Shivering
Chetan was nervous after so many days he was finally going to his old office. Once he used to work there. It was before that tragedy. He didn’t want to talk about it. But now he was ex employee. He still remembered how hard he used to work. His Boss kept screaming on all. His Boss was so strict but still he liked his Boss since when Boss was present all used to work & no one was interested in working when Boss was out of picture. He wanted all to work. He wanted his company to become successful. He was coming there after such long time. It looked so different. It was now changed. All managed to become modern. He was so excited to start all but sadly it didn’t work. He forced to take break. He didn’t want to think why. He wanted to hide his feelings & pains. He wanted to meet his Boss with smile. If possible he wanted to find a job opportunity. In his soul he felt so sad. He knew that his life was getting complicated on each step. He felt so sad when he began to remember his past. He slowly opened door of his office. He was sort of shocked. Office was nice from outside but inside of office was totally different. They used odd sort of advertisements to hide walls. It was looking so odd. He wanted to admire it but he couldn’t. He knew that those advertisements were important but he didn’t like the way every part of wall was hidden by them. He kept feeling so upset by it. He kept getting memories of old office. He took deep breath & smiled. He supposed to smile since it was not his mistake. He supposed to go inside & he needed to move ahead positively. He went inside. Soon he sensed everyone of that office was new. They didn’t know him. He was so shocked. He didn’t expected change in entire office. He thought that few people might change but all. He slowly went towards Boss’s Cabin then he felt that it was easily possible that Boss might be different too. On that point one fellow came & asked nicely “ What do you want Sir?” “ I am Chetan. I was ex employee.” “ Ohh sorry to inform you Sir but entire staff is changed. Actually this office is taken over by different company.” Chetan felt so tense. Chetan said “ I don’t know it. I will leave now.” That fellow nodded. Entire office was observing him in strange way. Finally Boss came & asked “ Who is it?” “One more old employee.” Boss “ They kept coming for salary. Why they didn’t understand their old Boss had ran away without making payment of salary?” Chetan was shocked. Chetan immediately told “ I am very old employee I took early retirement.” “ Ohh.” Then this new Boss came & smiled towards him. “ Who are you?” Chetan suddenly felt cold wave inside body. He just wanted to ran away. He said “ I will leave now.” Chetan literally rushed out of door. He was so nervous. He didn’t know about this. He was so upset. His Boss ran away without paying. He just wanted to go away. Chetan stood outside his old office to take breath & then once again he called Cab. He returned home. He was so scared. He looked around. In his home his family was busy with their routine. It seemed as if nothing was changed for them. For him all had changed. He went inside & asked wife “ When will you serve lunch?” She smiled & told timing. He nodded happily. He wanted to pretend that he was happy. He didn’t want to upset his family so he gave most sweet smile & went in his room. He suddenly began to shiver. He sensed that he must go inside before his children might notice it. He didn’t want anyone to sense that he was shivering. He knew that it was not easy to control his body reaction. Soon his teeth began to chatter. He literally rushed inside his room & closed door. He felt so nervous. He began to feel so sick. He must not feel sick. He kept telling himself that he didn’t need Doctor. He wanted to get okay immediately. He told himself that he was in some hot weather. He needed to feel that heat. He began to feel so restless. He wanted to control his body. He couldn’t stop shivering. Slowly his shivering became uncontrollable. He wanted to relax but his body was not responding. He didn’t understand what was happening to him. He sat on his bed for sometime. He started to think about positive moments of life. He was sure that they would stop this. Then he had enough. He just ran towards cupboard & began to search for sweater. He tried to take it out of cupboard but his hand was shaking so much that he couldn’t. That sweater fall down. He looked towards sweater which was lying on ground. He was so upset. He couldn’t steady himself at all. He slowly picked his sweater. He immediately started to wear it. He felt so nice. He looked in mirror towards his reflection. He was not looking young & energetic any more. He was looking so tired & old. He knew that he was not so healthy. Then he went towards mirror. He began to touch it. He could sense same sort of cold touch. He was feeling so nervous. He watched his face. He was looking so odd. He looked like some man who was living in cold weather permanently. His face was turning totally pale. He began to touch his skin. He felt that it was cold too. It was odd why he was feeling so cold. On that point his Wife Charu began to call him. He controlled himself. He smiled & went towards kitchen. His house was nice one. He inherited it from his parents. It was so pleasant. He began to look around in his house. It was big. He was lucky to have such big house. He told himself that he needed to count his positive stars in his sky of mind. He began to tell his mind new positive thoughts. He felt so happy but still he was feeling little cold. But he told himself that it was okay. He needed to keep smiling. He went in kitchen. Children were already ready for their schools. They just gave him odd look. One question was visible on their face that why he was wearing sweater but then they decided to ignore all. He began to feel so upset. He just sat on table. Charu gave him breakfast. But then she suddenly sensed that he was going in his old office. She wanted to ask questions but then she just smiled & resumed her cooking. He was very tense about it. He didn’t want to give answers.
