Writing for her
Sameer started writing his story. He was so sure that it would be perfect. He always managed to make it perfect but then suddenly he sensed that something was stopping his hand. He looked towards his hand. He didn’t understand what was happening. He began to sense that he might had managed to damage some muscle. His extra writing was causing these troubles. He was sure about it. He started to get upset. He sensed that his hands were not working. But they were not tired. Something strange happened to them. He felt as if they were created out of some stone. He began to look towards his hand carefully. They seemed like stone. He felt so confused. He knew that it was not possible. His hands couldn’t become stone. He laughed at that thought. He looked towards them carefully. He saw blue veins. He felt that it was strange. Something wrong was happening inside his body. He felt that it was so strange. He knew that it was not possible but he felt as if something inside his body. His skin was looking strange. He kept observing it. He didn’t understand what was happening. He kept feeling sad & restless. He was tense. He kept watching hand for hours. He didn’t sense it until Renuka didn’t touch his shoulder. Renuka “ What happened?” He came to his senses. His hand was perfect. He didn’t understand why did he felt like that. He began to get confused. He knew that Renuka had such wonderful smile & such peaceful attitude that just after watching her face he started to get relaxed. He began to feel so stressed. But she was his most precious jewel. She smiled & asked “ What happened?” “Nothing. Just I felt pain in hand.” Renuka came near him. She slowly took his hand in her hand. She started observing it. He felt so nice. He always felt wonderful whenever she touched him. Her touch was always precious to him. Even after so many years of marriage it remained same way. She adored him. She loved the way he looked towards her. He knew that his writing was not making enough but she still appreciated it. She spent day & night in encouraging him. When his other friends kept telling their wives complaint even when they had big salaries she never did it. He was always so restless. He kept feeling that one day she would complaint. She never did. Even their kids were following wonderful understanding. Both kids were in school now. House was always peaceful. But even when kids were playing they never entered in his room. They always respected his writing. Their mother taught them to respect him. “ You taught kids to respect me!” He said suddenly. She looked shocked. Then she laughed. “ How did this suddenly came in your head?! They respect you since they like you. You behave nicely. If you start acting abusively like other Dad..if you start screaming on them at every wrong move they will not respect you.” He nodded. But he didn’t believe it. Sometimes he felt that she deserved better than him. He was nothing but failure. She deserved some successful man. But he never dared to express this. He couldn’t imagine life without her. She slowly patted on his hand & went away. He was feeling so sad & restless. But he couldn’t say it when she was before him. She did all for him. If he started to say something about his depression he felt that she would be blamed. Then he felt that he was not depressed. Why he should feel depressed? He had everything as per his want. His family was perfect. He smiled. He slowly took back his hand. “ I feel I must have slept on this hand.” “ No.. I feel you type too much. Your hand is paining due to it. You must take some rest.” He smiled. Actually his writing was not that much useful many times he felt that he might just quit it. But then he knew that Renuka didn’t like it. She was his fan. She kept reading his every word. He never understood why did she like it so much? Sometimes he felt that she was doing it just to encourage him. But she loved him because of his writing. He knew that she wanted him to write. He started to type again. She didn’t stop him. She just said “ I know you love it but just take it easy.” He nodded. He went back to computer & started typing. He was working on it with full attention. It worked properly. He tried to cheer up his heart with positive thinking. It was so upsetting. He wrote everything but he didn’t feel happy the way he wanted to. Suddenly his mobile rang. His Mom was calling. He didn’t want to take her call. His Mom always kept irritating him. But he knew that he didn’t have much option. If he didn’t took call she would call Renuka & forced him to take his call. He didn’t want that drama so he just took her call. “ Hello Mom how are you?” “ Fine. What about you? Have you able to earn something?” This was most irritating question for him. He worked so hard to solve it. But he couldn’t find source of income. He didn’t even wanted to marry due to that situation. But he was already dating Renuka. Renuka loved his writing. She wanted him to continue. She didn’t demand money from him. He had some property by inheritance & she was happy with that income. Then soon Renuka took nice job. She needed to work day & night for it. She wanted him to take care of kids. He didn’t like that idea. He didn’t know much about upbringing kids. But once again she encouraged. He managed. He was taking care of kids & writing. Soon even Renuka started to work from home. She couldn’t do all from home. But mostly she was at home. Now she was holding both fronts. Frankly he felt like burden. He didn’t understand what he supposed to do with his life. His Mom kept talking. “ So what are you doing now? I don’t understand how did you spend your time inside house?! It is totally irritating to stay in house for such a long time. I dislike it. I want to do something.” He decided that he heard enough. He knew where this issue was going. He just told Mom “ I am writing my story is it okay if I call you later?” Mom said in voice which was taunting him “ You never call Mom. It is as if I no longer existed for you. It is wrong to treat parents this way!” He began to get more restless. He knew that he couldn’t tolerate more. He just said “ Kids just came from school I will talk you later.” & disconnected call. He never understood why he needed to take those calls. She never appreciated him. But he was always considered wrong for not taking them.
