Hunting voices in night
Rishi was reading comic when he heard their voices. There was big argument. He could sense it. His parents always kept arguing. He knew that nothing was serious in it. It was common. He knew that after sometime their argument would stop. It was so upsetting. He began to feel he wanted to tell them to talk slowly. He screamed loudly “ Mom..Dad stop screaming.” He kept screaming. He didn’t understand why no one was stopping. He knew that his Mom would stop immediately. He then started to sense tapping on shoulder. He didn’t understand touch. He was so confused. A woman was waking him up from sleep. He didn’t understand who was she. Then he sensed that it was his wife Trupti. He began to sense that he was adult . He didn’t understand why did he dreamt like that. He smiled & said “ Sorry..” He wanted to speak her name but it started to slip out of his mind. Suddenly once again he started to hear those voices. He didn’t understand from where. He began to feel as if this voices were creating impact on his mind. He began to feel so tense. He started to sense that he couldn’t even answer his wife. Those voices were so irritating. She didn’t say anything. She just kept looking at him. Then slowly they stopped. She asked “ What happened?” He smiled & said “ Nothing. Let’s go to sleep.” Trupti nodded & closed eyes. But she heard his words. He was trying to tell his parents to keep their voice low. She began to feel sad. This might be happening due to their recurring arguments. But they didn’t have kids so no one was there to feel upset. She knew that she couldn’t have child. She tried hard to ignore it but it was not working. She began to feel so sick in her soul. She didn’t see love in his eyes just managed to see sympathy. She sometimes wished that she could just divorce him. In fact she wanted to get out of this marriage. What was use of his marriage to her? She received daily taunts while he received special respect. Every one kept saying to her that she was lucky since her husband didn’t left her. It seemed as if staying with her was his biggest sacrifice & she didn’t want it. She was so frustrated. She had her nice career. She might not earn much. But she was happy. If he decided to divorce her, then she could live with alimony. She was so frustrated with this life. But now when he started to hear his screaming, she began to sense something was wrong with him. She never thought that he might had some mental trouble too. She closed her eyes & tried to sleep. She didn’t understand when her love changed in hate. Rishi was trying to go to sleep too. But he was not planning for divorce. He was never such fond of kids. He liked kids but just to play with them for sometime. He didn’t want responsibility of children. He didn’t know if this thought came due to his situation or from beginning he felt that way. But he didn’t want to marry another woman for child. But he began to sense that when Trupti learnt that she couldn’t have child she began to lose interest in their marriage. He didn’t understand what was his mistake. He began to feel that she wanted him just for child. Now she couldn’t have it he was not needed. He was so upset. He began to feel that he needed to accept that soon their marriage was going to end. He knew that she hated him now. He didn’t want it but he couldn’t escape it. He was just counting days when she would say it. He didn’t want to say it. But he knew that she would say it. He started to cry slowly. He began to get restless. He knew that man must not cry. But it was impossible to appear strong when actually person was emotional. It was frustrating. He turned back his face to other side to avoid watching her. He felt that she was already out of his love so it was totally meaningless. He started to feel so restless. He was so confused. He didn’t want to feel any affection towards her but he was still in love with her & she was out of it. It was worst for him. He wanted to find some way to turn time back when they were in love with each other but it was impossible. He began to watch towards window. He kept on small corner out of curtain from where he could see sky. He could watch clouds. He loved watching sky for hours. It was so stressful when person loved someone & that one was not interested. He was just waiting for that moment when she would say it or if he didn’t want her to say it ever he didn’t know. It was so frustrating. He didn’t like that thought. He was feeling so suffocated due to it. He started to feel helpless. He tried to control his feelings by watching stars. It was so relaxing. He was so stressed out. He kept telling himself to relax. He began to dream that he was once again in his childhood. This time he just saw positive. He began to laugh softly on his positive memories. He started to feel relaxed. He didn’t sense that Trupti turned her head towards his back & watching him. She was so confused. She felt for sometime that he was crying. She didn’t understand why. She never guessed that he was in such pain. He looked fine. In fact he was such perfect husband before all with smile that she never thought that he was truly hurt. She began to think that he might be interested in child. She knew that they didn’t have that bound now which was cause of their marriage. She wanted to give him freedom but she was not asking for it. She felt that she might be needed to understand it by herself. She wanted a normal life & she couldn’t stay caged like that. She decided that tomorrow she would go to her sister & she would find nice lawyer. She wanted to start her life once again. She kept observing him. She began to feel that he might be start losing his mind. She wanted to divorce him since she didn’t want to appear as cause of this mess. She would divorce him. Then no one would blame her for his mental state. She turned her back towards him once again. She was so scared that people might blame her for this. She started regretting her decision to marry him. He was nice doing dating but now he was totally different person. She didn’t understand what was wrong between them. But she knew that she wanted to get over this as soon as possible. She started to practice in her mind what would she tell her sister tomorrow.
