Forgotten hours
Seema began to write letter. She was careful that no one would notice it. She was doing this for long time. She knew that mobile was better option or she could use chat. But she liked to write letters. She shivered when she didn't understand why did she was feeling so cold today. Weather was little bit rainy but overall okay. She looked out of window. She could sense that rain was not vanishing so soon. Due to Air conditioner even her room window didn't seem comfortable. She was to open window and get natural air inside but she didn't dare. Sandip would react. It wouldn't be small. When Sandip reacted it was always big issue. He started screaming on top of his lung. He began to argue in such big way that entire society could hear. But luckily majority people of society had Air conditioners like them so no one heard him except watchman. She sensed that few times watchman was looking towards her with suspicion. He was observing her. She felt that he was observing did she had any marks on her face or hands. He was searching for marks which appeared due to domestic violence. But they never appeared since Sandip always kept screaming. It was his habit. He didn't hit her. But his screaming was so irritating. She didn't like to tolerate it. She got her entire day to enjoy when he was in office so it was perfect for him. He kept screaming for one thing or another after returning from office but she tolerated. Sandip was not her choice for marriage. She didn't want to marry him. In fact she tried to marry many boys. But no one seemed interested in her. They came on two dates then they started making excuses. She didn't understood cause but they didn't like her that much. Mostly she felt that they didn't like her salary. She didn't earn much. It was upsetting for them. She wanted to look great to them but it was not working. She wanted to get married on that point at any cost. Sandip came as date on that moment when she wanted to prove all that she could find a man who loved her. She wanted to prove herself. She was not concerned about anything else. She discussed with Sandip her troubles. He also told her about his anger. She agreed to accept it. She knew . After this every one started to tell her that he must behave when he came on party. She couldn't take responsibility. It was so complicated. He didn't agree to coming on parties. He wanted to go there. Then she needed to be careful that he would not upset anyone. She was so frustrated. But she knew that she took risk. She needed to move ahead with it. She took deep breath. She wanted to tell someone all about it. She didn't do email since she knew that what would her friend's advice. They would suggest divorce. She didn't want to go back to her parents. She didn't want to go back to life before her marriage. It was complete failure. She wanted to try some way to survive this marriage. But she didn't understand how so she started writing letters. She didn't meant to send them. She didn't want anyone to know. She just wanted to write so she started to write them to her dead friend. She liked this idea very much. She started to write today too.
Sandip was working hard to get more money. He took wrong decision of marriage. He was sensing that he needed to earn more. He had defect in his nature. He managed to get angry easily and it was proving worst for him. He didn't understand how could he keep her happy. She kept upsetting to him. She kept talking wrong things. He kept feeling so upset due to her. He didn't understand why she needed to keep demanding. She wanted this in his house and that for his house. She kept calling it " Our house." But she did nothing for it. It was so upsetting. He didn't understand why she needed to act like that. Her demands kept increasing one after another and it was very upsetting for him. He didn't understand why did he marry to her in first place. He never loved her. He knew she didn't love him too. He could see it clearly in her eyes. If she felt something positive at him but then her eyes started showing totally different thing. She didn't appreciate him at all. She kept getting irritated at his every word. He didn't understand why did she married to him. He began to feel that she was not truly interested in him. It was just because someone needed to feed her. He knew that her parents wanted to get rid of her. She was elder daughter. They had two sons and she was obstacle in their marriage. He sensed it but he felt that due to this they wouldn't interfere in their marriage. But it didn't happen that way. They just nodded his every suggestion before marriage. After marriage they started complaining about everything. They started objecting all. They began to tell her that she must control him this way and that way. He didn't like it. He kept working daily to please her demand and they just kept saying one thing. He needed to find way to fulfil her every demand. They kept saying all women got these things. But many of them were earning themselves. In fact few were earning more than husband. But he knew that there were plenty of women who had husband who earned large salary. Everything was so upsetting to him. They kept taunting him. It was not about just his in-laws every one was taunting him. After marriage they kept giving advice to him. They kept telling him how did he supposed to treat wife. They kept telling how much amount he needed to spend on her. Most importantly many of them were telling him that he needed to save. They began to talk about their kids. He didn't understand how could they jump so ahead. They were just married. He was not even certain about future of their marriage. He kept throwing those angry fits like the one he threw in her Uncle's house. He was sure that it took just few days and she