Burden of marriage
Rina began to see all she had. It was more and she was sure that she was happy with her life. She looked around a perfect kitchen. It was just the way she imagined. She knew that she might like to add few more luxuries to it. She might want few extra gadgets in it. But still it was perfect and she was happy about it. She wanted it to look more modern but she knew that it had wonderful look. After watching it's each tile she felt as if she could feel new day from her heart. She wanted her kitchen to be perfect since she knew that she was going to spend her entire day in it. She was daughter-in-law of large joint family. She had many family members and many relatives who kept visiting her. She needed to keep happy face for them all. She knew that since first day of her marriage she kept her happy face daily. She kept hoping that it would help her. But she knew that she was pretending. Her husband Ravi was fond of her happy face but truthfully she felt many times that she didn't care for her feelings. She felt so upset and said. He felt that she was truely happy. She wanted to show her feelings but she was too scared. She still remembered that day when her marriage was fixed. Her Mom came in her room. She sat near her and patted on her cheek. " Do you like that boy?" She liked Ravi so she nodded. Mom " Great! Even if you have disliked him still I feel he is best. You can't just say no to boys. You need to understand it." She shivered. She knew that marriage was big responsibility. But she didn't sense that she couldn't say no. She didn't dislike him so that question didn't arise. She began to feel so helpless. She sensed one thing that she needed to keep him happy. Then her Mom added " I hope he will say "yes" to this marriage otherwise it will create problems for you." She was so shocked. She couldn't say no but he could. " Mom what if he said no? We will find another boy!" " Yes..yes but this is not easy. It will be insulting for you." She was so confused. " Why?" She didn't want to feel that way. She began to feel that she needed to keep pleasing this man. She wanted to stop this thinking. But she was so young and confused. She just finished her education. She was searching for job but she didn't find one. People were taunting her. She felt that this marriage would fixed everything. She wanted to show everyone a rich husband. She smiled and nodded. " Mom don't worry. " Then Ravi said " Yes." She entered in his family. It was big family. She was always advised by someone regarding everything. She never spoke against anything. She sensed one thing that she needed to adjust. She was not unhappy. She could watch TV and invite her friends. Her every guest received wonderful respect. They treated everyone like some royalty. So she didn't need to complaint. Even today she was in kitchen. She had servants so she could just go out while keeping all to them. She knew that no one was going to force her to cook. She didn't need to cook. She was doing it as per her wish or they were showing off like that. Since she knew that if she went in room to relax soon her servants would start coming there with questions. They couldn't do anything on their own. They needed to keep doing whatever they advised to do. She kept doing all. She was not doing it with her own hands. But she needed to stand in kitchen whole time to see that they were doing all properly. She did it daily. Once her mother-in-law came in kitchen. She took cold water out of refrigerator & started talking angrily " I was screaming for cold water for such long time but no one gave." She felt nervous. " Sorry but I don't hear you." "Not you! If you are going to bring glass of water what is use of paying salary to these servants!" She nodded. Her mother-in-law " You are paying personal attention to kitchen. It is nice but don't stuck yourself. Let servant do it on own." She nodded. She tried to keep herself away from kitchen. But servants kept requesting and she kept going in it. She kept working in kitchen. Today she was looking in kitchen. She was feeling so upset and uneasy. She kept thinking that some way with which she could be free from this responsibilities. She saw all other ladies were enjoying their life. She felt as if she was only one who took all duties. She didn't understand why this was happening with her. Then she sensed that she knew why. Ravi didn't love her enough. She saw all other wives dominating on her husband while she was working without any question. Sometimes she felt that she needed to argue. She needed to ask few questions. But Ravi didn't care for her with same affection as other husbands. Ravi never showed much interest in her. He took her everywhere. He treated her in nice way. He never abused her but he never showed concern. She didn't even remember him saying " I love you." with passion. He said it daily with formal voice like good morning. For people it was perfect but she was doubtful about his love. She needed confirmation but her Mom's words kept coming in her head. She needed to adjust. She was so scared that he might reject her. She didn't feel that she could live without luxuries. She never abled to earn money so she never able to survive. It was needful. She knew that she couldn't move ahead. She needed to money for it. She began to look around. She needed happy life full of luxuries. She needed to live pleasantly. She knew that she wanted to feel happy but she also knew that she couldn't ask questions. She didn't understand when this money became most important thing for her. But it was so she kept working in kitchen. She started to plan for breakfast. She needed to concentrate on cooking. She knew that it was important for her. She needed to handle kitchen. She needed to make it wonderful. She kept arranging all. She started to arrange different things. She knew that she got all that she wanted. She needed to feel happy. She started smiling. She began to arrange all. She kept all in proper way. She arranged that kitchen which supposed to make all happy. That kitchen was arranged different way. She needed to give perfect instructions to make it perfect.