When Trupti woke next morning, Rishi was already gone to office. She wanted to discuss about issue with him first. But he was gone. She was so confused. She did their meal. She kept it in refrigerator. She didn’t understand what she was doing. She was planning to divorce but still she was acting like normal house wife. But she was not sure that she would manage to get divorce. She called one cab. She went to her sister. Her sister greeted her happily. Once again kids came talked to her. She knew that those kids were warned by parents to talk with her most sweetly in fact extra sweetness which was abnormal. She didn’t like it. She knew those kids acted naughty with others but with her they were sweet. She never felt that kids shared anything with her. She was sort of detached from those kids. She didn’t like those kids that much. She knew that she supposed to feel attachment but she was not that attached. Those kids came did all formally. She gave them lavish gifts which she knew that they were expecting. Then they accepted those gifts with smile & went away to their room. She sat with her sister & slowly told her “ I am planning to take divorce.” Her sister looked scared. “ Why? Did he asked for it? Is it about child?” She was so frustrated. Everything turned to just one point that was child. “ No. He didn’t say anything but I am tired of this marriage.” “ I don’t understand.” “ He is strange!” “ What did he do?” “ He kept crying night after night!” Her sister looked confused after hearing this. Her sister asked in low voice “Why? For kid!” She was so frustrated. She said “ I don’t know. I never asked!” “ What? You never asked your husband why he is crying?” “ He didn’t cry before me! He turned his back towards me & cry!” “ But still...you don’t touch his shoulder &..” “ Enough! We are no longer that much attached.” Her sister looked shocked. Her sister decided to not pursue matter. Her sister “ So you don’t want to stay with him. What about him? He needed to say no too. Otherwise you can’t just say I want divorce & get it.” Trupti was so upset now. She never thought that divorcing Rishi could be so hard. “ You feel he might want to stay with new?” Her sister nodded. “ Why else he didn’t talk about divorce?” “ But I can’t become mother!” She didn’t sense when she turned to same point herself. That child was becoming important excuse. Sometimes she doubted that she did it really mattered. She just wanted to get rid of him. She married him with some different dreams. She kept thinking that they would enjoy their life. They used to go on field trip again & again during their dating time. He used to love visiting forests. They used to talk about nature for hours. But now he was too busy. She knew that he earned large sum for them but still it was not enough. She was caged in that house. She didn’t want kids. She wanted just freedom from that cage. She slowly spoke “ It is not about kids. Actually I wanted freedom from that life.” “ Why? I thought you like to get married. You wanted big dream house.” Trupti nodded. “ But that was not something I wanted. I sensed that it was just for show off to friends & relatives. He was really rich fellow. Every one was so impressed when I started dating him. I received special respect.” “ But you still have it.” She gave a strange laugh which seemed like crying. “ No. Now I don’t since I can’t give child.” She was so frustrated. “ I don’t want to remain married with him. That’s all.” Her sister looked shocked. Her sister “ You can’t divorce someone like that.” Her sister clicked fingers. “ This isn’t joke! Or some doll game!” Trupti was so upset after hearing this. She knew that she could not manage to get rid of this marriage so easily. While Rishi went early in office with just one purpose, he needed to discuss with his Boss about these voices which stopped him from hearing everything. His Boss was not just senior. His Boss was good friend. He knew that he needed to meet him early on time then his Boss would act nicely with him. When he came early, he saw that Boss was not there. Clearly his Boss was too busy that day. He was so upset. He needed help & no one was coming forward to do it. He was studying for so much time. He was so busy in his work until those dreams didn’t start to disturb his life. He began to get so tense. He kept thinking again & again about all. He was so restless. He wanted to stop those dreams. He needed a normal life. He needed to study for his future. Before this crisis he was planning to start studying again. His Boss was discussing expanding business in abroad. He wanted to learn that language which would help him to contact with them. He thought that it would great start for them. He felt that if they left this place for sometime they could get over this trouble. He was so upset by mentioning of child again & again. But he never thought that Trupti was irritated by him already. He sensed that tables were turned in strange way. He thought that if he could adjust all would be fine but it seemed that she didn’t want husband since she couldn’t get baby. She began to feel so upset. Trupti was so restless. She didn’t want to stay with him. It seemed as if her marriage was just for showing people how great her life was. He was never in love with him. He wanted to discuss this with his Boss. But his Boss didn’t came. He started working on computer alone. He began to wander on Internet. He suddenly got one idea. He began to search on Internet about nightmares. Soon he found list of causes. Some were paranormal. He read them. Then he turned towards scientific. Soon he sensed that he needed a psychiatrist. He sensed that it was going to get worst. He called well known hospital & took appointment of psychiatrist. He got appointment of next week. He was so scared but still he felt little bit peaceful in soul. On that point Trupti called him. She talked very sweetly & said “ I am staying with my sister for sometime. Will you handle all by yourself?” He agreed happily. He didn’t want her around while he was having those nightmares. He said happily “ Don’t worry. Enjoy yourself & relax.” Her voice sounded relaxed when she said “ Bye.” He disconnected call happily.
