Anger of mind
Tina was cooking her perfect lunch. She knew soon her kids going to come home. She just began to hate that style of her life. Every day she just kept cooking and cleaning. Then she hardly even had any time for herself because after doing all that work she felt so tired that she just wanted to sleep. She just wanted to keep some nice maid who would not take vacation but it seemed like impossible task. She knew that her whole life was just wasting in kitchen while her family hardly care. Ramesh always kept telling her that he was so busy in office that he would not help her with household. After all she was just housewife not some one who was doing service so she had to adjust. So she decided somewhere in her heart it was enough. She knew that she wanted some job to earn respect from her family. But it was so hard since she had never tried. She decided just one thing from heart that she wanted to find job. She was sure that her friend Mukta would help her regarding it. She had to do her work fast to meet Mukta. After all she must not tell any one about it. She didn't want any one to understand every step towards her success. She wanted to teach them lesson so she needed it to be secret. She did her every work fast and finally her work was over. She started deciding that she must get ready. She searched for her address. She began to search in her old cupboard. She started looking in old things. There were many useless things in it. She knew that she had arranged every thing again in that cupboard. She searched in every corner to find that address. Soon she found many things from childhood. It was so nice when she was child, every thing was just perfect. She never once felt so much tense. At that time she kept looking at those things which were inside that cupboard. She was arranging all things but somewhere in her heart she managed to set it perfectly. She was so happy regarding it. She just kept looking at them. Her every dress was reminding her of one happy day which was special for her. She managed to live once again her life. She was back in childhood without her husband or kids. But she wanted her family also in that childhood. She felt strange sort of attachment to both sides. She was so upset. She suddenly wanted to break every thing around her. She was about to set in properly. But she just started throwing them in trash. She wanted to just destroy every thing. She wanted to throw all things. She began to do it. Then she thought that she might use that place for useful purpose. She felt relieved from inside. She was so happy to get rid of those things. It was so exhausting that she was loaded in dust. She decided to take shower. She looked at watch. She was too late. She wanted to go but she couldn't manage today. So she went inside her room. She fell on bed and slept immediately. In that dream she sensed she was alive but still she just couldn't move. She felt something was not right about her. She just kept screaming. But she couldn't move. Then she woke up, she was fallen on floor. It must had happen when she was dreaming. She just sat on that floor and looked around. It was so strange. Such a thing never happened to her. It was most strange. She went in kitchen.
Tina looked at every thing in kitchen. It was nice. Then door bell rang. Her kids were back from school. She gave smile but they just ran in room to change clothes and started screaming for food. She felt strange anger. She was their mother not servant. They at least needed to say hello to her for sake of respect. She could sense anger was boiling inside her. Tina screamed " Why don't you say at least hello to me?" She screamed in such a strange way that both kids came out running and said " Hello." Then once again they ran. She knew that they did what she asked but she just felt one thing that she was not getting suitable respect. She went in kitchen and started heating that snacks which she had cooked. She called kids. They came inside. Both were busy on mobile. They hardly had time to look at her. They immediately finished snacks and returned to their room. She was so angry. She knew that she must deserved some respect. But she didn't know how to get it. Once again she went in her room and started searching for that address. She just began to search hard this time but still she suddenly noticed her old clothes. She wanted to try them. But she knew that she couldn't do that before kids. She felt that they would laugh on her. After all she was out of shape now. She had heard many taunts regarding her fat. She knew that she had to do some exercise. She wanted to be back in shape once again. But she was planning to do to office. Then she was so confused. She had to plan properly. She had to do some thing which would make her fit and perfect in every one's eyes. She didn't know which way would work. Once she kept thinking about job. But she felt fitness was more important. She started searching for her exercise cycle. She had bought it on her birthday. But she just received disapproval from her husband who kept saying that she didn't understand value of money. But she bought it for health. She didn't understand how could she began to move ahead at every step in life. But no one understood her. She just kept telling them all but they just kept avoiding her. She never understood why did they cared for her. When she screamed, she saw her kids ran away but they never came near her to talk with her to share her troubles and sorrows. After all she was Mom. But they just never cared. Sometimes she felt that her husband might be feeding their mind against her. But then she thought that it was not possible. Why did he do that. Then she suddenly remembered that serial where that husband was having affair with another woman. She was so scared. But then she felt that it was totally wrong. He never acted that way. She once again started searching in her cupboard for address. She knew that diet was hard for her. She should go for job and that bicycle was too old and rusted due to not using. She wanted to use it but never had time. She knew that it happened just because her husband never wanted her to do that. She just didn't understand that why did every one hated her so much from heart.
