Finding worst
Varun was planning different things for his holidays. He had planned everything. He wanted everything to be perfect. He laughed even at that thought of perfection. He knew that he never managed to get anything perfect. His wife Meena loved perfection and he tried hard to get it. But he was not perfect and he was happy with his imperfections. He smiled happily as he started to plan. He knew that he needed hire a bus. Now it was practical but still sometimes he felt that keeping different cars was wise. He began to plan all again. Until now everytime Meena planned it but this time she was sick with fever so he decided to help. He was getting so confused while deciding things. He needed to do at least few things so that Meena would need to work less. He started all by taking total responsibility but now he began to think just doing half work would be possible for him. He couldn't do all. He didn't have much experience so he could complete it. Then suddenly Meena entered in room. Her sick face managed to give him sweet smile. It turned her face into most beautiful face of world according to him. He always told her that sickness couldn't destroy her beauty. He smiled and turned towards her. " I did my best!!" She walked slowly towards him. She began to check things he had done. He could see change on her face. She was so angry. She screamed on him " You are useless. Why don't you order just one bus? Don't you have enough common sense to understand how much money will be needed and wasted on this?!!" He was so shocked when she screamed on him like that. She never acted like this. She was always nice to him. He was never practical or dominating but she always liked him. He was totally shocked by this change. He decided that he didn't want to this in wrong way. After all she was sick. He felt that it was happening due to sickness. He told himself that when she would become healthy everything would be fine. He didn't want to say something for which he would be regretted later so he just kept quiet. He decided that she would soon sense her mistake but he was shocked when she kept bombarding him with complaints instead of saying sorry. He kept feeling hurt. She started to tell him how useless his every action was. Meena " Finally you have done nothing but just wasted your time and I need to do all." He was so upset. He had wasted so many hours. He was so sure that she would admire him at least little bit. He nodded and went away. He sat in his room. His life was no longer wonderful as it once used to be. After marriage he was so happy. He thought his problems were over. Meena was so happy with him. Everything was just perfect. But then slowly all troubles started. Meena didn't like his financial status. She was hoping that she would earn more. She began to wait for increase in income. But he never managed to get that success. He was not person of that type who could forget morals to get money. She was not happy about it. Even today he felt so hurt. She was not happy with him. He tried in so many ways to please her. He sat in his room. He kept thinking about those days when they were happy. When his parents were alive everything was different, they had their resources of income. He still remembered those wonderful days when he was use to get respect. He was treated with respect since his father was nice man who always received honour by everyone. Even after his death people used to come to meet his Mom but now they didn't. He still remembered that respect which his Mom earned while Meena did nothing to earn it. She never did anything for anyone. She just kept discussing how did she deserved to be treated. But truthfully he didn't feel that she deserved good treatment. She just talked nicely but she never helped anyone. She was not even ready to help someone if that person was in hospital. She didn't have time to waste on others. She just kept insisting that she must plan those picnics in perfect way. He didn't understand what did she achieved by it. He just wished only if they had kids but she was not even ready for it. She didn't think that they had enough money. She just wanted more money. He didn't understand her greed and he was facing hard time while coping with it. He couldn't become rich. He just sat in room. He began to search for files to do official work. He needed to find something else to do. When he completed his job, he went in kitchen. He took his food. He began to eat peacefully. He felt so alone. But he knew that it was truth of his life. He didn't have anyone with him. He was all alone in life. He finished his food and went back to room. He changed his clothes and went to sleep. He kept watching ceiling. He kept waiting for her when he knew that she would not come. She always kept working late now a days. She wanted money and she was telling him that she could manage source to make it. He couldn't believe it. He knew very well that earning money was not simple. But he was not planning to tell it to her. It would shatter her dreams. He didn't want to break her heart. He just kept waiting for sleep. It was not easy for him to fall asleep. He started to listen to music on mobile and it helped. He started to get involved with those rythems. He began to dream with them. He started to fall asleep. He began to live in that dream which created new hope of peace for his soul. He started to enter in his dreamland. It was so wonderful. In this world Meena was once again same Meena who was just married to him. She had same love in her eyes. She was so nice and sweet. When he came near her, she stopped him and pointed towards one corner where one small kid was hiding. Just by watching face of that kid he could tell he was father of that kid and Meena was mother. It was perfect mixture. He was so happy. He slowly started to surrender himself to that dream. That dream became truth for him. He started to fall asleep. He just loved it when he vanished in his dreamworld. It was so wonderful. He wanted to stay there forever. He wanted to see his dreamworld as something really exist.
