Sandip's singing
Sandip started to watch out of car window. He was so sure that he was on right route. He was so sure about it. But now suddenly uncertainty began to develop inside his mind. He was so disturbed. He didn’t understand what was happening. He missed direction. He decided to call his friend Pradip. It was so upsetting. He knew that if he told Pradip that he missed road. Pradip started to talk about how wrong he did by starting journey on wrong time. According to entire family Sandip was doing big mistake by going out on business at that time. Sandip didn’t care. He was not so superstitious. He knew that he must had read map wrong way. That’s why he landed in this big mess. But his whole family would claim he started travelling on wrong timing so he suffered this trouble. He remembered how did his wife Ritika was crying when he started to tell that he needed to go. He was so angry. His parents came in room. They started to tell stories too. In every story all who drove on that date died horrible date. He was so upset. Soon his kid was going to start to cry but he was shocked when his son made face & said “ Mom, Grandma..Grandpa get over it..” after hearing him he sensed one thing that he needed to find way to make this tour success. His son was confident about him. He was so excited about it. He was so stressed. He didn’t understand when he would find proper way to get in place where he wanted to get. He was so happy. He began to feel so upset. When he began to lose his way, he started to feel unpleased by everything. He was so sure that he would reach to point but now he began to sense he took wrong turn. He saw few routes. There were two turns. He thought it was towards East so he took it. Now he began to feel he might needed to go towards North. He wanted to move back. But he was still confused about it. He needed to understand what he supposed to do in that dark night. He began to feel so nervous. Suddenly those all dark stories started to come back to his mind. It was so confusing. He wanted just positive memories. But negative memories kept creating impact too. He finally decided to call Pradip but when he tried his mobile, Pradip didn’t took it. Sandip kept moving ahead. He drove for long time & finally he found small Motel. It was not exactly Hotel. But he felt that he could find one room in it. He didn’t want to keep driving in dark. He began to regret his decision but then he stopped himself. He needed to prove that it was perfect for his son. He started to normal his breathing. Then he slowly went inside that motel. Reception area was not fancy one. But when he saw sitting arrangements around it. He felt most disgusted. Cushion of all chairs were already tearing apart. He didn’t say anything but man behind desk smiled “ Hello Sir I am Sharma. Welcome to our hotel. Can I arrange room for you?” He kept looking nervously at chairs. Sharma smiled & said “ Those chairs are for charity!” Sandip smiled nervously. Sandip didn’t believe it even for moment. Sandip knew that those chairs were for normal use. But that fellow was not confessing it. But he didn’t care. He just wanted one room. He immediately asked for it. Sharma gave one key. He was expecting a waiter but Sharma pretended for sometime as if he was waiting for someone. Then Sharma immediately took bags & said “ That boy is so addicted to smoking. He must have gone to..any way I will take your luggage to your room.” He nodded. He took his bags & he went in his room. He was shocked when he sensed room was okay. He smiled happily. He began to watch walls. On every wall he noticed photos. He began to look towards them every carefully. He was watching every corner of painting. It was so tempting. He was so happy by those wonderful looks in paintings. He began to watch them. He slowly began to feel positive & he started singing. He was so happy everything was so perfect. He smiled. Then suddenly he felt one jerk. He began to get upset. When he sensed that this hotel never appeared. He looked around. He sensed that he was sleeping in his room peacefully. He kept feeling cool air inside that room. He began to sense that he was still in his room. He was so sure that he went to tour. He looked to side of his bed. He began to feel so alone. He was sleeping alone. He sensed that it was his dream. His room was so small & uncomfortable. He looked around. Ritika was with him when he got money from his parents. Ritika left him soon when his parents died. His business didn’t survive the way it was surviving before. He was not that great business man. His son! He knew that he never able to give birth to any child. It was not his defect but his wife Ritika didn’t wanted a child. It was so shocking. He didn’t understand why did he kept hoping she would agree. His Mom many times suggested that he must insist. He felt so alone & sad. He woke up, he wanted to check on his Mom. He knew that it was hard for his Mom. His Mom was feeling so sad. His Mom was hoping wonderful future for him. His Mom never thought that Ritika would left him like that. He was trying so hard to earn money. He tried everything but he couldn’t. He didn’t blame Ritika. He was totally bankrupt. She didn’t wanted to spend her entire life as wife of one bankrupt. It was his mistake that he couldn’t able to manage good income. He looked towards his Mom. She was sleeping peacefully. His Mom never found any fault in him but world hated him. He was feeling so alone. He was so restless. He decided to try to relax himself. He opened internet. His only way to get out of this depressed world. He began to type on chat. He saw few new people. He was so happy when they all started talking about astronomy. He was fond of it. He wanted to learn it but his father insisted that he needed to learn to manage business. He did all courses required. He tried so hard but after his father’s death partners cheated him. He knew that they planned it for long time. He knew that they were never planning to give anything to him. His Dad was just one person they used as ladder & now they were planning to throw it. He suddenly began to feel that he might need ladder too. He smiled & started to search for one.