Charu wanted to ask questions but since her sickness she understood that mood swings were common for her. She didn’t want to talk with Chetan. She didn’t want him to tell her how much he sacrificed due to her sickness. She wasn’t sure that it was because of her or since he caught in that fraud. She didn’t understand what actually happened there. He never told much. She was so sick. They needed money. He kept bringing it. She never asked him. But today she felt that he might had landed in this mess just because of her. She wanted get cured. She was cured but she was not so healthy. She kept getting tired. She kept having physical issues. It seemed as if she needed treatment continuously. She began to think sometimes death might had been better than demanding treatments like that in life. She was so upset. She started to feel so nervous slowly. She knew that she was not okay now even Chetan was not looking okay. He needed to stand strong. But then she told herself that all was happening due to her wrong thinking. Chetan was just little bit stressed. He began to get so normal after sometime. She told herself that everything was just fine. She was so stressed in her heart. She wanted to laugh & enjoy life. But it was not happening. She could see continuous fear in Chetan’s eyes. Then Chetan suddenly began to talk “ My old office was taken over!” She was so shocked. “ By whom?” “ I don’t know Boss ran away without paying salaries.” Chetan smiled. “ I told you he is a fraud man. He did lots of frauds.” She felt so guilty for suspecting him. She didn’t understand why she kept thinking that he did something wrong. They didn’t receive any extra money. She began to ask but then she noticed he was shivering. She felt so nervous. “ Are you alright?” “ I am just feeling little bit cold!” “ You are shivering not feeling just little bit cold.” Chetan didn’t say anything. Chetan knew that he was shivering without cause. He looked towards her. He said slowly “ Don’t worry I am fine.” She gave him his breakfast. He smiled & took spoon. His hand was shivering so that spoon started making noise on plate. He tried to create balance between his hand & spoon. He slowly began to eat. But he could sense all food wasn’t reaching to his mouth. He began to show off that he was fine. That effort was not helping much even he could sense it. He stopped eating. Charu slowly took out mobile & said “ Let me call Doctor.” He immediately said “ No..no why waste money?” He could see anger in her eyes. She was hurt. She said “ So you feel we have wasted money on me?” He didn’t say anything. He said “ I am fine.” He was stammering even he was saying those words. She immediately called Doctor. She told about his condition & took appointment. She said “ It’s better if we do all medical check up.” He felt so nervous but he agreed. She called Doctor & took appointment next available appointment . He decided that he didn’t needed to pretend any more so he said “ I am going to sleep.” She immediately agreed. Then he went in his room. This time he took some blankets too. He started to close his eyes & began to remember his childhood. It was pleasant time. Then he slowly began to remember all positive days of his life. He started to imagine a positivity in his life. Then he slowly began to get sleepy. His eyes became so heavy. He couldn’t open them. He knew that his dreams could help him. He closed his eyes & he once again went in his happy days. He was so happy in those moments he started smiling in sleep. He didn’t sense when he fall asleep. Charu came to see if he was properly sleeping with blankets in room. She was shocked to notice in his sleep he removed all his blankets. He was smiling. He was no longer feeling cold. It seemed that he was perfect in his sleep. He was no longer sick. He told himself that everything was fine. Charu felt this was odd. For first time she began to feel that it’s not physical issue. She knew that she saw many times Chetan was getting restless. He couldn’t stand still. He looked so pale. Then she began to think that person couldn’t look pale just due to mental sickness. She decided that she did right thing by taking appointment. She knew that it would impact budget. But she wanted her husband to be fine. She started to look in her bank account & credit cards. She had some cash for emergency too. She began to total all. She sensed that she could manage it if she reduced her few expenses. She decided that she could skip her few luxuries like some costly items which ordered from restaurants could be removed. She told herself that it was going to be hard to convince kids but she didn’t have much option. On that point her daughter came & she declared “ Mom we need to stop those restaurant items. My weight is increased so much.” Charu was so happy but still Charu said “ But honey you love those pastries..” “ Mom no fast food for me.” Charu nodded. Now budget was reduced like a miracle . Charu was so happy. Now she needed to purchase fast