Renuka was cooking in kitchen. She was watching Sameer carefully too. She knew that Sameer didn’t earn much but she loved his talent. She hated when her mother-in-law started to give him inferiority complex. It all became so complicated. He tried so hard to earn but he couldn’t manage. Still he had many sources of earning. He worked so hard even in house. He never shy in doing any household work. She never needed to tell him to do dusting or cleaning he did it himself. They had maids but those maids were not that much useful when it came to dusting & cleaning. Sameer did it personally. Then whenever he had time. He even taught kids. She could see improvement in kid’s grade. Those things were important too. But people didn’t understand. Their life was happily married life but people kept taunting Sameer. She was scared that it might manage to damage their relationship. He never showed any sign of jealousy over her career but he was clearly showing sign of nervous breakdown & now a days he kept looking at his hand again & again. She didn’t understand what was happening to his hand. He didn’t say clearly but she could sense something was wrong with it. He was hiding something. She looked towards him. She could sense it was call of his Mom. She didn’t understand why did that lady needed to keep interfering? She never had any issue on lack of earnings of her husband. He was helping her with household. He was taking care of her kids & she was happy about it. But people even his own mother didn’t understand! They needed to let husband & wife decide how did they divide their work. But people kept insisting that she supposed to take care of household & he supposed to work for earning. She knew that now a days she did little bit work in house too. But when she was busy & she didn’t have any time for her house Sameer managed all. He was such good support but now he was not normal. Even kids kept asking “ What’s wrong with Dad?” They all saw that he was watching his hand. He always created reasons but they didn’t seem true. She knew that something was wrong with him. He needed to discuss it. He disconnected his Mom call & tried to write but then he suddenly began to look towards his hand again. This time she decided that she would suggest Doctor. It would surely solve problem. She came near him. He was looking so shocked as if he saw some ghost. She asked in a tone which told him that she wanted answer now. “ What is happening? Why you keep watching your hand?” He gave weak smile & said “ I don’t understand.” “ What you don’t understand? Why you are watching hand?!” She sounded confused & frustrated. He just smiled. “ Nothing!” “ Stop saying nothing. I can see something is wrong.” He began to get angry now. He screamed on her “ What happened? I am not holding any other woman’s hand. I am holding only my own hand!” He said it with such force that she took two steps behind. She never saw him like this. He was always calm & loving. She began to feel that something was wrong. She kept watching him with confused thoughts. He tried to convince her that everything was fine but she just ran in bedroom. She started crying. He talked just like her father. Her father was always abusive to entire family. She never wanted his memory. She never expressed it but she was so glad when her father died. He was worst man. She felt big burden was removed from earth. But now she felt as if he returned once again in form of Sameer. She knew that Sameer never talked like that but now he was changing. She cried. But she was expecting him to come. He didn’t come. She waited then she finally had it enough. She went back to him again. He was watching his hand. He was holding it in a way as if his hand was emotionless. She felt so uneasy in his soul. She began to sense that he was hiding his partial paralysis. His hand was not moving. He kept observing it. He was watching his hand with full attention. He kept looking towards his hand as if he could manage to make it normal by watching. She ran towards him. She took his hand. “ What happened?” He tried to say nothing but it didn’t come out of his lips. He started crying. She sensed that his hand was not moving properly. She took hold of her emotions & said “ Don’t worry. We just need to call Doctor that’s all.” He gave weak smile & nodded. But he was so scared. He didn’t understand what was wrong with him. He tried to control his emotions. His hand was pillar of his career. He couldn’t write without it. He began to sense that it might be end of his career. He wanted to cry but then on one point he felt that he didn’t making money out of it. But then he sensed that he needed to go Doctor now. It meant a lot more spending on his health. He didn’t like it. He tried so hard to move his hand but it didn’t. He didn’t understand what was wrong. He kept watching his hand. She began to massage his hand. But he didn’t sense anything. He