Rina was smiling which was having effect on all. Her family had become addicted to her smile. She was favourite to all. Everyone kept admiring her. Rina's smile was basic pillar for that house. They couldn't live without it. They all kept waiting for her whenever they came to kitchen table. Her Auntie " Rina is biggest gift of God for family." Her mother-in-law smiled with pride. After all Rina was her daughter-in-law. She was so happy that her daughter-in-law was getting admiration. She knew no one was as nice as Rina. All other daughter-in-laws were always busy in their life which includes partying or shopping. Few were pursuing career but household duties were their least concern. It was big family of four brothers. Ravi's grandfather built one big building in which they have two floor with internal staircase to each brother. They had privacy. But they kept one kitchen. It was strange that when they all had one independent kitchen still they wanted one common kitchen. It was nice to have one place where they could chat and share food. But it was hard to decide that who could manage that kitchen. They kept changing servant after servant. But nothing seemed to work. They always kept feeling so upset. Those servants were cooking worst food every day. They needed to cook food but they were not interested that much. They had servants. But they were useless. Then they all started getting daughter-in-laws. One by one their sons started to get married. Each daughter-in-law had different attitude. But none was interested in common kitchen. In fact many of them started immediately search for new house which was important for them since they wanted to get rid of their in-laws. They didn't say it on face. They were saying it behind back. Sadly world didn't hide these things. One day Auntie came in kitchen and started crying. She was saying her daughter-in-law said in party after getting drunk that she just wanted to throw her mother-in-law out of house. All guests of party were shocked. But few who hated Auntie were on top of the world. Rina's mother-in-law noticed on that time that all other women in room shivered. It was so frustrating. She was so scared. But Rina was different thing. She was her most precious jewel. She smiled and then she sensed that she forgot glass of water. She went in kitchen. For first time she saw strange vacant look in eyes of Rina. Rina was looking out. It seemed as if she lost all her hopes. Her mother-in-law was so confused. She never saw her this way. She touched on her shoulder. Rina turned back. She was looking totally normal. She smiled. For few moments her mother-in-law assumed that she might had imagined all. Then her mother-in-law smiled back and asked " What happened?" Rina looked confused. " Nothing Mom. Everything is just perfect." Rina returned to her work. Her mother-in-law started to go out. But she felt some uneasiness. She decided to discuss it with Ravi. Rina shivered. Rina didn't want anyone to sense that she was unhappy. It would be worst for her. She started to control her fear. She was so happy when she sensed that her mother-in-law was gone. She didn't like her mother-in-law that much. She kept observing her. It would be worst. She didn't want anyone to observe. She wanted to hide in kitchen. She looked around. She had servants in few seconds. She didn't mind servant. They didn't ask her too many questions. They just obeyed her. She didn't spend much time in chatting with them. So servants just asked her about cooking instructions. She managed to do all without talking. It was so nice. She needed to keep smile and she could do that. She liked it a lot. She started planning for lunch. Her new maid Kashi entered. She wanted her old maid to continue but sadly she was not feeling healthy enough. Her old maid started to have age related problems so she sent this new maid. Kashi was introduced yesterday but she was cooking for first time. Rina didn't say one extra word to her. But Kashi was different. Soon Rina sensed that Kashi was too talkative. Kashi kept talking for hours. Rina didn't answer her but still Kashi kept telling her story of her life. Rina kept smiling as she always did. Kashi took it as encouragement and kept talking again and again. Kashi managed to tell her whole history to Rina in just one day. In end Kashi said " Lunch is ready." When Rina tasted it then she sensed that it was wonderful so Kashi didn't need her guidance. She sensed that Kashi didn't need her help like last maid. They also kept one another maid to help Kashi since they needed hard work. Kashi also managed to accommodate her. She was scary and frustrating. Rina sensed that she was no longer needed in kitchen. She presented food before all. It was perfect. So all fixed Kashi. Her mother-in-law smiled. Her mother-in-law assumed that Rina was upset since she needed to cook alone in kitchen while other daughter-in-law enjoyed freedom from that duty. She thought that this would make Rina happy. Her mother-in-law smiled happily. Rina smiled again. But in her heart she thought like last servant Kashi couldn't manage and come for help. That day Rina sat with all and enjoyed lunch. Everyone was admiring Kashi. It was wonderful occasion for them. Kashi did all to please them. She did everything in perfect way. Rina went back in her room. It was big and beautiful. She was sitting in it. She had big TV. She had music system. She had books. In fact she had everything and if she wanted something more then she could easily arrange it. But still she did nothing. She just kept looking in one zero point. She smiled too much and she was just to tired of smiling. She needed to stop it and relax. She tried to calm herself. She needed to stop feeling sad. She couldn't be negative. She needed to smile when she went outside. She needed to control her feelings. She needed to control her entire pain. She smiled again. She didn't feel it but still she did since it was important. She needed to smile without second thought when she went out. She kept telling it to herself.
