Story of a scar
Sandip was smiling so happily in that photo. Nisha was observing it. Sandip used to be like that always laughing & admiring all. He never took anything to heart. Even when someone used to taunt him. She used to get angry but Sandip laughed. Actually Sandip had one big scar on his face. It was there since childhood. So everywhere he went they just began by asking about scar. She didn’t understand why they needed to ask about scar. He was handsome boy. But according to them he was not handsome. His scar managed to make him ugly in their eyes. She alway remembered how did he used to sit alone on his bench while other kids used to play on ground. She went in classroom & asked him once nicely “ What happened? Why you are sitting alone?” He gave big smile & said “ My ankle is paining.” He showed towards his leg. Then he pointed towards one boy who was laughing & playing “ That is my best friend Ramesh. Ramesh was sitting here with me. But then I told him that he didn’t need to waste time. After all he needed to play. He is planning to join team.” He said happily. But she could see pain in his fake happiness. She looked out towards Ramesh. She began to sense that Ramesh was not such good friend. But then she felt that she was thinking like selfish Mom. Ramesh was not Doctor. Ramesh couldn’t cure Sandip. Ramesh must had sat for sometime with Sandip then he had went to play game. Then she asked “ But Sandip you were planning to join team too? Didn’t you?” Sandip suddenly looked very sad. “ I can’t.” “ Why?” “ Actually when I fall sick I missed some practices so I can’t catch up.” She knew that he was sick with normal cold for little time. They could have helped him. She asked him “ Did Ramesh try to teach you?” He gave her angry look & said “ But I am not interested. Mom why did he do that for me? He didn’t want to waste his time in which he supposed to study if he get less marks in exams, his parents will get angry & all will blame me.” Then he looked away & controlled his feelings. He smiled & said “ Mom you are my Mom so you love me but other people don’t love me like that. He is best friend but I need to understand his troubles too! I can’t demand that he must forget all & help me!” She nodded. “ Any way you were getting so tired by it.” Sandip smiled happily when she said this. She sensed that she was on right track. She continued “ The way you were looking so tired & even depressed by all this. I wanted to you to stop anyway.” Sandip jumped with joy. “ So I did great by deciding to quit it.” She nodded. It was just game & it was not that important. But she didn’t sense that it was start. After that she slowly sensed that Sandip always sat alone in class while all boys went to play in playground. She began to sense that many of them were not in team. He was sitting alone since he was not interested in going out or they didn’t treat him like one of them. She didn’t understand why. She smiled & accepted it. After all Sandip was happy with books. He kept saying that Ramesh was perfect friend. Then Sandip began to grow up. He started to become handsome man. He had that scar. But still he looked handsome. Nisha saw many girls were observing him. She knew that he needed to just earn good money then he would be surrounded by proposals. She knew that he was shy. She needed to find someone & manage to arrange it. She was hoping so many things. Then one day Sandip came from school. His face was all hurt. She started to use first aid. He didn’t say anything. She sensed that with blade someone scratched his face. She could see it was specifically around in his scar. She started to began to doubt. She began to think someone attacked him since he had scar. She asked him “ What happened?” He smiled & said “ I was trying to shave & it all gone wrong. I might sure bandaid on this spot.” She nodded. So he used bandaid. She thought that it would stop after sometime but he kept using it. Finally one day she asked “ Why you are keeping that bandaid like that?” He gave nervous smile. “ Actually my wound is not healed.” “ What? Let me check.” She removed bandaid. There was not any wound. But he began to scream on her. “ Mom what’s wrong with you? I am grown up now. I don’t need someone to keep watching me like that. I need this bandaid.” He put another bandaid. After this he started insisting on seeing Doctors. He wanted to remove scar. She tried to convince him that it was not needed but he insisted. Then he managed to convince his Dad. They started visiting Doctors. They found a plastic surgery which could do. Money was not dispute for them. They kept spending it like without second thought. She knew that they had money. But she didn’t like this idea. After first try they managed to reduce it. Soon that scar was gone but with it her son vanished too. He was not anymore that same Sandip. He didn’t want to join football team any more. He wanted to become some one great. In fact he started to feel that he was someone great. He began to plan things to become centre of attraction everywhere. She could see that he was going in wrong way. He was increasing arguments between people just because he wanted to look great before world. She tried to talk but he had full support of his father. She began to sense that he was no longer her son. He was so different. She still remembered that boy who was sitting in classroom alone. He was so kind & nice. He was so funny. She kept watching his photo for hours. She didn’t feel it was odd. Since now Sandip was not staying with her. He managed to buy a flat as soon as he went in college. He convinced his Dad that he needed to stay near college. He didn’t manage good marks to get admission in nearby college. He was so happy when he managed to get that flat. Now she kept hearing about his good progress. She nodded. She was happy with just his old photo. It was perfect for her. She wanted to just in past. For Sandip it was worst part of his life for her it was best part. She never said it. She was wise to understand that she must not admire that scar.