Meena was so happy when she finally saw Varun was asleep. She didn't want to chat with him. In fact she didn't even want to talk with him. She hated him from heart. It was not about today. She never liked him. She still remembered that doomed day when her marriage proposal was offered to her. She never wanted to marry him. But her Dad warned her. Dad " Honey a boy is coming for dinner today with his Dad." She started to get strange feeling in her stomach. " Dad I don't want to marry anyone now. " This was not true. She was just interested in marrying that man whom she liked. She want smart and handsome while her Dad was showing boys who were just rich. She was so upset by entire drama. She didn't want to marry any of them. But still she kept meeting them since her Dad insisted. Sometimes she didn't understand what her Dad was trying to do. She felt as if he was trying to sell her at best price. He always kept forcing rich boys since she started choosing her husband. She supposed to date them. She didn't like many out of them. Since most of them were too proudy and she didn't like to be considered inferior. She was proud of her beauty. She was always admired for it. She didn't like when they considered her low. But this time she sensed that her Dad was more serious. Her Dad looked at her with tense expressions. Dad " Actually I don't want to force you but still I don't have much option." She began to so scared. She sensed that they were in some big trouble. She wanted to avoid that matter on that point. She hoped that she would like that boy and everything would turn out to be perfect. She was so upset. Then her Dad continued. Her Dad " Actually during business crisis I needed money and this man gave it to me." " Dad why did you keep borrowing?" " Because you keep spending!!" Dad pointed towards her mobile. " Did you ever sense from where money for such goods come?" She felt so confused. She sensed that she couldn't answer it. She never thought about earning. She took deep breath and asked " So I suppose to say ' yes' to this boy?!!" " Yes..yes.." her Dad said happily. She sensed her Mom joined them and Mom was smiling too. " So you are planning to sell me to this fellow?" Suddenly their face became pale. Mom started crying. Mom " We are not selling you. If you are ready to shift in one bedroom flat and travel by train and bus then we can manage even if you want to say 'no' to this boy." She shivered at this thought. She never spent her life without luxuries. She began to shiver at that thought. She decided on that point. She must date this boy. She managed to convince herself that this boy might be smart and perfect for her. She got ready. She dressed before mirror while dreaming about that boy. She was looking so wonderful in that mirror. Her life was excellent. In her dream she was imagining her perfect husband. Then at dinner time door bell rang. She went out. Varun was there with his family. He was too simple. She never liked such boys. She was shocked. He smiled towards her. She didn't want to smile but there was not much option so she smiled. Slowly her Mom said in her ear " Don't worry. You don't need to marry just date him. We will manage something by then." She felt relieved. She smiled towards him. Then she pretended. She was skilled in this art. She showed off as if she was in love with him. She seemed like such nice and simple girl. Varun immediately started to fall in love with her. They didn't say anything directly but next day Varun called her for date. She was not interested but her Dad said " Just adjust for sometime. We are not giving permanent commitment. You can just date for sometime. Then you can back out." She nodded. After that she started dating Varun. Varun started to come close to her. She didn't hate it. He was nice very considerate. He always fulfilled her all wishes. But she kept thinking that it was not enough. She felt so upset at thought of permanent commitment to him. He was not enough for her. She wanted something more. She needed someone special. He was just ordinary boy whose roses she shouldn't like to even accept but she couldn't reject them on his face out of kindness. She kept showing all her affection out of kindness. She was never in love with him. Even when she was with him, she kept thinking of excuses to return home. But she kept going out with him and soon people began to call them couple. One day finally he proposed her. She asked for time. She didn't say 'yes'. But she didn't say 'No' because she was not ready to become poor. She began to think that his money might solve plenty of their problems. She needed money no doubt about it. She didn't understand what was right and what was wrong. But soon even her relatives started calling him on family functions like her fiancee and it seemed as if they were already fixed to be married by all. She couldn't deny. She was caught in strange trap. She started to plan different things which were not happening. Then one day her Dad said " So what is your plan? Do you want to marry him or not?" She was so shocked. He was saying in a way as if she was truly in love with Varun. " You know very well that I don't want him." " Then we supposed to tell it to him?!! But truthfully we can't able to arrange money so maybe we should just sell this house..and your car.." " No..no I will marry him." Her Dad gave strange smile. She knew that she was caught in strange trap. Her Dad managed to put her in worst position. She couldn't say 'No' to Varun. Finally one day their families fixed their marriage. Varun was so happy. She didn't even smiled but who cared they all wanted it to happen and they kept enjoying themselves. After this she kept hoping that she would fall in love with Varun one day. But it was not happening. She didn't like him. At beginning she used to enjoy at least his company but now she began to find him more irritating. He wanted to have kids and she wanted to get divorce but she couldn't say it. She hoped that he would sense one day and gave her back her freedom.
