Birthday party
Rajat was driving happily. It was just pleasant sunny day. He didn't expected such nice day for picnic. It was all going to be perfect. It was his birthday. He was excited to go there. He had invited many friends. Until now he never threw such big birthday party. His Dad was against it. Truthfully his Dad was against everything which was pleasant for him. But now finally his Dad was no more. He didn't want to say it in pleasant way but he kept feeling happy about it. This was his first birthday after his Dad's death. He managed to plan it in big way. At first his Mom objected. He still remembered that big scene. His Mom called his elder brother and his family. His elder brother Prakash was always concerned about public opinion. Prakash was so scared that something might damage his family. He kept talking about his family entire time. Prakash was not so unhappy with his Dad since his Dad was giving all opinions which he seemed to agree with or he pretended. Rajat didn't knew properly but he knew one thing that Prakash did everything at back. It was so wrong but still he did it and enjoyed his life. He kept lying and Rajat never liked lying that much. He kept fighting against his Dad. It began to get worst when he started to demand his rights. He wanted birthday parties. He wanted to enjoy sometime with his friends. But Dad never permitted it and he hated it on every moment. He kept feeling sad and frustrated. He wanted his freedom. He was feeling so miserable. He was planning to kill himself. He couldn't live there. He tried so hard to get his freedom but nothing seemed to work. He wanted to go in hostel but his Dad didn't want to waste his money. His Dad kept telling him " Learn to live in what you have like good boy." He was forced to forget all. He was ready to accept it if he was truly from poor background but it was not truth. He knew that his Dad have lots of money. He just wanted to spend few rupees of it and he considered criminal. He worked hard and finally got graduate. He was expecting that his troubles would be over but it didn't happen. He couldn't able to find suitable job and his Dad never tried to help. He was so helpless and hopeless when his Dad informed them that he got cancer. It was worst thing for his family but he was happy. He didn't want to feel it but still he was feeling strange joy on his Dad's every pain. He didn't want to feel it but he was sensing it. His Mom was crying for his Dad and Prakash was married by then so he was living separately. But he came to pretend on each weekend. She kept calling and inviting people. He was so irritated. Soon he sensed that this sickness was not easy escape. Once again he forced to help his Dad in his worst time when his Dad never did it for him. He just hated that man's face. His face just brought out worst memories in his mind. But he controlled himself. He waited patiently. Finally his Dad died so he was free now. He was so happy but when he began to plan his birthday. Prakash came running. Prakash sat with Mom consoling her. He began his drama again. Prakash " Rajat I know you had argument with Dad but it's better if you keep it to ourselves." " I am not complaining in public I just want to celebrate party. I want to live my life and you are objecting it." Then Prakash kept convincing him. Prakash started lecturing. It was hard to tolerate but he still tolerated and finally he said " Enough Prakash. You went ahead as you wish did I objected?" Prakash forced to say 'no'. " Then let me move my way." Then his Mom kept crying. He was so frustrated. He decided that he didn't want to eat even at home. He kept moving around hotels for dinner and lunch. His Mom tried to call him but he didn't took her call. He had enough of that nonsense. He kept feeling upset. He decided that he was no longer interested in this drama. He kept avoiding his house. After his father's death he earned limited amount and a small house far away from town. He started living there. At beginning Prakash used to irritate him with calls but then slowly he stopped. He started to get involved with his life. But his Mom never stopped emotionally blackmailing him. She kept crying every day until he didn't started to ignore her call. And after so much efforts he finally managed to get plan for his birthday party. It was picnic. He was so happy when that day turned out to be sunny. He was planning so many things. He was on top of the world when he reached on that spot. Everything was looking so perfect. But still He kept feeling restless. He didn't understand why. He looked around picnic tables. Then he saw his guests. He sensed that they all were looking around. He was expecting them to admire. But suddenly one guest screamed " My God!! There are red ants." Suddenly all guests started to move away. They started to look around with fear. It seemed as if those red ants were some monster according to them. He began to feel upset. He knew that those red ants were so deadly to them that they were no longer interested in enjoying party. He tried to calm them. One guest suggested " Let's shift tables." They all looked upset. Another guest " This supposed to be party but we need to work and arrange here." Rajat felt so helpless and sad. Rajat " No need to do that I will call some servants." He called servants. They immediately shifted tables. Rajat thought that finally it was over. Now they could enjoy but soon they all started complaining about heat. Sun was coming directly on that spot. He could clearly hear his guests regretting coming to party. He wanted to change it all. But he couldn't. He knew that his party was turning in worst way. He didn't want to cry before guests so he smiled. When that party was over he was so glad. He called his Mom and apologised. It finally became over. He thought that he would never feel desire to celebrate birthday and it was perfect. He thought that his Dad was right. Birthday parties were nothing but curse for all. He began to hope that birthdays would create good impacts. But he decided that they were wastage. He went ahead with his life in normal way without second thought about it.
