Burden of mind
Raju took out his books. He had large collection of them. He used to love this room. He used to sit inside it for hours with his grandfather. His grandmother used to bring tea and hot cocoa. He still remembered as if it was yesterday. He used to get angry. He used to scream on Grandmother " Grandma!! I want to drink tea!!" " No. You are small boy and small boys supposed to drink milk not tea." It was his grandmother's opinion that kids should not drink tea. But that time he was elder in his view. He used to feel that since he could read any book so he was adult. But it never came in his mind that he was just reading English not understanding it. He felt so frustrated at being called kid. He used to think that he was grown up person on that point. He was so small but in his eyes he was so big. " Come on I am not small. I am big boy." " Yes!! Big boy of 6 th std." " Stop it Grandma I am a big boy. I am grown up." Grandfather " Come on give him tea." Then Grandma used to smile. " Fine first finish this milk then drink tea." He used to get so angry. But then he used to nod and drank that Cocoa. But after tasting that Cocoa every time his desire for tea use to reduce. His Grandma was so special. Her love was so great that it always managed to turn everything in good way. He used to think in positive way. He still remembered her cocoa. He never liked anything more. It seemed so much better than all those five star dinners and lunches. On that time he used to admiration in his grandparent's eyes about him. On each sip he used to get admired and now on each taste he received either jealousy or hatred towards him. It was so frustrating. He no longer had those friends who used to care for him. In fact he didn't ever manage to get such good friends. He was getting success step by step but on each point he received just criticism. It was so frustrating. He always hated parties since they were just source of abusing to him. They kept criticizing and he kept smiling. It was so wrong. He never understood why did he needed to smile on every criticism. But he had to. He was taught to act that way this was right manners to him. He needed to respect elder. He needed to give affection to younger. He didn't understand from whom did he supposed to get respect and affection? He felt so lonely on those gatherings. Few times he used to read books. But soon he sensed people took it in wrong way. He was even taunted for it. He considered odd man. But he never understood what was wrong in reading book. His parents always insisted in keeping good manners so he obeyed them. He did his best. But today when he came to his grandparent's house,he remembered every thing. He felt strange sorrow from soul. He knew that he needed to clean all. He needed to give away those books since he didn't have place for them and they were too old. He could see that no one able to make them good again. Their pages were yellow and many were damaged due to weather. He couldn't correct it. He wished only if his Dad had same respect for books as he and his grandfather had. Any way what was lost couldn't be gain again. He started arranging them. Then he started to find store which took old newspapers and books. He felt so sad. But he didn't have option. After all he didn't own that house. His Grandparent used to live in rental house and his Dad purchased big house. His Dad did great career on financial level a lot better than his grandfather and his Dad knew it very well. He always kept reminding it to his grandfather. But on other side his grand parents lived happily married life while his parents hardly had time to see each other's face. They both were busy in their respective careers. It was not as if they didn't love each other. They loved each other fully. They kept calling each other meeting each other on every holiday. On every call they showed off their love so it was clear no one else was in their life except they didn't have time for each other. He spent his all time under hands of disciplined nanny who always made one thing sure that he should behave well before every guest. When he did it, he was suitably rewarded and when he didn't he was emotionally blackmailed with lectures like how did his parents did everything for him but he didn't value it. How sad his Mom was regarding his misbehavior. How could it effect his future. He felt so sad So he remained good boy before every elder and as soon as they went away he started throwing tantrums on Nannies. It was nice childhood but without interference of parents. Actually he didn't mind it since he hardly missed them. Their servants easily managed to replace parents but when he grew up and those servants went back to village after retiring. He felt first time empty place in soul. Servants went away happily so it was clear that they didn't miss him so much. They had their families and they were happy to go back to them so he had to say bye with smile after all he was truly grown up man by then.
