Crying for someone else
That day was so wonderful every one was enjoying party. She was sitting all alone in dark corner. She had her doll in her hand when she sensed that touch. Someone was coming towards her. In that darkness she saw nothing but that shadow. She was so scared. She sensed that this fellow was coming towards her. She began to shiver. She knew that this type of people had evil intention. She saw many such episodes on TV. She shivered. She began to sense that he was going to grab her. She was so scared. She stood up. She started to run towards her parents but he grabbed her. She began to cry. She started to sense fear and pain. She screamed loudly. She woke up in her bed. She sensed touch and she pushed that man away in full force. That man screamed. Soon she saw that man ran in corner. She sensed that he was searching for weapon. She also started searching for it. Then suddenly room lit up with lights. She sensed that man who was near her was no one but her husband Pradip. Pradip was wounded thanks to her. Pradip "What is wrong with you? Why did something like that kept happening to you in light?!" She felt so helpless. She didn't understand why did this happening? Rita was not planning to tell him her dream. She was so embarrassed by it. She kept seeing it again and again. She didn't understand why. It seemed so real like her memory. She shivered at thought of it. She didn't tell it to anyone. They would surely assume wrong thing. She was so scared that if something like that came out her husband might left her. He was so.. she didn't know how to describe it. But if this had happened in her past he would want her out of his life. She was sure about it. So she kept shivering and then she lied " It is nightmare of that boat accident again." He looked concerned. She lied to him in beginning and kept it same way. She wanted to hide all. She still remembered how good her story was. She told him " One day I went with my friends to her farm house as kid. You enjoying it.. but honestly I don't like it that much I prefer staying at home or going out with family." Pradip smiled. He loved her this opinion. He always wanted life partner who preferred family than friends. He didn't keep friend circle. He even avoided family get-together. He always preferred privacy. He liked things better when it was just two of them. He didn't even want his parents to come. His Mom was special. But his Dad was kind of pushy. Actually she didn't like his Dad much. She felt scared of him. His Dad was so aggressive and arrogant. She was so scared at beginning when they started living as joint family. His Dad always started arguing with someone. She used to feel so scared. She felt that they might be just pretending to give them new house. Her many friends claimed this. At beginning they were told that they would get nice different flat but finally they landed in small home with big joint family. Most of them were complaining about it. They wanted their independent life. But her best friend was happy with this arrangement. Her mother-in-law was nice lady. She didn't want to move out. She was so confused when they told her that for few days after marriage she needed to stay with her in-laws. Her all friends insisted that she needed to argue. She liked Pradip. They were dating and he seemed very nice. They were telling soon flat would be available. Soon she sensed that not flat but a mini bangalow. She knew that it was possible that they might let them shift or they might object but she knew that they owned it. Her best friend just told her one thing. " If you like that boy don't think go for it." She said yes. For some time after marriage they stayed. But soon Pradip himself told her that he wanted to shift. They got this house which was full of privacy. She was so lucky that when she was staying in joint family she didn't had that nightmare. But she had it once. It was their last day. Pradip's Dad got upset. He came in room and started abusing. Pradip got angry too. Pradip also began to answer him in abusive way. Dad said " You have become slave of this vamp. Remember one thing she is mad good for nothing." On that point she needed to give answer so she lied. She created one story she told him that once she went on picnic in friend's farmhouse. She was not happy at all. She had her best friend as only support but even her best friend was upset. They both felt that this decision of coming to farmhouse was wrong. They were invited for marriage alcohol was served. Every one started to act differently after getting drunk. It was scaring her specially. She decided to keep quiet and sit in corner. Then she began to describe party. It was perfect party description just like one she saw in dream. People were laughing enjoying. No one cared for her. On this point Pradip immediately agreed with her. Pradip " When people get drunk they always lost sense. I hate drinking. But in my family all drank. Mom didn't get drunk as per her view. But I feel it's her view. I always feel that she was drunk after drinking her wine which was not alcohol according to her." Pradip made strange face as if some worst memory of drunk Mom came in his mind. She was happy that he agreed with her. Then she continued. She told how alone she was and on that point when she saw someone coming instead of telling him about that man. She changed story. She told him that it was her old boat man of her grandfather's age. " He was so kind and loving. He was so nice. He told me to go for boating." On this point she needed to cry and she managed too. She felt so sad. She told him " He suggested to go for boating. Water was so peaceful!" Pradip looked nervous. Suddenly without warning he added. " Did your boat drown?" She nodded. She added "He died before me! He gave lifejacket to me. He properly tied it. I kept floating while he was drown." She felt so sad. She knew that she was lying to her husband but she didn't have much option. Pradip showed sympathy to her. He supported her. He stood with her. She was so lucky to have him. But she was scared that one day he might get bored. She had her worst days like today.
