Her memories of husband
She began to look behind. She was so sure that her daughter Seema was there. But unfortunately her daughter Seema was not behind her. It was beach full of sands. She told herself that she needed to move ahead in life. She knew that her daughter was not coming back. She knew that she had no one who could take care of her. She couldn’t lose her mental stability like this. She needed to be confident. She told her soul everything was fine. But it wasn’t. She was acting in odd way. She looked behind nervously. She knew her daughter ran away with her boyfriend. Seema was never coming back. She didn’t understand if it was her mistake. She was mother of Seema. She took proper care of Seema. On that point she heard a voice “ Rina….Rina..” she looked behind someone was calling her name. She saw her old school friend Arun. She didn’t like Arun at all. Arun was biggest irritation of her life. She didn’t like him in her college. Arun kept sending cards but she kept avoiding his messages. Arun was boy in their neighbourhood. He was nice boy but she didn’t like him. She didn’t feel any attraction towards him. Sometimes Rina felt that it happened since he kept following her too much. She didn’t understand why? Now Arun was married father of two children but still he kept following her. This was odd sort of obsession. Arun kept coming to talk with her. She didn’t want to talk with him normally but today she was happy that a human was calling her & it was not her imagination so she decided to chat with him. She smiled nicely. He was married man now so there was no risk that he would suggest her that he was in love with her. She said slowly “ How are you? & what about your wife & daughters.” He didn’t look upset. He began to talk about his wife. He was telling a lot about her. He was describing her attitude. He started to tell “ She just waste so much in shopping that sometimes I want to complaint. That day she took that costly dress. Do you remember there was one dress in showcase of that branded showroom?” She remembered it very well. She was watching that dress for sometime. She wanted to buy but then she thought her life was over. Her husband was dead & her daughter Seema ran away from house so she didn’t need a dress. Sometimes she just wished to forget all but she couldn’t. “ Did your wife purchase it?” He nodded. Then he made sad face & said “ Then worst thing happened! It didn’t fit her. First I got angry with her but when she started trying it & it didn’t fit her. She began to cry. I felt so sorry. It wasn’t her such big mistake. Things like that kept happening didn’t they?” “Yes..yes.” “ So I console her & gave her money for another dress which is of her size.” He looked towards her in confusion & asked “ Am I mad person? I mean instead of controlling her expenses I encouraged her.” She began to laugh. “ No you are in love.” Then he looked nervous & said “ I told her.. I mean I lied to her that my friend will purchase it.” She began to get irritated. She didn’t want to purchase it. “ I am not interested in buying..” He took out bag with dress. “ I know.. I know but try to understand I lied to her. I don’t want her to see this dress.” Then he looked around. “ I can throw it out or maybe give it to beggars.” He looked nervously around. Then he turned towards her. “ Come on you are my best friend can’t you keep this dress. You can wear it or just keep it in your cupboard. I will be so glad if you wear once & send photo to me. I show it to my wife & she will happy.” She snapped on him “ I am not your best friend! We just went to same college & school.” Now he began to look desperate. He started to search for beggars. She suddenly began to dislike idea of throwing away that dress. She didn’t want such dress to be given to some beggar when she loved it. She snatched bag from him. “ Give it to me. I will send photo.” He nodded happily. He began to go away but she felt that it was odd to let him just go away without returning something as remuneration. She thought about money but then she suddenly remembered that he loved books. She asked “ Why don’t I give you some books?” He felt so shocked. “ I don’t want you to spend money on me.” “ No..no those are books of my husband.” “Ohh!” “ He is no more.” She felt as Arun smiled. But soon he began to talk “ My wife hated so much when I waste money on books if I bring books in exchange of dress. She will be so happy. Now a days books are so costly.” She sensed that he didn’t heard her. He was lost in his world. He loved his family. She felt so happy for him. She said “ Let’s go in my home.” He suddenly looked towards watch. “ Sorry I am getting late maybe tomorrow. Bye.” He just vanished the way he came. She felt so confused. She looked towards that dress. She