Raju started looking at those books. They were no longer books of his childhood and his kids were not interested in them. Infact they were so busy in their life that he felt sometimes he didn't exist for them. It was sad but true that they hardly seemed to care for him. He didn't behaved like his parents. He kept few hours for kids. At beginning kids used to play with him. But they lost interest in it very soon. For them Dad was not that much necessary thing. They could easily ignore Dad. So he gave time to his kids but he was not wanted. Of course he couldn't forget his wife. She was too busy. He felt so upset. He decided that instead of waiting for purchaser of old newspapers he should take walk. That man could call him. He began to take walk when he noticed someone who looked exactly like his wife Disha. He was confused since Disha was laughing freely. He never saw her like that. He noticed another man was with her. He felt so angry. He assumed that she was cheating him. Then suddenly a woman appeared out of nowhere. She went near that man and took hold of his hand. It became clear that she was his wife so it was not cheating. But still he felt cheated. Disha was looking so beautiful and pleasant. He never saw her this way. He decided to spent entire life with her but he never received even one smile from her. It was so frustrating and strange. He hoped many things from her but she never gave them like her smiles, few light moments. He desired them. But he wanted to live happy life. She gave him nothing but pain in soul. He was so shocked when he noticed her laughing like that. He decided to move ahead. As soon as he came ahead her smile vanished, she began to look so sad as if she was on verge of crying. Before he could say anything, she changed her route. He sensed one thing. She didn't want to introduce him to her friends. He was so confused. He took out his mobile. He was planning to call. But then he shivered. He didn't understand what he would say if she said that she was embarrassed about him. He knew that he was not great companion. He never had any friend so expecting someone to think that he was good company seemed like crime. But he wanted at least little affection from Disha not love but affection. He didn't have much option so he went back. Disha started walking away as fast as possible. She shivered with fear. She didn't want anyone to see her with Raju. She married to Raju but she never went out with him except on their honeymoon. It was not optional. She was wandering now with Pratap. A man whom she could have married but he was not rich enough. He didn't got position and most importantly he was not much educated. Her parents desired man who was educated. She didn't understand how did stupid person like Raju managed to get such good degrees. Sometimes she felt that they might be purchased with money? Or Raju lied. He was so stupid from beginning. She was so scared at beginning that his Boss might throw him away from job. She personally hated to see his face every day. She didn't want to stay with him but she didn't have much option so she tolerated him during honeymoon. But after it she took job. She was so happy when Pratap decided to marry her friend. It was perfect arrangement. This way she could meet him and didn't need to marry him. She liked this arrangement fully. She didn't desire physical demands from Pratap she just wanted friendship and when her friend Tanvi entered in picture it became perfect. Now she could go anywhere with him. When she started running ahead. She totally forgot she was dragging Pratap with her when she went away from Raju. Tanvi literally ran after them. Tanvi " Are you planning to actually steal my husband like some lipstick?" Pratap started laughing. Disha joined him but she was truly embarrassed. She never sensed when she started dragging Pratap. Tanvi " Who was that man?" " Which man?" Pratap " That man from whom you were running away? Calling him man is really insult to manhood. He was some cartoon." Then they started laughing. Disha joined them too. Disha also felt same thing. She married this cartoon just for money. She didn't want to introduce anyone to him. Disha " Come on hurry up. We are getting late." They all agreed and started going to restaurant as soon as possible Disha soon managed to forget Raju.Raju was so upset. His marriage was nothing but disaster. He always kept telling himself that she was shy one. His every family member and friend was upset by her approach. He felt so sad. He remembered only benefit from his marriage. His daughter Roma. Roma used to love him once upon time. But it was thing from past. Roma no longer cared for him. She was busy too. He thought that might be just like his mother. He shivered. He didn't like that idea at all. He didn't want Roma to wander with boys. He began to call her. He called Roma who didn't took for long time. He started to get tense. It was not right. He decided that he must go and check.