Varun sensed when she entered in room, he wanted to open his eyes but he didn't. He just kept them close. On that moment he suddenly sensed one strange sensation that he was too sleepy to chat. He decided to go to sleep. Meena was shocked when Varun suddenly sat beside her. She looked at him. Varun was smiling towards her in strange way. She didn't understand his attitude so she just went to sleep. In middle of night she woke by strange voice. She didn't understand what was happening. She went out. She noticed that Varun was cutting woods. She was confused. She didn't understand when he found so much wood. He was cutting it in garden. She was so scared that someone from society might notice it. She began to feel that this was his new hobby. He didn't understand it. But she noticed for two days every day he was going out to cut wood. She ignored it at beginning but now she began to feel tense. She saw watch man coming towards him. Then she sensed that something was wrong. Watchman looked shocked. Then Watchman ran to intercom. She immediately heard phone ring. She didn't want to pick up. But she didn't have option so she picked it up. She relaxed herself and started talking " Hello who is it? " " Madam I am security!!" " What? Why did you call so late? Are you out of your mind?" "No..no Madam something happened to Sir. He is possessed by some ghost or something like that he is saying he is graveyard wood cutter and cutting woods for burning bodies." She was so shocked. She never heard more ridiculous statement. Varun was calling himself Graveyard woodcutter when he never even liked to go near it. " Are you cracking some joke? Do you want to lose your job?" " No..no Madam just come down and talk with Sir." She didn't want to do babysitting of Varun but there was not much option. She took deep breath and said " Okay I am coming." She changed her dress to look decent and went towards lift. She started lift. That atmosphere of night was so strange she began to feel scared even of voice in lift. She was so confused. She came down and started searching for watchman. He was not there. She began to search more and more carefully. She began to get restless. When she suddenly sensed that something was thrown towards her. She screamed loudly like mad person to throw away that thing went away and she looked at floor. It was rose. Nothing but beautiful rose. Varun was laughing on her. It was too much. He managed to make joke of her. Soon she started to sense that many people were standing in shadow. All of them were laughing on her. She wanted to cry but she didn't. She knew how to pretend. She laughed loudly. She was so hurt. Stupid person like Varun managed to joke on her. It was so upsetting. She was losing her mind day by day and it was proved by this incidence. She didn't understand how could anyone fool her. She smiled then Varun presented cake of their marriage anniversary. She was so upset. She didn't care for their marriage anniversary. She didn't care even for their marriage. Then she noticed beautiful wooden model of house. She understood now why did Varun kept cutting wood. He wanted to create that model. But she didn't want that model. In fact she didn't want even real house from him now. She just wanted to get divorce from him. He kept cutting cake and she kept smiling. She kept showing off as if everything was perfect. She didn't let anyone sense. She was so upset. She just wanted to get rid of Varun. She needed to hurry up. She decided that she must talk with her parents. She must convince them to help her. After all she married to just help them. She knew that truthfully she did for herself. She wanted money and she didn't want to be poor but now she wanted to get out of that marriage. She knew that she needed to talk to her parents about it. She kept smiling but in her heart she was planning all. She wanted to get divorce or she would just murder him. She didn't want to stay with him. She was so unhappy. She didn't want to see his face. She was so scared. She didn't understand why but then she sensed that Varun was watching her. She began to sense that his eyes were following her. She never saw him this way. She knew that something was different inside him. She shivered with fear. She didn't understand why did she felt so scared. Then she began to sense that something evil was inside him. She was so upset. She knew that he was not stupid. He did all with plan. She didn't return his smile. She just kept watching him with full attention. Her eyes were following her. She knew that he was planning something against her and he was planning to catch her in her wrong moment. It was so scary. She didn't understand which action but she knew that he was watching her with just that purpose only. He was planning to catch her. She shivered and prayed that she would manage to escape his eyes. Then she sensed that he might be saving some wood to burn her alive like they burnt witch after tying her to wood. She knew that it couldn't be done in this modern time. But still she was not sure. It was so wrong and strange. She began to shiver with fear. She didn't understand what was wrong with that man but she didn't want to stay with him. During entire event she kept smiling and he kept watching her. He was acting like someone who was planning to murder her for long time. She knew that he was planning revenge. He was planning to kill her and she must catch him redhanded otherwise no one would believe her. She began to feel upset at this thought. She soon sensed that Varun was observing each gesture of her face. She kept smiling but in her heart she was planning everything against him. Once she proved his evil. She would get her freedom back. She needed it. She once again gave Varun sweet smile while keeping her fear and anger locked inside her heart.