would divorce him. He didn't understand why did they sense those troubles. Many hated him. But no one was suggesting divorce and he wanted someone who could. He wanted to get rid of her. He married to her with hope of positive in life. But it all turned out to be fake. She didn't give any positive in his life. She was always negative. She was behaving in such aggressive way. She kept showing off to him that she was happy. But he could see it in her eyes. She hated him. He knew that they needed to end this marriage. It was only solution to them. But no one was suggesting it. He knew that one day they would reach to it. He was trying hard to find way to suggest it to her. He started working again. Seema finished her letter. She sensed one thing after completing it. She needed to find some way to make it look perfect. She knew that it was not but she was not planning to give up. She liked this house. She knew that she felt caged but it was okay. She didn't want to go back to her normal life with parents. She didn't need it. She didn't need to go back to her parents. They were not wealthy. She didn't want to become irritating burden on them. She wanted to settle here. She decided that she would behave extra sweet today. It would please him. She knew about his choices. She began to cook what he liked. She knew his angry nature but she decided to adjust with him. She needed his lifestyle but she needed his everything. She didn't understand why did he needed to be so stubborn. He could just give smile to her and she could forget all. She wanted to make this marriage successful. She decided that she would cook perfect meal. She knew that she needed a perfect job to please him that meal she cooked. But she knew that it was impossible task. She just told herself that she would be fine. She took deep breath and began cooking. When Sandip came towards door of his flat, he could easily smell his favourite food. He suddenly felt so happy. He no longer wanted to divorce her. He began to feel that he must give this one try. It was important to him. He rang door bell. That day everything went ahead in perfect way. They spent one day like perfect couple and they felt that this was beginning of their perfect journey. Sandip began to feel that she loved him. He began to sense affection towards her. That day was so beautiful day of their life that they wanted to stop every thing on that moment. But it was not going to happen. Next day Sandip woke up on regular time. He turned towards her. She was sleeping peacefully. He didn't try to wake her up. She was looking so nice just like some baby. He didn't wake her up. He just went away to office. He knew that he needed tiffin. He decided that he could manage without one. He decided that she was happy in her sleep he wouldn't disturb her. All was so perfect. He truly enjoyed all. He was so happy. He went to office while singing. First time he was not angry. He began to think positively about his marriage. He began to feel that it would work and it would give success to him. His marriage was most wonderful thing for him on that day. He sat in taxi and went on his work. He looked out. He saw sun and felt that he was seeing finally sun rise of his life. He began to feel that he wouldn't get angry again. He felt that surely he needed wonderful wife like Seema. She was truly in love with him.
Seema woke in tense way. Her entire night was disturbed due to nightmares. She didn't understand why did she was feeling so upset. She knew that after dinner everything went in perfect way. She did all to please him. She supposed to be happy since he was happy. It was perfect day. She needed to feel it but she didn't feel it. Something was wrong. She didn't understand why she was not that much happy. He was happy today. But she was so upset. She sensed that she could make him happy but she didn't feel happy. She didn't like this idea. It was not making any sense. She needed to feel happy too. She knew that she managed to convince him that their marriage would survive but she was not happy in this marriage. She didn't understand why she did this. She sensed for money. She once again tried to look out of AC window. She knew that she couldn't see anything but it was her habit to look out. She didn't understand why she was doing this. She was so confused. He was happy but she was not. He kept getting angry and she needed to control it. He had money. No doubt. But she didn't feel it was enough. She wanted to get rid of him. She sensed that She wanted to murder him. She looked at that window. She began to plan all. She started writing it on paper. She wrote it all in letter. She wrote every word carefully. She planned it all. He supposed to go in office. He would be happy at beginning but then slowly he started to get breathless. She started to imagine his breathless feeling. She was so happy. Then she began to feel so upset. She didn't understand why she was so upset. She knew that it was all fake. She couldn't kill him by just writing on letter. Those letters were just her imaginary thoughts. She needed to concentrate on them to reduce her frustration. She kept writing all evil wishes for him. Then she cooked his favourite dinner. Once again she got ready just the way he wanted. She did make up to please him. She sat before mirror and began to look at herself. She kept watching herself. She sensed that her every gesture was giving happiness to him but it was frustrating for her. But she needed that money. Sandip was so happy once again every thing went in perfect way for him. He got whatever he wanted. He was just interested in keeping himself happy. He didn't care what was happening to Seema. He didn't sense her face was not happy. He was enjoying his life which was enough for him. He suddenly began