Trupti was chatting on Internet when she noticed one message. It was message from dark knight. She smiled. It was perfect name. She knew that they all used fake names but this name alway managed to excite her. She knew that dark knight was divorced man. She didn’t found anything bad in him. She began to chat in friendly way but suddenly he began to talk differently. He began to tell his true name. She never gave her true name so she felt that it was odd. She said just “ Hi.” Sandip was so upset when Trupti didn’t respond. He needed her to respond. He knew that Trupti worked as receptionist in big company. Trupti told it herself. It was so strange. It seemed as if Trupti didn’t want to discuss further issues. She looked so shocked. She was feeling so confused. She immediately decided to make excuse & stop chatting. She did it. Sandip was expecting it. He didn’t stop there. He began to find further options. He started to search for people who would give them. It was so odd. He didn’t understand what was going on. He didn’t find anything enough. He was so hopeful but finally all seemed like useless to him. His entire dream was shattered. He couldn’t see anything promising. He kept hoping. He was so sad. He sensed that he was not good business man. But then he saw one website where he could sing. He liked to express himself. It was important for him. He didn’t want to feel sad. He wanted to feel happy. So he opened that website & started singing. His every musical lyric was creating new world for him. He felt so upset. He began to think different ideas on every word. He didn’t sense when he got so involved in singing that he totally forgot to look at time. It was past midnight. He was awake & singing. He kept feeling so pleasant. He decided to hope that he would get more audience. He could hear each word with pleasant feelings. He was so happy. He was feeling that his song was perfect. But suddenly one comment appeared. He was so happy but sadly that comment was not admiring song. It was just ad of some investment scheme. He was so frustrated. He was expecting large sum of profit. He was investing all in those projects. He was so involved in each of them. He was feeling totally shocked. He didn’t understand why he never get success. He wanted to cry but he didn’t. He didn’t want his Mom to hear him. Ritika was so nice to him. He remembered that how did he showered her with gifts. He gave her so many things. He kept admiring them. She always kept giving upsetting look. She never admired anything he bought. His father used to tell him that slowly she would learn to admire. She would began to appreciate. But she never did. She wanted costlier gifts. Ritika was never happy with him. He knew that he needed to do something special for her. He started crying. He remembered how did she just packed her bags & went away. Her entire family called him useless. He was not earning enough. He began to cry loudly. He didn’t sense that someone was watching him. He looked out of window. His next door neighbour was in garden. His flat was on first floor. He never assumed that neighbour would be down in lawn at this time but his neighbour was. He felt so tense. He didn’t understand what he supposed to do. He felt so nervous. He smiled but neighbour just ignored him & ran away. He began to feel so upset now all would call him a mad person. He didn’t want to cry before other people. He was feeling so restless & upset. He wanted to feel happy but he was feeling so stressed. He sensed one thing. He was not happy due to his negative feeling. He needed to get over it. He started to look towards his recordings. His voice was so pleasant. But still no one was interested. He began to feel so happy. He began to sense that he just wanted to keep singing. His Mom was sleeping when she woke up by strange screaming voice. That voice was clearly so horrible that she felt as if she was in some nightmare. She needed to wake up with pleasant dream but she was experiencing worst stress in mind. She began to sense someone was singing. Then she sensed that it was her son. Honestly his singing was worst. She knew that her son was not bad in business skills. Her son tried so hard but destiny seemed against him. She began to think that her son needed to take some job. She slowly went in his room. She patted on his shoulder & said “ Will you stop singing? Your voice is not that