Tina finally found that address. She was so happy to get it. She wanted to get that job and became some one great. She just started getting ready when she remembered that she had not called her friend. She immediately called her. But her friend didn't pick phone on four rings. She was so upset when her friend finally took phone. Her friend " Who is it?" "I am Tina." "After so many days." "Actually I want some job in your shop." "Ohh..you are always welcome." Tina was so happy when she heard voice of her kids. She remembered that she had to drop those trouble makers some where. She was so upset by those kids. She just wanted to get rid of them. She knew that she was mother but they were biggest trouble for her. She could see in their eyes. They just felt that she was nothing. She knew that when they were born, she was on top of world at every point. She sensed one thing that her kids were no longer those kids for whom she used to care. It was getting so promising for her at every step. She could do that job. While these kids..she just screamed. Both kids came out running. They stood before her. " I want to you to stay with grandma." "But Mom I want to some.." "No need to say any thing when I told you something, you must do it. I just never like argument." Then both kids stood quietly so one thing was clear that they were no longer arguing about any thing. Tina smiled. She called her Mom and arranged it all. She told kids to get ready. They came out finally after 10 minutes. She felt that they were behaving like some enemies. This was happening every day. Her kids just didn't listen to her. She just hated it. But finally when she screamed, they came out with bags. There was not any further argument. She just called Taxi and dropped them at her Mom's house who was willing to keep them. Then she was happy. She decided that it was perfect day to join shop. She looked at her dress. She was ready for her work. She still remembered those days when she used to sit in shop to sell dresses. She was something at that time. She was not useless thing. It was so hard for her to stay that way. She went near shop. It was still same shop but there were many big shops around it. It was looking so small and old fashion in it. She decided that she would change it's look. As soon as she entered, a sales girl looked at her without interest. She was so shocked. She could be a customer. How could sale girl act like that. She came near her. " Why are you sitting like that? Are you not going to show me dress?" That girl " You can look by yourself." "Then you should walk on road by yourself." "You can't throw me out. You are not owner of shop." " No. I am not but my friend is. Just get lost.""Shit..what a stupid old lady!!" This was enough for Tina. She just slapped that girl and threw her out of shop on road. That girl was screaming on her and telling her that she would load complaint against her. But Tina didn't care. She was just happy to see that girl out of shop. Another sales girl came out timidly and started arranging dress. Tina smiled happily so she had became boss of that shop. After all her friend would visit only limited times and she would love the way. She increased her sales.
Tina was so happy after that day. She was daily going in that shop and every thing was working out as per her wishes in her house also. She had become boss. She knew that it would be happiest moment for her. But for few days she felt happiness then she started feeling some sort of strange frustration. She felt that she was working too much. She was working in house as well as in office. Since she needed in both places, she never had any time to relax. She sensed no one was even ready to talk with her. They just came to her for taking orders. Not for chatting. Even every one's hello seemed as if they were forced. No one was happy and pleased with her. She wanted to chat but no one was there to chat. It was just worst by every angle. She was just working day and night. She kept bossing and every one was just kept complaining behind her. She could clearly sense that she was disliked by all except her husband who many times protested and did as per his wishes. But things were not as per her wishes. She was still feeling so upset from her soul. She began to sense that she needed some time to rest. That day when she went in shop,she sensed that she was not in her good mood which she specially stored for her customer. She tried hard to keep her smile. But she could sense it was telling toll on her. She just wanted to scream on those customer. Specially those who brought their kids. Since kids just loved to jump around and destroy. Her kids were same but she trained them. They never do that before her. But these kids were so manner less and their Mom just kept smiling whole time. She sensed one thing that this was totally wrong. Those Mom had to control their kids. Specially when they were in other person's shop, first they had to handle those kids then they needed to show some respect. But they never did that. After that they didn't even wanted to buy any clothes. They just kept pretending. Many times Tina sensed it. But she kept her look.That day it was most expensive dress on model and a woman came inside with her kid who was