Pradip’s guilt
Pradip was so excited about this trip. He wanted to make it success. He worked so hard. He loved his entire family. They had big family two Uncles & one Auntie. They all lived separate but they all attached to each other. He was specifically attached to them all. They kept admiring him every time. He knew that how much they liked him. He was so happy to help them. Suddenly on that time his mobile rang. It was Rajani Auntie. He knew that he needed to help her by delivering things she needed to cook for party. He needed to go to office too but he decided that he would go afterwards. He needed to help Auntie first. He took call. “ Yes Auntie give me list of material you need to cook..” “ No..no I don’t want material! I just want ready made package. I called this shop..” he couldn’t able to hear further. He suddenly began to feel betrayed. If Auntie could order this package then she could surely call for home delivery. He wanted to ask this but he didn’t since he didn’t want to look rude before Auntie. He knew that people considered him hot tempered person. His relatives many times pointed it to his parents. He wanted to appear perfect. He needed to keep good relationship with all. He knew that if people didn’t give good opinion about him then he couldn’t able to make good friends & most importantly he couldn’t able to find nice girl. He had his dream girl. He wanted all to talk nicely about him to get her. He knew that Auntie was using him to reduce price. He knew that home delivery would cost more. But he also knew that Auntie was not rich. Auntie was financially okay. She wanted to give some help for this party. Her son wanted some help for financial progress so she was giving this party. He knew that he just needed to give that package then he could go away. He wanted to reach in his office but he could go in office little late. His salary was not much. He could easily ignore his work it was not that precious. He knew his salary was very limited. He was so frustrated. He didn’t want to remember his salary. Then he thought about gift which his Auntie gave him in childhood. He still remembered that robot. He wanted to purchase it. He was trying so hard to find one in shops. But his childhood it was not possible. He felt so sad. But one day this Auntie went to abroad with her husband for trip & during it she bought that robot. It was for him. It was such costly gift. He felt that it was gesture of her affection. He felt that she spent so much on her since she loved him. That thought was still strong in his mind. He needed to help her. He ran out. He went to his car. He was happy that finally he was going to help Auntie. He always admired her. He called his office to tell he would be late. Clearly no one minded much. His Boss was not having that much business so he didn’t insist on proper hours. His salary was nominal & his work was limited too. Sometimes he felt as if he was working just for his entertainment. His work was literally useless. He didn’t understand why he hoped that he would get nice future. He was not earning much. His Dad kept some property but his Dad was not planning to give it to him. In fact his Dad always wanted him to stay under his thumb. His Dad was not nice person. His Dad was very abusive in attitude. He knew due to it his relatives kept getting hurt but they all wanted his money & power so kept pretending. But he knew that soon they would sense that it was useless. He could feel it too. He didn’t want to feel so upset & stressful. He wanted to his Dad to help him like other Dads do so he asked. He knew that his Dad tried hard too. But finally it didn’t work. He couldn’t able to get good job as per Pradip’s dream. He wanted to earn more. But he couldn’t get it. His Dad tried hard so clearly his Dad was just pretending. He drove to shop. He picked up items he needed to take. He immediately ran to Auntie. He got stuck in traffic. He was so upset. He felt that his Auntie must be in middle of party. He kept taking all routes to reach on time & finally he reached. He was shocked when he sensed that Auntie’s house was not decorated for party. His Auntie always set beautiful flower showpiece whenever people came. Nothing was arranged. He rang doorbell. He kept ringing & no one opened door. Finally door of neighbour was opened. He smiled. He was expecting a elderly woman but instead a young woman came. He was so shocked. He smiled. That young girl gave shy smile too. He began to tell that girl about purpose of his coming. One thing was clear that this girl was interested in him. He was so happy. He knew that his earning was less but on that point he just wanted to ignore it. He was talking to her. Every thing was wonderful. Then her Mom joined them. Her Mom also smiled happily towards him. He was so happy. He thought that Auntie would surely tell some good things about him. His marriage might fix with this girl. He liked that girl so much. He kept parcel & went away. He was clearly expecting call from her parents about marriage. He knew that mother of this girl would surely ask Auntie about him. He went to office happily. He began to work. He was trying so hard. But he sensed that his earning was not enough. He began to search for some new job. He knew that he liked this work. But he needed to earn if he wanted to marry that girl. He began to apply with new confidence. He knew that his girl would bring new luck to him. He applied like madness to every possible job. He came home expecting proposal of this girl. He came home happily. His Dad smiled & told him. “ Few marriage proposals came for you.” His Dad pointed towards table. He was so pleased. He took those photos. He kept searching. But he couldn’t find that photo. He was no longer interested in those photos. That girl supposed to marry him. He knew that she didn’t give commitment but he could see it in her eyes. She liked him. He felt so sad. Suddenly he understood. He needed to suggest Auntie that he loved her. Then Auntie would do something for him. He liked that girl. He decided that he would go to Auntie next day. He knew that his Auntie would do all for him. Auntie gave him that Robot & now Auntie would give him this girl. He smiled pleasantly. Then he kept those photos carefully on table & went in his room. He decided that he would tell all to Mom tomorrow. His Dad saw his smile & felt that he liked some girl. His Dad was so happy those girls were rich & his Dad wanted rich daughter-in-law other things didn’t matter to his Dad.