didn’t know what she would do with it. She took it in home anyway. But when she reached home, she received another shock. Seema was in house. She had some clothes in her bag. Seema “ I came to stay here. Actually I need to go to some work & it’s near by.” Rina nodded happily. Rina was happy to meet her daughter. But when Seema entered in her room she started to order her. Seema screamed “ Mom bring one glass of Juice.” She wanted to scream back on Seema. But she acted nicely as she always did. She went in kitchen & prepared glass of juice. She slowly took it in Seema’s room. She was so stressed that her daughter Seema was treating her like servant but that was truth of her life. She never received respect. She supposed to work hard for hours in house but since she didn’t got job & earning through it so she was not useful. Seema was married so she was hoping that now Seema would act nice with her. Seema ran out of house but still Seema didn’t feel a bit guilty. Rina knew that Seema had right to choose husband but still Seema married against her wishes & still Seema expected that she should act on point as per her wish. Rina wanted to object & argue but she didn’t. She was too scared. In odd way she was scared of entire world. After her marriage Rina never took any decision as per her wish even before marriage she used to obey her father. It was so odd. But she was moving as per instructions she never broke them. Soon she started to get instructions from Seema & she began to obey.
After serving everything to Seema as per her desire. Rina went to kitchen to cook lunch. She began to do cooking. She was so sure that she could cook in perfect way. But when she began to cook she started to get restless. She told herself everything was fine. She didn’t understand why she was feeling uneasy. She started to remember what she supposed to do. Then she remembered that she supposed to take out all books of her husband. But they were in cupboard surely whenever Arun would come then she could give it to him. She was confident that it would be done in no time. She cooked dinner. Then she sat before TV but soon she sensed that TV had just those channels which Seema liked. She didn’t going to enjoy it. Then she decided to see something on her tablet. She needed to wait for maid. She knew that maid would clean house & wash dishes. Then after it she could go anywhere she wanted. She was waiting for maid when her mobile rang. It was unknown number. She didn’t like idea of taking call. Unknown once sometimes seemed better than known one. She didn’t understand why but she felt unknown fear towards every person she knew & it was rising step by step. She knew that they didn’t understand her. They all just wanted her to obey other member of family. She didn’t deserve her opinion. She decided to take that unknown call. She felt happy when she heard Arun’s voice saying hello without second thought she began to talk “ I have one cupboard full of book. You need to come & choose out of them.” “ Really? Your husband loved books so much?” “ No! It was just show off. He pretended that way. He placed book on such a way that people felt that he was very smart & intelligent. He never read any of them in his life. He just get summery from Internet then he kept discussing with people for hours while showing off that he had read so many books. He was reading nothing for long time. But he was good at pretending. He loved pretending that he was scholar who read so many books. He didn’t required knowledge for it. He just needed to get notes out of what others wrote. She suddenly began to remember days of her marriage. She began to sense that she supposed to remember positive. She remembered how did her husband showered her with gifts. She always managed to get money whenever she asked for it. He never said no to her luxuries. She could shop until she didn’t get too tired. It was pleasant. She never needed to hide her purchases from her husband. In fact he loved to see her shopping. She began to remember how did she purchased many things. Sometimes they were useless she sensed it when she returned home. She began to get upset but her husband used to joke on it. Her husband had just one motto. He used to say “ Money is for human human are not for money. If you waste some money I can always earn it back but if you waste your tears I can’t earn it back can I?” She sweetly smiled at his memory. He was so sweet. He was dominating but at same time he was so caring. She didn’t need to look towards anyone for help in any issue when he was alive. But he used to pamper Seema little bit too much. Then he also wanted son so he kept insisting for second child but destiny didn’t give it to them. They had to adjust with just one. Seema was nice girl but her