Replica of sister
Rajat was watching her carefully. She was standing on corner of gallery. She was looking so pretty. She was so nice. He wanted her smile. He knew that with her one smile all was going to change. He was watching her daily. He knew that she returned his every smile. She was such a decent lady. He was so happy to have her as neighbour in gallery of next building. She always seemed positive way for him. She was replica of his elder sister. His sister! He was very small when she was drown in river. He didn’t know what was details he just knew that no one discussed about her. He always loved her. This woman was so much like her. He kept watching her. That day suddenly that woman screamed “ What is your name?” He screamed out “ Rajat!” She smiled & then said “ Su..” he couldn’t hear it but he felt that it must be Supriya. His sister’s name was Supriya. He knew that she had same name. He smiled. She started looking towards him with expectation of further talking but he was so confused. He didn’t understand what he supposed to discuss. She was so much like his sister Supriya. Then suddenly her Mom called her inside. She went running. He was feeling so sad & upset. He hated the way her Mom kept telling her to do some work. He began to feel that she was not her Mom. Otherwise how could she kept calling her on every time? He started to go inside. She was special to him. His parents were busy in their work. He always sat alone in house. Once his grandmother used to stay but now she was dead too. He was all alone. He was so tense about it. He kept watching gallery. He started to look out of window. He could see that woman. Supriya! It was her name. He wanted to talk with her. He decided that he needed to go to her home. He started to get dressed. He looked into mirror. It was looking decent. Then he sensed that his shirt was little bit too bright. He decided to go for light cream colour. He started to get dress & watch in mirror. He was looking perfect. He was feeling so happy. He was looking so decent. He went down with confidence. He asked watchman about their flat. Then he went in it. He was so confident. He rang door bell. Her Mom gave suspicious look. But he introduced himself nicely & told that he was chatting with their daughter for long time in Balcony. He said that it was looking odd so he decided to meet entire family. They were neighbours so it would be nice to know each other. Her Mom smiled. Mom “ Ohh you are the one who was talking with my daughter!” “ Yes..yes I saw her daily from gallery doing..” her Mom luckily answered herself “ Painting?!” “ Yes...yes it was so lovely. So I thought I might discuss.” Her Mom smiled “ Come here to see paintings & discuss all. Don’t talk with Sumitra so loudly. People would take it in wrong way.” He nodded. He actually didn’t care what people thought but he was upset that her name was not Supriya. She was not named after his sister. Sumitra came out. She gave shy smile. He looked towards her. He was so confused. He could be like his sister but she was not like her. He knew that he needed to go home as soon as possible. He began to ask about paintings. He didn’t look towards her. He kept watching paintings. Sumitra was upset but her Mom was happy. Then he finally decided one painting. It was wonderful farm. It reminded him of his childhood dream. “ I loved this one. What is it’s cost?” Her Mom told him cost. It was big. But he knew that he couldn’t pay so much. He made sad face. “ Sorry but too much for me. I am not earning that much now.” Her Mom clearly looked angry. Sumitra looked confused. He immediately left house. In fact he felt that if he had not gone Sumitra’s Mom should have thrown him out of house. He literally ran out of house. He sensed one thing that he made mistake. She was not like Supriya. She was not like his sister. He sat on garden bench. He knew that he needed to find her. He knew that she was burnt. They didn’t keep body. They burnt it. But he wanted to see her last time. His parents didn’t agree. They said that her body was damaged. Then they went ahead with their life. They talked about giving birth to one more child but it didn’t appear. One day he saw in movie adoption. He kept waiting to discuss it with parents but they didn’t have time. Finally one day after a month he managed to find some time when they could discuss. He said “ I am waiting for month to talk with you. I am so glad finally you got time.” They both smiled. Grandmother was in kitchen on that time. He said “ Other day I saw movie.” “ You want movie theatre in home?” Dad asked. Then Dad added “ My all friends have it let’s just bring one.” Mom showed fake anger & said “ Don’t waste money.” Dad smiled & said “ It is for using only. Let’s buy it.” He was so shocked. He screamed “ But I wanted a sister!” They both looked towards him & started laughing so loudly. He was so shocked. He didn’t expected this. Then slowly they controlled themselves. Then Mom patted on his cheek & said “ Honey we can’t give enough time to you how could we manage to give time to this new baby?” He was so upset. Dad “ raising baby is not joke. We must be careful when we decide to do it. For us one child is enough.” “ But I want one sister.” They both were trying to hide their smile. Mom slowly controlled herself & said “Honey you are grown up now. Don’t be childish. We can’t plan baby now.” “ I am not talking about baby. I am talking about big girl. We can adopt a child.” “ You can’t & we are not planning to do it.” His Dad said who was no longer thrilled by discussion. His Dad “ I heard enough of this nonsense. We don’t want bigger family.” He wanted to argue but his Dad’s angry eyes told him to stop it. He just kept looking towards food in his plate. He wanted to argue. He wanted to tell them how much they hurt him by not showing dead body of Supriya. But he didn’t he kept all to himself. Now he kept searching for her. He knew that she was dead but still he wanted her in someone. He wanted someone who could become his sister but this girl was clearly not right choice. He took inhale deeply & stood up from bench. Then he went back in his flat.