having ice cream in her hand. Tina immediately stopped her. But that woman kept arguing with her. Tina just didn't understand. Why did she had to act that stubborn. But during that time her small kid touched that dress. Tina just lost her cool. She began to scream on that kid in such a way that every one on road came running. That kid began to cry. His Mom was also scared. She asked about the cost. She was even willing to pay price but Tina just kept arguing. Even when sales girl tried to calm her. It continued to Police woman did came. Police woman heard the case and told that woman to pay for dress and took it. That woman took it. But whole time that little kid was crying in his Mom's hand. When that woman went out, she just slowly said to Tina " Madam I can understand your loss but I was willing on first place only. Why did you have to scream like that on my kid? Now he will never go in any shop with me. I know he did wrong thing. But he is small boy. Then act in such a way and their parents paid for it. But this was too much." Then that woman went away. That kid was still shaking with fear. That Police woman " Can I suggest you a thing lady as friend? Go to Doctor? Some thing must be wrong with your health. Why else did you go so much angry? It happens. If you ignore, then you may need to go to hospital." Then that Policewoman told scary story of her relative. Tina was so scared. Even that sales girl came to her and said " Madam you are like sister to me. That's why I am telling you. Take off today and go to Doctor." Tina nodded. Then she called her husband who also seemed willing to come with her.
Tina waited outside in clinic. Every time her anger kept increasing. She just kept screaming on receptionist. She did it so much that finally one patient. Let her go in her place. When she went inside, Doctor checked her blood pressure. It was high. "I have guessed. It is rising due to your anger."" But I thought I am getting anger due to it." "No..No..your anger is your mental problem. You need to control it by going to psychiatrist." She screamed " I am not mad." "No.. But you are blood pressure patient who is jumping with anger on every moment. This is card. Go or one day you will have heart attack. Then you will go after that." She looked at her husband who looked totally convinced. She was also convinced now. "Okay." Then they called psychiatrist and took appointment. She was so upset that day. Her husband had convinced kids that she was sick. They acted in their best way. Then they started visiting psychiatrist. Psychiatrist told her that she was suffering due to depression which lead to anger. Tina "But why? I paid my life just as per my choice. My husband love me and every thing is perfect." "It happens sometimes. It could be some physical cause that person start getting depressed." He explained her in medical terms but it went above her head. But she sensed one thing that psychiatrist could solve her problem. She was still feeling angry. She decided to take medicines as per psychiatrist's instructions. She felt that would solve her problem. But they were started making her feel too sleep. She was not getting angry but she couldn't even wanted to perform like old days. She was so upset by this. She waned to move as she want. But she just kept sleeping. Even her kids were started complaining regarding her lack of interest in every thing. Then they once again discussed that issue with their psychiatrist. Psychiatrist told her to stop medicine and he said that now she had to go for counselling which would be hard process since she had to do all with her will power. She wanted to be normal. She decided to go for it. She began to get relax by it. But at beginning once again her anger started to rise. She had to work hard to stop it. She felt so many impulse to scream on customer but on those moment she started telling sales girl to take over. In case of kids she tried to scream less. But still she sensed that her anger was just returning. She never sensed that her anger was truly reduced. Until sales girl said it. Her husband started smiling with joy due to freedom in household. Now kids acted wrong way and get punished. But they dared to act and didn't hide it. She still screamed on all but not that way which would bring goosebumps on them. She didn't seem monster to kid. She was just strict Mom. She knew in her heart that her kids felt that they could move her on fingertips but she smiled on their that thought. She didn't get angry. But she didn't notice it. Until she once again one kid came in shop with ice cream, this time that kid once again touched that dress before Tina could stop that small one. Tina came running. Sales girl was tense. But Tina didn't felt anger towards that little angel. It was not his mistake. She looked at cloth. His Mom started apologizing. Tina smiled and said "It is nothing. We make you bill and you can buy it after all we don't want to create mess of that situation which we can handle without Police." That woman immediately nodded. Her face was pale. Tina knew that little angel was going to get punish but not due to her but by his own Mom. That was right way of life. She sensed one thing. She was angry person but not a person with mental problem now.
