Happiness of her soul
Trupti began to count tides of sea. She was feeling so happy. She was feeling as if she was counting her happiness. It was important for her. She kept watching entire scene properly & peacefully. She kept looking towards it. She was feeling so pleased. She kept watching that scene with full attention. She was looking towards that scene & she could clear hear crashing of tides & it was telling her about crashing of her dreams. She knew that her future was no longer certain. She was feeling so upset. She knew that tide couldn’t decide future. But she felt that some strange sound of tides telling her something. Then she told herself that she must not believe in that nonsense. She was feeling so stressed. She was so connected to that sound of sea. She wanted to take break from it but she couldn’t. She wanted to just keep listening to it. Her father called her from behind. She turned. She knew that her father wanted her to come inside. Her father was going to serve her tea. Her father did it in a way to compensate but it was not compensating for her at all. She knew that she was not getting what she deserved. She studied so hard. She got that degree. Then she worked in that office for hours. She was just trainee but still she worked so hard. She began to love that office as her own office . It was hopeful for her. But then one day Owner just decided to close it. Other employees started to find other jobs. But she didn’t. She knew that she wanted something different & unique. It was important for her. She tried to tell herself that she would be positive. But her mind kept turning negative. She lost her hopes. She began to again trying those companies who might gave her chance but they all needed experience. Her experience was limited to them. She worked in one company. She began to think that was not enough. She wanted to feel hopeful. She needed to understand. She was thinking positively when suddenly from background voice of her Mom came. She suddenly felt strange pain in her head. She didn’t understand what was wrong with her head. She began to think that she might needed physical check up. But she knew that it would be too costly. She started to feel so nervous. She began to think what if she needed some serious medical treatment! She knew that her Mom didn’t want to spend money on her. She never understood why. Her Dad was always nice & sweet but her Mom disliked her. She tried her best to please her Mom. Even today she wore just a colour which would be perfect for her Mom. She began to get restless. She smiled to herself & told herself that all was fine. She kept chanting it again & again. It was wonderful. She did different type of work in her company. It was creative. Her Mom wanted her to find a work which gave lots of money. She didn’t like it. She kept telling herself that she needed to like it. She even did her work with full dedication. But now her work was over. She needed to find new. Her Mom came near her. Mom “ So did you find a suitable job?” She knew that her Mom knew very well that she didn’t got any job. She began to feel so upset. She didn’t understand why did her Mom needed to act like this. She kept trying but she couldn’t find. She said slowly “ I am still searching!” “ What? You are still searching?” She nodded. Mom “ You needed to find it soon. It is so problematic. I was planning to bring some boys for you.” She felt sudden excitement. She was happy at thought of her marriage. She smiled towards her Dad. She wanted a man who would be just like her father. Her father always cared for her. He always kept thinking positively about her. It was so stressful in her view. She needed to feel happy which was important for her. She said slowly “ Mom don’t worry. I will find one job.” Then her father added. “ Come on! She will find a rich boy who will not need job.” She smiled happily. She always hoped that. Her Mom started to make strange face. Mom “ This girl is getting spoiled due to you.” Trupti didn’t say much. Trupti just searched newspaper. She took it inside her hand & started searching for ads. She kept reading them one by one. She was so upset while reading each ad. She began to count those which were useful soon she sensed that they were useless in her eyes. She kept thinking about them. She wanted something useful but sadly she didn’t get. She finally saw one ad. They wanted a sales person. She needed it. She decided to make call. Person on opposite side of call talked very sweetly & nicely. She began to feel upset. When he suggested that he needed her biodata, he insisted for photographs of different type. She felt that it was odd. She needed that job. Her Mom insisted. Her head started to pain strange way. She knew that she was sick. But she didn’t say it on mobile. She just said “ Okay.” She smiled. She suddenly sensed her pain was vanished. She went to photographer. She dressed in nice modern way. Her father was gone to office already so she decided to plan all by herself. She began to get dressed. She needed to choose proper dress. She began to arrange all. She did make up of perfect style. She looked in mirror. She kept observing different styles. Finally she arranged all. She went to photographer. She did her best. But she knew that she needed to look her best. Photographer was clearly not looking impressed by her look. Photographer arranged proper make up & told her to do it. She began to do proper make up on her face. She kept asking photographer if it was perfect but he kept making faces which told her that she was looking ugly. She felt so sad. But she kept using make up on her face. Finally after sometime she came before camera. She tried her best to smile but she knew that it all was going to look wrong. She was going to look ugly but she didn’t have much options. She needed those pictures. She asked when she would get them. They said tomorrow & she smiled happily about it. She needed to send them. So she started to arrange envelope properly. She wrote address on it & then placed it on table . She smiled happily with hope. Now she just needed photos.