Varun began to sense something was wrong with Meena. He kept telling himself that she loved him. But he began to doubt it when she didn't say ' yes' to him when he proposed. He tried to convince himself that she loved him. Actually he liked her so much. And he didn't want to keep searching for girls. He was so tired. He decided to date Meena. He felt that it was perfect for him. But she was not so sure. He began to get restless when she asked for time. He wanted to know why but he waited. Then she said okay. He felt that it was normal fear of commitment. But then after sometime she said yes. He was happy but today he sensed that something was totally wrong with her. She still didn't seem in love with her. In fact after marriage her love began to vanish day by day. She kept avoiding him. He started to sense that she disliked him. He kept thinking but now he wanted to move ahead in life. He kept hoping that he would get child one day. But today he wanted to discuss it clearly but when he started to sense that she was not ready even to appreciate his surprise party. She was so upset. He didn't understand what was wrong with her. She was smiling but she was so angry. She was hurt. She kept feeling upset about all. She was so against him. People didn't understand but he could sense it. He decided to talk with her. He went near her and asked " What happened?" She gave him emotionless look and said " Nothing." He felt little scared. But he waited for long time. He knew that he was not rich but he was not so poor that he couldn't afford a child. He wanted answer now. He came near her and started to discuss. " This is our marriage anniversary so you can see how many years we have spend together." He felt so confused and upset. She was looking at him with such anger. She wanted to get rid of him. But she never thought that she could say it. On that point she was so upset. She didn't want to wait for her parents. She didn't want to wait for divorce. She just wanted to punish him for this suggestion. He was so shocked when she took knife offered for cake cutting and started threatening him. She began to say " Your Dad forced me to marry now you want kid. I will just kill you." He was so confused. He never thought this way. He didn't know even about money. That knife luckily missed his chest but it managed to cut him on his hand. He was bleeding so much. He didn't understand why she did this to him. Society called Police. She was taken in custody. After hitting him she came to her senses. She did this for first time. She never sensed that she was losing her mind. She started crying loudly. She knew that she managed to destroyed her life. They were taking her in Police station. One thing was clear that they would take her in mental hospital. She was feeling so sad. She kept screaming " I am sorry but I don't love you." Varun was so upset. He was taken to hospital. His parents were called. Her parents were called too. Finally he asked them " Did you force this marriage on her?" They nodded. " Why?" "Because we wanted money for retirement." He wanted to curse them. But his friend stopped him. His friend " Don't worry. We can get divorce." He said it easily but Varun knew that it was not that easy but he didn't have much options. Her parents said with sad faces " We never thought that it would turn so bad way." Varun felt that they were just showing off. They didn't felt so sad. Varun wanted to scream on them. But one neighbour hold his hand and said " Son don't do mistake your wife did. Just ignore them. You must visit counselor for few days. You can move ahead and start over again." Varun nodded. He didn't sense reduction in anger but he controlled himself since he had seen Meena and he didn't want to be like her. He decided to tell her parents to go away. He didn't do it himself. He told his neighbour to do it. Then he went to sleep. He didn't get sleep properly now. It was no longer that pleasant dream but it was one nightmare. He lost his hope but still he needed to live his life. Sometimes he desired to kill himself. But then he decided against it. He knew number of failed suicide and people handicapped due to them. He didn't want to be one of them. He waited patiently for psychiatrist. When psychiatrist entered he told all. Psychiatrist " So your fear of finding worst lead you to accept worst." " What?" " You know very well she didn't love you but you felt you get worst so you accepted her which was worst mistake of your life." Varun nodded and suddenly all began to seem simple to him. He sensed that instead of quitting he needed to fight in life. He needed to work hard to get what desired. Suddenly he began to feel so happy. He began to sense that he could still find sunshine in life so he laughed at this thought. He went ahead happily even on that worst day. He knew that he just needed to try more and now he would do it.
The End
No comments:
Post a Comment