The End
Tina was cooking her perfect lunch. She knew soon her kids going to come home. She just began to hate that style of her life. Every day she just kept cooking and cleaning. Then she hardly even had any time for herself because after doing all that work she felt so tired that she just wanted to sleep. She just wanted to keep some nice maid who would not take vacation but it seemed like impossible task. She knew that her whole life was just wasting in kitchen while her family hardly care. Ramesh always kept telling her that he was so busy in office that he would not help her with household. After all she was just housewife not some one who was doing service so she had to adjust. So she decided somewhere in her heart it was enough. She knew that she wanted some job to earn respect from her family. But it was so hard since she had never tried. She decided just one thing from heart that she wanted to find job. She was sure that her friend Mukta would help her regarding it. She had to do her work fast to meet Mukta. After all she must not tell any one about it. She didn't want any one to understand every step towards her success. She wanted to teach them lesson so she needed it to be secret. She did her every work fast and finally her work was over. She started deciding that she must get ready. She searched for her address. She began to search in her old cupboard. She started looking in old things. There were many useless things in it. She knew that she had arranged every thing again in that cupboard. She searched in every corner to find that address. Soon she found many things from childhood. It was so nice when she was child, every thing was just perfect. She never once felt so much tense. At that time she kept looking at those things which were inside that cupboard. She was arranging all things but somewhere in her heart she managed to set it perfectly. She was so happy regarding it. She just kept looking at them. Her every dress was reminding her of one happy day which was special for her. She managed to live once again her life. She was back in childhood without her husband or kids. But she wanted her family also in that childhood. She felt strange sort of attachment to both sides. She was so upset. She suddenly wanted to break every thing around her. She was about to set in properly. But she just started throwing them in trash. She wanted to just destroy every thing. She wanted to throw all things. She began to do it. Then she thought that she might use that place for useful purpose. She felt relieved from inside. She was so happy to get rid of those things. It was so exhausting that she was loaded in dust. She decided to take shower. She looked at watch. She was too late. She wanted to go but she couldn't manage today. So she went inside her room. She fell on bed and slept immediately. In that dream she sensed she was alive but still she just couldn't move. She felt something was not right about her. She just kept screaming. But she couldn't move. Then she woke up, she was fallen on floor. It must had happen when she was dreaming. She just sat on that floor and looked around. It was so strange. Such a thing never happened to her. It was most strange. She went in kitchen.
Tina looked at every thing in kitchen. It was nice. Then door bell rang. Her kids were back from school. She gave smile but they just ran in room to change clothes and started screaming for food. She felt strange anger. She was their mother not servant. They at least needed to say hello to her for sake of respect. She could sense anger was boiling inside her. Tina screamed " Why don't you say at least hello to me?" She screamed in such a strange way that both kids came out running and said " Hello." Then once again they ran. She knew that they did what she asked but she just felt one thing that she was not getting suitable respect. She went in kitchen and started heating that snacks which she had cooked. She called kids. They came inside. Both were busy on mobile. They hardly had time to look at her. They immediately finished snacks and returned to their room. She was so angry. She knew that she must deserved some respect. But she didn't know how to get it. Once again she went in her room and started searching for that address. She just began to search hard this time but still she suddenly noticed her old clothes. She wanted to try them. But she knew that she couldn't do that before kids. She felt that they would laugh on her. After all she was out of shape now. She had heard many taunts regarding her fat. She knew that she had to do some exercise. She wanted to be back in shape once again. But she was planning to do to office. Then she was so confused. She had to plan properly. She had to do some thing which would make her fit and perfect in every one's eyes. She didn't know which way would work. Once she kept thinking about job. But she felt fitness was more important. She started searching for her exercise cycle. She had bought it on her birthday. But she just received disapproval from her husband who kept saying that she didn't understand value of money. But she bought it for health. She didn't understand how could she began to move ahead at every step in life. But no one understood her. She just kept telling them all but they just kept avoiding her. She never understood why did they cared for her. When she screamed, she saw her kids ran away but they never came near her to talk with her to share her troubles and sorrows. After all she was Mom. But they just never cared. Sometimes she felt that her husband might be feeding their mind against her. But then she thought that it was not possible. Why did he do that. Then she suddenly remembered that serial where that husband was having affair with another woman. She was so scared. But then she felt that it was totally wrong. He never acted that way. She once again started searching in her cupboard for address. She knew that diet was hard for her. She should go for job and that bicycle was too old and rusted due to not using. She wanted to use it but never had time. She knew that it happened just because her husband never wanted her to do that. She just didn't understand that why did every one hated her so much from heart.
