Learning to drive
Mitali was feeling so upset. She needed to learn to drive. She was trying so hard to do it. She knew that she was scared of cars. It was so wrong. She didn’t need to feel scared of cars. She was never in accident. She never saw accident but still when she walked on road, she felt so scared. She kept looking behind. She felt that some vehicle would come from behind & hit her. She began to feel so tense & restless. She wanted to feel positive but it was not happening. She didn’t want to feel scared about traffic so she decided to learn driving. It was little bit scary. But she needed to learn it. She was so stressed by cars. She slowly went near driving school but she began to feel so odd in her head. Suddenly she began to get breathless. Her breathing became so heavy. She started to feel anxiety in her heart. She began to try to breath but she couldn’t. She began to make strange noise. It was so scary. She was so helpless. On that point one man who was walking on road came running to her aid. “ What happened sister?” She couldn’t speak. Immediately he began to call for help. She tried to relax but she couldn’t. Then crowd gathered around her. They began to search for Doctor. On that point Cop came. Cop said loudly “ Don’t crowd around her! Let her get some air.” Another Cop came running. “ Go away we will handle it.” Slowly people began to move ahead. One Cop helped her to sit in their car. They immediately took her to some hospital. Doctor checked her. Doctor “ This seem like some Anxiety attack to me.” “ Do you have some mental issues?” She turned her head negatively. Then Doctor said “ I can’t ignore it just as mental issue. We will admit you but you need to make payment. Will you call your family?” Now she shivered with fear. She didn’t told her father-in-law that she was coming here. Her husband Ravi was going to be very upset. She smiled & said “ It’s okay. I am scared of cars & traffic.” By this time Cop was gone just Doctor was discussing. Clearly Doctor was not planning to let her go without proper inquiries. She regretted that she tried to drive. She said slowly “ I am scared from childhood. There isn’t exactly any cause.” Doctor kept watching her. She felt so nervous. Now Doctor was going to blame her. She didn’t want to be taunted or called inferior. She knew that she was inferior but it became worst when someone declared it before Ravi. Ravi smiled towards her. His that look began to make her sick. She was so tense. Doctor “ You are saying you are scared of cars without cause? Then it’s possible you might hate closed places.” She didn’t say yes to it. But she was not so sure. “ Closed places means.” Doctor smiled “ If you had issue then you should have known! I mean you can’t go in lift or in small room..” She didn’t fear scared sometimes when she stood in lift with Ravi but it was nothing serious. She was sure about it. She smiled happily. “ No..no I am just scared of car. Now I will stay away.” She stood up to go. But Doctor stopped her. Doctor “ We need to confirm it’s not heart attack.” She began to laugh nervously. “ It’s not & I will do check up from my Doctor.” She knew that this idea would work. Doctor never try to stop you when you say you are patient of other Doctor. Then that Doctor nodded. He gave her one paper. “ You must do all these tests & must tell on Reception that you are taking discharge.” She became tense now. “ Do I need to make payment?” Doctor smiled & told how low was that payment. She smiled. She did payment & took discharge papers. That Nurse said slowly “ Madam you must do all tests. This is serious.” “ I am okay. I don’t have much issue.” She smiled. She made payment & took file. She was so scared. She immediately called her father-in-law. Harish Bhai took call. “ Papa I am coming soon.” “ It’s okay. Ravi is not here. I am alone in shop. You can say you were in shop. So do you learn driving?” “ I will tell you all later.” Mitali was so tense. She didn’t want to face Ravi on that point. She just began to call Cab. Soon she managed to reach school of her son. That day she was little late. Tushar was already waiting for her with anxiety & fear in eyes. She came running. Tushar immediately ran towards her with school bag. She