Roma was doing her project. She didn't want to be distrubed. She wanted to concentrate on her work fully. She put her mobile on slient mode and started doing it. She needed to do it properly. But it was not moving as she wished for. She was going ahead too slow. She thought that she might needed more concentration. Her mind was divided in her tensions. Her health was not perfect as it use to be. But she couldn't complaint. She was eating outside food but she didn't have much option. She couldn't sit in home entire day. She needed to go for work and she needed to eat there. But she even tried avoiding outside food for few days but nothing seemed to work. She sensed that everything was turning in diseaster. She felt nothing was working as per her wish. She kept feeling sick. She decided to take medicine from Doctor. But how long she could keep taking them. It worked only on temperory basis. After few days it returned. She was so frustrated. Her college life was not as she hoped. She didn't find any fun or challenge in it. She just needed to study hard as she used to do in school. She didn't understand when her troubles would stop. She needed privacy to sort out them. Her life was not moving ahead as per her desires. It was moving ahead in wrong way. She didn't understand how could she set it on right track. She was not even getting friends. She needed to find right type of friends. But she knew her dream was never going to get fulfilled. She was going to remain stuck in that college. Many times she started to cry in memories of her school. In school at least teacher forced few girls to make friendship with her. She had one girl sat beside her. She never thought that it was forced friendship. At beginning when she joined college, she was happy to have some old friends with her. She was so pleased. But when college started nothing worked, she tried to keep friendship but those friends vanished in their own groups. Soon she sensed that she was desired by no one. She began to feel sad and pained. She didn't understand her mistake. She should have shifted to library but she didn't have desire to read books so much. It was not her hobby. She looked at kindle which kept on far corner of room. Truthfully she didn't like reading. She found it irritating. So she was in search of hobby when suddenly her door was banged, she was shocked. She opened it. Raju was standing before her. His eyes were red with anger. He asked her. " Why didn't you open your door?!!" " I opened it as soon as possible to me." " Why did you lock it on first place?!!" She was so angry. It was so irritating. He was cross examining her without cause. Roma " Because I was studying for examination and I desire some privacy." He looked around room as if he was searching for something. " What did you want Dad?" "Why didn't you pick my call?" " You called?!! My mobile was on slient mode." He didn't look satisfied. He kept looking in room. Roma was confused and irritated. Roma " What happened Dad?" "I think I left my file here." Raju was lying but he didn't found another way to check room. It was important to do it. He didn't want his daughter to become like her mother. He shivered with that thought. Roma was so confused. She was always determined about her moods. But today she didn't understand. Raju gave her limited time from childhood as a rule but now a days she didn't want it. She was grown up girl now. She felt that Raju had understood it so he was not coming in her room. She felt lots of respect towards Raju but she couldn't let him interfer every day. She was so upset. " Dad what did you want?" Raju suddenly controlled his emotions and said with smile " Sorry honey but I think I have forgotten my file in this room." Roma smiled. " Ohh search it." He nodded but he was relaxed now. He knew that no one was inside that room. Roma was very much willing to cooperate. For sometime he kept searching. But he didn't find anything. He apologized and went out. But when he went out, he decided one thing that he wouldn't suspect Roma. His daughter was innocent angel. He felt guilty and he wouldn't repeat his mistake. He went back to his office. He decided that he didn't want to clean that room that man who supposed to take away books didn't came so it was not possible.
Raju went in office. He went directly in room. He started working. Every thing was okay at beginning but then he suddenly noticed a secretary. She was talking with their manager. She was talking in special way. She always did it. When she was talking to normal staff, she was so arrogant. But when it came to Bosses, she started to act in different way. He began to hate her from heart. Woman like her managed to spoil entire world. He knew that she would teach these things to other young girls too. He saw her many times discussing them with new trainee. She always said that it was special training by her to new girls and used to give sinister laugh. He began to imagine things. He started to think that one day some woman like her would teach same thing to his daughter. He kept looking at her with anger in his soul. He hated her. Then suddenly another colleague came and went back to work. After two hours he started to get tense. He called Roma again. Roma was clearly irritated but still she answered in best manner. Then he went back to work. When his work was over he started to return back to his home. He went back to his life in normal way. But it was not normal. He just kept feeling scared on every moment regarding Roma. He kept getting angry. He wanted to knock on her door again and again to confirm that she was inside. He kept feeling frustrated. He knew that she hated spying on her. But now he began to get suspicious. He suddenly got one idea. He got money. He could always find a detective who could do this work for him. He began to search for detective on internet. He started finding big list. He didn't understand which one would be perfect. He never dealed with anything related to cops. He didn't know how did he supposed to investigate. He was so tense. He started looking and people's comments. Soon he began to investigate more in details then he finally found one detective. He called him and took appointment. He smiled happily. He got appointment of next week. During that entire week he kept searching ways to call Roma. He couldn't take his eyes away from that secretary. He