One day Rajat was watching TV when suddenly his phone rang. He didn't like it's sound. He knew that phone was not always bad news but he was getting superstitious about it. But he needed to pick it up so he took deep breath and took that call. His fear turned out to be true it was his brother Prakash. Prakash " How are you?" He was so upset. He knew that Prakash normally called him just to demand some work from him. He didn't like it. He didn't want to keep helping Prakash. He did it as much as possible but now he wanted his life too. Prakash always called him with some demand like ' will you pick up kids.' on that point they were just kids but when it came to decide something or use some right on them. Prakash immediately changed his tone to ' my kid'. One day while picking up his nephew Rajat saw one ice cream shop. That kid was getting upset by heat. Rajat offered him ice cream. They ate it and enjoyed. Next day kid got throat infection. Prakash literally screamed on him. Prakash was acting hysteric. Prakash was looking so desparate as if Rajat tried to kill or murder his son. After this it started to feel helping Prakash with kids was biggest burden. He hated his call. But he needed to take otherwise Prakash would call Mom and he didn't want Mom to send anyone to confirm he was fine. His Mom was strange lady. She didn't understand meaning of privacy. She always kept spying on him and kept telling it was her concern. If it was truly her concern about him then she should be doing something nice and positive for him. She shouldn't be criticizing him everyday. She was not truly concern. She was just trying to do bossing. She was just desparately wanted to control him. Rajat hated it. He didn't want visit from relative with his family or her family. So he took call. Prakash seemed very happy on phone. Prakash " I am planning birthday of my son." Rajat didn't understand why but suddenly he began to feel strange fear in his soul. When Prakash said birthday suddenly his entire world started to shake. He didn't understand what was wrong. He wanted to accept invitation happily but it was not happening. He was so scared. He didn't understand his reaction. He began to feel so sick. He told his brother " I try.." " What happened? Why you sounded so confused? You must come otherwise people will talk. This will create impact on my son's life. You must come." Rajat was feeling so sick in his stomach. He began to feel so scared. He wanted to feel okay but he was not okay. " Actually I am sick." " Once again? What's wrong with you? Why you keep getting sick again and again? You need to find cause. I mean you are getting sick alternate day. I don't like it. Did you done full body check up?" Now this thought managed to scare him. Rajat didn't want to go to Doctor with Prakash. Prakash came with him and then Prakash would keep taunting him on his health. Actually Rajat didn't have many health issues but Prakash seemed perfect on each day. But then whenever it came to doing some work regarding Mom Prakash suddenly started complaining about his health. Rajat needed to go and do entire work. Rajat didn't understand how could his brother kept claiming he was healthy and he was sick at same time. When it came to partying his brother was healthy and when it came to doing some work his brother was sick. In fact Rajat helped Prakash lots of time with his kids too. But Prakash never showed much respect about it. Rajat didn't feel sad about it. Truthfully he enjoyed company of kids without taking their future responsibility. But he hated when Prakash started bullying him. He began to get upset. Rajat wanted pleasant touch of freedom. Rajat felt happiness from his soul about everything. But Rajat was feeling so sick. " I don't know. I went to Doctor who suggested many tests and all looked perfect." Rajat was lying. Doctor never suggested any test. Doctor said that he was perfect just after checking him. He didn't want to tell this to Prakash since he knew that Prakash would give list of specialists and he would be forced to visit them. It was so irritating. He needed to understand that his own sickness was mental trouble. There was nothing physical inside it. He was so confident at beginning that he would get over it. But as time went ahead he sensed that it was not easy. He wanted to get success. But he was feeling so upset. Prakash " Then you should change Doctor. Take some medicine and come to party I want you to come on party." Rajat knew very well that it was not about him. True concern from soul was just about public. It would have different effects on his mind. But Prakash didn't care. Rajat didn't understand what kind of family he got. No one seemed to care for him. They all cared just for themselves. He was so frustrated. He opened his cabinet. He began to search for medicines. He soon found suitable medicine for stomach. He decided to take them. He knew party was after seven days. But he needed to handle it. He felt so sure that everything would be perfect. Then he suddenly began to remember his father's words. His father always told him "Rajat I am god gifted look at me. I can get anything." Then he would stop for some seconds. After sometime his father began again. " You are keep getting sick Rajat." He would say it in such voice that he began to feel sick from soul. Rajat began to feeling he was most disgusting thing of earth. He was some sinner who was getting punished by God for his crime. He began to feel only if he was as perfect as his father but he was weak in health. He would never become perfect. He knew that his father was dead and he supposed to forget all but Prakash kept reminding him it everyday. Prakash was replica of his father for Rajat. Rajat wanted to bang Prakash's call but he knew that it wouldn't help much. It would manage to create worst impact on his life. Since his Mom would come to him and started to do patch up which was most irritating. He didn't like to pretend. He was never going to like his brother so he just kept listening.