Trupti felt so relieved when Rishi agreed to let her live with sister. Trupti never sensed that she was living with her husband & never separated from him. If she wanted divorce then she needed to stay away from him. It was important. She couldn’t say that she was staying with him & demand divorce. She lied that she was staying with her sister. Her sister was not pro divorce so she wasn’t going to help but she could shift in empty flat of her father. It was practical & convenient for her. She began to get restless when she started to call. She didn’t want to hear negative from him. She sat on floor of flat. She needed to bring her some stuff. She required mattress to sleep & sit. Her flat practically had nothing. She started to create list of things she needed to purchase. She wanted to stay in this flat for at least few months but she was not sure. It might turn into entire life too. She just didn’t want to go back. She sat there in total darkness. That entire flat was dark. But she could stay there. She could hide there. She didn’t want sympathy or abuse of world. If she left Rishi all would stop. He could marry someone else. She would accept it happily. She knew that he needed happiness in her life. She wanted to feel normal. She needed to get rid of marriage for it. She was sitting alone in flat. While Rishi was trying to sleep in his large empty double bed. He wanted happiness too. But he had different dreams. He was planning to adopt a nice baby. He could get child of his choice. He was so excited when someone suggested this. He made one excuse of distributing things & went to orphanage. There were so many kids. He could decide which one would be perfect. He felt that Trupti could decide. Then they would go to abroad by excuse of work. He could complete work & their child would settle with them. Then they could come back. They would become happy family. His family was perfect for world but he was always irritated by parents daily arguments. He wanted perfect family for his child. He was so happy but she was not interested. Now whenever he closed his eyes those voices of argument started coming in his ears. He started to get restless. He began to feel those voices from inside. He could hear those arguments. He started to scream “Stop it....stop it.” He knew that no one was there but those voices were too much. He tried to relax himself but nothing was working. He was totally tense. He kept taking deep breaths. He kept trying control his feelings but he knew that he was not going to control them. He started to hit his forehead with his hands. He didn’t sense when his nails managed to wound it. After some time finally those voices stopped but by then his forehead was completely wounded & scratched. He was so tense after watching it. He needed to go to office next day. He just wished only if he could manage emergency appointment. Next day he called hospital again. He started to insist for early appointment. At beginning receptionist denied but finally he told her all. She sounded confused then she shifted call to Psychiatrist. Psychiatrist took it. Psychiatrist started talking “ I like to see your wounds will you send me selfie?” He immediately agreed. He clicked himself & send it. He began to feel so shameful for it. He said “ I am so sorry. I don’t want to do that but it was too much for me.” “ I will arrange one emergency appointment for you today. Come in afternoon 1 o’clock.” “ But office?” “ This is emergency for you isn’t it? I am sacrificing my lunch hour!” Rishi regretted his words. “ So sorry. I will come.” Then Rishi called Boss & asked for vacation. Boss was upset. “ What is going on Rishi? You are not acting like yourself for long time. Work is getting effected.” “ Don’t worry Boss. I am going to psychiatrist today. You will surely see the difference.” Boss didn’t say anything for long time then Boss asked “ Are you alright? Visiting Psychiatrist! What happened? Did you hallucinate?” “ Yes I heard voices.” Then he told everything to Boss. Boss didn’t say anything. Finally Boss said “ Okay.” He went to Psychiatrist on fixed time. Psychiatrist talked with him very nicely. Psychiatrist “ Actually you wanted happy married life but I feel your wife is not ready to adjust with childless life.” He nodded. “ You need to understand you can’t change her attitude. You sense that she didn’t love you any more but you keep trying to remain attached to her & it is creating these problems. It remind you of marriage of your parents. They remained stuck in loveless marriage. On one point your heart want to stay with her & on other it was to give her freedom which she want.” He kept listening to Psychiatrist. He began to feel relaxed. He went happily out of clinic. But his happiness shattered soon when his Boss told him that he was out of new project. “ You are not mentally fit.” He felt so upset. But suddenly he took one important decision. “ You are right Boss. Then I will resign you can find fit person.” Boss laughed. “ You are totally out of mind. You want to lose such big salary?!” “ No issue Boss. I will manage. Bye.” Then he called lawyer & discussed divorce. Next day he did two things. First he gave resignation to Boss who accepted it with superior smile. Then he went to Trupti’s sister. Trupti was not there. But he didn’t want to give it to her personally. He gave it to her sister & said “I feel she want this.” Her sister nodded with sad face. He went away. He went home & took his medicine. He slept peacefully. Then after sometime he once again heard voices. But they were mild. He didn’t need to hit head. He knew that they were not gone but they were taking defeat. Finally next day Trupti called. They confirmed divorce & she didn’t demand alimony. He agreed happily. After all he didn’t have job now. He began to search for work. He didn’t pay attention to money. He no longer had much responsibility. He could live on his savings. He never felt so happy. He sensed that psychiatrist didn’t suggest anything directly but still it worked. Now those voices no longer came in night to hunt him. He was truly happy man. He couldn’t believe that leaving all behind could make him so happy. Whenever he located his Boss he felt little angry but it didn’t matter that much. He knew that it was temporary. He truly learnt to enjoy life as gift of God.
The End
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