began to hate her more and more. In his dream he even started killing her. Finally that day came when he supposed to go to detective. He went there. Detective was normal man who heard him properly. He gave friendly smile and said "This is common people. Parents get tense about kids. I have handled many such a cases. Some kids have addiction, some have affairs. One kid was planning to kill own parents and ran away to abroad when we caught that kid red handed!! Such shameless generation." After hearing this Raju started to get more and more angry. But that detective smiled and said " But in most cases kids are nice and perfect parents get tense without cause." Raju didn't feel relaxed at all. Raju " This is picture of Roma, my daughter." He looked at picture. Raju didn't like the way he was looking towards picture of his daughter. He wanted to take it back. He suddenly took it. Detective looked shocked. " What happened?" "Nothing." Then Raju took deep breath and said " I just want to confirm it's right picture." Detective gave sad smile. " Come on let me tell the whole truth!! I can sense it." Raju took deep breath and said " Actually I have located my wife with her friends." Detective" Then you feel she is having affair?!!" " I don't know and I don't care. I just want my daughter to be honest to me." Detective looked confused. " So did you saw your daughter too?" "No..no she is blameless like angel." " Then why did you want to investigate her?" " I don't know but I keep spying on her. I felt surely that she was cheating me. But then I might be totally wrong." Detective suddenly lost interest in that photo. He went away towards window. He looked out and while avoiding his eyes he said " Can I suggest something to you?" Raju nodded. He gave him a card and said " Go to this psychiatrist and you will find relief I will help you with your divorce case..she will soon start affair." Raju was so angry. He took away photo and went away. Then he went to next detective who went ahead with case and took big fees for it. Then he went back home. He began to act normal but he always kept getting irritated by that secretary. He noticed her with different boys every day. His anger started rising day by day. He never sensed that he was observing her every day. When he returned home, he began to observe Roma like hawk. This continued for long time. But finally one day he was called in cabin of manager. When he entered, he saw that in corner secretary was standing. She was giving him angry look but he looked at him with such anger that she didn't dare to compete him. Finally Manager spoke " Raju why you keep observing her every day?" " Because this whore keep every day finding new boy and keep teaching it to other girls." Secretary was so shocked. She looked at Manager for help but he was laughing slowly. She went out and came back with resignation. Raju never saw her again even near by that office. He was not blamed but admired for his attitude and it started to increase step by step. Slowly he also began to taunt on women staff's clothes in office. No one stopped him. They kept laughing. He was appreciated indirectly and he started to get more and more confident that he was right.
Raju waited for long time. But detective didn't give any results. He began to scream on him. Then he changed detective but it gave same result. His frustration started increasing. One day daughter of his Boss came in office. She was wearing mini skirt. She was holding hands of many men. He began to hate her. He started looking at her with same anger. He was about to say something when manager called him in cabin. Manager clearly looked angry. Manager " Why you are looking like that towards Madam?" Raju " Look at her dress.." Manager screamed on him in anger. " Stop it Raju!! We have tolerated enough of your nonsense. I keep getting complaints but I ignored because you are nice man and I don't want to see you as jobless but if you are dedicated to become jobless then I can't help it." Raju was shocked. He never expected this from Boss until now Boss always laughed on his comments in supporting way. Manager " When you taunt juniors it was different thing. You were showing them their place which is under our thumb but this woman is daughter of our Boss. Don't you have enough sense that she is going to be your Boss?!!" Raju was confused. He did all with full faith that he was doing big work for humanity. He never planned to control someone. He began to see himself as some dictator or person who wanted harass other people since they were in lower position. He remembered crying face of that secretary whom he taunted first time. He was so sad. It looked so wrong. He began to feel so confuse. Manager " I am giving you half day just go home. I don't want to see your face until you don't learn to give respect to all women." Raju nodded and vanished. He was so depressed. He suddenly remembered that detective who had given him card of psychiatrist. He decided that he needed to meet him. He went there without appointment. He needed to wait outside. Then finally he saw his client came out. It was an elderly couple which was crying. When he came in, detective looked confused. It was clear that he managed to forget him. Raju needed to repeat all. Detective " Take this card and go to this Doctor sooner you go better it will be for you." He nodded. Raju was about to go back when he turned back and asked " Why did that couple was crying?" Detective gave him look of suspicion. " I asked because they were crying. No need to tell if it is secret." Detective smiled "It is not secret now. I can tell you. Their daughter married to a man with citizenship of abroad. He cheated her. It seemed that he is not planning to come back. He is already settled there. He is married with two kids. At beginning they thought that he is missing. They wanted to find him so came here. But it turned out to be entire fraud. Now they need to console their daughter and move ahead in life." " But they needed to take compensation?!!" "But who will pay it? He is in abroad!!" " His family should pay!" "For that they needed to do big battle in court and actually his family is not rich that boy was rich. His family hardly able to dictate him. Anyway it is their decision. But I wish only if they had come to me before marriage." Raju started laughing. Raju "No one do that." When