took him in arms & thanked teacher. She once again went back to her Cab. She kept thinking positively about all. Tushar asked her with innocent black eyes that were full of shine. “ So when you will take me to magic ice park without Dad?” It hurt her soul. She felt as if someone pushed dagger in her heart. Tushar didn’t want his Dad with them. Ravi kept screaming & scaring them whole time. Ravi was much painful company that Tushar was not even interested in visiting any amusement park if Ravi planned to take them. Tushar disliked Ravi & it was clear. She needed to learn driving then one day she could take him. She smiled & she said slowly “ I will learn but until then your Uncle can drive you.” Tushar smiled happily but then he slowly said “ But he will be busy.” Her brother just married. Clearly he was going to spend time with wife not nephew. It was wrong even to demand. She took deep breath & said " Don't worry I will learn driving. I can’t able to go today but I will go tomorrow.” Tushar smiled sweetly then he added “ Let’s go to my favourite mall today with Auto.” She smiled happily. She could do that. Her cook managed to cook food already so she had time for her son. Tushar needed full attention at this age. She needed to concentrate on his studies too. She slowly said “ We will first need to complete our homework.” Tushar laughed sweetly. “ My homework Mommy..” he always called her Mommy so sweetly that she forget all issues of her life on that movement. It was so pleasant. She said with confidence which she was not feeling in heart. She was Mom! She must do it. She smiled so sweetly. Then they went home. She helped Tushar for hours in homework. On that point she got call from Ravi. She took it immediately. She began to hear his instructions. She supposed to obey him. He was his son. Of course she was mother but she was not so important. He kept making it clear on each & every step.
Mitali did all as Ravi told. She obeyed his every word. She didn’t dare to disobey him. Her life was becoming so painful. She had few luxuries but she knew that Ravi was already planning to stop cook from next month. He made clear to her that Cook couldn’t get increment. He said “ She is coming so late & now Tushar is already big boy. You can start cooking. She immediately agreed with him. She never questioned him or she never asked wrong sort of questions to him. She always gave special respect to him. Now she needed to start cooking again. On that point her mobile rang. It was her cook. Cook “ Madam actually I got another job nearby they want to me to join..” then Cook waited. Clearly Cook was asking with silence could she increased salary which deserved increase from long time. According to Cook cooking was excellent but Ravi began to complete. Mitali didn’t understand what she supposed to say. At beginning cooking was excellent but after some point Cook began to get frustrated for more salary so cooking began to suffer. She felt so sad. She said slowly “ I understand.” “ This is beginning of new month so..” “ Don’t worry! I will handle Tushar is grown up boy now.” Cook laughed in pleasant way. Cook “ Really so when he is planning to take a job.” Mitali started laughing loudly. She wasn’t sure if it was joke or taunt of angry person but then Cook said “ Bye.” She knew one thing that now cooking was her responsibility. She went inside & took out vegetables. Tushar asked slowly “ Now Auntie will not come?” She taught him to call Cook auntie. She said sweetly “ No. I will cook nice food for you.” “Daddy wanted her to stop didn’t he?” Tushar was so small but still he was grasping things one by one. She didn’t wanted him to hold negativity towards father so she immediately said “ Actually Auntie was coming too late & taking so much time to complete all.” It was true that her Cook was coming late. But she knew that true cause of salary. Ravi didn’t want to spend money on cook. She began to cut vegetables while teaching Tushar. She looked towards Tushar with affection. She knew that her sole reason of happiness was her son Tushar. Tushar was paying full attention to his studies when suddenly Tushar began to get restless. She asked “ What happened?” He tried to talk but he couldn’t. Her son was not able