Tina finally found that address. She was so happy to get it. She wanted to get that job and became some one great. She just started getting ready when she remembered that she had not called her friend. She immediately called her. But her friend didn't pick phone on four rings. She was so upset when her friend finally took phone. Her friend " Who is it?" "I am Tina." "After so many days." "Actually I want some job in your shop." "Ohh..you are always welcome." Tina was so happy when she heard voice of her kids. She remembered that she had to drop those trouble makers some where. She was so upset by those kids. She just wanted to get rid of them. She knew that she was mother but they were biggest trouble for her. She could see in their eyes. They just felt that she was nothing. She knew that when they were born, she was on top of world at every point. She sensed one thing that her kids were no longer those kids for whom she used to care. It was getting so promising for her at every step. She could do that job. While these kids..she just screamed. Both kids came out running. They stood before her. " I want to you to stay with grandma." "But Mom I want to some.." "No need to say any thing when I told you something, you must do it. I just never like argument." Then both kids stood quietly so one thing was clear that they were no longer arguing about any thing. Tina smiled. She called her Mom and arranged it all. She told kids to get ready. They came out finally after 10 minutes. She felt that they were behaving like some enemies. This was happening every day. Her kids just didn't listen to her. She just hated it. But finally when she screamed, they came out with bags. There was not any further argument. She just called Taxi and dropped them at her Mom's house who was willing to keep them. Then she was happy. She decided that it was perfect day to join shop. She looked at her dress. She was ready for her work. She still remembered those days when she used to sit in shop to sell dresses. She was something at that time. She was not useless thing. It was so hard for her to stay that way. She went near shop. It was still same shop but there were many big shops around it. It was looking so small and old fashion in it. She decided that she would change it's look. As soon as she entered, a sales girl looked at her without interest. She was so shocked. She could be a customer. How could sale girl act like that. She came near her. " Why are you sitting like that? Are you not going to show me dress?" That girl " You can look by yourself." "Then you should walk on road by yourself." "You can't throw me out. You are not owner of shop." " No. I am not but my friend is. Just get lost.""Shit..what a stupid old lady!!" This was enough for Tina. She just slapped that girl and threw her out of shop on road. That girl was screaming on her and telling her that she would load complaint against her. But Tina didn't care. She was just happy to see that girl out of shop. Another sales girl came out timidly and started arranging dress. Tina smiled happily so she had became boss of that shop. After all her friend would visit only limited times and she would love the way. She increased her sales.
Tina was so happy after that day. She was daily going in that shop and every thing was working out as per her wishes in her house also. She had become boss. She knew that it would be happiest moment for her. But for few days she felt happiness then she started feeling some sort of strange frustration. She felt that she was working too much. She was working in house as well as in office. Since she needed in both places, she never had any time to relax. She sensed no one was even ready to talk with her. They just came to her for taking orders. Not for chatting. Even every one's hello seemed as if they were forced. No one was happy and pleased with her. She wanted to chat but no one was there to chat. It was just worst by every angle. She was just working day and night. She kept bossing and every one was just kept complaining behind her. She could clearly sense that she was disliked by all except her husband who many times protested and did as per his wishes. But things were not as per her wishes. She was still feeling so upset from her soul. She began to sense that she needed some time to rest. That day when she went in shop,she sensed that she was not in her good mood which she specially stored for her customer. She tried hard to keep her smile. But she could sense it was telling toll on her. She just wanted to scream on those customer. Specially those who brought their kids. Since kids just loved to jump around and destroy. Her kids were same but she trained them. They never do that before her. But these kids were so manner less and their Mom just kept smiling whole time. She sensed one thing that this was totally wrong. Those Mom had to control their kids. Specially when they were in other person's shop, first they had to handle those kids then they needed to show some respect. But they never did that. After that they didn't even wanted to buy any clothes. They just kept pretending. Many times Tina sensed it. But she kept her look.That day it was most expensive dress on model and a woman came inside with her kid who was having ice cream in her hand. Tina