Talking with shadows
Tarun was studying his latest paper on research. He looked around. He took deep breath. He was staying in his old house. He always stayed in it. He never managed to get out of house. He always had dream to go out. This time he had opportunity but he didn't able to plan. His parents never permitted him to shift. His brother also kept dragging issue but few days ago his Mom died. Now she left this house for him. His brother got other property. All were happy. They didn't want anything different. Mom knew their want or Mom thought that she knew. He didn't understand why did anyone felt that he wanted to spend entire life in this big old house. But they all thought same thing. It seemed as if they thought that he didn't have any dream. But he was stuck in this strange way. He wanted to become someone different but he didn't able to become any thing special. He was stuck. He wanted something different. He wanted something more nice. He didn't plan anything but he wanted to be different than this. They all assumed that he wanted to be same. But he couldn't be same. He needed different house and life. But what did he want. He looked around in empty house. He didn't have any answers. He was confused. He was sitting alone in that rocking chair. He began to feel that he was king. He was in middle of house. He was not just normal man. He smiled. He began to plan how could he spend his life. He had dreams and hopes which were shining in his mind. He was so happy that he managed to fulfill his dream. He wanted wonderful life. He had plans for it. He was working hard to move ahead in that life. He needed a start. He was working hard to get it. He was so tense that this start might just turn against him. That he didn't find it. But he knew that now he was alone so he would find that start. He would find solution to this mess. He was so sure about it. He was feeling so restless about entire incidence. He wanted help regarding it. He knew that he couldn't do it alone. He was feeling so uneasy. He started to think ways to create his future but sadly he found none. He told himself that he needed to a new dream. He felt that he might needed to go in market. He knew that he could get idea from there. He was feeling so hopeful. He stood up and he started to go out. He sensed that he needed to dress up. He needed to choose his dress carefully. He wanted to look smart. He needed a bright future for himself. He started to see that he needed to search for ironed shirt. He wanted to appear like one rich man so he took out suit. But when he started to dress up soon he sensed that he was looking to dressed up as if he was going to some marriage. He liked to wear that suit but he never found any occasion for it. He couldn't find way to wear it. But today when he watched mirror he sensed that he was looking nice but not suitable for market. He removed it. Then he started to choose another dress. He selected another shirt. He wore it. He was looking so great. He felt so sure that he started to wear shirt and began to watch in mirror. He decided to go to market in that dress. He began to feel sure that he would find new way in this dress. He got dress up and opened door. Today he felt that Sun was too bright. He told himself to relax. He decided that he needed sunglasses. He decided to wear them. He began to look around for sunglasses. He thought that he could find them easily but soon he sensed that it was going to be hard. Then finally after lots of efforts he found them. His Mom always kept things in strange places. His sunglasses were in kitchen cupboards. He took them and wore them. He began to feel so happy. He started to wear those sunglasses. He began to see new world with those sunglasses. He started to think that he could find new world with them. He knew that he was intelligent enough to find his way. He went out. He started to try to stop auto. He kept trying for long time without success. He didn't find one for so long time. He was frustrated. He didn't understand how could he get one decent traveling arrangement. He didn't understand where he could manage it. He needed to learn about arrangements to go for traveling. He didn't understand why he kept feeling so scared. He knew that no one was going to taunt him now. He smiled and then he went out. He looked around. He sensed that no one was taking any interest in him. He soon sensed all those who he used to know were mostly shifted to different places. He felt so upset. He kept looking around to find some place where he could think about his future but soon he sensed that such place was not available nearby. That place which once used to be garden seemed to be cricket ground now. He didn't feel that he was permitted to go inside. Even if he was permitted what was use of going there. He couldn't enjoy match. He felt so upset by those voices that he didn't able to think clearly about his future. He didn't understand how could he acted so ignorantly when entire town was changing he was staying inside house. He used to do all his work from home. It looked nice since he wanted to avoid traveling expenses after all he was not earning much salary. He was so upset by lack of his earnings. He was always taunted for it. He tried so hard to adjust but no one helped him. But now finally he was alone and no one was going to taunt him. He told himself that he just needed to find another garden. He stopped one auto. He asked driver about garden. Driver immediately told about next garden. He nodded. During entire time he kept checking fare. He was so tense. He sensed that he needed to travel more. He began to feel that he needed peace of his mind. Finally Auto reached to garden. He was so happy to see it's beauty. That garden was totally unique. He didn't understand why did it took him so long to visit such beautiful garden which was so near his house. Then he thought that he must concentrate enjoying now while forgetting what he missed to do in past. He smiled happily. He paid fare to driver with tip. Driver was so happy by tip. He also told him where he could find what in garden. Driver asked did he had fixed returning time. He denied so driver went away and he went in garden.