to breath. She shivered with fear. She tried to smile & tell him all was fine. But her hand was shivering. She called Doctor. She was watching Tushar. She could notice changes. She began to sense his struggle was reducing. She told Doctor all. Doctor told her that she was calling ambulance & asked her address. Then Doctor began to give instructions but she could sense. Something was totally wrong. Her son was watching towards wall with empty eyes. She couldn’t see any feelings. She told it to Doctor. Doctor told her to check heartbeat. She didn’t understand how but she still tried her level best. Her son Tushar was not talking. He was not even trying to take breath. She began to feel so scared. She began to call security. She was not calling now. She was just screaming hysterically. Soon who ever from Society was there came running towards her house. They all surrounded her son Tushar. She began to sense that they were searching for his breath but they couldn’t find it. She was so stressed. She told herself that it was just her imagination. Her son was fine. Soon Doctor came running. Doctor checked. Slowly he turned head negatively. After sometime Ambulance came but it was clear all was useless. She didn’t grasp it. She couldn’t. She took Tushar in hand. She kept arranging his hair. She kept talking to her. She didn’t want to give him to them. But then suddenly she got breathless. She couldn’t breath. Immediately Doctor ran towards her. She was injected with something. All went blank after it. She was so angry that they stopped her from touching Tushar. They just took him to hospital. Ravi was working when he received call from Doctor. It couldn’t be true. He kept listening to Doctor “ But he was with my wife?” “ Yes & she immediately called me. But it was heart attack.” “ But Tushar is too small for heart attack issues.” “ No. Mr. Ravi people have heart defects from birth which went undetected sometimes.” “ Ohh! But surely my wife should have noticed something like getting breathless?!” “ Now in this case she doesn’t notice anything. It’s possible that it was sudden. We can’t win over destiny.” Ravi felt so frustrated. He was so angry. His wife didn’t even manage to take care of their only child. Ravi “ I am coming home.” He stood up & told entire office in loud voice “ My son is dead I must go.” Ravi ran out. Others were so shocked. Some ran after him. But Ravi ran ahead as soon as possible. He wanted to question his wife. It was her mistake. He knew that surely. When he reached house, he saw small crowd of sympathisers waiting for him. But he didn’t need sympathy. He needed to punish his wife who did all. She was responsible for this mess. He knew that it was her mistake that their son was dead. He ran inside. He saw that she was sleeping peacefully. How could she did that? He began to scream on her. During impact of injection Mitali understood just few things. She didn’t recognise Ravi too. She was confused. She suddenly began to ask for bus ticket. In her dream she was travelling to her school by bus. It was so upsetting. She wanted ticket. She began to ask for bus ticket. Ravi wanted to slap her or drag her but he couldn’t her sister was sitting beside him. He began to find his father. Harish Bhai was nowhere visible. He screamed “ Did anyone called my Dad?” Mitali’s sister looked towards him with shock. She didn’t understand why Ravi was screaming on her. It was not her job to inform his father. She was taking care of her sister Mitali whose small son just died due to heart attack. She was planning to scream but then she thought Ravi was father of Tushar so he must be stressed too. She didn’t say anything. Ravi began to scream “ Now I need to call father. My useless wife didn’t able to take care of her only son he died..” Mitali’s sister was shocked. She sensed that now her sister’s life was going to be miserable but she couldn’t take Mitali with her. Her husband was not so rich. Their house was small full of responsibilities. But then she thought that she might ask her husband at least for few days. She looked towards her husband who was looking so pale. She knew that he was thinking same thing. How could Mitali survive with this man now? That marriage was biggest mistake.
