Talking to herself
Nalini was so upset. She was observing everything carefully. Nalini tried her best for days to handle entire function but finally she didn’t earn any credit. She knew that entire admiration was received by her husband Prakash. It was so wrong. Prakash didn’t help her in any way. It was always like that. Nalini began to arrange all when Prakash came & gave her sweet smile. Prakash always did this magic with her. She forget all when he smiled. Even his betrayals! Then she told herself that it was single mistake. She could forgive him. She smiled sweetly. “ Yes. I arranged all as per your instructions.” Her words came out with bitterness. Prakash looked shocked. Prakash smiled & asked “ What happened?” She knew that one day she needed to tell that she knew his mistake. She knew that he was cheating on her. She kept looking towards him. She saw his daughter on that day in his arms. His daughter was jumping around & calling him Daddy. She was so shocked. She looked towards her house. Her son was already gone in hostel. Prakash insisted on it. Prakash said “ I needed help in our business. If you keep running after Harish whole day it doesn’t help him or you!” Harish was small on that time. But he was big enough for hostel. She was confused. Harish was scared. Harish hugged her. Harish didn’t want to go. But Prakash insisted. She felt it was right too. Harish needed to get nice education. That hostel was famous. At first time Harish cried. Then after some months Harish began to get irritated by even her calls. Harish was totally settled in his hostel life. He didn’t have time to speak. He was always in hurry for something. She could understand. Hostel had it’s rules & regulations. Harish was happy in hostel. Harish came home on vacations. Harish smiled & chatted but she knew that Harish was no longer interested in spending time with her. Harish booked some tour. He arranged his outings. Harish was no longer attached to her. Nalini knew that when kids grew up they always create their different life. Harish managed to create his own place. Harish began to stay in his world. She began to work hard in business. She took so many duties. She gave free time to Prakash. She felt so upset & cheated since he used it to have affairs. He was too busy with his new girlfriend. She didn’t heard rumours at first. But slowly she heard them. She didn’t like to go parties so she always avoided them. At beginning Prakash complained then he began to tell her that he would go with his some friend. He called her “ Sarita.” She didn’t mind. She trusted him. He was her husband father of one boy. He wouldn’t start having affair on this stage of life. She even used to laugh on this thought until one day she saw that scene by mistake. He was with one little girl who was calling him Dad. She gave him one angry look. Prakash watched her with nervous expressions. He asked “ What happened?!” “ This was function of company. You are it’s owner. You created all. But still you didn’t took any part anything of function.” Prakash just looked out of window. Prakash didn’t say anything. She was so upset. She said slowly “ I want to stop working here now.” Prakash gave her angry look. “ Then what do you want to do? Now even Harish is not in home. You can’t just sit there.” “ Yes I can. I want to relax.” She just took her purse & car keys. Without second thought she started to go out when suddenly her client entered. This client was nice gentleman who trusted her. He was young man with wonderful wife & two little kids. He just started his business. He was supplier to her company. He was just beginner. He started all on her guidance. He smiled & said “ Madam I just came. I brought all needed. Where are you going?” She felt so confused then Prakash screamed from behind “ Those cold drinks don’t came on time?” & then Prakash smiled. “ Ohh! so sorry. We were waiting for those soft drinks.” Then Prakash pointed “ Here they come.” Then Prakash took hold of her shoulder with affection. “ I told you. They will come.” She kept watching without expressions. But he kept pretending as if they were love birds. She didn’t have much option too. Nalini was so tense. Nalini needed to support this young man, Rakesh! He invested so much in business just on Nalini’s suggestion. She couldn’t turn back to him. Nalini smiled & went back. Soon Nalini began to arrange all. She once again started working. Prakash took breath of relief. Prakash didn’t understand why but Nalini began to throw tantrum again & again. He needed her. She did all in excellent way. She was great but suddenly she began to get so arrogant. He knew that she saw better than him. He needed to respect her. He didn’t like her attitude but he loved profit. He needed to love her. He knew that once he loved her but no more. He didn’t understand her anymore. It was not as if he was interested in other woman. He didn’t want to go through all this once again. One wife was enough for him. Entire time Nalini kept watching him like hawk. He didn’t understand why. He knew that sometimes he escaped from office & went to club for drinks with friends. But he never had any extra marital affair. He never even got friendly with any girl that way before their marriage. His parents suggested that he dated her. He got married. He just insisted one thing that Nalini should enter in business. It was since Harish was getting too much to Nalini. Nalini seemed to have some odd habits like sometimes she talked to herself. It was not madness. He was sure about it. He knew that his wife was not mad. It was just her odd habit. One day when he entered in room he saw Harish was following her. He was planning to send him in hostel after some time but he decided to do it early. It was very scared that Harish might develop her odd habits. But when Harish shifted to hostel. Harish began to feel something was wrong with his Mom. Harish didn’t like her company. Harish just hated her. But Prakash successfully managed to hide it. Prakash kept pretending Harish had his own vacation plans. But now day by day Prakash began to feel more odd. Nalini was acting more strange. He didn’t understand how could he tell that to her. But he was sure that one day he needed to tell it.