told her to pinch it. She didn’t agree. Then he pinched it himself. His nails managed to bring out blood but he didn’t sense anything. He started to get so panic. He found sharp blade. He was about to cut but Renuka stopped him. Renuka screamed “Are you out of mind? You can’t cut hand like that! It would get wounded but it will not help your hand.” He nodded. He knew that it would lead to further expenses. He said sadly “ It will increase expenses of Doctor!” “ Are you out of mind? This is not time to think of expenses. You are sick. We must go to best Doctor.” “ But I can’t waste your money like that.” She didn’t understand what he was saying. She never thought this way. She always thought that it was their money. She knew all relatives put this in his mind. She wanted him to take care of himself. She decided to not waste time. She immediately called one hospital. Then she told all problem while crying. That receptionist told her to relax & gave one emergency appointment. She totally forgot about kids until doorbell rang. She sensed that she needed to keep kids again. She ran to door. Kids were shocked to see her face. She slowly explained them need of situation & ran out of house with Sameer. She was shaking with sorrow.
Watchman saw them & he immediately sensed that something was wrong. He was about to ask but then he decided to ignore it. Since watchman sensed that Taxi was emergency. Watchman managed to get Taxi. Then watchman noticed that Sameer was holding his hand in strange way. He was planning to ask but then he decided against it. He began to stop Taxi. Then he told name of hospital. Renuka thanked watchman & went to hospital with Sameer. Sameer kept doing all that told to him. It was clear that he was in depression. He was feeling so helpless. Nurse checked him. He was taken in different rooms. From that day his different tests were started. Renuka knew that it would be time consuming & costly. But she needed her husband to be cured. Renuka’s life began to get shattered. When she returned home, she started crying. It was so depressing. She didn’t understand what she supposed to do. Sameer tried to tell her that he was fine. But she kept crying. It was so complicated. Kids started to cry too. Entire house seemed like some funeral home. He didn’t understand what he supposed to do. He tried to move his hand. It was moving. He smiled & showed it. But Renuka didn’t look encouraged. She said “ This is temporary.” She was not even eating properly. He could see direct impact on her health. He began to force himself to move hand & type but it was not working. He tried so hard to write something. It was so difficult. He needed to write his story on computer. He needed to learn it on every step. He wanted to give happiness to Renuka. She was looking so sick day by day. He began to feel as if her age increased in one week. She was no longer his smiling & positive Renuka. He decided that he needed to talk with Doctor. He called Doctor & told him all. Doctor “ I was waiting for your all reports & luckily I got most of them today.. actually they all suggest you are fine.” “ What? Then why my hand is not moving?” “ I feel it is mental.” He was so shocked. He tired so hard to move it. He tried to convince his brain. But it didn’t move. “ I can’t move it with willpower.” “ You can’t. This is mental disorder. I give you name of psychiatrist.” “ Sorry but I can’t write. I mean I try but.” “ Call your wife on mobile.” “ She is in her office.” Renuka couldn’t sit in home how much she might wished for it. She needed to earn. She was sole earner of house. She was only one who was bringing money. Doctor didn’t speak for sometime. Then Doctor gave him appointment. Sameer agreed. But in his soul Sameer knew that he was not planning to come. It was so upsetting. He sensed that Doctor was calling him mad. He was perfectly sound. Then kids came he did all without using one hand. He sensed that he could go on like that. He could manage all with one hand. But kids were on verge of crying. They kept asking about hand. He began to sense that he might be not mad but he could make his entire family mad with sorrow if he didn’t able to work like normal. He didn’t went to Doctor that day. But when Renuka came home, she immediately started telling him that Doctor called her. Renuka “ I took number. We are going to Psychiatrist.” “ I am fine.” “ Then let Psychiatrist confirm it.” “ They will keep calling me without cause to get money! They do like that.” “ Without cause? Your one hand is not moving that it is enough cause.” Renuka started crying loudly & uncontrollably. Kids came out running. Kids began to look so scared. She began to abuse his Mom. “ Your Mom manage to give you depression. I was okay with your less earnings.” “ Not less. No earnings.” She nodded & said “ Now hear yourself! You began to hate yourself. It was so frustrating. I was happy