Hunger of peaceful mind
Rocky began to work on homework given to him. He started doing it when he heard those screams. It was his Mom again. He knew that today Dad didn't able to make enough money. He didn't understand when did this stop but he knew one thing that it was becoming non-stop. He was so scared and upset about it. He wanted to stop listening to it. Every day his Dad came home. His Dad was working in one small private company where they were paying just half salary and his Dad didn't even bring it home. He kept it somewhere. Actually his Dad kept saying he was saving but Mom wanted some money for household needs. His Mom was spending too much. This line was motto of his Dad. His Dad never bought anything useful for all. He always bought what he wanted. He was very selfish man. Rocky knew that Mom didn't like to argue but sadly she didn't have much options. She needed to argue. Rocky knew that Mom didn't have much option. But he knew that Dad would never understand. Dad didn't want to. He knew that his Dad had another woman. She was not wife but she was not less than wife. In fact she was more than wife. He knew that his Dad was spending lots of money on her. His Mom was upset about it. Once his Mom used to get upset when his Dad used to have affair but now she didn't care. They were concerned just about money. In fact Mom was adjusting with Dad since they didn't have enough money to stay independently. It was worst compromise for their entire life. They didn't understand how could they move ahead. But he always noticed that he was always sensitive about it while his sister didn't care. He noticed Shobha wandering around daily in search of new boys. He knew that it was not wrong since their Mom advised it. According to Mom after what Dad did. They didn't have much chances of getting good proposals. They needed to find some boy by love marriage only. Shobha was trying different dating services but nothing was happening as per her wishes. She kept feeling frustrated. Rocky knew that she needed to get out of this house. He needed to do same thing. But he was still small kid. He couldn't earn money at this small age. He needed to study. He needed to get education and training. Then one day he could finally managed to get nice job. He was not even so sure about job. He heard from many friends in Society that getting job was not easy. Then he needed to start business. But in case of business there was risk of losses. He felt so scared. He wanted to talk with Mom. But she was arguing with his Dad at that moment. She wanted some money from him. She needed it. She was managing entire house and he was giving her nothing. It started every day. She kept asking why did he married to her if he didn't want her. He kept ignoring her. He just kept asking her to reduce expenses. It was too much. His Mom didn't understand why did his Dad started to sense that he didn't want her after birth of two children? It seemed as if they were not that much wanted by anyone. His Mom used to love her children but after cheating by her husband suddenly kids began to feel like burden. In fact she began to feel that they were live proof of her exploitation. She began to think that his husband never wanted her. He just used her. But she didn't understand why. But she was not even interested in those answers anymore. She just wanted money. She was so frustrated. They all knew that he came here just because he wanted to spend sometime here. But Mom didn't want to see him. She just wanted money and she didn't want her husband. But his Dad had different plans. He didn't want to think about their married life. But he couldn't avoid it. He had never seen his Dad's girlfriend and he felt that he was lucky. He tried so hard to solve questions in his textbook. Soon he sensed that he couldn't solve them in that noise. He began to think about ways of escape. He always tried to avoid house when these arguments began. He started to plan a place where he could sit and relax. He began to think about it. He felt so happy. He was planning to visit so many places. He didn't have any proper plan but he knew that he didn't. He just wanted to search hope but it was hard. He knew that he needed to go out. He started to go out with less noise but he knew that he couldn't avoid to telling his Mom. He knew that if he didn't his Mom would be worried. He cared for his Mom. He knew that in her heart she loved him so much. It was just her frustration on his Dad which managed to upset her everytime. She needed to feel happy in her soul but it was not possible when her husband was cheating her. He knew that entire world knew it. When he was small kid, his Mom told him stories of Kings with many wives to convince him that it was normal. She wanted him to show affection towards his Dad. He didn't understand why. He knew that he managed to accept his Dad but he treated him same way as he treated his wife, Rocky's Mom. Even kids of that woman were special. It was so strange. Normally people didn't accept kids out of wedlock. But their case they were accepted. His Dad was throwing money at them. At beginning people talked. Few even took Mom's side but his Dad started earning more and began to get fame all morals were forgotten. His Mom became old wife. People began to say after getting in that higher class clearly he didn't want to keep that wife which belonged to middle or lower middle class. This was shocking for them all. He still remembered very well how much his Mom cried. His sister Shobha was so hyper. Shobha was so angry. " Mom how could he throw away you like that?" Shobha asked this when their grandparents invited this lady to traditional ritual with Mom. They said Mom was invited too. But clearly they wouldn't come when she was invited. They all admired their couple from heart. It was pleasant and wonderful too all. But for them it was worst. His Dad was getting famous day by day due to this new wife. Rocky didn't want it. People were talking about them in positive way. People wanted this couple to get married. They didn't care about his wife. They wanted them out of his Dad's life. His Mom was not ready for it and Rocky was confused.