Nalini was so involved in her work that she totally forgot all her negative thoughts. She was no longer concerned about anything else. When she started to work everything became perfect to her. She didn’t care about her family. Sometimes she felt that she didn’t need to leave work but she needed to leave family. But this business belonged to her husband Prakash so she was stuck with him forever. Nalini felt so upset. Sometimes she just wished only if she could get rid of Prakash. She suddenly began to feel scared on that thought. She knew that Prakash already had another woman & her daughter. He didn’t need Nalini at all. But then she sensed that she was earning a lot for him. She was feeling so upset. She didn’t understand why she married to this man. She was not happy with him. She knew that she married him since he seemed to be okay with her habit. She used to talk with herself. It was odd but it was normal habit. Some people had it. She knew that she was totally normal. She knew that only Prakash was ready to adjust. She remembered very well when she first began dating. She selected one wonderful boy. He was properly educated. He was looking so smart & handsome. She adored him. She was feeling so happy when he took interest in her. She didn’t understand what she supposed to do. But her friends guided her. Even her Mom was supportive. She dressed in perfect way. She began to plan all with positive thoughts. She was hoping for unique life. But then one day that boy called her. That boy told her “ You are too odd!” She felt so confused. She didn’t understand what was wrong. He said “ I saw you on that day in Balcony. You were alone but you were talking to someone.” She laughed. She said “ This is my habit since childhood. I just imagine someone & started talking.” “ Do you sense that it is madness?!” She was so angry. She didn’t understand what was her exact feelings. She just knew one thing. She lost one boyfriend due to her this habit. She kept talking in air for hours after it. She knew that her habit was increased but her heart was so broken. She kept crying for hours. Then she also started calling that boy again. She kept feeling nervous. She wanted him back. She felt so sad. She didn’t understand how could she get him back. But her parents introduced her to Prakash on that point. Her Mom sat with her on bed. Her Mom spoke “ Honey I know your heart is broken. But you need to get over it. You need to find someone else.” “ But Mom I love him..” “ He didn’t like you. You met Prakash. He knew all about you & he is ready to marry,” “ About me?” “ Her Mom didn’t say anything then her Mom said “ Your habit to talk to yourself.” She shivered with fear. She suddenly began to sense that she needed to marry soon. She nodded. Then she started dating Prakash. Prakash kept smiling & joking on her every trouble. Soon they got married. Their life was perfect until Harish didn’t went to hostel. She was now so irritated. She didn’t feel that she now talked with herself. She smiled to herself & decided to search for number of her old boyfriend. She needed to know what happened to him. She wanted to see him regretting. She wanted to see him crying for rejecting her. She smiled with those thoughts. She felt so restless. She didn’t understand why she wanted to meet her old boyfriend again. But if she wanted to then she would do it. She began to think ways to contact him. She was doing her work perfectly entire time. She did all her job in such way that all felt that she was doing her job in Company perfectly. All clients were smiling happy. They received orders. She offered discounts. She did all so well that no one felt anything wrong. Prakash kept holding her hand & smiling towards her. She didn’t understand why did she needed to pretend. But still she kept going on. She needed to manage all. She was not concerned who was by her side. When it all was over, she sat peacefully on chair. She wanted to relax. She needed something to drink. She began to choose out of her bar. Since long time she was drinking all types of drinks as per her choice. She was addicted but she knew that Prakash didn’t dare to object. Prakash always kept just nodding. But today Prakash looked little tense. Prakash was scared by her behaviour. Slowly Prakash asked “ What happened? Why you look so upset?” He went near her but she immediately brushed away his hand. She didn’t like him anymore. Nalini “ I knew that you have one affair!” Prakash was shocked. Prakash started to look