husband managed to spoil her. He told Seema on every step she was best. She was a lot better than her Mom. Seema got nice job with help of relative but Seema started to feel she was best. Her father was encouraging her on that point Rina was busy with her life. She was enjoying her shopping & her outings. But she never gave thoughts to how did her family treated her. She never understood she needed to demand some respect. She did her household chores daily as per her duty. It was so upsetting now. She was not getting any pampering by her husband since he was no more. No shopping. Since whatever she purchased that would he taken & used just by Seema. She was no longer supposed to use ornaments & make herself beautiful. She didn’t understand for whom she should dress up. If she dressed up she felt one question in every eye. Why this widow dressed up like that? For whom? Some even asked her “ Where are you going?” She said “ Market.” They gave odd look to her from top to bottom then they said “ So dressed up for market! Your dress have such a colourful look. Any one will feel suspicious. I know well so don’t feel wrong about you but all people begin to gossip.” She felt so nervous. She didn’t went to market from that day she sensed that she could no longer do shopping. Her husband was not alive to enjoy it so that shopping was just burden on bank account she couldn’t wear it. But today Arun gave her one dress. Suddenly she spoke without listening to what he was saying “ Let go to some hotel. I have not went anywhere since I become widow. Before that I use to visit mall daily. My husband wanted me to enjoy my life but now other people wanted to avoid that shopping & other things.” Arun didn’t say anything for long time. She was about to say that she was just joking. He had his family. But Arun said “ Let’s go to mall then we can eat & go to movie too.” “ Great!” Then she sensed that his wife might get upset. She asked “ Will your wife join us?” “Of course! She will guide us in everything. She is expert.” They both laughed. Then he said “ I will tell you when I book tickets.” Then he kept talking. She kept talking too. She was talking for hours. But she didn’t mind. She wanted to chat with someone. He was ready to spend sometime on mobile with her. She was so happy. Then suddenly door bell rang. She remembered her maid was supposed to come so she told Arun that she needed to open door. Arun laughed & said “ If I talk for more time my servants will began to say I am making more bill on mobile than other expenses of shop.” They both laughed. She used to laugh freely this way with just her husband. He used to boss on her but he used to shower love & affection on her too. She missed him. She wanted him back. But she couldn’t get him. She opened door maid came inside. Immediately maid commented on her smile. “ What happened Madam? Why you are looking so happy?” It seemed as if she must not feel happy. Maid was talking in such accusing tone. She didn’t say anything just said “ I want to get ready. I am going out. Just hurry up with your work.” “ Where?” “In mall!” She said with strange determination.
Clearly Maid didn’t approve Rina’s going out. Maid slowly said “ You are going in mall alone.” “ No! My friend is coming with his wife.” “ Ohh!” Then maid noticed her dress given by Arun. Maid screamed “ You are wearing that.” “ I am.” She answered in loud voice too. She began to get nervous. She carefully watched dress. Her dress was so beautiful. She knew that Maid was feeling upset by her attitude. She suddenly felt so scared what if Maid told all about this to Seema. Seema would clearly create issue. But then she thought that why she needed to get tense. It was her house. She began to wait for Arun’s call. But then she suddenly sensed that he didn’t promise to book tickets for today. She began to feel that she was acting stupid. She was so excited about going out so she did it. She was totally ready. She wanted to get dressed & she wanted to enjoy her life but sadly she couldn’t feel happiness in her mind. She was feeling so scared. She suddenly decided that she must not take this risk. She called Arun & told him “ Don’t book tickets I am little bit busy.” She thought that Arun would object but he agreed easily. Then she once again removed her clothes. She went in kitchen & began to cook for Seema. She supposed to do all for Seema. When Maid completed her work, Maid went away but not without taunting her that she must not go out in such a bold dresses. It was hurting her so much. She wanted to feel happy but she was feeling sad & stressed. She didn’t understand how did her life went in such a wrong way. She sat on chair. Then she sensed that Arun was not taking so much interest in her. She was more interested in him. She