Rocky slowly went out of his room. He decided to talk with his Mom. He just wanted to go out as soon as possible. He went near door. He didn't want to hear but he could hear clearly. His Mom was screaming loudly " Are you trying to threatened me?" " I am not threatening you. But I feel you don't like me anymore then why we need to drag this? You are interested in me?" " I am not interested in you? You are the one who found other woman!" " So what? You have not found another man but you are not interested in me too.." Rocky sensed that he didn't want to hear more. Rocky interfered loudly " Mom I am going to friend's house." His Mom looked nervous on verge of crying. He knew that Mom was confused between what was wrong and what was right for them. Since Dad became famous they were getting pressured for divorce. People wanted their favourite couple to get married. They all seemed to set one thinking in mind that They were obstacle. Rocky was so confused. Rocky " Mom I am.." Dad " Did you listen what we were discussing? " He was so confused. He didn't want to listen but he couldn't avoid words which fall on his ears. He nodded. " Very wrong." His Dad turned to Mom " Your son doesn't have many discipline. How did he talk and act! He is totally disgrace." Rocky sensed that tears started to appear in his eyes. He didn't understand why did he get blamed. His Mom immediately opened her purse. She took out money and gave it to him. " Go. I can't able to cook anything today. You can purchase from outside." Dad looked towards Rocky. " I feel he is eating enough." Rocky wanted to relax. He wanted to smile and ignore. But he couldn't. He was so hurt. Mom was trying to defend but he just ran away. He knew that he was getting more and more fat day by day. He didn't want to get out of shape. He just wanted relax his heart. He wanted to find peace. He felt that he needed to eat something for it. He knew that it was wrong thought but he felt that way. He didn't understand why did he had strange desire of eating again and again. But once again his Mom stood up by his side. He was so happy to have such loving Mom. Mom " It's okay. He was going to gym so he could eat more." " He will soon start to look like elephant. He is too fat.." Mom didn't say anything. She just came towards him. She gave him money and said " Ignore him. " Rocky nodded. He immediately took money and ran away. He didn't think much. He suddenly began to sense that he was too hungry. He saw his favourite Pizza shop. He knew that it meant plenty of calories but he didn't mind. He decided that he would use them today. He needed to relax his mind. He never went in that Pizza shop alone before. He always invited friends but today he just decided to go. He went inside. He ordered his favourite Pizza and cold drink. Slowly when cheese of that Pizza started to melt in his mouth he began to feel so happy. He started to feel he was in heaven. He smiled happily. He needed to keep eating. He never sensed that it was his basic need. But truthfully he needed it. He felt that he would quit eating junk after sometime. It was so upsetting. He thought that he would eat one pizza. Then he called his friend. His friend Sandip welcomed him. But Rocky sensed that something was wrong. He was not welcomed as once he used to be. He was so confused. He took books and went there. He was shocked when Sandip's Mom told him to relax and sit on easy chair. He didn't sense but he was already breathless. He didn't understand why. After sometime Sandip came. He was full of dirt. He was playing cricket. Rocky was glad that Sandip had already played. Rocky did want to play. Sandip's Mom came in room and asked " Do you want snacks?" Rocky nodded but Sandip denied. Sandip " I am not hungry!" " Come on! Look at yourself. You too slim.." " It's okay Mom." " If you keep on eating so less you will vanish one day." Sandip laughed. Rocky joined him too. Sandip was so fit and slim but he was not proudy. He never taunted Rocky. Then Sandip's Mom gave noddles to Rocky and Sandip. Rocky pulled plate and started eating without second thought. He didn't understand why but he needed just to eat. He felt happy when he ate and Sandip's Mom was happy that he was eating. He smiled and kept eating. He kept eating for long time. Sandip was not eating much. It was so tasty. He needed to eat all. He was so happy that Sandip's Mom never asked anything about his family. He liked her so much. Sandip was lucky to born in this house. Sandip seemed so happy. Rocky " You are so lucky. Your parents care for you." Sandip nodded. Sandip " All that glitter is not gold. My Dad is not so nice. He have his issues." " Like!!" "Alcohol?! Mom is trying hard to control it but nothing is working. He started to drink even in office during lunch hour!" Rocky was shocked. It was not good news but he was happy somewhere in heart. No he was not happy exactly. But he was relaxed since he was not alone in this. He kept feeling so upset for Sandip. Sandip kept sad smile on his face. Sandip " We all have parents with their trouble. We can't solve them. I prefer to ignore them. Try to ignore them." Rocky nodded. Rocky left so sure that he was on right track. He needed to move over it. Rocky started discussing his home work. Soon they got busy. Rocky was so happy. He didn't understand why he cared. He spent hours there happily. He enjoyed doing homework. He knew that Sandip's house was heaven for him. He just wished that he was staying there. He wanted to keep coming in Sandip's house. He was so sure that until college they would keep up their friendship. Sandip would be always his best friend. Rocky smiled and laughed with him. Rocky felt as if he was truly alive when he was with Sandip. He was so happy about it. He kept feeling that his life would get positive side.
