Counting clouds
Trupti felt so tense that she began to get restless. She wanted to receive admiration from Pradip. She wanted to feel positive about all. Pradip was someone whom she wanted to date but nothing was moving the way she wanted. She began to get feel upset. She knew that Pradip was interested in her but sometimes she felt that it was just her imagination. She was feeling so negative about everything these days. Trupti was trying hard to settle in her career of painting. She used beautiful colours to make each painting attractive. She kept looking towards every corner of painting carefully. People admired them but when it came to purchasing, they didn’t like them that much. No one was going to give her money. Trupti knew that these paintings were just for her entertainment. She knew that they were not going to give her any money. She felt so sad when she began to sense her life was stuck in strange way. She started her life on good terms. She wanted to feel positivity was far away from her. She needed someone in her life. On that point she noticed Pradip. Pradip had come down to play with kids. Pradip loved to play with children. It was pleasant experience for him. Pradip was enjoying it while she was watching it from window. She could see that how much he was enjoying himself. She was so happy. He looked towards her. He was so nice & he had good earnings too. She just wanted to him to express his interest. But he didn’t. He just kept smiling towards her. Then he suddenly got so tense. He looked around. She was so confused. She didn’t understand that he really smiled towards her or she imagined all. She was feeling so nervous. She didn’t understand what was actually happening. She decided that she could keep watching game even if he was not interested in it. She began to feel so nervous when she looked towards him. She just decided to look away. She began to observe those kids that were enjoying. She started to look down from gallery. She could observe those children & laugh. She began to feel so positive about everything. She started to laugh. She was so relaxed on that time her younger sister came in gallery. Her younger sister gave sweet smile to Pradip. She didn’t like it. She was very glad when Pradip decided to ignore it. Her younger sister Tina immediately said “Pradip is just working as professor in college. His entire income based on his father’s wealth. They inherited so much. His father was principal while he was just small employee of that college. He doesn’t even manage to get that position.” She wanted to argue but she didn’t. She knew that all supported Tina. They didn’t like Pradip. She didn’t want to go in details of that cause. Since she felt that she didn’t think like them. She liked all. She didn’t feel those who move in her circle were only good one & those who move in other people’s circle were bad one. But her family had that sort of thinking. She began to feel so sad & helpless. She didn’t understand why Tina needed to lecture her. She just decided to go inside. She didn’t say anything & went inside. She started going back but somewhere in her heart she felt so hurt. It was possible that Pradip might look in balcony & he could not see her. She felt so sad. She knew that he would see Tina. It was frustrating. Tina never permitted her to live her life. Tina always kept bossing around her. She wanted to cry but she didn’t. She knew that Pradip was not interested in her.
When Trupti went inside, she
immediately took out her canvas & began to paint on it. She wanted to add
all her dreams on it. She was carefully painting every corner with most care
& affection. She was adding her every emotion in it. She wanted her canvas
to become masterpiece & she decided that she needed to work on it. She felt
so hopeful during painting it. But then she suddenly felt totally hopeless. She
began to add different colours which were refreshing in that canvas. Each part
of that canvas looked so beautiful. She was so happy. She suddenly sensed that
she wanted to gift this canvas to Pradip. She knew that her family didn’t care
for her canvas except her mom. Her mom loved & admired them. But she knew
that her mom didn’t mind if she gifted one. She slowly took it & used one
newspaper to pack it. She carefully packed entire painting. She could sense
it’s beauty. That painting was so pleasant one. She began to feel so happy in
her mind by its beauty. She started to feel positive about it. She decided to
just keep one card with Pradip’s name & keep that canvas outside his house.
She slowly took that package. She was so scared but she knew that she was not
doing any crime. She could gift her painting to someone. She went in his
building & slowly kept her canvas outside his flat & ran away. She
began to feel positive about everything. She was glad that she got rid of one
painting. Her family was not so happy to see her house full of paintings. They
had many paintings. It was so upsetting for them. Then she came back. When she
was coming back suddenly her attention turned towards sky. She was so happy
when she observed those clouds. She began to feel new positivity & energy
inside her. She began to sense one route of hope. She smiled slowly &
looked towards sky for some time. She was so happy when she started counting
clouds. She used to count them same way with her grandmother. She used to sit
in window & used to count them for hours. Her maternal grandmother used to
live with them after her grandfather died. Her father didn’t like that
responsibility so he kept taunting her mom & her maternal grandmother. Her
maternal grandmother was not rich. But her maternal grandmother never said
anything. She always tolerated all. She kept reading or stitching something
whole time. Then she always used to count clouds with Trupti for hours. Trupti
enjoyed it. But after death of her maternal grandmother, she never sat in
window that way. She enjoyed watching clouds for hours. Today once again she
decided to look around. She began to look towards sky. She started to feel
positive on each moment. She wanted to see different designs of clouds in sky.
They were so promising. She once again started to imagine her world in sky. She
kept one canvas for Pradip. She wanted to tell it to someone. She began to look
in sky & started to tell it to her grandmother. She was so happy. On that
point suddenly Tina appeared. Tina gave her odd look & asked “Where is your
new painting?” She was so shocked. So,
Tina was observing her paintings. It was so odd that Tina was paying full
attention to her. She didn’t like it. She just said “She gave it to her
friend.” Tina nodded. Tina gave odd smile & said “Our Dad will be so happy.