Trupti looked carefully towards those photos. She started to wait for photos. Her Mom kept asking about job. She kept ignoring her. She was so positive about this job. She came to one conclusion that she needed photos soon. Finally time came for photos. She opened envelope & observed her photos. Her every photo had some mistake. She kept observing then she sensed that she was not beautiful enough. She took out envelope & put all photos inside. She felt so sad. She didn’t like her look. She began to think that she needed to go to better photographer. She felt so sad. She kept watching every photo with full attention. She needed to look better but she didn’t feel she could. But she didn’t have much option. She sent away those photos. Soon she got interview call. She was so happy. She told her Dad about it. She was so sure that was going to be success. She went there with full confidence. But she was shocked when she noticed that door was locked. She waited outside. Finally she waited for some time. She kept getting restless. She was feeling so uneasy. She started to think about ways to contact Boss. She didn’t want to skip chance to make that person Boss. She waited. Finally she asked neighbour about it. At beginning neighbour was friendly but when she mentioned name of her person who called her interview. Neighbour gave her shocked look. Neighbour said “ You are not ready for role? Are you?” She gave confused look. “ Role? I am not actress!” “ He will like to have receptionist who can do all. She suppose to serve tea coffee clean office & sometimes do modelling too. Last one ran away from job just because of it.” Trupti was so tense. She didn’t understand how could she manage this all. Then finally that man came. He gave her one look which told her that she was not enough according to him. She was just too stressed. She needed to get this job any way. She was waiting for this job for such a long time. She kept following his every instruction. She was so upset. She began to feel so hopeless when she entered. That man pointed towards chair. She sat on it. He began to ask questions. She answered them her best. Finally he told her to go. She asked him “ Are you giving this job to me?” He just said “ No.” pushed her biodata back to her. He said “ You are not enough qualified.” She didn’t say anything. She took her papers & went away. She felt so lost. She needed to call & tell her Dad that she was not getting job. She gave sad look. She felt so upset. She wanted to kill herself. Then on that time she suddenly saw her old friend. She was so happy. She went towards him. She smiled. She said “ How are you?“ he smiled. She was so happy. She wanted to win his date once. Of course now she was wise & mature. She didn’t desire it now. She began to feel so upset so she needed someone who cared. She started to look towards herself. She felt that she was okay. She ran towards that friend his name was Mohan. She smiled. Mohan didn’t smile back. Clearly Mohan didn’t recognise her. Mohan was so confused. Trupti told name of college. Mohan smiled & nodded. She sensed that he was not interested. She knew that he was always busy. She never expected any help from him. She just wanted to talk. But she sensed that Mohan was not even interested in talking. She just said bye & went away. But when she went away she suddenly felt as if he was looking towards her. She turned back. He was observing her. She smiled shyly. She knew that he loved her now. She was so happy. She tried to tell herself. She was day dreaming but he was there for her. She was so pleased. She started moving around happily. She began to get upset again. She didn’t want to attach herself to him. She was so positive just by seeing him. She came home. She told that she didn’t got job. Her Mom began to taunt but she didn’t care. She was in her own dream. She managed to get Mohan in her dream. She was so happy. She suddenly remembered that she needed to do some work. It was small sort of work which was not getting money but she loved it. She started doing it. Mohan was in her thoughts. She began to reach for his photos. She knew that he didn’t remember her. Then she felt that he was her hope. She needed to feel positive & he was bringing that positivity to her. He needed her. She knew. She remembered the way he looked towards her. She knew that Mohan would come back to her. She started to smile sweetly at that thought. Then she once again she started searching for job. She finally found one of sales girl. She decided to go for it. She called. It seemed that they had emergency so they would give it to her. She was so happy. She lied to her Mom that it was job of manager. Mom complained about low salary but she decided to ignore. Next day she went there. They talked sweetly when they thought that she was costumer but when they sensed that she was sales girl all affection vanished. She needed to start working. Soon she began to get busy. Entire time she kept learning how did she supposed to do. Her supervisor kept screaming on her but she didn’t mind. Her Mom always treated her in same way. She kept doing her work. She tried her best to keep her shop perfect & she managed to keep it great too. Finally she came back home. She was so exhausted. She didn’t even want to eat but she managed to force food under her throat & finally she went to sleep that day she kept thinking about Mohan whole night. She began to imagine their house & kids. She was so happy. She was laughing even during her sleep. She was on top of the world. She knew that she was going to get him in her life. It was wonderful day for her. She wanted to feel happy & she was feeling it. She was just in heaven. She knew that he would come in her shop one day. Then they would go on date. She smiled on that thought. She knew that her job was most precious thing for her. It was important for her. She needed to give importance to her thoughts.