food just for her younger daughter. When her younger daughter came. Charu convinced her easily to shift to home made food. So all managed to get settle. Charu was so happy that she managed her budget. Then she looked towards clock. It was time to go for her night shift. She worked at night shift in her office. It gave her more earnings. She was so happy by it. Before her illness she was just housewife but after her illness all was changed. She got this job. She didn’t want to sleep in her house while watching towards ceiling & walls in darkness of night & thinking what if her illness returned. She shivered. She didn’t want to think about it. She was about to cook dinner when Chetan came. Chetan “ Don’t worry I will cook something.” “ But you were not feeling okay.” “ I am fine now. Just sleeping doesn’t solve anything. I am not expert but girls like my cooking.” She smiled sweetly & said “ You are great cook & great Dad. Don’t worry about your skills.” He smiled sweetly. Then he took over kitchen & she went in room to get ready for work. She was working very hard & getting nice increments. But still due to these medical bills life seemed so much problematic. She knew that she could handle it. So she began to get ready step by step.
Chetan began to work in kitchen. He could handle entire house perfectly now. He suddenly sensed that all restaurants food vanished. He was about to call when his daughter came & declared “ I am on diet so cook simple food for me.” Then she returned to her studies. He was happy since this saved budget & cooking simple food was easy but he was tense about younger daughter but on that point he saw Charu homemade spicy & tasty delicacies. He was so happy. He immediately started to heat them. He knew that he needed to just heat & then his younger daughter would be happy so Charu managed to make his cooking easy. Then he began to do other household work. He began to iron clothes then fold them. He managed to handle entire house in best way. His daughters were happy around him. He could sense their happiness but at same time he sensed his fear. He was feeling so cold whole time. He might be falling sick. He was so scared of sickness. He wanted to be healthy. He didn’t want to waste money on his sickness. They spent so much on Charu’s sickness. He didn’t want to mention it. His old job was worst thing. He never took any money but he did whatever his Boss told him. He knew that few things were not exactly right but he needed job & most importantly he tried to tell superior but his superior had more faith on his Boss so he began to do all. He knew that it was wrong but if company owner permitted all wrong what right he had to object it. But he didn’t like it. He worked for long time. Until finally he had enough. He complained to superior but he got warning instead of his Boss. Then his Boss gave him large sum & told “ You must resign. I can sense you are too truthful not suitable for this job.” He didn’t say anything. He took that cheque & resigned. Now he knew that his Boss ran away. He was so scared. He knew that other employees didn’t got salary what if one of them caught him when he went outside. He shivered with fear. He knew that he was sick so he was not going out today. He wanted to protest but face of his Boss kept coming before him.His Boss was telling again & again that “ If you target me there will be results we will face consequences but you will be destroyed. You need to understand my power.” Then his Boss made a gesture which could tell him that his Boss had people who could eliminate risks like him. His Boss didn’t say anything but gestures of his Boss. Chetan shivered. He told himself that it was past. His Boss was no longer his Boss. He was just man who had ran away. He told himself that his Boss couldn’t harm him now. He was thinking about it when his daughter called him “ Daddy will you give me a cup of juice please?” He immediately agreed. He could do juice in no time & he wanted healthy food for his daughters. He loved taking care of his girls. He could see affection & love in their eyes which was precious for him. He wanted nothing more. He asked his younger daughter “ Do you want juice?” “ No Dad my stomach is full.” “ Come on. It’s healthy.” “ No Dad please!” He smiled & made just one glass of juice. He gave it to his elder daughter. He kept his smile. But his hands were shivering again. His elder daughter immediately ran towards him & checked his forehead for temperature. His daughter “ You don’t have temperature then why you are shivering?” His younger daughter also came running. He could see tears in their eyes. Charu was cured but still fear of her sickness wasn’t gone. They kept feeling scared what if it returned. Now when they noticed their Dad was sick too it was worst for them. He smiled & said “ Don’t worry. I am just fine. This is normal thing.” His elder daughter “ This isn’t normal. I call Mom.” “ No need. She knew!” He answered little bit angrily. He wanted to close