Rina's mother-in-law was so happy. She felt that she was using Rina like some labour. She knew that other daughter-in-law didn't work. Even daughters of family rarely visited kitchen. Rina was only regular person. She wanted Rina to have her life. She didn't want to burden her with unnecessary responsibilities. She was so happy that Rina could enjoy her like others. She decided to find Rina's hobby. She sensed that she began to feel so happy. She started to understand that keeping Rina inside kitchen like that was making her guilty. She smiled. Then she began to do her regular routine. She was fond of music. She began to do her practice. She did her singing for hours. Then after sometime she stopped. She felt so fresh and exhausted at same time. She loved singing and it created this impact on her every day. It was so hopeful to her. Then she decided that she must check on Rina. She didn't want to interfere but she thought that she needed to make sure that she was okay. She reached to room. She looked inside. This time she saw clearly that she was watching in sky with vacant empty expressions. Rina's mother-in-law felt so shocked. In that evening she called Ravi in her room. She began to discuss all with Ravi. She thought that Ravi would reject idea or get angry but he just nodded. Ravi " Since marriage she never argued or complained? She always had that plastic smile on her face. She needed to smile on every moment." " But I thought it would be pleasant?" " It will be only if it was natural. Mom one day I was telling her about accident of my friend. She kept smiling. It seemed as if she didn't understand." Rina's mother-in-law shivered. She began to feel that Rina might had some mental trouble. She didn't like that idea. It was too scary for her. " Did Rina told you something about her past?" " No Mom she never trusted me about her childhood or past!" Ravi also started to get tense. He never thought about this thing. He always thought that Rina needed time to adjust. " Do you feel she had some problem?" " Well. Possible. Let's talk with her." " We can't ask her directly Mom?" " Yes you are right. But we must discuss." Then they went out for snacks. Ravi went in room. Once again Rina was watching in sky. When Ravi called her, she immediately smiled and then agreed to all he said. He told her to join them for snacks. During that entire conversation her mother-in-law sensed that Rina never gave any opinion on any thing. It seemed as if she locked herself inside. Then her mother-in-law suddenly sensed that Rina never went to her parents after marriage. She felt that she was missing her parents. Her mother-in-law suggested it. Rina shivered. She began to feel that they were planning to send her back permanently. Ravi would find new wife. She tried to control her tears. Then she started laughing. She didn't understand why. She kept laughing. At beginning they felt that she was happy. But soon they sensed something was wrong with her. Ravi tried to help Rina but nothing was helping her. Finally Ravi called Doctor. Doctor checked her and gave her injection which managed to relax her. She slept peacefully. They began to observe Doctor nervously. Doctor " This is Anxiety attack. I can't tell you why this happened! If you want to know then you must visit psychiatrist." Ravi was so tense. He started to regretting marrying Rina. When Rina woke up she was so tense. Her mother-in-law insisted that she must go to her parents. She didn't want to. But finally she went. Her Mom was happy to see her. But soon they began to sense that something was wrong with her. Finally Rina told all. Her Dad " But you never suffered this way!" " I know Dad but I start to have problems." Mom " Let's visit psychiatrist." Dad nodded. They took appointment. Psychiatrist chatted with her. Psychiatrist called her parents and said " This is Anxiety disorder but you don't need to worry. It started due to stress regarding making marriage perfect. Will you call your husband?" She nodded and she did. Ravi didn't took her call for long time. She began to cry but psychiatrist talked with her and convinced her that she could move ahead without him. She felt so relaxed. After visit of psychiatrist she began to start her life in her old way. Her parents didn't insist on talking to Ravi. They sensed that their force made every thing worst. Finally one day Ravi sent divorce papers. They tried to convince him but he didn't want to compromise. He just wanted freedom from this marriage. He gave her large amount as alimony. Rina was upset at beginning but then she adjusted. She agreed and took it. They got divorced. One day she was shopping when she noticed Ravi with his second wife and kid. She supposed to feel jealous but she didn't. She just felt scared. She didn't want to be in her place. She knew one thing that she didn't want to see Ravi in her life ever again. She didn't want him. He was perfect to world but she didn't want him. She smiled happily since she finally managed to destroy their relationship forever. Some relationship just didn't have future.
The End
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