detective didn't join, he felt confused. But he decided that he would think about it later. He first called psychiatrist. He got appointment after three days. He wanted to it to be quick. It was so hard. He kept searching Roma's room again and again in her absence. Finally she caught him twice. She asked him " What's wrong with you Dad?!!" He didn't have option. He told her all. Roma " I am glad you are visiting Doctor and in case of Mom I am with you. She hardly had time to see my face since childhood. I always felt my babysitter is my Mom." He gave sad smile. Finally he managed to visit psychiatrist. Psychiatrist heard all. " You are suffering this way due to your unhappy marriage. I don't feel your wife have any affair. She is just not in love with you. I feel you needed counseling. But when it didn't happen slowly you both started to get frustrated and this lead to your angry outburst." " But why did I hate woman who are modern?" "Because your wife is modern and she rejected you because you are not modern so your subconscious mind is taking strange sort of revenge." " Do you think I should take divorce?!!" " This is not point to decide and most importantly you can't decide it alone you need to decide it together with your wife." He smiled and nodded. Raju started listening to psychiatrist and he began to feel relaxed. He began to sense a burden was taken away from his shoulders.
The End
Raju took out his books. He had large collection of them. He used to love this room. He used to sit inside it for hours with his grandfather. His grandmother used to bring tea and hot cocoa. He still remembered as if it was yesterday. He used to get angry. He used to scream on Grandmother " Grandma!! I want to drink tea!!" " No. You are small boy and small boys supposed to drink milk not tea." It was his grandmother's opinion that kids should not drink tea. But that time he was elder in his view. He used to feel that since he could read any book so he was adult. But it never came in his mind that he was just reading English not understanding it. He felt so frustrated at being called kid. He used to think that he was grown up person on that point. He was so small but in his eyes he was so big. " Come on I am not small. I am big boy." " Yes!! Big boy of 6 th std." " Stop it Grandma I am a big boy. I am grown up." Grandfather " Come on give him tea." Then Grandma used to smile. " Fine first finish this milk then drink tea." He used to get so angry. But then he used to nod and drank that Cocoa. But after tasting that Cocoa every time his desire for tea use to reduce. His Grandma was so special. Her love was so great that it always managed to turn everything in good way. He used to think in positive way. He still remembered her cocoa. He never liked anything more. It seemed so much better than all those five star dinners and lunches. On that time he used to admiration in his grandparent's eyes about him. On each sip he used to get admired and now on each taste he received either jealousy or hatred towards him. It was so frustrating. He no longer had those friends who used to care for him. In fact he didn't ever manage to get such good friends. He was getting success step by step but on each point he received just criticism. It was so frustrating. He always hated parties since they were just source of abusing to him. They kept criticizing and he kept smiling. It was so wrong. He never understood why did he needed to smile on every criticism. But he had to. He was taught to act that way this was right manners to him. He needed to respect elder. He needed to give affection to younger. He didn't understand from whom did he supposed to get respect and affection? He felt so lonely on those gatherings. Few times he used to read books. But soon he sensed people took it in wrong way. He was even taunted for it. He considered odd man. But he never understood what was wrong in reading book. His parents always insisted in keeping good manners so he obeyed them. He did his best. But today when he came to his grandparent's house,he remembered every thing. He felt strange sorrow from soul. He knew that he needed to clean all. He needed to give away those books since he didn't have place for them and they were too old. He could see that no one able to make them good again. Their pages were yellow and many were damaged due to weather. He couldn't correct it. He wished only if his Dad had same respect for books as he and his grandfather had. Any way what was lost couldn't be gain again. He started arranging them. Then he started to find store which took old newspapers and books. He felt so sad. But he didn't have option. After all he didn't own that house. His Grandparent used to live in rental house and his Dad purchased big house. His Dad did great career on financial level a lot better than his grandfather and his Dad knew it very well. He always kept reminding it to his grandfather. But on other side his grand parents lived happily married life while his parents hardly had time to see each other's face. They both were busy in their respective careers. It was not as if they didn't love each other. They loved each other fully. They kept calling each other meeting each other on every holiday. On every call they showed off their love so it was clear no one else was in their life except they didn't have time for each other. He spent his all time under hands of disciplined nanny who always made one thing sure that he should behave well before every guest. When he did it, he was suitably rewarded and when he didn't he was emotionally blackmailed with lectures like how did his parents did everything for him but he didn't value it. How sad his Mom was regarding his misbehavior. How could it effect his future. He felt so sad So he remained good boy before every elder and as soon as they went away he started throwing tantrums on Nannies. It was nice childhood but without interference of parents. Actually he didn't mind it since he hardly missed them. Their servants easily managed to replace parents but when he grew up and those servants went back to village after retiring. He felt first time empty place in soul. Servants went away happily so it was clear that they didn't miss him so much. They had their families and they were happy to go back to them so he had to say bye with smile after all he was truly grown up man by then.