Sumitra was watching him from balcony. She didn’t like him anymore. It was so strange. He encouraged her hopes. She was hundred percent sure that he couldn’t see her paintings from gallery. She never kept her window open while painting. It was literally impossible to view paintings from such long range. He was watching her. But he suddenly chickened out when he came here. He didn’t seem like shy boy. He came in her house with such bravery. He didn’t seem scared. Then he suddenly asked about paintings. She didn’t want to discuss it but she began to feel upset. She returned to her painting. But her heart was so hurt. She couldn’t make proper painting. She wanted everything to be perfect. But she sensed that nothing was perfect. Her painting began to reflect her sorrow. She knew that she couldn’t even share them with anyone her Mom disliked him. From beginning Rajat was wrong boy in her Mom’s eyes. Her Mom kept calling her inside & now she hated to confess but her Mom was right. He did timepass by encouraging her feelings & then he just vanished. She didn’t understand what went wrong. She decided that she would keep watch on him. She started watching him. He was moving around room so restless. Soon she sensed that he was throwing things around in frustration. He was alone so no one was there to stop him. Suddenly her hope raised again. He might be frustrated that he couldn’t confess his love to her. But then in seconds she denied. She saw clearly on his face that he didn’t love her. She didn’t understand what he was searching. It was so frustrating. She kept waiting then she sensed that she was becoming his replica. She turned to computer. She tried to chat with her friends. But every one was busy. It was bad day. She kept getting restless. She decided to paint again. On that point her Mom came inside. Her Mom “ You are upset? Honey that boy is not good one. He kept following different girls.” Now this managed to shock her. She never thought her Mom saw something. She looked towards her Mom with confusion. Mom “ I saw him looking towards other girl..” she felt so hurt. She decided to ignore him. He was an unfaithful boy. She started painting. Rajat was trying to control his anger but it was not working. He kept talking to girls with hope to find his sister Supriya. But they were all different. He needed her. He knew that people were taking it in totally wrong way. Today the way Sumitra smiled. He sensed that she was expecting something different. She thought that he was in love with her. He wanted to marry her when he was trying to find his sister. He knew that it was impossible to explain. He knew that many people of Society were abusing him for changing girls. But he was not looking for wife. He wanted his sister. His elder sister! He was not settled financially. He needed a good job. He didn’t understand why people felt that he was searching for wife in this situation? He couldn’t take money from parents to feed his family & he was not planning to live on money which his wife earned. His cooking skill were nothing & he was not even confident on his parenting skill. He once again sat on computer & started searching for vacancies. Soon he sensed that they all wanted experience & he didn’t have any. It was so frustrating. He needed job to get experience but they wanted a man who knew everything in perfect way already. He never did any job but still they wanted him to do all work perfectly. He was so upset by all. He didn’t understand where he could find someone to teach him. He kept searching then he went back to his work. His work was not giving him much earning but he enjoyed it. Truthfully he was not planning to marry so it was okay. He wanted to just find his sister. He began to cry slowly. He kept searching for her everywhere but he couldn’t find her. She was so special. He didn’t understand why his parents never missed her. He began to look down again. Those roads had plenty of girls & it was impossible to find one out of them. He was feeling so tense. Then he suddenly found another girl was entering on scotty in society. He smiled happily. She was like his sister Supriya. Supriya always wanted one scotty. He knew that her parents never gave her. He could sense it. He could see that want in his eyes. She was so upset. But their parents never cared. He ran down to talk with that girl. Sumitra was watching down from Balcony. She was waiting for cousin. She was totally shocked when she noticed that Rajat was talking with another girl. He was changing girls daily. It was too much for her. She decided that she needed to talk with someone. She decided that she could talk with secretary of society. But she sensed that it would look odd. She needed to tell her parents but then she got another better idea. She could tell it to that girl. She ran towards lift. She pressed button. Then she sensed that she was painting & she forgot to keep her painting brush in home. She even had her apron on. She went near that girl. She looked towards her with shock. She knew that she needed to change first but she didn’t want to miss opportunity. She told all to that girl. Then she sensed that she was niece of Society secretary. That girl looked shocked. “ That boy was looking so innocent!” Both girls began to abuse him. They decided that they needed to talk with secretary. They reached his home. Secretary was luckily came from shop for lunch. They told him everything. He was clearly shocked. “ I can’t believe it..” he called security. Security told Secretary that Rajat kept searching for girls from Balcony then he kept calling them. He kept chatting with them for hours. It was so upsetting. Security said “ You must talk with him. Until now he had not taken any girl in bedroom but we can’t be sure where this might lead. One day he might get caught. What if that girl got pregnant..or some one file Police complaint about this. Personally I don’t want to support that boy. He is fraud.” Secretary decided to visit Rajat.