was dragging him. She once disliked Arun & now she wanted him. She began to think how many times she felt that someone was calling her. She didn’t pay attention. But she knew that she was hearing voices. She wanted to tell herself that it was okay but it was not. She was feeling so tense. She knew that hearing voices wasn’t normal. Now she kept thinking about Arun. It was not okay too. She supposed to marry him when she was unmarried but now as widow she could marry another unmarried man. She felt so nervous. Then she remembered about books. She called Arun. “ I forgot about books.” “ It’s okay. In marriage reason my shop will be busy I will come later after few months.” “ Okay.” Then she began to talk about her maid. She didn’t want to discuss but she couldn’t stop herself. Before he could answer, she heard one woman talking to him & a child was screaming. Clearly customer was in his shop & child was neither going to wait nor Mom. Customer wanted full attention. He said “ I will talk later.” She just said “ Bye.” Then she got message from him. He wrote Call on this number it will help. She didn’t understand why but she decided to talk. On that point she suddenly looked towards her face. She began to think about what happened. She saw one swelling on her cheek. She didn’t remember when it happened. She didn’t remember her past? She began to shiver. She didn’t understand what was happening to her. She ran in kitchen. She was hoping her maid would guide her. She needed help. But she saw no one was there. Her maid had left. She once again looked in mirror. Her face was normal again. She began to feel so uneasy. She kept watching her face. She suddenly looked towards her mobile. She began to search for Arun’s message. It was not there. She decided to call him again. This time he sounded irritated. But she began to ask for number & he said with shock “ Which number? Why does I send you a number?” “ Since I need help!” “ Regarding what?” “ My mental issues.” Arun remained silent. Then Arun said with firmness “ Rina something is wrong with you. If you feel that I send you some message I never did. You have also lied to me that your husband is dead. I saw him today with some colleagues. What are you trying to do?” “ I don’t understand. I need some help.” Then Arun said “ I give you a number of hospital..they will help you.” He disconnected. She waited for number. This time she immediately called. She didn’t want to vanish. She talked in such odd state that Receptionist immediately connected to Psychiatrist who asked “ Do you need someone to bring you or you will come by yourself?” “ No..no I will call Cab.” “ Tell me address I will book for you. You can pay afterwards.” She gave address. Soon her door bell rang. She was shocked to see driver. She immediately took her purse. But Driver told her that she might need to stay in hospital so check all. She thanked him & she packed small bag of essentials too. Then she went in hospital. She went in room & told all. Her Psychiatrist told her to give him number of Seema. She shivered. She didn’t want to talk to her. Psychiatrist told her that she needed to admit herself. She immediately agreed. Psychiatrist called nurse & she was taken in her room. Then Psychiatrist called Seema. Seema was so upset. “ My father divorced her. I used to stay just because it was needed. If she is admitted to hospital I need keys of house.” Psychiatrist felt so angry. “ First come & make payment then I will give keys.” “ I will not pay charges. She will pay out of her account.” “ Then I will keep her keys with me too. It’s her house. You can’t have it.” Seema wanted to argue but she felt scared. So she just said “ Okay.” Then psychiatrist sensed. Rina’s husband was abusive. He used to hit her. It was her memories. He left her for money. Rina began to regret her decision to marry him so she began to plan herself as widow. She wanted widow who was once happily married. Then she met Arun. She began to feel more comfortable. On that point she decided to get help & she came here. According to Psychiatrist she was lucky. Psychiatrist called Arun. “ So you are friend of Rina.” Arun didn’t say anything. Then he said “ Actually I loved Rina. I want to keep connection with her so I lied that I am married. When I saw her I thought that she was widow. It was wrong but I want her..but I know she is married..” “ No..no she is divorced.” Arun laughed. Psychiatrist “ But you need some treatment too. Just few sessions.” “ I can do all for her.” “ Okay come tomorrow.” Psychiatrist disconnected call. Psychiatrist took out Rina’s case file & started writing all. He knew that it would take some time but he was going to cure her. He had no doubt about it.
The End
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