Rajat began to eat carefully since he didn't want to be sick at party time. He wanted to look perfect. He began to eat like sick person. He kept feeling that this type of eating would kept sickness away. He was so tense. He didn't even able to get enjoy his favourite movie. He kept feeling so upset. He kept checking whole time for different kind of diseases. He didn't want to suffer with them. He wanted to study different conditions which would have impact on mind. He wanted to find what was his physical condition. He wanted to get over his sickness. But he kept feeling so upset. He didn't understand why he was not feeling fine even after taking so many precautions. He was studying different steps which would have impact on health. He started to learn different ways which would show give hopes for his health. He wanted to feel healthy. He desired to feel perfect in every way. But he was feeling so sick and upset. He didn't understand what was wrong with him. He was so tense. From that day he began to eat food as simple as he could. Then one day suddenly his Mom called. Mom " I am planning to come and stay with you for few days." His Mom did worst thing for him now. His Mom was coming to join him. He knew that he needed to pay full attention to her now. She would become his guest which meant full time attention. But he couldn't object her. After all she was his mother and she had full right to stay with him. She was his mother and he was supposed to take care of her. He was lucky that she didn't insist on joining permanently. He was scared of that thought sometimes. He was so occupied in his thoughts that he didn't answer his Mom for long time. His Mom asked angrily "What happened? You don't want me to stay with you?!!" He managed to control his emotions. He smiled and began to talk in friendly way. He knew his Mom couldn't see his smile but it truly helped him to change his mood. He didn't want to upset anyone. He needed to talk nicely with Mom. " No..no Mom it is not about me. I am sick." " What? What happened?" " I don't know. My stomach is so upset." His Mom sounded concerned. Mom " Now a days we keep getting sick due to this weather and food is not even healthy. I really miss that old fashioned style of growing food. On those days food use to be healthy. We use to like it even by little spices but now we need to do so many things.." " And those things damage our health." He was so happy that his Mom didn't considered as bad thing. He was sick and his Mom felt that it was perfectly natural thing. She didn't consider it as something wrong or shameful. He suddenly began to feel glad that his Mom was coming home. She was considerate about it. She began to sense his troubles. Rajat "Mom if you have some time then we could chat with each other." Mom sounded shocked " Since when you began to need to request for my attention? I will come whenever you ask. I am your Mom!! I can do anything for you." Rajat " Mom just come." He started waiting for his Mom with patience. He needed to talk with her. He didn't able to understand his sickness. He needed someone's help to do that. He was even thinking of changing Doctor. He was so scared to do it alone. But with his Mom he felt that everything was perfect. She could handle all his behind. She could find solutions. He was so happy to have her back. He didn't understand why did he felt scared of her at beginning. She was his Mom and his best support of life. He waited with hope. Finally his Mom came. She rang door bell. He opened it. Just after seeing her face he felt strange relief. He invited her inside. His Mom looked at him with confused expression. Mom " Are you alright?" " Yes I am!!" " Then why are you sitting in such darkness?" He felt so upset. He didn't sense that he forgot to start tube lights. He never paid that much attention in his house. " Mom I sit sometimes that way.." " I know to relax your eyes." His Mom gave nice smile. Rajat " Mom you can sit here and I will bring some lemonade for you." Mom nodded. Mom " Thanks I need it after such long journey. I am feeling so thirsty and weak." His Mom sat and Rajat went inside. Mom started to observe that house and she immediately sensed that something was wrong with her son. Rajat's house didn't have any decoration pieces. It had all items which claimed that they would reduce sickness with spiritual power. Mom knew it since she saw them all in her friend's house who was cancer patient. But her son Rajat was not cancer patient!! He was not even so sick. She didn't understand why did he keep such things on his every wall. She opened his cabinet. It was full of medicines too. He kept all times medicines as if his sickness could change it's form. She didn't understand since when he became so sick. Mom was staying away from Rajat but she kept continue watch on him. His neighbour was Mom's good friend. She always kept telling her about Rajat. She never informed about any serious sickness. But she called few days ago and told her that Rajat was keeping total darkness in his house. Mom didn't like it and came here. Mom knew that Rajat didn't like company. This happened due to his father's attitude. She knew that she needed to do something. She didn't understand why? She was so upset. She didn't understand which way was right to take Rajat's life on track. She created one excuse with party to enter in his life. She was not planning to go out until she found some solution. She knew something was wrong with Rajat and it was increasing on each day and she wanted to stop it. She planned to do it step by step.