Trupti was working every day in shop. She was working like slave. She was only one who told to attend every customer. In fact customer just demanded her. Other salesmen & salesgirls seemed like burden. She was so enthusiastic. She kept working daily. She slowly began to feel as if Mohan owned this shop, she began to come there just for him. She started working daily as hard as possible. She never saw owner. Finally one day owner came. It was one middle age lady. She talked nicely with her. But clearly she was more interested in supervisor. But supervisor encouraged Trupti. Soon Trupti sensed that Supervisor admired her but when it came to increasing salary just supervisor got it. She deserved increase but on that moment she just felt sad that it was not Mohan’s shop. Next day she began to think that Mohan was going to come for purchase at least. But then one day her Mom introduced her to one boy. It was one boy of neighbourhood. That boy came to invite her for movie. She decided to go since her Mom wanted her too. She got dressed & went to movie. She began to like this Boy but soon she sensed that he was not actually interested in marriage. He just came there for timepass. He wanted to date some nice girl. He was not expecting a commitment like marriage. She was not planning to live without commitments so she decided to just enjoy movie. She kept sensing as if Mohan was around. She kept searching for him. But she couldn’t find him. Finally she came out. She ate dinner with that boy & came back. She told Mom that he was not interested in marriage. Her Dad was so angry. Her Dad told her clearly that she must not go out with such a flirt boy. But her Mom insisted that it was not big thing. Finally she said that she was okay & next time she would decide when she wanted to date. But soon she began to sense that she was searching just for Mohan. It was strange obsession. She began to change jobs too. Now she was finally manager of new shop. It was good job but salary was still so low. She couldn’t able to give much in her home. It was so upsetting. Her Mom kept taunting. Then her Mom started insisting on another boy. Once again she decided to go out. This time she was not interested in him. He started to chat but she suddenly began to talk about Mohan. That boy listened nicely. Then he chatted about his friends too. She was so happy. She thought that he would be perfect husband but he never came again for date. She started to get upset. Then one day she decided to ask Mohan. She went to his office. She worked hard to find it. But once again he failed to recognise her. She sensed that something was wrong with her. She knew that Mohan didn’t love her. She just chatted normal way. Then she just went in one hospital. She saw list of specialists. Then she took appointment of psychiatrist. She knew that she was taking risk. She didn’t know Psychiatrist but she needed one so she just took appointment. She finally got time. She needed to take off from her work but she agreed. Then she finally went to Psychiatrist. She was so tense. She thought that Psychiatrist would call her visit unnecessary. But she was shocked when Psychiatrist told her that she did wise thing. Psychiatrist said “ You have started to create your imaginary world to reduce your depression. You need to fight it back. Do you sleep properly?“ she felt so confused. She didn’t even remember when she slept. It was so confusing. Psychiatrist told her with smile “ Just relax & tell.” “ I sleep properly but my parents told me sometimes I talk & laugh in sleep. I might took some names too.” “ Like?” She needed to tell same name again. “ Mohan?” “ Now that is dangerous for you. If you keep imagining him everywhere how could you find your true love or life partner? You need to stop imagining to get true partner.” She just nodded. She didn’t understand how could she do it. Step by step Psychiatrist started to talk. She began to feel relaxed. She didn’t needed medicine. She went home with relaxed Mood. She told all to her Dad. Dad smiled happily & slowly gave her money. She was so happy. It was hard for her at beginning. But step by step her world started to become realistic. She stopped imagining Mohan everywhere. She started to concentrate on her job. She began to enjoy her life without thinking about marriage. She started to live her life. Then one day her store cashier invited her for date. He was nice settled man. He had nice fortune from his family but he was working just to make extra income. She agreed. Then they went for dinner. Slowly they started dating again & again. Entire shop knew that she was dating cashier. Actually she was boss but he didn’t mind her superiority over him. She loved his that attitude. Soon they decided to get married. Her Mom was not impressed but she didn’t care. She liked him so she decided to get married. Her Dad encouraged. They got married. She invited Psychiatrist in her marriage. She told her husband all about Psychiatrist before her wedding day . Her Mom was so angry. But her husband appreciated her decision. In fact he told Psychiatrist that he had some Phobia which he wanted to discuss. But Psychiatrist laughed & said “ We will fix appointment after your honeymoon.” They all laughed. She felt so happy. She decided to hide nothing & it worked perfectly. They lived happily married life. She never invited Mohan. Actually she totally forgot about him until she didn’t saw him on road one day. He was looking worst. He was so out of shape. She knew one thing that she imagined him whole time. She was glad that her imagination was broken & she married to real person. She went home but she didn’t discuss Mohan with him. She was nervous to bring that subject. She decided to went ahead with life. Her husband was always with her like shadow & she knew that she was happy & at peace in her soul. She needed nothing else.
The End
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