Raju started looking at those books. They were no longer books of his childhood and his kids were not interested in them. Infact they were so busy in their life that he felt sometimes he didn't exist for them. It was sad but true that they hardly seemed to care for him. He didn't behaved like his parents. He kept few hours for kids. At beginning kids used to play with him. But they lost interest in it very soon. For them Dad was not that much necessary thing. They could easily ignore Dad. So he gave time to his kids but he was not wanted. Of course he couldn't forget his wife. She was too busy. He felt so upset. He decided that instead of waiting for purchaser of old newspapers he should take walk. That man could call him. He began to take walk when he noticed someone who looked exactly like his wife Disha. He was confused since Disha was laughing freely. He never saw her like that. He noticed another man was with her. He felt so angry. He assumed that she was cheating him. Then suddenly a woman appeared out of nowhere. She went near that man and took hold of his hand. It became clear that she was his wife so it was not cheating. But still he felt cheated. Disha was looking so beautiful and pleasant. He never saw her this way. He decided to spent entire life with her but he never received even one smile from her. It was so frustrating and strange. He hoped many things from her but she never gave them like her smiles, few light moments. He desired them. But he wanted to live happy life. She gave him nothing but pain in soul. He was so shocked when he noticed her laughing like that. He decided to move ahead. As soon as he came ahead her smile vanished, she began to look so sad as if she was on verge of crying. Before he could say anything, she changed her route. He sensed one thing. She didn't want to introduce him to her friends. He was so confused. He took out his mobile. He was planning to call. But then he shivered. He didn't understand what he would say if she said that she was embarrassed about him. He knew that he was not great companion. He never had any friend so expecting someone to think that he was good company seemed like crime. But he wanted at least little affection from Disha not love but affection. He didn't have much option so he went back. Disha started walking away as fast as possible. She shivered with fear. She didn't want anyone to see her with Raju. She married to Raju but she never went out with him except on their honeymoon. It was not optional. She was wandering now with Pratap. A man whom she could have married but he was not rich enough. He didn't got position and most importantly he was not much educated. Her parents desired man who was educated. She didn't understand how did stupid person like Raju managed to get such good degrees. Sometimes she felt that they might be purchased with money? Or Raju lied. He was so stupid from beginning. She was so scared at beginning that his Boss might throw him away from job. She personally hated to see his face every day. She didn't want to stay with him but she didn't have much option so she tolerated him during honeymoon. But after it she took job. She was so happy when Pratap decided to marry her friend. It was perfect arrangement. This way she could meet him and didn't need to marry him. She liked this arrangement fully. She didn't desire physical demands from Pratap she just wanted friendship and when her friend Tanvi entered in picture it became perfect. Now she could go anywhere with him. When she started running ahead. She totally forgot she was dragging Pratap with her when she went away from Raju. Tanvi literally ran after them. Tanvi " Are you planning to actually steal my husband like some lipstick?" Pratap started laughing. Disha joined him but she was truly embarrassed. She never sensed when she started dragging Pratap. Tanvi " Who was that man?" " Which man?" Pratap " That man from whom you were running away? Calling him man is really insult to manhood. He was some cartoon." Then they started laughing. Disha joined them too. Disha also felt same thing. She married this cartoon just for money. She didn't want to introduce anyone to him. Disha " Come on hurry up. We are getting late." They all agreed and started going to restaurant as soon as possible Disha soon managed to forget Raju.Raju was so upset. His marriage was nothing but disaster. He always kept telling himself that she was shy one. His every family member and friend was upset by her approach. He felt so sad. He remembered only benefit from his marriage. His daughter Roma. Roma used to love him once upon time. But it was thing from past. Roma no longer cared for him. She was busy too. He thought that might be just like his mother. He shivered. He didn't like that idea at all. He didn't want Roma to wander with boys. He began to call her. He called Roma who didn't took for long time. He started to get tense. It was not right. He decided that he must go and check.