Tarun was sitting peacefully on bench of garden when he sensed first time a moment. He felt so confused. He looked around. He was so sure that he sensed something. Then he sensed that he was alone. He was sitting under a tree and no one was around. Then he heard voice of small kid. He shivered with fear. He could hear it clearly. A small kid! He didn't understand. Then he began to feel that it was voice coming from inside. He was hearing voices of his own soul. He was so scared. He was getting mad or he was possessed but that was impossible. He didn't went anywhere except in cemetery. He went to do last rituals. He shivered. He knew that boy was not him. His voice was different. Then suddenly a small boy jumped from behind. He could see that small boy. His imagination was standing. He saw face of that boy. That face was not unique. It was so common. He didn't understand how could his imagination created such a normal face. That boy needed to be something different and unique. Then suddenly a man appeared. He was looking like adult version of that boy. He sensed that it was father. Immediately that boy ran towards that man. Then they went away. So he was sitting a boy was hidden behind his bench. It was possible that father and son were playing hide and seek with each other. He was scared without cause. It was so normal. He didn't understand why did he felt so upset. He sat back on his position again. He knew that everything was perfect but still he kept feeling strange feeling in his soul. It was so upsetting. He didn't understand why he needed to feel so scared. He was sitting on that ground and he needed to sense so hopeful. It was so feeling scared from heart. It was so upsetting. He didn't understand when he would feel normal. He knew that it was hard for soul. He kept sitting under that tree. He knew that it was normal. He stood up. Then he started walking. He was walking like normal man. But he kept feeling something of strange sort kept happening to him. He started feel that something was wrong. He kept looking behind. He didn't understand what happened to him. He was feeling so scared and upset. He didn't understand his feelings. He looked beside him. He noticed shadow. He knew that it was his shadow. But he didn't understand why did it managed to scare him so much. He was shivering. He looked around. He hoped that other people would be feeling cold too. But other people were okay. In fact he saw many were sweating. He was so tense. He suddenly began to feel that he was having fever so he started checking with his hand. But nothing seemed wrong. He was so upset and confused. He didn't understand why did he needed to keep looking towards that shadow. He shivered. He decided that he was sick. He didn't feel his body was hot still he decided that he would go home and check it with thermometer. He decided to stop auto. He began to go ahead. He sensed that whenever he went ahead. His leg was making strange noise. He never sensed it before. He was so confused. He didn't understand what was natural and what was sickness. He didn't understand why he suddenly began to feel so sick. He needed to feel hopeful but instead he was feeling sick day by day. He didn't understand what happened to him. He thought that he needed to see Doctor. He felt so upset. He supposed to remain healthy but he was getting sick. He was young why did he feel so tired. His parents always used to admire his energy. He never felt so sick. Today he was feeling strange heaviness in his head. It was so heavy. He never felt like that. He kept sensing one shadow was following him. It was his own shadow but still he had strange feeling. He didn't understand why. He began to feel as if some thing was truely around him. He was so upset. He didn't sense what was happening. He was feeling so confused. He knew that he was living a normal life. He could suddenly began to see ghosts. He started laughing even at thought of seeing ghosts. He couldn't imagine such things. He was so down to earth man that he never believed in any supernatural. He was not even reading supernatural things. But today he suddenly began to believe. But then on second thought he read supernatural for entertainment. He never believed them. He was so frustrated now. Suddenly he began to feel reading supernatural might turned into mistake too. He was feeling so sick. He didn't understand why did his legs became so heavy. He wanted to move them but they were stuck to their position. He didn't understand what was wrong with him. Then in few moments they started moving. He kept looking around. He was so scared that someone might be watching him and that person might demand some information. He knew that he didn't want his parents to know. Then he sensed that he didn't have any parent in home. He was so confused. He didn't understand what feeling he has about this situation. He was so upset. On some point he felt that he missed his parents but on other point he didn't. He was so confused. His thoughts kept shifting from one point to another. He didn't understand his actual feeling. He was so upset. He knew that he needed to control his emotions and confusion. He suddenly sensed that he had started walking while thinking and he was already managed to cover half route towards his house. He didn't understand those feet which were paining few movements ago, how could manage to get so much strength! It was so confusing. He didn't understand what was wrong with him. He was feeling so much pain before but now it was gone. He felt that it might be just minor muscle pain. He decided to ignore it. After that he started walking towards his home. On road he looked towards each shop to relax himself. But he didn't feel relaxed. He was too tired. He didn't understand how could he managed to walk so much in beginning. Then he decided that in beginning he was fresh. He started to call Auto. He found one and went home.