good!” But Sandip didn’t want to listen. He kept singing like obsessed person. It was so upsetting. She literally shook Sandip to stop him from singing. Sandip looked confused. Then he smiled & said “ I am great singer. I plan to singing.” “ No..no go for job. I just found nice job for you. A good job as manager of..” “ Mom I want to sing!” “ But you can’t!” He screamed loudly “ I will!” His Mom sensed that something was wrong with him. He was not acting normal. His Mom wanted to send him to Psychiatrist but after Ritika telling anything was so problematic. Still she tried. “ Honey..My son.. let’s take appointment of Psychiatrist!” Sandip was so shocked. His own Mom was calling him mad. He didn’t want to be alive anymore. Without second thought he ran towards knife which he kept for cutting fruits. He began to cut himself but his Mom stopped. He kept screaming & throwing things. Soon entire room was damaged. He managed to break few showpiece too. Finally after convincing he stopped. But he was injured by then. His Mom was also hurt during protecting him. Mom did ban-aid to him & herself. He didn’t say anything. He just went to sleep. His Mom kept watching him entire night. She was shivering with fear. She didn’t want him to do anything to himself. She began to regret suggesting psychiatrist. She didn’t have much option now. She needed to tolerate all his tantrums. She was so scared that he might hurt himself one day. She knew one thing his marriage to Ritika was worst mistake. She heard few things about Ritika but Ritika was nice at beginning or she decided to ignore her attitude she didn’t know but she knew that finally Ritika managed to destroy their life & now Sandip was totally shattered.
Sandip was so nervous. He began to sense that what he was listening as his sound was not what others hear. He was not hearing his own voice. It seemed as if he was listening to someone else. He started to shiver with fear. He began to get so restless. He started to feel different sort of fear. He was so scared even to speak. He began to feel that he might hear same sound. His Mom was insisting on going on job. But he couldn’t try to take job. He was scared even to speak. He knew that he would hear that same voice. He didn’t want to hear it. He knew that his voice was not so sweet. It was not so upsetting. He needed to make his voice sweet. He began to find ways to make his voice beautiful. He needed to do something for it. He needed to operate. He was so restless. He began to think about different options. He started to think he needed to find Doctors who could make his voice sweet. He went to one Doctor for throat operation. Doctor was shocked. Doctor “ You are perfect.” “ But I want to become singer. My voice must be sweet.” He said this. He could hear his sweet voice. He didn’t talk further. He must not hear that sweet voice. It was not his voice. Doctor “ But you are not singer if you don’t have sweet voice.” He wanted to explain Doctor. But he was too scared to speak. He just nodded. He stood up. He kept going from one Doctor to another. But no one helped. No one agreed to operate. They said that they couldn’t change voice. It was so frustrating. But then one day one Doctor suggested “ Why don’t you go to Psychiatrist?” He was shocked. “ I don’t have any mental problems.” He said with anger. “ I just suggested it since some times voice get stuck due to stress. It become so harsh. It remain inside with help of Psychiatric treatment your stress will be reduced. You will sing more freely.” He smiled. He nodded. Doctor gave him number & insisted that he should make appointment before Doctor. He did then he went away. As soon as he went out, Doctor called Psychiatrist “ Sorry but I lied to patient to force to get your appointment. There are marks on his hand. I said you might improve his voice.” Psychiatrist said in relaxed voice “ I can’t improve his voice but I will improve his mind. Then he will learn to admire voice of those who have sweet voice & admire his those skills which he possess. He need to treatment no doubt. You don’t have much options.” Sandip began to cut himself with knife which he kept with him. He was punishing himself since he couldn’t have that sweet voice. He was feeling so nice after that punishment. He wanted to punish himself for not having sweet voice. But Doctor sensed that it was going to be big trouble. Sandip came home