Roma was doing her project. She didn't want to be distrubed. She wanted to concentrate on her work fully. She put her mobile on slient mode and started doing it. She needed to do it properly. But it was not moving as she wished for. She was going ahead too slow. She thought that she might needed more concentration. Her mind was divided in her tensions. Her health was not perfect as it use to be. But she couldn't complaint. She was eating outside food but she didn't have much option. She couldn't sit in home entire day. She needed to go for work and she needed to eat there. But she even tried avoiding outside food for few days but nothing seemed to work. She sensed that everything was turning in diseaster. She felt nothing was working as per her wish. She kept feeling sick. She decided to take medicine from Doctor. But how long she could keep taking them. It worked only on temperory basis. After few days it returned. She was so frustrated. Her college life was not as she hoped. She didn't find any fun or challenge in it. She just needed to study hard as she used to do in school. She didn't understand when her troubles would stop. She needed privacy to sort out them. Her life was not moving ahead as per her desires. It was moving ahead in wrong way. She didn't understand how could she set it on right track. She was not even getting friends. She needed to find right type of friends. But she knew her dream was never going to get fulfilled. She was going to remain stuck in that college. Many times she started to cry in memories of her school. In school at least teacher forced few girls to make friendship with her. She had one girl sat beside her. She never thought that it was forced friendship. At beginning when she joined college, she was happy to have some old friends with her. She was so pleased. But when college started nothing worked, she tried to keep friendship but those friends vanished in their own groups. Soon she sensed that she was desired by no one. She began to feel sad and pained. She didn't understand her mistake. She should have shifted to library but she didn't have desire to read books so much. It was not her hobby. She looked at kindle which kept on far corner of room. Truthfully she didn't like reading. She found it irritating. So she was in search of hobby when suddenly her door was banged, she was shocked. She opened it. Raju was standing before her. His eyes were red with anger. He asked her. " Why didn't you open your door?!!" " I opened it as soon as possible to me." " Why did you lock it on first place?!!" She was so angry. It was so irritating. He was cross examining her without cause. Roma " Because I was studying for examination and I desire some privacy." He looked around room as if he was searching for something. " What did you want Dad?" "Why didn't you pick my call?" " You called?!! My mobile was on slient mode." He didn't look satisfied. He kept looking in room. Roma was confused and irritated. Roma " What happened Dad?" "I think I left my file here." Raju was lying but he didn't found another way to check room. It was important to do it. He didn't want his daughter to become like her mother. He shivered with that thought. Roma was so confused. She was always determined about her moods. But today she didn't understand. Raju gave her limited time from childhood as a rule but now a days she didn't want it. She was grown up girl now. She felt that Raju had understood it so he was not coming in her room. She felt lots of respect towards Raju but she couldn't let him interfer every day. She was so upset. " Dad what did you want?" Raju suddenly controlled his emotions and said with smile " Sorry honey but I think I have forgotten my file in this room." Roma smiled. " Ohh search it." He nodded but he was relaxed now. He knew that no one was inside that room. Roma was very much willing to cooperate. For sometime he kept searching. But he didn't find anything. He apologized and went out. But when he went out, he decided one thing that he wouldn't suspect Roma. His daughter was innocent angel. He felt guilty and he wouldn't repeat his mistake. He went back to his office. He decided that he didn't want to clean that room that man who supposed to take away books didn't came so it was not possible.