Sandip was getting so irritated. His modelling career was nice. He was earning good. He had full privacy. He had whatever he wanted but still he kept feeling sad. He kept watching mirror for hours. He felt as if that scar would appear on any moment on his face. He felt still scared of that scar. His Mom never understood his feelings about it. He always pretended that it was okay but it was not. His scar was worst thing of his life. He had disliked about it. It was so frustrating. His Mom was always in love with that scar. He didn’t understand why. His Mom couldn’t forget that scar. He was attached to his Mom in childhood. He felt same affection in teenage too. But he wanted normal life. That scar was big trouble. Wherever he went people just kept looking towards him. He still remembered when he went to play in playground how did kids used to talk about him. They used to call him “ Kid with scar.” No one used to remember his name. They all were just concerned about his scar. They were always kept talking with him just about his scar. He was so irritated that slowly he stopped practising. His entire game was damaged due to lack of practice. He had one best friend but Ramesh was not useful at all. When it came to helping or supporting him, Ramesh just kept nodding to whatever other boys say. They all kept looking at his scar. He looked towards his face. Now he was earning such a nicely by his face. It was so important. Once he got taunted due to face now he was getting appreciated for it. He observed his marks of examination. He began to sense that he was not going to get degree. But anyway he didn’t care that much about it. He was earning so much by those modelling projects. But he knew that his Mom would surely do issue when he told her that he wanted to quit college. But he didn’t have much option. He took mobile & called his Mom. When Nisha saw that Sandip was calling she immediately started to get tense. She knew that Sandip always wanted to tell her something which she didn’t want to hear. But she knew that she didn’t have much options so she took call. Sandip “ Mom will you tell Dad that I am not planning to continue with my degree education?” “What?” She began to feel as if her entire world was shaking. She didn’t understand what was happening to her. She was feeling so sick. She took hold of pillar to steady herself. She needed to calm down. It was so stressful for her. She knew that he wouldn’t listen. She couldn’t imagine her son who didn't take education. She started crying. She wanted him to at least graduated. She knew that he was not interested in education. But still she thought that he would at least complete graduation. He started to get angry. “ Fine I will tell Dad. No need to create so much drama. Mom I am earning a lot. I want to do modelling. I don’t want to keep getting education..” he kept talking. She said nothing. He was rich than her. She never managed to earn so she couldn’t say anything. She just disconnected call. She cried loudly. When her husband came back, he said calmly “ He decided by himself. You can’t decide for him. Let him go in his way.” She nodded. But she couldn’t able to accept it. She began to feel so depressed. Her life started to look meaningless. Her son Sandip was not ready to get education. He was such nice boy in school. He was such wonderful with that scar. She began to wish only if that scar could reappear. Once she even thought that she might just hurt him on cheek to get scar. She wanted to get that scar back. She began to feel that she would hurt him one day. She didn’t able to eat anything. It was so upsetting. Her thoughts kept going back to just one point. Her son was not going to come back. Sandip came to meet her he was no longer her son. She kept crying day & night. She started to feel so sad. She didn’t understand why did he decided to act like this. She didn’t want to show it but it was visible on her face. Her husband started to discuss. Her husband began to tell her that she needed to get over. Her son was working now. He was earning & he was getting fame. But it was not the way she wanted. It was all wrong in her eyes. While world was admiring his actions, she was feeling that he was going in wrong way. She began to reduce her foods. She knew that it was not healthy but she was always overweight so she felt that reduction of few kilos would effect that much. She started to feel restless & upset even during nights. She began to go in hall & started watching TV for entire night. She didn’t feel that it was frustrating. She felt that it was okay. She wanted to feel relaxed. She wanted to feel relief from soul. She was so sad by all. Her husband was watching all. He was getting tense slowly. He didn’t understand how could he explain her. Sandip was not interested in education. They couldn’t control his future. They needed to give freedom to him. Nisha’s husband was not so much modern too. At beginning he thought that it was issue of sometime. But now it was increasing. She was looking so sick. Nisha’s husband Tushar began to sense that he needed to interfere. He needed to do something. It was so irritating. Tushar kept telling her to relax. But it was not working. Nisha was not sleeping in bedroom for days. He needed to work but he also needed to relax. While due to Nisha’s attitude his life started to get complicated. One day finally he decided that he had enough. He took another flat & he packed his clothes. He went in hall where Nisha was sitting. He told her “ I am feeling so depressed by your attitude. I don’t think anything worth saving was remaining in this relationship. It is so frustrating.” He thought that she would argue or get upset. But she looked towards him with sad eyes & nodded. It seemed as if she wanted to tell same thing to him. He felt so angry. He just went out of house. He decided that he needed to get divorce. He needed to begin his life once again. He didn’t want to hurt her but it was clear that nothing was remaining in their relationship.