subject but younger daughter immediately asked “ & Mom went to office without doing anything?” He said angrily “ Don’t talk like that about her.” His younger daughter started to cry slowly. His elder daughter gave nervous smile & said “ She didn’t mean that way. She is just scared.” He slowly hugged his daughter & smiled. “ Your Mom took appointment for check up. She is just like you. Over protective.” His younger daughter smiled. Then he said “ We got appointment after three days.” “ Three days?” “ This isn’t emergency. Come on. I am fine.” He was trying his best to convince them with smile. But in his heart he was scared too. He hoped that it was nothing serious. Then his daughters returned to TV. He went back to his work. But he was still shivering. Now he didn’t need to pretend so he went in room & started wearing all things which he bought for winter vacations. He looked like someone who was standing in ice. But he didn’t care. He was feeling normal. His daughters began to get so tense. Finally when he became busy in kitchen. His elder daughter called Charu while younger one was looking towards her since she wanted every detail. “ Mom what is wrong with Dad? Why he is shivering like that?” Charu didn’t understand how to answer it but she just said “ We have taken appointment of full health check up Doctor will tell us.” “ But don’t we need emergency appointment?” Charu began to get confused now. Charu said “ I feel tomorrow I just take him to hospital. That appointment can be canceled.” “ Great!” After listening to this younger one also smiled. Finally they were relaxed since Charu understood seriousness of situation. That day Chetan went to sleep early. His daughters didn’t have much demands from him. He was shivering so much. He was happy to finally go to sleep. In his sleep he once again removed all clothes which were making him warm. He was feeling so hot. He was sweating. His daughters came to watch him in sleep they were shocked to see this change. He was acting odd & his daughters began to sense it too.
When Charu came home instead of going to sleep she woke up Chetan & declared that they were going to Doctor. She told all that she called Doctor in morning & he gave emergency appointment so no need to visit hospital directly. They all nodded. But their daughters wanted them to go to hospital. They didn’t trust this Doctor. “ Mom just take him to hospital.” Chetan “ No need Doctor can cure me!” Charu was confused but Chetan insisted on visiting family Doctor. They went there. Their family Doctor checked & gave normal medicine. According to Doctor Chetan was perfect. Doctor “ It might be some viral infection.” She nodded. But she was not convinced. By those medicines nothing got better. Chetan started having horrible rashes due to wearing woollen clothes in heat but still he kept wearing due to cold. Finally their daughters insisted on hospital & one day entire family went to hospital with Chetan. They made Chetan’s case file. Then they did few tests & told to come next day for more tests. So Chetan kept going for tests. He felt nothing was going to happen. When he was hopeless one day Doctor called him. He sat nervously before Doctor. Doctor smiled nicely & said “ I feel I need to send your file to other Doctor.” He felt so scared. “ What happened to me? Am I going to die?” Doctor laughed. Doctor “ You are physically perfect but mentally you are disturbed. You need to reduce your fear then this shivering will stop.” He couldn’t believe this. “ You are saying I am shivering since I am scared?” “ Yes sort of! Let’s arrange Psychiatrist’s appointment for you. When you like to visit?” “ I will go even today.” Doctor smiled & said “ Let me check.” Doctor talked & said “ Can you wait for two hours? You can get appointment after two hours.” He nodded. Then he waited. Finally he went inside. He immediately began to talk he told all. Psychiatrist said “ Tell me all don’t hide anything.” He nodded then he told everything including about his last job & last Boss. Psychiatrist nodded. “ It’s fear that planted by that Boss which is causing issue.” Psychiatrist wrote down some medicines. “ You can take them for sometime. They will reduce Anxiety.” Then Psychiatrist told when he supposed to come. He came back with those medicines. He told all to Charu. He took his medicines & his shivering stopped. He felt so relaxed. He knew that it was temporary due to medicines & Charu warned him to complete treatment. Charu “ I want you to get cure not addicted to medicines.” He agreed immediately. They needed to handle budget but their daughters agreed happily. For them Chetan’s health was important & most importantly while taking this treatment Psychiatrist taught him to handle fear about Charu’s health too. He was now ready to enjoy his each day without thinking about worst future. Since he didn’t know what was his future but he knew his present so he learnt to enjoy it.
The End
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