When Mitali woke up she didn’t understand what was happening. She looked around her sister was there. She slowly sat. Then she remembered all. “ Tushar!” Ravi came in room & screamed “ He died since he got Mom like you who don’t understand he had heart issue. Have you ever noticed your son getting breathless?” She turned her head negatively. Ravi said angrily to her sister “ She can stay to complete rituals of her son but you must leave I don’t want crowd in my house.” Her sister was so scared. There was tears in eyes of her sister. She didn’t have any option so she left. It was so sad. Mitali felt so nervous. She didn’t understand what was wrong with her. Mitali didn’t sensed anything. She was like some stone doll. Her entire body was shivering with fear. She didn’t understand what was cause. She knew that Tushar never had any problems. She slowly said “ Tushar never had any issue..” immediately Ravi threw a small decorative piece which Tushar gave her. She shivered. She wanted to protest but she was too scared. Her son was dead so what was left. She didn’t say anything when Ravi destroyed all his favourite items. He was clearly enjoying punishing her. On that point Harish Bhai came. “ What are you doing?” “ I don’t want her. She killed my son.” “ Nonsense. Tushar died by heart attack.” “ But she was taking care of him!” “ She is not doctor.” Suddenly Ravi calmed down. He seemed to sense that he couldn’t blame her. He wanted to target her but it was meaningless. He just began to look away. Hari bhai said “ It was destiny. You can still have kids.” Ravi nodded. Mitali didn’t say anything. She was just obeying. As day went ahead she started to obey each order Ravi gave. Ravi was abusing her but she didn’t care. She just wanted to do all whatever she could for Ravi. She couldn’t bring back Tushar. It was her crime. She felt so nervous. She kept staying in house. One day she suddenly saw one car. She remembered that she promised Tushar to learn driving. She smiled. She could hear his voice. She ran out. She told Ravi “ I want to learn driving.” Ravi “ Do you remember Tushar? He is dead. One year is not over yet & you want joy of car driving.” She was obsessed. “ I must learn to drive.” Ravi started screaming on her “ Go inside. Do you understand what I am saying? I am not paying you stupid woman. I will not give money for learning driving. Go inside.” She was so shocked. She couldn’t move. She kept standing there. He began to scream loudly & she started breathing in strange way. She couldn’t breath. It was happening again. She didn’t want to become normal this time. She wanted to die like her son. She didn’t try to cure it like last time. She kept willing it to increase. Harish Bhai screamed “ Come on call ambulance. She is having heart attack. This must be genetic.” Ravi “ She fooled by not telling me before marriage. Let her die.” Ravi went inside without caring for her. But Harish Bhai was so scared. He called Doctor. Ambulance came. She was admitted. When she was admitted, Doctor asked Harish bhai “ Did you had such a issue before?” She couldn’t speak & he didn’t know. Then Doctor began treatment. After sometime Doctor told Harish Bhai. “ I think this is Anxiety attack. Who are you?” “ I am her father-in-law.” “ Where is her husband?!” “ Actually my grandson just died so..” “ Ohh I am so sorry. How did he died?” “ Heart attack?” Doctor gave tense look. “ But I don’t feel your daughter-in-law have that issue. Still let us keep her in hospital & check. Can you do it?” Harish Bhai smiled. “ No problem.” Harish Bhai paid money & called Mitali’s sister. Her sister came running. When she came Mitali was sitting in room. Slowly Mitali confessed about her last Anxiety attack. Her sister immediately called Doctor. Doctor said “ Don’t worry. We will check you physically then if everything will be okay then we will start mental treatment.” Mitali nodded. Ravi never came to visit her. Mitali did physical tests. Then she began mental treatment. She finally discharged. But her mental treatment was going to be continued. When she came in home, she began to work. Ravi came in room & said “ So you killed our son.” She said “ I don’t. Heart attack did.” Then she gave him book which had cases like Tushar. Ravi was so angry. Then she said “ I don’t have anything connected to heart issue so I don’t had heart attack it was just Anxiety attack. We don’t know who had such issues.” She slowly looked towards Ravi. He felt so scared. He sensed she was pointing towards his family. His Mom died due to heart attack. Of course she was not young. Ravi literally ran out of room. She laughed first time after Tushar’s death. She told Harish Bhai “ I am going to learn driving.” She took money out of cupboard before Ravi. He was upset but he couldn’t stop her. She went in same driving school. This time she didn’t had any Anxiety attack. Clearly her treatment worked. She properly went inside. In her mind her little Tushar was smiling happily for her new courage. She was so sad & happy at same time. She knew one thing. She couldn’t change husband but she was not going to surrender him any more. She would fight back. She started her life as strong woman & she entered in driving school with full confidence.
The End
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