Pradip was so shocked. He never thought that Rita would start having fits like this. That night he was attacked by her. He didn't understand what she was trying to do. He felt that she punched him. If in her dream she was trying to save herself from drowning instead of holding his hand why she punched him. Then he understood that she might be trying to swim on bed. Any way one thing was clear that it was getting risky day by day. He didn't like the way her problem was increasing. It was so frustrating. He began to sense that she needed Doctor but he was not sure how did she would take it. He was hurt. He watched himself in mirror. He saw his face was hurt. There was clear marks and he knew that now people in office would ask. He was so upset. He looked towards Rita. He thought that she would go and at least fetched something like medicine or ice. But she didn't do anything. She kept watching him as if she was expecting someone else. He screamed " I hurt so much." Then she came to her senses and she ran in kitchen. Rita was happy to go out. She was still half awake. She was shivering so much. She didn't understand meaning of this dream. She had wonderful life. She knew that no one had touched her. But then she shivered. She began to doubt her memory. She started to think what if there was memory loss due to trauma. But she didn't understand. She didn't remember at all. Still she remembered sometimes she read stories on TV about such truamas. It was so complicated. She knew that if such thing had happened her parents would surely hide it. But when? She didn't even remember going anywhere alone without her parents. It was so strange. Her parents were overprotective so they never permitted such outing. She began to remind herself since when she began to have this dreams. It was not after marriage. She even had them before marriage but they totally stopped when she started going out with Pradip they totally stopped. Her Mom smiled and pointed it out. Mom said " I was telling you that these things happened due to fear of marriage." She nodded. She thought that it would stop. She felt so sure that everything was perfect. She began to move ahead but then on that day they started again. They didn't come every day. They didn't have fixed time. Sometimes they came daily sometimes once in Month. She didn't understand logic in them. She knew just one thing that she couldn't find any thing to instigate them. She just sensed one thing that her parents might be lying. She didn't understand how could she handle it. She wanted to hide it. She knew that she didn't want to lose Pradip but if she started to act mad like this then she was going to lose him anyway. She didn't understand what was wrong with her. She couldn't even remember why she was so scared. She decided to discuss with Mom. She didn't have any option. She was so much lost in thoughts then she didn't sense that she kept refrigerator open and didn't even took out ice. Pradip finally came in kitchen. He was so upset. He didn't understand what was wrong with her. She seemed so healthy and perfect. But now at this moment she seemed pale like some ghost. She didn't seem to sense anything. He was planning to scream on her. But after looking at her strange face he skipped idea. Something was totally wrong with her. He came near her and took out ice. He began to take it out but she didn't sense it. She was lost in her world. She didn't sense his presence. It was so strange. He was feeling so upset. He didn't understand where her mind was. She was not looking in place. She seemed like totally lost in her world. He touched her shoulder and she came back in senses. She immediately started taking out ice. But he stopped her. " I have taken it out. Just go and get first aid box. " She nodded and ran. He knew that he was bleeding but it was nothing. He was more concerned about her. He knew that his would be cured soon. But she was showing bigger problem. She was totally lost in her nightmare. She didn't understand what was going around. He saw now she came running with first aid box. She started to apply ice and medicine on his wound. She was crying. He knew that something was wrong with her. He couldn't blame her. He knew that she had seen death in her young age. It was having effect on her. She was so confused due to it. He just wished that her parents had taken her to psychiatrist on that point but now he needed to do it. He smiled slowly and asked her sweetly " Don't you feel you need to do something about these nightmares?!" She nodded & said " Do you want me to sleep in different room?" He was so shocked. " Are you planning to divorce me?" He asked angrily. She started crying. " I don't mean that I was just too scared. I mean I hurt you so much?!" " It's okay. Sometimes such a things happen. On that point we need to visit Doctor. It is not something unusual. My friend's wife also had this problem and she visited Psychiatrist and in few days it vanish." He did gesture like magician. He wanted her to relax. She was looking so tense. He loved her so much. He knew that he hated social functions and parties. She didn't hate them. She even enjoyed them sometimes. But she adjusted. She was not fond of parties but she loved to go in parties which were given by her cousins or parents. But he didn't want even to go to those parties. He avoided them. But she never complaint. She went alone with smile and gave perfect excuses for him. She was so nice & so perfect. He couldn't lose her. He knew that he needed to find way to convince her & he would. He smiled & said " Come on!" She couldn't say no to him when he smiled like that. She nodded without sensing that she was falling in trap. He smiled and stood up. He said " I can sleep with you on bed. Now I will stay alert." She smiled and he took her in bedroom with smile. She slept peacefully in his arms for rest of night. It seemed as if her nightmare was vanished suddenly. All was perfect.