with you. I was happy with investment you inherited. It all was perfect until you don’t stop writing. It is happening since your Mom convince you to stop it.” He never saw her so angry. He could see anger even on children’s face. They all felt same way. He was getting mad due to his mother. He was so confused. But he decided that he needed to know truth. “ Let’s just called that Doctor & took number of Psychiatrist. You are right. It is not wrong to visit Psychiatrist. I don’t feel Psychiatrist is that bad. Psychiatrist is Doctor too. I will visit.” She smiled happily. Kids started to dance with joy. He was not sure that it would work but he was happy that at least they were positive now. She called Doctor then she immediately called Psychiatrist & took appointment. She smiled & said “ After Psychiatrist treatment all will become normal again. I am sure that this is mental. It mean you are physically fine & you will not die. I never want to take any help of my father. I want you back normal. If you can’t able to act normal, he will win & I will lose.” She said this & went away. He was so shocked. He never sensed that his father-in-law might be cause of this too. His Mom always encouraged his visit when Renuka was absent. He never sensed that he managed to give him inferiority while pretending he was superior. He knew that he did big mistake by attending her father behind Renuka’s back. Renuka’s Dad was dead now but he knew that it managed to create worst impact on his mind. He knew that he needed to cure it. He needed to make himself fine. He was so stressed. He knew that he was not normal. He was mentally sick. But he didn’t feel it. He knew that he could move his hand but still he couldn’t. It was so strange. He decided that he needed to fight back. He needed to find way. He wanted to cry but he couldn’t. He needed to visit Psychiatrist.
Finally that day came when Renuka & Sameer went to Psychiatrist. Renuka kept talking while Sameer just sat. He knew until now every Doctor told him that he was okay. They didn’t say they could cure him since according to them he was perfect. He kept looking at hand. But then Psychiatrist said “ Don’t worry. You will manage to move it. This is one mental disorder. We can surely cure it.” He looked towards Psychiatrist with shock. He asked “ You have cured patients with this disorder?” “ Of course. This is not such unique disorder. It happened due to trauma or depression. Did you suffer due to some trauma?” He moved his hand negatively. “ Are you depressed?” He nodded. Then his eyes went towards Renuka. Psychiatrist smiled & told Renuka “ Will you wait outside?” She looked confused. Then she nodded. Then Psychiatrist added “ You said kids are alone in house.” She nodded. “ Go home.” “ But Sameer..” “ He is fine. He can arrange Cab or I will arrange one for him. I hope you have card to make payment for my fees.” Sameer nodded. Sameer turned to Renuka & he said “ Just go home. I am fine.” He was already began to feel little bit confident. Then she went away. He began to tell all his troubles to Psychiatrist. Psychiatrist “ This is Conversion Disorder. Mind is complicated. Your wife insisted you must write & other suggested you must not so you began to dislike it so slowly you wanted to stop your hand. So you began to feel you can’t move it. It was your depression regarding not earning but you don’t understand. Your wife want to concentrate on her career & she liked that you are writing which is her passion too. She can’t write but she want to so she feel she is writing when you do. She don’t consider herself different than you. Her earning is yours & your writing is her. She is so proud of it. You are completing her dream..” Psychiatrist convinced him so nice. He began to feel hope. He couldn’t able to move his hand immediately but he was not tense about it. He sensed that slowly his inferiority would reduce & he could move his hand. That day he did shopping for all before going to house. He spent that money like his money. They all looked so happy. He understood one thing. She wanted his gifts. She wanted him to spend her money. She was happy about it. He began to sense that he needed to look at life in different way. She did lot of things for him & it was his time to do things for her. She wanted him to ignore people then he needed to do it. He decided to learn it from Psychiatrist. He smiled happily first time after long time. He still couldn’t able to use one hand but he began to write with another. She was so happy. She asked him “ Honey when your other hand will be fine?” “ Don’t worry. Give it sometime. But I am not planning to stop writing until then.” She smiled happily & began to read what he wrote. He was happy. He decided that now on he would just write for her. He began to think about new stories which he was planning to write.
The End
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