so angry. His entire face was looking different due to anger. It managed to scare her too. She said slowly “ I saw you with your daughter on that day!” Prakash screamed angrily “ My daughter?! Are you started to hallucinate too?” She was so shocked. Prakash was so angry. He began to talk without thinking. “ Do you sense your madness managed to destroy our life so much? Our son Harish didn’t want to stay with us since you keep talking to imaginary friends! Now you even started seeing imaginary scenes. It seem as if you are playing some role in movie. You want to cry & get sympathy as wife who got cheated by husband & you are doing all just to fulfil that purpose! Your madness is increasing daily. One day you will break our entire family due to it.” She was so angry. She knew that she saw all & he was using her habit of talking to herself as weapon against her. She said peacefully that line which she wanted to say for long time “ Then let’s take divorce but I want partnership in business..” Prakash “ You can take entire business. I don’t need it. I just need home. Let’s start staying separately soon.” “ Let’s start immediately. I will go to hotel & soon I will book one house for me. It will be just for me.” Nalini smiled happily. She finally managed to get her freedom. She would decide whom she wanted to marry or she wanted to stay single in remaining life. She kept laughing.
Prakash was not happy but he knew that he didn’t have much option. Nalini’s madness was increasing day by day. Prakash didn’t understand how to handle it. Sometimes he felt that he needed to take her to psychiatrist but he couldn’t. She was not ready. He knew after this he would just have his house but he didn’t care. He had enough in banks to live his life. But then he thought about Harish. He didn’t thought what would happen to Harish. He needed to call Nalini for it. He didn’t that first he would arrange papers of Divorce but on that point his door bell rang. He opened door. He showed to receive Divorce papers. He nodded. He took them. He began to read but then his mobile rang. It was call from Nalini. “ I don’t want you to waste money on lawyer. It’s with consent so I will pay for both lawyers.” “ & what about Harish?” “ What about him? He will stay with me. Come on you are now without income you can hardly manage his expenses.” Prakash felt relieved. Prakash knew that Nalini was telling true. Prakash said “ Fine. So you will tell it to Harish..” then he took some pause & said “ Now that we are on separation is it okay if I go somewhere on vacation?” “ No problem if you are not taking Harish with you..” he laughed nervously. This never crossed his mind. “ Don’t worry I am not planning to kidnap our son. He will stay with you.” “ Great. I will arrange Court date next month since I don’t feel it’s so easy to get one & we are not in hurry.” “Okay.” Then he just packed all his clothes for vacation. He was feeling so nice. He booked one car. He decided to go on long drive. He needed break & he planned to take it. He was so happy. He began to pack all colourful dresses he wanted to wear for long time. Nalini never permitted him to act as per his wish. He always needed to obey her. He was adjusting with her madness but soon he became her slave. She kept ordering & he kept obeying her since he wanted her to remain peaceful. She was not so happy with situation & he kept telling himself that he was happy. Today he packed all. He didn’t want to waste too much money so he selected to hire a car & go in old cottage once belonged to his family. He knew that it would be damaged now. He needed to spend money & recreate it. He decided to go there. He waited for hired car when it came he told address. He sat peacefully in his car. He knew that he needed peace for sometime. Driver soon started talking about his old cottage. He sensed that all felt that he wasted his property. He slowly told Driver “ Actually I am owner but my wife never want me to do anything here so I never came.” “ What your wife wanted to waste this property? Is she out of mind?” Prakash took deep breath that Driver immediately apologised “ Sorry Sir. I don’t mean it this way..” Prakash said it loudly “ She is. She keeps talking to herself. I tried hard to adjust with all.” Prakash added “ Finally she decided to divorce me & I took breath of relief.” “ But why you didn’t divorce her before?” Prakash was so confused. He never asked this question to himself before. He knew cause. “ I promised my family & her family