Rajat came back with lemonade. He saw his Mom was admiring his interior. He was happy at beginning then he felt confused. He sensed that his interior didn't have any piece of decoration. It had just good luck bringing talisman. He didn't understand why did he kept them. Actually none of them was truly working. He was still getting sick. But then he was scared to remove them too. What if he began to get more sick. He kept them. He never sensed that this collection of good luck pieces became obsession to them. He started keeping those pieces as part of decoration. He didn't want to appear obsessed about good charms so he began to laughing. " What happened Mom? I don't bought it my friend gave it to me. He is kind of obsessed with them." "He or she? I thought you might have girlfriend and planning a marriage." He laughed loudly. He was so weak and unhealthy. He couldn't marry and destroy life of girl. He didn't want to do that. Rajat " Mom I made it clear to you that I don't want to marry. I am happy here." " Okay. But I don't understand why did you feel you are so sick?" He shivered now. He wanted to hide it from Mom. But it was coming out. Rajat " Mom nothing is wrong." " But I can see it on every wall." Rajat shivered. It was all so complicated. He took deep breath and said " Mom everything is perfect. I am just little upset about situation." " What situation?" Rajat shivered. He felt that it was stupid. But he sensed that he must confess. His fear of birthday was increasing. " Did you remember birthday party I gave after Dad's death?!!" " Yes.." Rajat took deep breath. He said " It become flop and after it I am scared of every birthday." Rajat felt that Mom would sense his pain. But she started laughing as if it was one joke. He was so upset. He began to feel insulted. Without second thought he began to threw things. He began to scream " You don't care for me. You are laughing on my pain." His Mom was confused and shocked. She didn't understand his pain. But now she sensed that something was totally wrong. Mom " Just relax.." But her words were useless. Rajat kept throwing things until he finally didn't get exhausted. He didn't felt that he should control himself. Mom was shivering now. She just said one thing" You are sick. You need Doctor." She called Doctor. Rajat was looking out of window when Doctor came. When Doctor asked him about his troubles, he just kept talking about his stomach. Then Doctor went in other room and said quietly to Mom " This is all mental. He needed psychiatrist." " But he isn't willing." " Did you ever tried?!!" Mom told him entire incidence. Mom " Just due to my laughing he is so upset how could I convince?" Doctor thought for few moments. Doctor " Let's go inside. I will do it." Doctor sat beside Rajat and began to talk about many things. Finally Doctor gave him one card " Just keep this. In case you felt like trying." Then Doctor came out. Doctor " Let's see sometimes it work." At beginning Rajat tore it in pieces. Mom saw it and felt hopeless. Then after sometime that day of birthday party came near he started to feel restless. He wanted to look normal but he was not normal. His hand was shaking with fear. He was feeling so upset. He tried to act normal. But he could sense that he was not. His Mom didn't say anything. But he could read in her expression. His Mom was so tense. Still she kept artificial smile intact. Then finally one day he decided to give up. He began to felt that it was useless fight. He couldn't do it. He wanted to kill himself. But then he suddenly remembered that card. He began to search for it's pieces. He wanted to give it last try before death. He shivered with fear. But he managed to join those pieces. He soon sensed one thing his maid didn't use broom that much in his bedroom. Dirt of his room was never cleaned. He got all pieces and joined them. He found number and took appointment. He didn't told his Mom truth about going to Doctor. He just claimed that he was visiting friend. He went there. He sat for long time and finally went inside. Psychiatrist welcomed him with smile. He told all. Psychiatrist " You are not physically sick. You are just scared. You are suffering due to depression due to your father's attitude. Then that birthday party got connected in mind with that depression. When we will reduce your depression, you can go to those birthday parties." Rajat "But I don't want to." Psychiatrist " You will when I will cure you." " But why party is so important?" " Party is not important but you must not feel scared. That is important." Rajat nodded. Rajat started his treatment. Rajat didn't sense when he started to feel safe by just chatting. It was route to reduce his fear.
The End
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