Pradip was so hopeful when he went to Auntie on holiday. He got ready. He even bought costly chocolates for Auntie when he went towards door. He noticed that some party was going on. It seemed as if Auntie was giving party once again. He didn’t understand why did Auntie needed to give so many parties. He rang doorbell. Servant opened door. Clearly he was not welcomed since he could see frustration on servant’s face. It was clear that servant knew that he was not required. He slowly looked inside. He saw that it was not big party but small get-together. He was enjoying it. He liked it. He looked towards people in room. He noticed that girl was sitting with some other boy. He just wanted to go inside. He smiled towards that girl. That girl gave nervous smile & suddenly Auntie came literally running towards him. She asked him angrily “ Why did you come without invitation?” He was so shocked. He never expected such treatment from Auntie. He showed chocolate. “ My friend gave it to me. I don’t eat them much so came to give you.” Auntie gave forced smile. Then she took chocolates from his hand. She said “ Why did you bring that? You can sell them on some place!” He was so shocked. “ You need to earn more.” Then Auntie pointed towards that girl. “ Now look towards her! That type of girl will not come in your destiny if you can’t earn more!” He felt so shocked. He never thought this way. He just nodded. Auntie took that Box of Chocolates & said “ Bye.” He was so hurt. He did all with one hope that he would get some nice girl. But he knew that was impossible. He nodded & went away. He went in office. He started to work but he was no longer much hopeful. His all dreams were vanished. He was feeling so sad. He wanted to feel positive but he didn’t feel that way. He felt sad & disappointed. He wanted happiness in his life. But it was difficult to get. He kept feeling nervous in his soul. He was so stressed. He kept looking around his office. It was not as if he didn’t have enough. He had his father’s agricultural land & he could earn out of it. But his father didn’t feel that it was something he could give him since he didn’t done much for that land. He knew that he was not getting what he deserved. He went back to office. He started to work but he was so angry. He wanted to prove himself. It was not about girl. He began to sense that every one was just using him. Those gifts were given just to get favour from people. He began to understand troubles of his life. He knew that Auntie took everything from him. She never gave anything back even one girl he wanted to have gifted to other boy. He could identify that boy. He was son of Auntie’s husband’s cousin. She cared for them. She didn’t give any importance to them. He knew that it was not just about him. It was same for his parents. He knew that he needed to do something to prove himself. He began to search for ways. He started to think what would be most effective way. He needed money but it would take sometime. He began to sense that he needed to find some nice girl. He needed famous woman. He began to think about it. Then he suddenly remembered his client. She was nice girl. She was daughter of famous businessman. He began to think that he needed to get in contact with her. He started to search for her number. Finally he found one. He began to think that this number was important for him. He needed to talk with that girl. He decided that he would give discounts to her. He could adjust them with his personal account. He needed to get attached with her. He started to talk with her. Soon he sensed that she was happy to get discounts from him. Rucha trusted him. He smiled & disconnected call. He knew that he needed to use her trust. He knew that he should be using people’s trust. He began to find a way to move ahead on the way to success according to him. He was fully confident that he would manage to get success by using this woman. He tried to remember her name. It was beautiful. He began to remember Rucha. He smiled. He knew that he was in love with her. He could dream marrying her. He knew that he just needed to do that. He went home with wonderful hope. He began to search way to impress her. He started to dream his life. He wanted her to show world how great it was. He began to get so upset. He started to feel that he desire for her. He began to search different things which might able to impress her. He was no longer interested in other clients or progress of his company. It was not paying him much. He just wanted to impress Rucha. He told other colleagues to handle clients. He went to Rucha’s home. When he rang door bell. Rucha came out. He was so happy to see her beautiful face & innocent smile. He began to smile. Rucha asked “ So what items you were recommending for me?” He felt so upset when she began to ask about items. He wanted her to talk about his day. He wanted to create friendship so he began to ask about her day. Slowly he started to ask about her parents. Soon he sensed that she wanted more attention of her parents. She told him that they didn’t have time for her. He pretended as if he was taking her side. But in reality he was just trying to create place in her heart. Then she invited her. She told maid to make some coffee & snacks. Soon they began to discuss other things. Rucha was so happy to have his company. He began to feel sure that soon she would fall in love with him. But after some time she looked nervous. She began to ask about products. He showed them. She took some costly items. Then he needed to get out of house. He didn’t like it but he forced to do it. He was so upset. He decided that he needed to go out. He said “ Bye.” He went out.