that I will adjust all. But now she decided to get divorce it was over.” Driver nodded. Then they shifted to subject of house repairing. During that drive he managed to make many arrangements for repairing of his house on mobile. He felt so nice. He knew that he could manage all. He finally reached to that cottage. He felt so nice. His many old memories were attached to it. He spent lot of time here. He was so sure about it. He soon went inside & suddenly his cottage became everything to him. He kept working whole time there. He totally forgot all. Nalini shifted in hotel. Then she called her parents. She told all them. Her Mom was so angry. Her Mom “ Are you out of your mind? You are going to let him stay with that second woman as wife? Do you understand that daughter would get all rights that Harish had! He will live happily with her.” Suddenly she began to feel she did all wrong. Nalini “ But I can get different boyfriend..” “ Nalini if you are after your last boyfriend it’s not possible. He is father of two kids & twice married. He just gave anniversary party of second successful marriage. He married to some famous actress. He is living with her. Every one says he is under her thumb. You don’t have any chance. You need to stick with Prakash.” Suddenly Nalini started to feel so sick. She knew that Prakash wanted her to go to Psychiatrist. She didn’t want it. She took deep breath & said “ But I don’t want to go back to Prakash! I will stay single.” Her Mom said nothing. In her heart her Mom understood that Prakash wanted one visit to Psychiatrist. Her Mom couldn’t deny it. Her Mom knew that she couldn’t escape that. But Nalini was just not ready. Nalini “ Don’t worry I am okay.” Then Nalini called Harish. Harish didn’t say anything for long time. After sometime Harish said peacefully “ Mom I don’t want to stay with you. I am boy so I prefer man so I want to stay with Dad.” She didn’t say anything. She knew that it was logical & she didn’t want his responsibility too. She said “ It’s okay. I will have your custody you can stay wherever you want.” Harish said “ Thanks” happily. Then she went ahead with Divorce procedure. Her house was empty but she was comfortable in it. She knew that she needed Psychiatrist but she was so scared. Then she suddenly dialled Prakash’s number. She said “ Harish want his father. I feel we might try to patch let’s go to counsellor.” Then she suddenly heard loud voice. She asked “ Where are you?” “ In my old cottage. I am doing repairing. I am not interested in you anymore. I don’t want to stay with you.” Prakash said it & he started laughing. “ I am so happy just go away.” He disconnected call. She was so shocked. Her entire life was so confused. Finally she decided to talk with Lawyer. When she told situation Lawyer said “ Madam you are getting everything & your husband isn’t interested in patch up so why you want to drag it?” She felt so confused. Then she said “ Can you suggest some psychiatrist?” “ Surely.” Lawyer suggested one. She took number then she called for appointment. She wanted to get rid of talking to herself habit. After some days she went there. Psychiatrist listened to her for hours. Then finally Psychiatrist said “ I can’t deny you have mental issues. Talking to yourself isn’t general habit. But we can handle it. Did you ever saw your husband like that before?” “ No. Just once.” “ Then it’s just mistake. I feel you are not in love with Prakash. You married to him just to hide your problems.” She listened to Psychiatrist for long time. Slowly she sensed that she needed to handle this habit more than anything. She kept working & taking treatment. After sometime Divorce procedure began. She didn’t feel anger towards Prakash. But she sensed that they were no longer in love. They took Divorce. Harish was permitted to live with any parent as per his choice. She kept working in Company while Prakash took some land & settled in that cottage. Both began their life peacefully. She was happy in it. She was no longer talking to herself. She began to find new ways to express herself. She could write, paint or sing. Slowly after sometime her psychiatrist’s treatment stopped. Harish kept staying with both parents. Everything was great. They no longer disliked each other. Their family was happy this way. At that time neither Nalini nor Prakash were interested in remarrying. They needed time to get over this. But they were happy with their life.
The End
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