That day Rocky came happily in home. He went in his room. Shobha was already in her room. She was chatting with someone. Probability once again she was searching for boy. She didn't find one. It was not easy. Mom kept telling her to show some patience. But Shobha was getting impatient day by day. Rocky was scared that she might marry wrong man and came back again after divorce. He heard about this from his friend whose sister did that. He was telling that she kept crying in strange way every night. His parents alway tried to console her but nothing worked. Rocky didn't want it to happen to his sister Shobha. He didn't want to see her crying. He was not such affectionate towards her. She never showed him that affection which elder sister showed. But still he didn't want more mess in his life. His Dad already managed enough. He didn't want to interfere but he was scared that his life would more mess up if he didn't so he went near Shobha and asked " What happened?" " Well. This life is nothing but darkness Rocky!" Rocky felt so upset. " Rocky our Dad don't want us now so who will take care of us? Tell me." "Mom!" Shobha started laughing in strange way. Rocky was confused. Shobha " Mom is useless. Look at that other woman! She manage to get so much what did Mom got? Nothing!!.." Rocky began to regret talking to her. He wanted to stop conversation. He said " I am hungry!" Shobha gave him shocked look. " I thought Sandip's Mom should have given you enough to eat. I mean she gave in fact too much to eat. I know I should not taunt on your physic but truthfully you are getting over weight. When did you start your diet?" " Let Mom & Dad solve this issue!" Shobha looked confused and upset. Shobha " What does it have connection with your diet? This is your personal problem? If you keep eating like that one day you will get sick. Just go & see yourself in mirror." He felt so sad. He nodded. He went away. He didn't understand what he supposed to do. He planned to discuss his issue with Mom. But when he went in her room, he saw that she was crying. He could see divorce papers before her. He knew that she didn't want it. She threw them away angrily and started screaming against his Dad. He shivered. Once again he went to freeze. He found one piece of cake. He took out plate and started eating. He decided that he would start diet soon. But it was not happening. He needed to study hard for his good marks. He knew that he would manage them if he kept studying daily with same sincerity. He knew that his studies were important than anything else. It was upsetting to him when this argument between his Mom and Dad started and what upset him most when he saw one day that woman with whom Dad was staying telling world that how did his Mom was wrong. She was claiming that she was true love. It was so frustrating. He kept changing channels. He tried to scare himself. He tried to laugh but nothing worked. Face of that woman kept coming before him. How could world support her? She destroyed life of his Mom. He was so upset. He decided that he would stand with his Mom. He kept trying his best. But then one day his teacher asked few things in project. He needed them. He asked. Instead of giving Mom screamed on him. Mom said many things like he was burden and he was not sign of their love. Dad was already with that woman by then. He felt so hurt he cried. Then Shobha asked for something. Mom didn't gave. Shobha called Dad. This woman talked with her. In few days Shobha started going out with this woman daily. Soon she began to treat her like second Mom. One day Shobha announced that she wanted to shift in Dad's house this woman was angel. Rocky shivered. He felt his Mom would screamed. But Mom gave sad smile and nodded. Mom " Any way I don't have money to feed you or give you luxuries. Rocky you can go with her too." Rocky didn't like this idea. Rocky " I can't backstab you like that." Shobha looked frustrated. Shobha " I am not backstabbing. Mom don't have money..this lady will give it when we stay with her. Mom can't manage to brought up us!" Rocky was so confused. Mom patted on his cheek and said " I know you love me but I insist.." Rocky nodded and shifted in his sofa. He was so restless. He didn't want to left his Mom. But he was forced to do it. He needed money. When he entered in new house this woman showered him with love. She gave them all. Shobha managed to get line of good proposals. Every day new gifts were showered on them. All was done for one purpose that was to