Rucha talked with Pradip. She did feel comfortable while talking with him. But still she felt that he was getting too close to her. She liked him as shopkeeper. She considered him as nice friend too but never as something beyond that. It was not comfortable for her. She didn’t want him to start acting like her boyfriend. It was totally wrong for her. She didn’t want to start dating him. She wanted to date someone who belonged to her circle. She knew that she never encouraged him that way but still he was acting in that way. She suddenly decided that she needed to find some other person to purchase things. But then she felt that she was assuming too much. He was nice person & acting friendly with her. She just decided to appreciate him. After all she would soon find some nice boyfriend then his day dreaming would stop. Rucha was nervous about it. But Pradip was angry about it. He began to feel that he deserved her. He started to think that he needed to get rich. He began to think that his morals were his burden. He began to remember how did all relatives were using him. Then suddenly he started to think that he might needed to take revenge. He knew that they all laughed on him behind his back. He suddenly sensed that his Auntie told him to make deliveries. He laughed since he planned something. He managed to change his voice after researching on internet. He made payment by card which belonged to his friend. He didn’t want his friend to suffer but he didn’t have much option. He ordered ten boxes of sweets. Then he ordered hundred boxes of snacks. He ordered bottles of cold drinks then he also ordered drinking water. Then he ordered tissue papers. He kept making big list. Finally he made payment by his friend’s Credit card. He knew that no one would suspect him. He smiled but then suddenly he felt concerned so he threw that card in dustbin. He didn’t forget to take mobile of his friend for OTP. He was still confused what he actually wanted. He didn’t want to his friend to get stuck. Then he remembered how did his friend always kept more friendly with rich people. He knew that his friend was just like Auntie & any way his friend would sense that Credit Card was missing soon. He went back. He was excited & happy. He knew that he couldn’t go to house of his Auntie but he could see confusion she might suffer. But then he began to feel scared about involvement of Cops. He began to feel so scared. He waited & waited. Then soon he noticed that his friend was searching for Credit Card. He didn’t say anything. He began to feel so scared. He began to feel sick in stomach. He ran to washroom. He was not feeling okay. He sensed that he might faint. He immediately told this to Boss & ran to his house. He went in his room & stayed there. He decided to go to Doctor. Doctor checked him. Doctor didn’t found much wrong with his health. But Doctor gave him medicine for stomach sickness. He took them then he slept. He was awake but he felt too weak to sit. He felt as if life from his body was vanishing. He couldn’t stand. He kept sleeping. Then his Mom came. She asked “ How are you feeling?” “ Still sick! Very sick Mom!” Mom looked so nervous. Mom “ But Doctor said that nothing was wrong.” He began to get angry. He was sick but they wanted to call him healthy since Doctor declared it! He was sick then he was sick! He screamed “ Mom let me sleep.” He kept watching in unknown zero for hours. He began to feel that he was going to die. He didn’t understand how but he knew that his life would be over soon. He switched off his mobile. He kept sleeping. He didn’t feel okay even on next day. He was so upset. He told Mom to cook something simple. He was sick. His Mom was confused. His Mom “ But what is happening to you?” “ I feel some unique sickness that Doctor does not understand?” “ We need to go to some big hospital & bigger specialist. This Doctor is normal one. This Doctor doesn’t understand all.” He nodded. Then his Mom made call to Hospital & took appointment of some specialist. He got appointment after a week. He was sleeping whole week. His father started to get tense too. His parents called their routine Doctor once again. That Doctor made home visit. But still Doctor didn’t find anything wrong with him. Doctor “ This is mental. I am telling you. You can go to whichever specialist you like but still no one will find anything physically wrong with your son.” Pradip was so angry. “ Doctor I want to go to Specialist. If they suggest same thing then I will go to whatever Doctor they suggest.” He was sure that Specialist would cure him. He needed better Doctor. Then he went to Doctor. He did test. That Specialist didn’t seem to find anything wrong too. He was so upset. He tried to go to office but he kept getting sick. Nothing was working. Finally after visiting plenty of Doctors he visited psychiatrist. He didn’t like that idea. It seemed as if he was declaring that he was mad. But still he needed to go for it. He waited for his turn. He kept telling his parents that he wanted to come alone but they didn’t permitted. Then finally he went inside. He was not comfortable before parents but Psychiatrist told them nicely to go out. Then they started discussing different issues. Slowly Psychiatrist asked about day when it started. He never told anyone so he kept it secret. But Psychiatrist seemed to sense it. Psychiatrist “ You are still not trusting me. I know one thing you done something wrong in that office & that’s reason behind your sickness.” Pradip gave confused look. Then he nodded. But he didn’t tell cause.
From that day Psychiatrist started treatment. He began to feel little better but he kept avoiding office. He began to search for new job. Sadly nothing came out of that struggle. His old office kept calling him. Then finally one day he decided that he had enough & he confessed all to Psychiatrist. Psychiatrist heard everything. Then Psychiatrist told him that his Auntie was not acting right but he would have broken ties. Slowly Psychiatrist convinced him that getting girl was not so precious as keeping peace of his mind. Step by step he convinced Pradip that those who didn’t care about him didn’t need his attention so much. Then Psychiatrist told him to call his friend & return that money. He felt so scared to do it. He kept avoiding it. Finally one day he just transferred money & emailed all to friend. His friend didn’t discuss anything. Finally he got new job but even this job got less salary. But now he was staying away from all demanding relatives so he was happy with what he got. He decided that let destiny decide if it kept someone for him. If destiny didn’t kept anyone then he would still live happy life alone since he was happy. He was alone but not lonely.
The End
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