Nisha saw that Tushar went away angrily. She wanted to say something positive to stop him. But she knew that it was not true. Their relationship was not worth saving. He deserved chance to start his life again. She knew that at this age people might consider it odd if they got divorced but still if he wanted it then she would give it to him. He had already given enough money to her. She could survive easily with it. She kept looking around house. Suddenly she began to feel strange impulse to change it. She began to throw away all interior. She didn’t want those memories. She wanted to forget them all. She felt that by throwing each object. She was throwing her memories. She managed to remove all. But then finally she reached to photo of Sandip. That photo which had scar on face. She remembered those happy days. In those days Nisha & Tushar were love birds. Their argument started when Sandip demanded plastic surgery. Sandip wanted to look great & it managed to bring trouble in her life. Step by step she started to avoid Tushar. She began to blame him for supporting Sandip. She knew that Sandip was not ready to give up his demand but she felt that he might be handled in little less cooperative way. Tushar agreed to willingly to spend all money on it. She wanted to tell it to other but she knew that no one would understand her feelings. They all felt that removal of that scar was essential. It was not! According to her it was identity of her son Sandip. Now Sandip was without identity so he was wandering around without direction. She kept that picture but she changed entire interior. She started to cook food for herself but she started to feel so restless. She began to get breathless. She felt that she needed to think peacefully about everything. She needed to get rest & changed her thought in positive way. She tried hard but it was not working. She couldn’t able to breathe for sometime properly then slowly it all became normal again. She started to feel normal. She began to sense that she was okay now. She started to act normally. She began to do all her work. She felt that it was single occurrence so she began to ignore it. She thought that it wouldn’t return. On that day it didn’t came back. But next day she once again got restless. She decided to control it but she couldn’t. It began to get so hard to breathe but it happened just for few moments. She wanted to feel relaxed but she couldn’t feel it. Then after sometime she was normal again. It kept happening for sometime but she didn’t want to visit Doctor. One day her Mom called her since she was sick. She went in her parent’s home to take care of her Mom. Her Mom was living alone. Her brother was settled in other town. Her Mom didn’t want to shift. She went there & she knew that she needed to tell her Mom about her divorce plan too. Tushar had not send papers but she felt that soon he would send them. Once agin she got breathless. She tried to calm down. She didn’t want it happen before Mom. She tried to talk to Mom but her Mom called Tushar before she could stop. She was so frustrated. She tried to calm down soon but finally it calmed down by itself. She didn’t understand what was timing & what was logic behind it. She sensed one thing that she didn’t need Tushar to come there at this point. As her breath relaxed she tried to call Tushar. She told him “ I am fine.” Tushar just said “ I am still your husband I am bringing Doctor with me.” She was so upset. She even began to scream on Mom. Finally Mom’s nurse told her to go out of room. She ran out of house. She didn’t understand where she supposed to go. She returned to her house. Soon her doorbell rang. She didn’t open. But she totally forgot Tushar had keys. Tushar came in with Doctor. Doctor looked shocked after seeing her. She tried to calm down but it was not working. She was feeling so scared. Doctor slowly said “ I think this is Anxiety attack due to mental troubles. This is not physical sickness. Still I give you tests to make & this is number of Psychiatrist.” Tushar nodded. Without second thought Tushar took appointment of Psychiatrist. Afterwards he arranged for her tests too. Tushar once again shifted with her. He started staying with her. He tried to create normal atmosphere but it was not working. She was not feeling normal then finally time of her appointment came. By then all her test reports already came. According to Doctor she was weak due to lack of proper eating. She was not eating proper due to lack of hunger which was sign of depression. She needed Psychiatrist which she knew one thing that she must go there. She was not having much hope of getting cure but still she wanted to try it. She needed to convince Tushar to go back to his flat. She didn’t want to drag him. When she started discussing with Psychiatrist, she didn’t tell all before Tushar. Psychiatrist smiled nicely & told Tushar “ You need to go out.” He looked confused then he nodded. He went out. After he went Psychiatrist told her “ Now tell everything & remember one thing I will tell no one. It is rule.” She nodded. Then she told him all. She began to feel more sad. She started to cry. He let her cry. Then he said that was enough for that day. Some medicines were given to her. At beginning she felt little relaxed & little bit sleepy. Tushar started to stay with her. She was no longer sure that she wanted him out of her life. Slowly Psychiatrist convinced her that Tushar did right thing. Sandip had different choices. He wanted to save their marriage so he permitted Sandip to do whatever he wanted. Psychiatrist convinced her that Sandip did what he want. She needed to ignore him & went ahead with her life. At beginning it was impossible. Then slowly she began to do it. She replaced photos of Sandip with pictures of their when they were just married one day. Tushar looked so thrilled when he saw it. Then they went out to movie like old times. Soon she began to live life normally. She didn’t want to connect that much with Sandip. She made that clear to Tushar. Sandip also avoided her. So she began her life nicely without depression & without including her son in it. She didn’t want that scar to appear now since she no longer cared about that boy who had different concept of life which didn’t match with her. She didn’t hate him but she didn’t like him too. He was unknown person to her. She never watched his program or movies. Whenever people started talking about him she spoke minimum then she managed to make excuse & went away. Luckily Sandip changed his name & many didn’t recognise him due to vanishing of scar & plastic surgery so she didn’t face much trouble to avoid him. Tushar went to meet him but she never went. Her life was normal & happy with this adjustment.
The End
No comments:
Post a Comment