happened? Are you alright? I mean I have waited so long to meet you. All office is so excited about you. Every time you give them any suggestion. It just suit them. Many even managed their personal life with your suggestions. You are just miracle for them. Now I am retiring and they all set mind that you must become their boss. You are so lucky. I am jealous of you. No one welcomed me this way on any single day of life the way they do to you. But they are planning send off with full enthusiasm. But I am sure they cry on your send off. Lucky you!!!" Her Boss started laughing. One thing was clear. He was so happy with his plans. But she was not happy with her thoughts. She didn't want to stay in that office. She wanted just to be back in her home. Rajani " I am feeling little bit sick. I mean sort of fever." Her Boss was shocked. " You didn't told me." "Actually I was fine when you called. Then slowly I start.." " I will call Doctor." "No..No.." "No excuses. We have Doctor just near office." Boss immediately called Doctor who came after some time. He checked her in details. Doctor " She is just fine. I feel her blood pressure was little high due to her anxiety. Are you tense regarding something?" "No. Not at all." Boss looked confused now. Doctor wrote her medicine. " Take them. These are medicine you should take as per my instructions. I feel you will be fine after them. But you feel like this again. Then we will think about further treatment." Rajani just nodded. She was so scared. Boss " I will call driver. Just go home and take rest. We will talk about your joining later on. Don't hurry up just for promotion. I will take care of it. Just take your own time recover then you can join." She stood and nodded. But she was not feeling okay at all. She was feeling so sick. She felt going to car was so hard. She was so glad when she finally managed to reach home. She just went inside and slept on her bed. She didn't even thought about preparing any thing for lunch. She decided that she might also take one pill recommended for her while she had stress. She used to take it when her husband used to scream and she just wanted to sleep. She just slept so deeply. She felt as if she was in another world, she was glad to go in it. She was to just relax. She wanted to go far away from every tension and stress. That sleep was doing it for her so she slept peacefully.
When Rajani woke up, she was fine. Then she heard mobile ring. She hated so much to take that phone. Once upon time Janvi used to be so nice. But now she was so over demanding. Rajani just hated to take her phone. In fact she was scared of phone ring. When she heard that ring, she just sensed one thing. She felt as if some lightening was falling on her. She looked around. As if she expected some one else to take her phone. She knew that no one was there. She had to take that phone. She took it in hand. She was glad when she noticed that it was number of her Boss. Boss " Rajani how are you?" Rajani " I am fine." "So can you come today in office?" "But I have just came home from office?" " Rajani have you lost sense of time?" Rajani looked around. She was so shocked. She must had slept for long time. Actually now a days she hardly slept. Rajani " Actually I have overslept." " Overslept? That was understatement. You have slept at least for 24 hours." "Actually I took some pills." " I can guess that. I want to talk to you. Can you come to office or I have to come at your home?" Ragini " No need. I will come tomorrow. " She said that then she disconnected mobile. She kept looking at him. She began to shut off mobile. She felt so glad when she switched it off. She didn't want to hear from any one. She decided to stay away from all. She just wanted to relax in her house. She felt so scared on every point. She was no longer interested going out. She kept sensing one thought from mind. She could hurt by any thing from outside. Then she thought that what was remaining in her life. She didn't need to feel scared of death. But she was scared to become sick and sleep on bed for entire life. In accident anything can happen to you? She didn't want to think about it. She took perfect care of her husband. But her daughter Janvi, she just didn't want to imagine her condition. She never wanted to be that sick. She wanted to be safe at home. After all her home was safest place. She took care of every thing. She managed to use every right thing. She went again to computer and phone. But then she felt scared. She couldn't work now. But then she felt that if she continue working her Boss might call her. She didn't want to go in office. She just felt so scared but she couldn't quit like that. She knew that she needed money. She was so confused. She started working. She just kept doing it. She was clearing one file after another. She was doing it in great way. She kept sending them. She just hoped that her Boss would not fire her after this. She just kept doing this for one week. She was so careful about every thing. Her house was locked properly. She kept every thing natural. She didn't want cancer to enter in her life. She tried her best to keep away. She start to understand every way which could hurt her health. She just kept doing every thing. There was so big argument between them regarding it. Janvi was screaming that she was investing too much on those healthy products. Janvi felt that she was spending too much on every part of house. She just couldn't believe it. After all health is wealth. Janvi needed to sense it. But Janvi never understood her. She just understood hostel and her friends in hostel. She needed to correct her ways. Rajani was so upset. She just kept doing her work on computer.