Rajat was tense in house when Secretary came there with both girls. He invited them inside. Secretary decided to ask him directly “ Why were you following these girls?” “ Since I thought they look like Supriya!” He gave strange smile as if he was living in dream. Secretary was confused. “ Who is Supriya? Your friend?” “ No..no my elder sister!” He said in like child in innocent way. Every one shivered. “ What happened to your sister?” Sumitra asked slowly. Rajat “She died when I was kid.” They all shivered. It was so upsetting. She began to get restless. Sumitra “ Let’s go home.” They all went away. They sensed one thing that something was wrong with Rajat. Secretary called his parents. He told them all. On that day his parents came home early. They started to discussing different issues with him. They wanted to understand his feelings. But it was impossible for them to understand. He was feeling so frustrated. He didn’t understand why did they even try to hear his feelings. He began to sense different emotions. He started to learn that he couldn’t love his sister since she was dead. He screamed “ I want her. I can find her in alive human.” He was feeling so frustrated. He didn’t understand why they wanted him to forget her. He kept screaming “ I want her back.” They tried to convince him . He wanted to feel so happy. He was getting restless. He didn’t understand. They wanted to convince him that he should forget her. He wanted to replace her. Finally when his parents sensed that nothing was working. They went out of room. He heard their arguments. They were clearly blaming each other for his mental trouble. He felt so upset. He started crying loudly. He needed his sister. He wanted her at any cost. Next Morning he woke up. He didn’t want to be alive. It was his feeling. He sensed one thing that he could meet his sister by killing himself. He knew that was only option now. He started searching ways. Finally he found one blade. He began to cut in hand when his Mom entered. She screamed. His Dad followed her. They did all bandage etc. but he didn’t feel anything. They were crying but he didn’t sense their sorrow. He felt that just one thing he needed his sister Supriya. After sometime Doctor came. He didn’t answer much just his said limited words. His Mom kept answering. Finally one day they took him to psychiatrist. He didn’t have much hope of getting anything. He just kept quiet. Then slowly Psychiatrist encouraged & he started talking. He began to feel his head was getting light. He started to remember his sister Supriya. He began to describe her memories. He kept telling them. He started to sense that she was so special. Psychiatrist was appreciating her. He started to tell how much she loved him. He described all. He began to live that life in a way as if it was some thing he was truly living. He was still not normal. But he sensed that he was no longer searching her replacement. She managed to become alive in his memories. He started to find her inside. He began to think that she was living inside. He was so scared. He didn’t understand what was happening. He called Psychiatrist. Psychiatrist gave him appointment. Psychiatrist gave him medicine & explained “ This is your subconscious mind. It is creating this impact. Don’t worry slowly it will reduce.” He was so scared but it began to reduce after sometime. He began to feel relaxed. Slowly he accepted death of Supriya. One day finally before psychiatrist his parents told him entire story. “ Your sister was not drown. I don’t know how did you created this story. Actually she died in accident. A careless driver did rash driving. She was standing in corner of road but this driver hit her. Her body was in horrible condition. So we didn’t bring her here. We went directly from morgue to cremation. No one saw that body. That case was going on for long time.” “ Do you manage to punish driver?” Suddenly Psychiatrist asked “ Do you feel it will stop pain of your soul?” He thought then he turned head negatively. He knew that he didn’t want to go in those legal details. He asked to see picture of dead body. But they didn’t had any. He felt hurt. But he sensed that he needed to adjust. Then he found a job which was in other state. He felt that it would work & to his relief it worked. Slowly after long treatment he went over this trauma. He still had picture of Supriya in his home. But now he didn’t keep watching it for hours. Sometimes he cried but he accepted that she was dead. Any way he knew that he was going to die one day too whoever came on earth die one day & he was not going to waste those days which he had so he began to live his life peacefully the way his sister Supriya should have desired. But still whenever he went to his parent’s house he avoided balcony. He didn’t want to face Sumitra again. He sensed that he made big mistake by raising her hopes in wrong way. Now he didn’t understand how could he acted like that? Those girls didn’t resemble to his sister at all but at that point they seemed just like Supriya. He sensed that it was mad obsession of his mind. But he felt too guilty so he avoided visiting that flat. He knew one thing that this flat would never become his home again. It was full of sad memories. He always remained in state where he was working. He didn’t want to remember all his mistakes.
The End
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