immediately stopped her. But that woman kept arguing with her. Tina just didn't understand. Why did she had to act that stubborn. But during that time her small kid touched that dress. Tina just lost her cool. She began to scream on that kid in such a way that every one on road came running. That kid began to cry. His Mom was also scared. She asked about the cost. She was even willing to pay price but Tina just kept arguing. Even when sales girl tried to calm her. It continued to Police woman did came. Police woman heard the case and told that woman to pay for dress and took it. That woman took it. But whole time that little kid was crying in his Mom's hand. When that woman went out, she just slowly said to Tina " Madam I can understand your loss but I was willing on first place only. Why did you have to scream like that on my kid? Now he will never go in any shop with me. I know he did wrong thing. But he is small boy. Then act in such a way and their parents paid for it. But this was too much." Then that woman went away. That kid was still shaking with fear. That Police woman " Can I suggest you a thing lady as friend? Go to Doctor? Some thing must be wrong with your health. Why else did you go so much angry? It happens. If you ignore, then you may need to go to hospital." Then that Policewoman told scary story of her relative. Tina was so scared. Even that sales girl came to her and said " Madam you are like sister to me. That's why I am telling you. Take off today and go to Doctor." Tina nodded. Then she called her husband who also seemed willing to come with her.
Tina waited outside in clinic. Every time her anger kept increasing. She just kept screaming on receptionist. She did it so much that finally one patient. Let her go in her place. When she went inside, Doctor checked her blood pressure. It was high. "I have guessed. It is rising due to your anger."" But I thought I am getting anger due to it." "No..No..your anger is your mental problem. You need to control it by going to psychiatrist." She screamed " I am not mad." "No.. But you are blood pressure patient who is jumping with anger on every moment. This is card. Go or one day you will have heart attack. Then you will go after that." She looked at her husband who looked totally convinced. She was also convinced now. "Okay." Then they called psychiatrist and took appointment. She was so upset that day. Her husband had convinced kids that she was sick. They acted in their best way. Then they started visiting psychiatrist. Psychiatrist told her that she was suffering due to depression which lead to anger. Tina "But why? I paid my life just as per my choice. My husband love me and every thing is perfect." "It happens sometimes. It could be some physical cause that person start getting depressed." He explained her in medical terms but it went above her head. But she sensed one thing that psychiatrist could solve her problem. She was still feeling angry. She decided to take medicines as per psychiatrist's instructions. She felt that would solve her problem. But they were started making her feel too sleep. She was not getting angry but she couldn't even wanted to perform like old days. She was so upset by this. She waned to move as she want. But she just kept sleeping. Even her kids were started complaining regarding her lack of interest in every thing. Then they once again discussed that issue with their psychiatrist. Psychiatrist told her to stop medicine and he said that now she had to go for counselling which would be hard process since she had to do all with her will power. She wanted to be normal. She decided to go for it. She began to get relax by it. But at beginning once again her anger started to rise. She had to work hard to stop it. She felt so many impulse to scream on customer but on those moment she started telling sales girl to take over. In case of kids she tried to scream less. But still she sensed that her anger was just returning. She never sensed that her anger was truly reduced. Until sales girl said it. Her husband started smiling with joy due to freedom in household. Now kids acted wrong way and get punished. But they dared to act and didn't hide it. She still screamed on all but not that way which would bring goosebumps on them. She didn't seem monster to kid. She was just strict Mom. She knew in her heart that her kids felt that they could move her on fingertips but she smiled on their that thought. She didn't get angry. But she didn't notice it. Until she once again one kid came in shop with ice cream, this time that kid once again touched that dress before Tina could stop that small one. Tina came running. Sales girl was tense. But Tina didn't felt anger towards that little angel. It was not his mistake. She looked at cloth. His Mom started apologizing. Tina smiled and said "It is nothing. We make you bill and you can buy it after all we don't want to create mess of that situation which we can handle without Police." That woman immediately nodded. Her face was pale. Tina knew that little angel was going to get punish but not due to her but by his own Mom. That was right way of life. She sensed one thing. She was angry person but not a person with mental problem now.
The End
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