Then one day her door bell rang. Rajani was so scared. No one came to her house. Then she saw in keyhole. Her Boss was standing with some one. She was so scared. But she could sensed one determination on her Boss's face. This man acted like her father in her time of needs. She had to take him inside. She opened door. Boss looked at her with tense face. Boss " Can I come in?" " Of course. Come in." She said but she was shivering step by step. She started sensing it. She wanted to act normal. But one thing was sure that she was not normal. She was scared from heart regarding every thing. She took them inside. Then she tried to offer tea or coffee to them. But her word just didn't come out. She just managed to make some strange sound. It was so wrong. Boss " Just relax. I have came here to chat with you. Sit here." That man who had came with her Boss offered her chair. She just sat in it. It was all so wrong some unknown person came to her home for first time and now offering her a chair. She could sensed that this fellow even went in Kitchen. She didn't want any way to contaminate her Kitchen. But she was not in condition to tell it. Soon that person offered her a glass of cold water. She was so scared. She accepted it. Then finally they sat. Boss " I have come here to tell you. What last time happen to you in office?" "What am I sick? My god!! Now I don't want to be sick. Who will take care of me? I just want to die before I fall on that bed. Oh God take me away." That man who was unknown sat beside Boss. " Relax. You are fine in physical way. You are having mental trouble." "What? I don't understand." " You spend too much time in this house while caring for your husband. You didn't go out or enjoy your life. Now relax you know that you did your duty and that was your love and you did a great job. But even after doing some great work people get injured. Like if you did some fight for truth, then you get hurt. You are hurt same way. You fought your fight against cancer of your husband and sadly you lost it." "I know it from beginning and I have accepted it." " Now stop lying to yourself. Until his last breathe you have some hope in your heart but then slowly you lost them. But still you wanted to change it all. You wanted him to be happy and peaceful." Suddenly Rajani became angry. " Was it my crime that I want happiness for my family and that dam cancer took it all from us. He was screaming many times when I gave painkiller he slept peacefully but like some log. His soul was taken away from cancer. I just wanted all to be fine." "But it is over now. Still somewhere in your heart you still feel fear of it alive and you are diverting it to every direction. Some times it is on going out in office and sometimes regarding your health. In medical term it called Generalized Anxiety Disorder. You need psychological treatment." "So I need to visit Doctor again. I hate hospital now." That fellow smiled. " Relax I am not that bad." " You are Doctor?" " Yes I am your psychiatrist. So I will treat you." Then he gave his card. " You can come to my private clinic. It will be friendly and personal. I promise." His smile took away some of fears from Rajani's heart. She nodded. She knew that fees might be high. But she sensed one thing her cost of living would be reduced after this. She just needed that psychiatrist. When Boss and psychiatrist went out. Her Boss returned again. Boss " Please visit this Doctor. I have manage to get few months extension by telling my Boss that you are busy with some household work. But in six months you just have to join office." Rajani looked scared. " Six months." But suddenly that psychiatrist came and said " Come on. Don't look scared we can do it." He took out his hand to shake it with Rajani. She smiled and shook hand with him in friendly way. After all they had long way to walk in their treatment but she could sensed one thing. He would cure her. She once again started sense of hope in her life. It seemed like some ray of sunlight. She smiled happily. Then she first time opened her window after her husband's death.
The End
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