Searching for wife
Tarun started
to write everything with full concentration. He needed to feel fully positive.
In each word he was expressing his feelings. He started to think that he needed
to work hard. He looked around. He had nice house. It was small but nice one.
Sarika wasn’t happy in it. He knew that. From the day when they started dating
Sarika always kept showing strange admiration for her Parent’s house. He wanted
to feel positive in her heart. He remembered those dates. They were so
wonderful. But her attachment to her parents was never hidden. One day his
family asked him about his plan about marriage. He told them about Sarika. His
family decided to ask Sarika’s parents. He wanted to warn her. But he couldn’t
nothing went in right way. Her parents rejected his proposal. Now he needed to
convince her regarding marrying him. He was planning to insist on his love. He
wrote it for hours & finally he decided to give it to her personally. He
took out his bike & began to drive towards her house. He knew that he
needed to reach her home & her parents were not positive about him. But he
needed to convince. He came to door & rang door bell. Her Mom opened door.
He was expecting angry look but her mom smiled & said “Come in.” Her Mom
told him to sit down. “Are you here regarding marriage proposal?” He nodded. “Sarika
didn’t see you as her husband.” “What?” Her Mom looked little frustrated but
she continued. “Come on you can surely understand. Girls have their wishes.
Their dreams! They create some person who will be match for them.” “I don’t get
it. She liked me when we date.” “Of course, & you need to keep trying.
Slowly she might find that love in you. It will take sometime I know but you
need to work hard. You need to make her fall in love with you. Have you
understood?” He nodded. He was nodding but it was behind his grasp. He couldn’t
make Sarika fall in love with him. He felt so nervous. He began to get so
stressed. He wanted to feel hopeful but he kept getting negative about all
thoughts. He needed to think positively about all. He smiled & said “I will
try.” Then he went back with his letter. He didn’t understand why he didn’t
able to express himself. He was so frustrated. He began to feel that he
couldn’t feel positive since he didn’t able to convince Sarika. He was about to
go when her mom said “She is upstairs. Why don’t you go & talk?” He nodded.
He went upstairs. She was sitting. He slowly came near her. She was clearly
crying. She saw him & immediately declared “We must stop dating.” He didn’t
understand what was going on. He slowly asked “Why?” “I don’t love you. I want
to search for person whom I will love. You are not the one.” He felt so upset.
But he didn’t say anything. He just looked stressed. She sensed it but she said
“I may leave.” He felt so insulted. He just stood up & left room. He knew
one thing that he didn’t want to have any connection with Sarika any more. He
returned home & immediately declared it. His father looked happy. “I don’t
want that rich girl to get married in our house. She looked like snob.” But his
mom looked sad. “Are you sure? I mean you can give another try.” “No Mom. I
will start searching for new girl.” His father “What about Meena? She is nice
girl daughter of my friend.” He immediately nodded. He just wanted to start
dating. His father immediately fixed one date for him. When his office would
close next day, he would go & meet Meena.
Tarun was so angry. Sarika was enjoying
those dates. He was certain about it but suddenly all changed. It began to
create impact on his mind. His heart began to get upset. He wanted to feel
hopeful but his life was already shattered by negativity. He looked towards
clock on wall. He checked timing. It was so frustrating. He knew that Meena was
coming to meet him with hope. But in his heart, he was having negativity. He
wanted to keep control of situation this time. He needed to make sure that he
would be one who could be fooled. Sarika fooled him. He was going to keep it in
his mind. He knew that he was going to be late if he didn’t leave immediately.
But he decided to wait. He knew that if he went there late then it would have
different. He knew it since he waited for Sarika on many dates. He felt so
upset. He didn’t understand how could he pretend everything was fine. He needed
to do that but he couldn’t. He told himself to calm down. He needed to smile.
He went in rest room of office. He watched his face carefully. He was looking
so nice. He was so happy. He began to hope that soon he would find some way
impress Meena. Meena needed to be impressed by him. He must manage to get nice
girlfriend soon. If possible, he wanted to get married soon. He didn’t want
anyone to know that Sarika left him. It was going to be worst thing for him. He
did so much to impress her. He considered her as important as his every breath
& now he needed to replace her. He began to cry slowly. He was so upset.
Anyone could enter in that restroom after all it was office’s restroom. It was
so embarrassing if someone noticed him crying. He was feeling so stressed. He
told himself to control his emotions. He smiled & started to go where his
father told. He began to get so tense. He wanted positivity in his life but it
wasn’t happening. He was getting upset but still he managed to smile. Finally,
he reached to that point where he was planning to meet Meena. He began to
search for Meena. He didn’t saw her photo. He totally forgot it. Suddenly one
ordinary looking lady came near him. She gave him smile. He began to think that
she must be Meena. He wasn’t expecting good looking girl. But this girl was so
ordinary. Most importantly she looked little stupid. That girl gave nervous
smile & said “Hello Tarun! I am Meena.” So, she managed to see his photo.
He supposed to feel impressed by it but he was not. He wanted a girl who looked
better than Sarika. He didn’t want ordinary looking girl. He gave smile which
was telling he was superior than her. Meena didn’t mind. Meena just pointed
towards table & said “That’s our table let’s go.” So, Meena was waiting for
him such a long time. But it didn’t impact Meena so much. She was in her world.
It seemed as if Meena never got such nice man as date so she was happy to have
this chance & she was not ready to reduce that happiness. Meena kept
chatting. She kept smiling. He answered in limited words but it didn’t impact
Meena since she wasn’t paying attention to him. She was lost in her world. She
was enjoying that date & she didn’t plan to pay any attention to his
negativity. She was happy in her dream world with her positivity.