to feel that divorce was not needed. Seema was not happy but soon she began to sense that she no longer remembered those hours which she spent with Sandip. It was so confusing. She remembered that Sandip came in home. Then she remembered waking up and Sandip was gone. It was scary but she didn't dare to say anything to Sandip. At beginning Sandip was happy. He began to feel everything was perfect. But one day he sensed that Seema was dressing in different way. He began to feel her dresses were getting too bold. He thought that she was doing it because it was just for him. But soon he sensed that it was not about him. Something was wrong. She was so strange. She didn't seem to remember anything about her morning. One day she suddenly started to ask " Do you want to bring drinks?" Now this was shocking. Seema hated drinking. He nodded. That night she drank with him. She danced with him in strange way. It seemed as if she was in some club. He enjoyed it but he didn't like it. He was not sure that she was in her senses. He ignored it. Then one day he decided that he must talk with her in day time. It was his holiday. He was working even on holidays for long time. Finally his project was over. He managed to stay home. He went in kitchen. He cooked breakfast. Then he came in room. Seema woke up. She was so confused to see him. She didn't remember seeing him that much. She didn't remember her nights and he never appeared before him in daytimes. She smiled. She began to avoid him. But he sat with her. He smiled. This time he felt that his smile was real. He asked " What happened?" She didn't say anything. Finally he asked direct question " Do you remember what happened last night?" She shivered with fear. She was so scared. She didn't remember anything. She knew that something was wrong with her. She started to try to remember something. She worked so hard but she didn't. She began to cry. He was so confused. She was nice to last night. They were sharing wonderful ideas and dreams. He didn't understand why did she felt so upset. " What happened?" She said slowly " I don't remember last night." " What? But why?" " I don't know. I don't remember any night." " I really don't understand what you are trying to tell me?!!" " I am telling you. I don't remember any night for long time." He was so angry. " Why don't you tell it to me?" " Because you might throw me out of house. I want to stay in this house. You are owner." " Stop this." Sandip took deep breath. At beginning he didn't love her but now he did. He sensed it strongly on that time. He wanted her to be normal. He began to feel it might be happening due to his anger. " I am your husband. This is your house. You don't need to feel insecure about it. If we get divorce I give this house to you so no need to stay with me for it. Stay since you love me!" She started crying. She didn't understand anything. She didn't hate him but she didn't love him too. " I don't understand anything. I just don't remember any night." " Let's go to psychiatrist." She didn't like this idea. She began to feel he wanted to declare her mad. She said angrily " I am fine." He started to look tense.
Sandip was began to feel so uneasy. She kept acting nice with him when he came from office. But he knew that she didn't remember anything. He didn't like this. He was living in world where his wife didn't remember any thing next day. He began to lose interest and she started feeling upset. One night she asked " Are you feeling bored?" " Yes I am." " Why?" " Since you don't remember this in day." She started laughing. " Who told you this? I remember all. I always stay in her. " "In who?" " I mean I am who I am in day. I can't become something else. Right?" " But you don't remember." She looked so confused. " I want you to go to psychiatrist. But you don't. " " Oh in day I can't." " What about now?" She smiled. " I will. In evening we can go." He smiled. He tried to tell same thing in day. She began to scream on him. Seema " I am not mad." He nodded. He called doctor. He told him everything. Doctor gave him number of. Psychiatrist took some time to take gcall. Psychiatrist " Yes." He told all. Psychiatrist gave appointment of evening. He went home in evening. Seema was ready. He went with her. Then psychiatrist talked with her alone for long time. Psychiatrist then called him. Psychiatrist " Your wife is suffering from dissociative personality disorder. This happened when person suffer from some trauma. Did something happened between you and her beside normal argument." He told about his argument at Uncle's house." "This can't be cause. I will find true cause step by step." Sandip felt so confused. Sandip " What did I suppose to do?" " Don't worry I will explain all. But first you need to do anger management. Are you ready for your treatment too?" He agreed. He wanted to be fit to cure his wife. Then slowly step by step Seema started to tell. She didn't want to go home since her father kept abusing her daily. He didn't want her back. Even her Mom was frustrated by her. They didn't hit her but their words didsee er day she went out with one friend who was boy to get one job. On that day her Dad hit her before all. No one came to stop him. After that Seema married to Sandip and Sandip's words triggered her pain. She began to see her father in him. She didn't want to adjust with him on other point she needed to adjust which lead to this mental trouble. Now her family wanted her back since they knew she could get flat and alimony but she didn't want to go back. Step by step Psychiatrist managed to solve Seema's trouble. Sandip's anger was reduced too. They started to live normal life in which sometimes she adjusted and sometime he adjusted.
The End
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