happily. His Mom was so shocked when she saw him so relaxed. She thought that he might got some job & everything was going to get over. He told her that he was going to get back his sweet voice. She felt so confused. She knew that he couldn’t get it. She was observing that he was hurting himself daily. He was getting so upset by all. He needed to visit Psychiatrist. She slowly said “ I thought..” “ Mom you were so right. My voice got worst due to mental stress only. I needed Psychiatrist only.” His Mom was shocked. Then she smiled. She sensed that Doctor wanted to send him to Psychiatrist so Doctor did this trick. She nodded. “ Let’s what I was thinking all along. Give me number.” He immediately gave & went in his room. She looked carefully that he locked his room door & immediately called Psychiatrist. Receptionist took call. She told her son’s name & expressed desire to talk with Psychiatrist. Receptionist took her number & told her that she should call after an hour. She waited but by then Sandip came out. She didn’t want to call so she waited. He stayed with her for hour. Then finally after one hour he went in his room. She called but Psychiatrist was busy again. She told receptionist that she didn’t want to talk before her son. Receptionist gave another timing. Finally this time Sandip was in his room. He was singing in worst voice. She called Psychiatrist. She immediately began to tell all. She didn’t stop until it didn’t finish. Psychiatrist listened to her quietly. At beginning she felt that he was not on other side. But he spoke peacefully “ Don’t worry. I will manage all. I know how to handle much cases. I handled plenty. Your son will be fine. Come with him.” She agreed. Next day she went to Psychiatrist with Sandip. Sandip talked for hours with Psychiatrist. He began to feel so relaxed. Psychiatrist gave some medicine. He decided to took them. He was planning to sing but he totally forgot it. He came home & told his Mom that he forgot to sing. She said “ Ohh my God. You can do it next time.” He nodded. Her Mom was hoping next time he would forget too. When he returned to room, he suddenly wanted to try some business on computer. He began to try to sell whatever products he had in godown. They were limited but he was shocked when he found some customers. He loved to sell on Computer. This way he didn’t need to pay rent. He had one godown. He knew where he could get products. He just needed to pack them. Slowly he began it. Then after sometime his customers increased. He was so happy. He didn’t sing loudly now. He just sang softly. He began to smile. He was finally managing to earn some amount. He knew that it was nothing but he remembered what Psychiatrist said that now he didn’t need to please Ritika. He just needed to keep himself happy. He was working for so much time. He was feeling so positive by his every thought. He started to do business. When on next session he went to Psychiatrist he didn’t want to sing there. He didn’t understand why. He kept telling all. Finally he asked “ Do you feel I need to sing?” “ No. Not at all. I can’t sing too.” He felt so relieved. As days went ahead he began to enjoy his business. His desire to sing was reduced. He didn’t sing so much. His Mom began to take breath of relief. Finally it was over. Sandip started his normal life. He began to enjoy it. He was relaxed. He didn’t try to sing any more. One day they went to one function all were singing. They began to insist Sandip to sing. He began but this time he sensed that he was not singing so bad. Even his Mom was relaxed. He sang two simple lines in his okay voice then they turned to next after clap. His Mom said “ You sang better this time. I mean tolerable! But don’t make it profession.” He began to laugh so loudly. All turned towards him. He told entire incidence. All laughed. Suddenly his mental issue became normal matter. It was no longer big thing. Soon Doctor stopped treatment. He was normal now. Psychiatrist said it happened due to depression after failure in personal & professional life. Psychiatrist felt that it wouldn’t return but if it did Psychiatrist was there for him. So he felt so relieved. Now he was not alone in his troubles. Psychiatrist was there for him. He didn’t need to take treatment but he still felt happy that Psychiatrist would always come for him.
The End
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