Pradip didn't discuss psychiatrist next morning. He needed to search one. He was so scared that Rita might mention it. But she didn't. She seemed happy & normal. He went in office. She was smiling. She went ahead with her routine. Everything was totally perfect. She was so happy. She was totally sure that her problem was not coming again. She knew that she didn't dream again. That day Pradip went in office. He went there in full confidence to ask someone. But then he suddenly started to feel confuse. No one seemed trustworthy. He didn't understand who could help him. Then he decided to discuss with family Doctor. When he called Doctor & told him everything he just laughed. Doctor " This is not unusual. Just be careful." He smiled too. When he went back all looked normal. He started his life in normal way. Rita was so happy that she didn't dream. She thought that this nightmare was vanished. One day she sensed that she was pregnant. She went to Doctor and confirmed it. She told Pradip on Phone about it when she got report. At beginning he sounded angry that she kept it secret for such long time but then it was forgotten in hope of little baby. Pradip was so happy. Everything seemed so perfect for them. Rita was so excited. But that night she once again dreamt. She was so excited. She was shivering. She began to kick. Pradip was so scared when he woke up her movement. He shivered with fear. She was carrying their baby and she was getting excited like that! It was not healthy for her or for her baby. He kept watching her. He didn't understand how to control her. He didn't feel holding her was wise. Finally he ran in bathroom and threw bucket of water on her. She woke up looking scared. Pradip told her entire thing. She shivered with fear. Rita " I am so scared. Do you think I hurt our baby?" She started to cry. He said " Now don't cry just relax." He sat on bed and told her to sleep on his lap. He started patting on her like her father. She slowly fall asleep. But he sensed one thing that they needed psychiatrist. Next day he called Doctor and told him everything. Doctor didn't say anything for long time then he gave number of Psychiatrist. Before going to psychiatrist Rita decided to trust Pradip. Rita told him entire dream truthfully with tearful eyes. He asked angrily " Did something like that happened with you?" " No. Never!" He didn't believe it. She could tell it by his eyes. She said " You can ask my parents or do inquiries." He nodded. Then he took appointment of psychiatrist and he began to do inquiries. Soon he understood that there was a child abuse case in Rita's branch in school. It was big issue and name of girl was hidden. He was so upset. He began to inquire more. But no one cooperated. Finally one old teacher asked him angrily " Why did you want it?" " Since my pregnant wife is getting nightmares!" He told her every thing. That teacher started laughing. Teacher " Are you out of your mind? Do you feel that girl could continue her education in same school after that incidence? It was impossible for her. She left this school and she left even this town with her family. I don't know where she is or how does she cope up with it but I know one thing. It wasn't your wife. Since as you mentioned she completed tenth in this school and this girl didn't." He was so confused. He didn't understand. Then he began to wait for psychiatrist's opinion. Finally that day came. They went for visit. They told all to psychiatrist. He even explained his investigation. Then he asked " Is it possible that she is imagining incidence happened with someone else?" " Yes it is easily possible. Now tell me. How frequently you dream." She explained that she was uncertain about it. " Do you think something instigate it?" She turned her head negatively. " Doctor she is pregnant and this might effect baby." " Actually it started because at beginning she was scared for herself but with you by her side her fear gone but now she is scared for baby." " But this never happened to her."Psychiatrist " It isn't needful that it must happen with you to face trauma. When it happened with you then trauma will be horrible not simple like your wife's trauma which vanish for many days. She locked that bad memories for long time. Do you know this girl?" " Not so well but we use to attend one drama class and she was such talented girl. She was heroin of every play. I was jealous of her. I was so happy when she left and I replaced her. It was so cruel." She started to cry. Pradip looked scared. Pradip was about to stop her. But Psychiatrist told him to stop. " Let her cry & let me handle it. Don't worry. I will keep watch on her whole time. I will give her my personal mobile number. I will support you until she doesn't give birth to your child. Don't worry. She will be perfect." Pradip smiled due to his reassuring. Rita smiled out of tears and said " But no body is perfect. So our child can't be perfect. Child will have it's fault too." Pradip added " Yes baby will keep crying without reason like Mom." He said it in such childish voice that everyone started laughing. Rita laughed so freely. She never felt so free since she started dreaming. Finally it seemed as if all was going to be okay.
The End
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