He hated those paintings. They managed to absorb whole place of house.” She
nodded. She said “That’s why I try to gift them as soon as possible?! It was
wonderful when I manage to give away them & people like them.” Tina “Yes.
If you give free as gift, they will surely love them.” Trupti immediately
nodded. It was truth.
Trupti was so excited next day. She
came out in gallery to watch Pradip playing with boys. But no one came to play.
She didn’t understand why she didn’t receive any response from Pradip regarding
painting. She felt so upset. She finally came inside house. She continued with
her daily life. But in her mind, she was feeling so sad. She didn’t understand
why did Pradip acted like that. She decided that Pradip might be not interested
in her canvas. She kept going ahead. Slowly she began to watch clouds. She once
again started that game. Her Grandma used to tell her story about each cloud.
Now she knew that it was needed once again. Her Grandma was so precious to her.
She knew that her father hated her. Tina always considered her inferior. But
she loved her grandma. For her every gift which she got from her grandma was
important. Still her father always taught her to consider it low. So, she never
truly admired gifts of her grandma. Sometimes she felt that due to her father’s
teaching she never showed that respect to Grandma which she deserved. She kept
obeying her father. She was always taught that whatever time she spent on
Grandma was waste of time. Her father kept telling her that she needed to study
instead of wasting her time on her grandparents. It was so frustrating when she
remembered those thoughts now. Once she thought that she was doing right thing
by stopping those counting of clouds. But she had doubt. She tried her best to
do all in right way but still her father & all relatives remained unsatisfied.
She wanted to talk with Pradip now. She wanted to ask him about her canvas. She
wanted admiration from Pradip. He had become her only hope. She began to feel
so restless. She wanted to feel positive about all. But she kept getting upset.
She knew that he was not going to admire her painting. She was so restless. She
began to get tense. She wanted him to admire her painting. She decided that she
needed to wait during that time she would count clouds. She would keep watching
them for hours. She was feeling so upset by their shapes. She was so stressed.
She needed to keep looking in sky. She began to watch clouds. They were having
so different shapes. Those clouds were so unique. She kept counting them &
smiling. She didn’t even sense that she was doing it for hours. She started
counting them in morning & when evening arrived, she was still watching
them. She lost track of time. Finally, she came to her senses when her mom
called her. She came inside. Her mom shocked after looking towards her face.
Her face was sweating. Her mom “Why did you kept sitting in that hot weather
under sunlight? Look towards your face! It is looking so red & full of
rash.” “Mom it’s okay.” She was feeling so happy. She didn’t mind having some
reaction on her skin. She wanted to count clouds in sky. She smiled in pleasant
way. But her mom didn’t like reaction on her face. Mom began to look tense. Mom
asked her “What are you doing out in sun?” “I was counting clouds.” Her mom
suddenly looked tense. Mom “Pradip’s parents just came with his wedding
invitation.” She felt sad but she knew that it was coming. Then her mom added “His
parents thanked you for that beautiful canvas.” She nodded. She slowly went out
to meet his parents. They talked nicely. They described the girl they had
selected as daughter-in-law. She kept nodding happily. She was hurt but she
knew that Pradip’s parents needed a daughter-in-law who could bring connections.
Pradip was not clearly planning to go against their wishes so all was settled.
She smiled sadly when she sensed that the painting which she painted as gift of
love was going to be painting which they would hang in Pradip’s new bedroom. So,
it was one odd paradox of life. She kept smiling. But after that she went in
her room. She looked towards canvas. She was no longer interested in painting.
She didn’t want to fill place of house. She decided to sit in balcony &
began to watch sky. She liked that sky so much. She just wanted to keep
watching it. Slowly she started to feel so happy. She began to just sit in her
balcony for hours. She began to lose contact with reality. She just started
watching sky. One day finally her mom came in Balcony & told her “Let’s
go.” She was so lost in her clouds that she didn’t ask where. She knew that she
could see clouds outside house too. She got ready & went with mom. When she
reached hospital, she slowly asked “Who is sick?” Her mom said “You are!” She
felt so confused. She began to touch her forehead for fever. Her forehead was
not hot. She started to feel nervous. She was going to ask more questions to
her mom but she was immediately called inside by doctor. She went near room
& she read Psychiatrist. She was so upset. She didn’t want to go inside but
there was not much option. She needed to go. When she went inside, she didn’t
say anything. She started to search for window. But that window was not open.
She began to feel so upset. Then slowly her mom told all. Psychiatrist smiled.
He went towards window & opened it. Then he asked “Is it okay?” She nodded.
Her mom told to sit outside. Slowly she told all to Psychiatrist. Psychiatrist
called her mom back & told mom “Your daughter developed obsessive
compulsive disorder due to depression. But it’s nothing serious. It can be
cured after treatment.” Her mom felt so happy. She began to visit psychiatrist.
Slowly she began to create her own life. She created one room just for herself.
She began to try to sell her canvas. Only few got sold but still she began to
feel positive. Soon she began to date one of shopkeeper. In few months they
decided to get married. She didn’t completely stop watching clouds. But it was
reduced. Then one day she stopped her psychiatric treatment & after that
she soon got married. Even after her marriage she kept counting clouds with her
husband & her kids but it was a game which they all enjoyed. Her mental
problem never visited her.
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