Tarun was hoping that during that
date Meena would sense his negativity but she didn’t. She kept talking.
Finally, he told her that they needed to go home. She agreed to it. When he
reached home, he couldn’t find any negative word about Meena. She was nice
girl. He wanted to like her but he was frustrated. He was so angry. His anger
was capturing his mind. He couldn’t think positively. His parents were very
excited about this date. He sensed that they didn’t want Sarika as their
daughter-in-law any more. Clearly Sarika’s parents must had said something. He
sensed one thing with more emphasis his parents didn’t want him to have any
connection with Sarika. Sarika’s parents were suggesting that they should
continue to date. One day she would fall in love with him was Sarika’s parent’s
hope which they were planting in his mind. But he wasn’t sure. He wanted to try
it. This entire incidence was painful for him. He needed to feel hopeful but he
was feeling totally negative. He didn’t understand what was wrong with him. He
was so stressed in his heart. He kept searching for way to fall in love with
Meena & forget Sarika. He needed to do it fast. He couldn’t smile but he
said slowly to his parents “I plan to get married with Meena.” They looked so
happy. His father “You liked her so much?!” “Actually, I wanted to settle down
& life isn’t moving in right way for me. I know Sarika doesn’t like me so I
need to get married as soon as possible.” His parents looked towards him with
shock look. His father said “I don’t want you to get married in such hurry. You
need sometime to think.” He didn’t say anything. Then his mom also agreed with
his father & said “I feel you need to take some break.” He began to agree
too. He couldn’t destroy life of some girl just because he wanted to hide his
girl friend cheated on him. He told himself that he needed to remain positive
regarding all. His mind was so nervous. His positivity was reducing step by
step. He wanted to think in hopeful way but he couldn’t. He said “ I will just
date her.” So after that they began to meet daily. He was paying full attention
to her. He was trying to think about Meena in positive way. He was working hard
to reduce his negativity in entire matter. He began to try hard to make it
work. Every day he was going out to meet her. She came with same interest. She
kept talking with same happiness. He didn’t understand what was going on. One day he suddenly
received call from Sarika. She said “I am ready for date!” He was so shocked.
He didn’t want to say “No” But still he needed. He said roughly “Sorry I am
dating another girl.” Sarika said “Okay.” & disconnected call. He was
expecting some sorrows from her. He thought that she would plead. But nothing
like that happened. She just disconnected his call. He was so upset. He began
to feel restless. He knew that she was just trying to date again but he started
to hope again. He began to think to stop dating Meena. He felt that he needed
to start dating Sarika again. He called Meena. He told her about Sarika. Meena
sounded so upset. Meena “But I thought you are planning to marry me now!” “I
was but now Sarika is coming back…” “Okay.” Meena disconnected call. He called
Sarika & told her that they could start dating. When he told this to his
parents, they were so angry. His father “You are losing your mind.” “Yes, maybe
I am but I want to marry Sarika. I don’t like Meena.” His Mom gave angry look
& said “Fine. But now remain stuck to it.” He nodded. After that his
parents stopped taking interest in his life. Sarika used to come on dates
sometimes. But slowly she reduced it. He
began to feel so nervous. He started to have nightmares in which Meena was
cursing him for his dishonesty. He couldn’t believe it. He knew that Meena was
no longer part of his life. But he began to feel that Meena was bringing bad
luck on him. He decided that he needed to talk with her. He called Meena &
asked “So do you hold grudge on me?” Meena said in odd way “Who is speaking?”
He was so shocked. “Stop pretending. We were dating for some time.” “Oh! Tarun!
I don’t want you to call me again. I don’t want to start dating with you again
so stop irritating me.” He was so shocked. “So, you are dating some one else?”
“I am not in hurry to find someone like you. I will marry if I fall in love
otherwise I will not & I am never going to fall in love with you I am sure
about it.” Then she disconnected call. He didn’t understand what was happening
with him. He was no longer feeling positive but clearly Meena wasn’t its cause.
He couldn’t sleep at night. Then he began to sense he needed help. He decided
to take appointment of Psychiatrist. He had one under his office. He one day
went there & took appointment. He kept getting those nightmares. Slowly his
pain was visible on his face. His parents blamed it on his wrong decision. Then
finally he went for that appointment. He entered in room & immediately told
all to Psychiatrist. Finally, he asked “Did I done wrong by saying no to
Meena?” “No, you done wrong by starting to date her. You done right by saying
no to her before marriage since you were cheating to Meena. You shouldn’t have
started dating Meena immediately after break up. You are getting those
nightmares due to guilt. You need to talk with Meena & apologize. Tell her
why you said no to her. She might get angry but you deserve
whatever she says to you.” He nodded. Then Psychiatrist said “& you need to
stop dating Sarika. Stay away from her. Don’t date anyone for some time.” Then
Psychiatrist gave him some medicine too. He called Meena & apologized.
Meena just said “ I just want you to forget all. We need to move on.” He agreed
with her. They decided that they would never meet again happily. Then he
messaged Sarika that he wanted to stop dating. After sometime he began to
forget all those dating issues. It took sometime but slowly those nightmares
stopped too. He began to concentrate on his career while ignoring his love
life. After sometime he stopped his Psychiatric treatment as per Doctor’s
instructions. His life became normal. He began to get better in his work. One
day Sarika called. But he didn’t feel much love towards her. He just told her “
This is over accept it.” She said “ Okay.” In few days he found her with
another fellow. He felt little hurt but he also felt glad that he stopped
dating her. On that day he took appointment of Psychiatrist discussed. But after
that discussion he went ahead with his life normally. He decided that he would
wait for life partner if he found one great otherwise, he was fine as he was.
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