Tarun was hoping that he would feel happy after one walk but things were not happening as he thought. He was feeling more upset and scared. He didn't understand what was wrong but he sensed one thing that something was totally wrong. He liked his parents. He knew that they were nice people but he also wanted to have his own life and now he finally found it. He decided that he needed to buy something. Then he looked around. Nothing was needed in that house. His Dad managed to get whatever he wanted. No. Not what he wanted but what Dad himself wanted. Dad always took things as per his choice. He never let Tarun buy anything as per his desire. His Dad was always so dominating. But still he had all. He couldn't sell something so nice and new just because he wanted different colour. He didn't even hate that colour. He never hated his Dad's choices. He liked them but he just wanted few things as per his wishes too. But he never got them. Now he had money in his hand. He was waiting for this since long time. But then he noticed that everything around him was new. He couldn't threw it away. He needed to use it. It was new and he didn't dislike it. He was so confused. Suddenly he began to sense that they bought whatever he wanted. They fulfilled his every want. He suddenly began to feel so lonely. He didn't understand what did he want. He sat once again on that rocking chair. It was moving. He looked at his perfect house. It had all whatever he wanted. He didn't needed to change anything. He had all his desired things. He felt so upset and restless. He wanted to find some way to enjoy his freedom but suddenly he felt so sad as if he had lost everything. He felt so upset and said. He didn't understand when his life became so obsessed with his parents. He still remembered those days when he used to enjoy his life with his friends. He still knew that he wanted to keep those days. But then in his soul he knew that he didn't truely felt it. He wanted to act like normal person so he pretended. He never liked his friends that much. He was fond of his family. He knew that he didn't accepted it. He needed to act normal. He knew that he lied and pretended. He never expressed anything. He felt that he needed to enjoy it. He took deep breath. He was so different inside but he pretended to be something different. He needed to settle in wonderful life. But he was so confused when it came to marriage. He needed nice wife but he was not getting one. Those girls were nice but he was different. They had different ambitions. He wanted discuss books positive sides of life. But they wanted to discuss jobs. They wanted to talk about budget after marriage. Then they wanted to discuss how did he was planning to earn more. They wanted to discuss their career too. They didn't want to stay with parents. But some wanted to stay with his parents while expecting them to take care of their kids. They all wanted to plan everything. He wanted to enjoy and take a break. They kept telling if that he needed to take life seriously now. He nodded but he felt one thing that they didn't seem interested in him at all. They were not interested in movies he watched. They discussed them for few seconds. But their important priority was to get money and his family didn't exist for them. It was so wonderful for them. But he was so upset. Their faces were so beautiful but their minds were so practical. He called them selfish. But his parents were upset. His Mom said " That girl was not selfish. She was just practical. She needed to brought up children with you so she was thinking about future and that was not crime. It was not wrong. When you would plan to get married you need to stop living in dream! You need to be practical." For first time he sensed that he was wrong type of husband. Then his Dad added " We pampered him too much. He didn't understand value of money. " They all felt so upset. Tarun kept feeling sad in heart. He decided that he didn't want to drag anyone in this mess. He started living alone. But his Dad always gave him whatever he wanted. His Dad kept trying to please him. He was so hopeful about his future. He felt so nervous when they all started to say he was strange. But now he was alone so he was not strange. He began to feel so nice. He went in kitchen cooked for himself. He began to enjoy a book then he watched TV. Then he went to sleep. He started ordering things. He didn't needed to go out. His life was perfect in this house. Suddenly he began to sense that shadows no longer scared him. Those shadows were his best friend. It might be shadow of furniture or any other thing but he loved them. He shivered with joy when he started chatting with shadows. He was so confused that he didn't understand when did he developed this habit. He knew that it was madness but he liked it. He knew that those shadows didn't respond but he liked it too. He began his new life in totally different style. He started living in his own way in his own dream. Sometimes it seemed like big nightmare but he didn't care. He kept feeling restless. He was so upset. He didn't understand how could he feel happy and upset at same time. He didn't understand his own feelings but he knew one thing that he was inside house & he was happy about it. He needed to stay there forever. He was happy in it. He looked at himself. He was looking great. He ordered all those products which he loved. He kept eating them. He loved eating. He knew that he must not get overweight but his Dad already bought exercising machine for him. His Dad knew all. His Mom knew all too. He could see every number with which he could order things. He was not going out and he was happy about it. He loved his new life style. He would stay inside house and enjoy his privacy. Things couldn't get better. He wanted to live happily in his house.