settle them in that house. Rocky didn't want to. But he was forced to do that. He called Sandip. This time Sandip came in his house but he was not that old Sandip. Sandip told him that he was joining cricket team. He just talked about his game. Soon it became clear that Sandip was not planning to stay indoor like him so he didn't have anyone to discuss his troubles with. He didn't want to irritate his real Mom and step Mom was nice but she didn't understand his troubles. Step Mom tried too hard but she managed nothing. Rocky began to sense that he needed to eat to reduce his tension. He had noone with him except his servants who obeyed him. He kept demanding food and they kept supplying it. He didn't care that much for his weight. His Dad even didn't point it. His Dad wanted him to adjust. His step brother was too naughty while he never interfered with anyone so he was perfect for them. It was so frustrating. He didn't want to be perfect. His step Mom kept calling him before people he supposed to tell world how happy they were with this arrangement. He kept saying but after sometime people started talking about his weight. Then finally his step Mom didn't have much optipn. She needed to adjust his issue of weight gain. Since her friends started talking about it. People began discussing and she couldn't permit it.
Rocky was eating on dinner table. It was his birthday so all were invited including his Mom. His Mom seemed relaxed now. Rocky sensed that divorce did hurt her so much as living with husband who was cheating her. But his Mom also noticed his weight. Mom " Honey your new Mom seemed to give you lots of tasty food. You gain some weight." He nodded. " Mom I am getting fat day by day and I don't understand how to handle it. I want to reduce my weight but it is not happening." His Mom nodded. Before she could say anything. His step Mom came there. She was once again in her extra sweet self. Mom talked nicely too. Soon they all pretended that there was not any argument between them. It was worst thing in his eyes. Rocky knew that they were lying but Shobha was so happy. She was hugging new Mom and their Mom same time. It showed as if they were best friends. Everyone was happy. But Rocky was not. He was so tense. He just told Mom that he was happy with them. He didn't understand how could they pretend that nothing had happened. But slowly Rocky learnt to do it too. He began to forget his Mom. He didn't want to but he started to. His Mom began to reduce her visit. His Mom began her own life which had her career. Everything was changed. But Rocky couldn't change his desire to eat. He kept eating again and again. It was upsetting him. But he couldn't stop it. One day when he was introduced to his new Mom's friend. She looked at him with shock. " My God! Don't you take him to dietician?" New Mom looked tense. This was upsetting for her reputation. Clearly she wanted to look like great Mom. She immediately started taking number of dietician. Then she began to discuss it. Rocky didn't want to quit eating. He was peaceful boy but when it came to eating he couldn't live without it. His Mom took him to dietician. He told him all. Rocky heard it and nodded. But when he started it, soon he sensed that he needed food. He couldn't be live without food. He needed all. He started to get upset. One day worst thing happened with him. He took that limited food and he began to feel uneasy. He finally fainted in college. Everyone was scared. Professor called his parents. They told everything to them. Then they once more went to Doctor. This time hospital did entire body check up and told them that Rocky was over weight. He needed to reduce it. But he didn't faint because of diet. They said that it was mental impact. His parents were shocked. Then they suggested a psychiatrist. That psychiatrist talked with Rocky for hours. Then he told them that Rocky's eating was connected to his mental trouble. It was because of his distrubed childhood. He wanted to stay with his Mom which was not possible. Step by step psychiatrist convinced him. That he could visit his Mom. It was hard at beginning but slowly he started to learn tricks to control his emotions. He didn't needed to run in kitchen. He was so shocked when finally one day he able to follow diet suggested by dietician. He danced with joy. He was not good player but still he began to participate in games for just sake of fun. He sensed that he was healthy now. Most importantly he could handle his troubles peacefully now.