Pradip started calling Tarun. Pradip was Tarun's elder brother. He didn't understand Tarun at all. He was expecting Tarun to relax and enjoy his life. But Tarun was not taking interest in anything. They kept calling Tarun again and again. Pradip decided that if Tarun didn't took call he needed to visit him. Pradip's wife said clearly yesterday " Your brother is acting strange. People are saying we don't care. We want to kill him for money and property." Pradip was so shocked. He felt so scared. He heard about many suicide cases where relatives were blamed. Then Cops might arrest them too so he decided to visit Tarun. He was so upset. First he needed to work in office for entire day then he needed to visit his brother. He just wished that Tarun was little bit more reasonable. He immediately went to Tarun's house. He soon sensed that light in house were not on. He was so confused. Then he began to hear voices. Actually not voices but just one voice Tarun was talking to himself. It was so scary. He started banging door. Finally Tarun opened it. Tarun was looking so pale like some character of Dracula movie. When he opened door, Tarun didn't able to adjust with sun. Pradip knew that Dracula was fiction otherwise he could have believed that Tarun was really a vampire. He was feeling so upset. Pradip " What happened? Why you are looking so pale?" Tarun took hold of his hand and started to pull him inside. " Just come inside. This Sun is hurting me!" "Why?" Pradip was so shocked. Tarun forced him to enter. Pradip entered inside. House was just the way it was before. Pradip was shocked. He was expecting at least few changes. He was so upset. He took deep breath. " Why don't you answer my phone call?" " I was little busy." " In what? I don't think your working any more?" " No I left that Job! It was not giving enough earning." " Then did you search for new?" Tarun screamed. " Why did I suppose to earn?" " I am not talking about earning. Why don't you do some shopping?.. forget it . Let's go to movie."" No..no I want to stay in home." " You must come out." But Tarun started shivering. Then Tarun suddenly turned towards wall and began to talk to wall. " I am fine. I will handle it." Pradip was confused and scared. Pradip was glad that he took number of psychiatrist from friend. Tarun needed one. Pradip " Tarun you are sick. You need Doctor." Tarun looked confused. Tarun " I know this shadow is not alive. It was just joke." " Tarun let's go to psychiatrist." " I am not mad." "I know but just for normal procedure before giving property. I did it too." Pradip lied. Pardip just wanted to take him to psychiatrist. Tarun wanted that house. He nodded and agreed. Then Tarun locked house and went to psychiatrist with Pradip. Psychiatrist talked with him for long time. Then he told Tarun to go out. Psychiatrist " I feel his problem is increased. He was suffering from posttraumatic symptoms. He was grivencing for death of parents but he just couldn't able to get over it. He began to imagine them in shadows on wall. He had started hallucinationing too. I want to check him." Pradip nodded. Pradip " But I like to hide it from people." " No one want to tell this. Don't worry. You can tell them he went abroad. It is just as per planning. I mean he mentioned that he wanted to go for trip." Pradip nodded. Pradip smiled happily. Pradip decided to lie even to his wife about it. He told Tarun all. Tarun didn't object. Tarun was just trying hard not to talk to shadow. Tarun didn't have time to say anything to time. Pradip left him. Pradip was so sad. He thought that he ignored his brother but then he felt that it could cure. He went out alone. Tarun was admitted in hospital. But Pradip didn't show pain in his heart. He gave big smile and started to walk. He was planning to tell all that Tarun went to world tour.
The End
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