Raju went in office. He went directly in room. He started working. Every thing was okay at beginning but then he suddenly noticed a secretary. She was talking with their manager. She was talking in special way. She always did it. When she was talking to normal staff, she was so arrogant. But when it came to Bosses, she started to act in different way. He began to hate her from heart. Woman like her managed to spoil entire world. He knew that she would teach these things to other young girls too. He saw her many times discussing them with new trainee. She always said that it was special training by her to new girls and used to give sinister laugh. He began to imagine things. He started to think that one day some woman like her would teach same thing to his daughter. He kept looking at her with anger in his soul. He hated her. Then suddenly another colleague came and went back to work. After two hours he started to get tense. He called Roma again. Roma was clearly irritated but still she answered in best manner. Then he went back to work. When his work was over he started to return back to his home. He went back to his life in normal way. But it was not normal. He just kept feeling scared on every moment regarding Roma. He kept getting angry. He wanted to knock on her door again and again to confirm that she was inside. He kept feeling frustrated. He knew that she hated spying on her. But now he began to get suspicious. He suddenly got one idea. He got money. He could always find a detective who could do this work for him. He began to search for detective on internet. He started finding big list. He didn't understand which one would be perfect. He never dealed with anything related to cops. He didn't know how did he supposed to investigate. He was so tense. He started looking and people's comments. Soon he began to investigate more in details then he finally found one detective. He called him and took appointment. He smiled happily. He got appointment of next week. During that entire week he kept searching ways to call Roma. He couldn't take his eyes away from that secretary. He began to hate her more and more. In his dream he even started killing her. Finally that day came when he supposed to go to detective. He went there. Detective was normal man who heard him properly. He gave friendly smile and said "This is common people. Parents get tense about kids. I have handled many such a cases. Some kids have addiction, some have affairs. One kid was planning to kill own parents and ran away to abroad when we caught that kid red handed!! Such shameless generation." After hearing this Raju started to get more and more angry. But that detective smiled and said " But in most cases kids are nice and perfect parents get tense without cause." Raju didn't feel relaxed at all. Raju " This is picture of Roma, my daughter." He looked at picture. Raju didn't like the way he was looking towards picture of his daughter. He wanted to take it back. He suddenly took it. Detective looked shocked. " What happened?" "Nothing." Then Raju took deep breath and said " I just want to confirm it's right picture." Detective gave sad smile. " Come on let me tell the whole truth!! I can sense it." Raju took deep breath and said " Actually I have located my wife with her friends." Detective" Then you feel she is having affair?!!" " I don't know and I don't care. I just want my daughter to be honest to me." Detective looked confused. " So did you saw your daughter too?" "No..no she is blameless like angel." " Then why did you want to investigate her?" " I don't know but I keep spying on her. I felt surely that she was cheating me. But then I might be totally wrong." Detective suddenly lost interest in that photo. He went away towards window. He looked out and while avoiding his eyes he said " Can I suggest something to you?" Raju nodded. He gave him a card and said " Go to this psychiatrist and you will find relief I will help you with your divorce case..she will soon start affair." Raju was so angry. He took away photo and went away. Then he went to next detective who went ahead with case and took big fees for it. Then he went back home. He began to act normal but he always kept getting irritated by that secretary. He noticed her with different boys every day. His anger started rising day by day. He never sensed that he was observing her every day. When he returned home, he began to observe Roma like hawk. This continued for long time. But finally one day he was called in cabin of manager. When he entered, he saw that in corner secretary was standing. She was giving him angry look but he looked at him with such anger that she didn't dare to compete him. Finally Manager spoke " Raju why you keep observing her every day?" " Because this whore keep every day finding new boy and keep teaching it to other girls." Secretary was so shocked. She looked at Manager for help but he was laughing slowly. She went out and came back with resignation. Raju never saw her again even near by that office. He was not blamed but admired for his attitude and it started to increase step by step. Slowly he also began to taunt on women staff's clothes in office. No one stopped him. They kept laughing. He was appreciated indirectly and he started to get more and more confident that he was right.
Raju waited for long time. But detective didn't give any results. He began to scream on him. Then he changed detective but it gave same result. His frustration started increasing. One day daughter of his Boss came in office. She was wearing mini skirt. She was holding hands of many men. He began to hate her. He started looking at her with same anger. He was about to say something when manager called him in cabin. Manager clearly looked angry. Manager " Why you are looking like that towards Madam?" Raju " Look at her dress.." Manager screamed on him in anger. " Stop it Raju!! We have tolerated enough of your nonsense. I keep getting complaints but I ignored because you are nice man and I don't want to see you as jobless but if you are dedicated to become jobless then I can't help it." Raju was shocked. He never expected this from Boss until now Boss always laughed on his comments in supporting way. Manager " When you taunt juniors it was different thing. You were showing them their place which is under our thumb but this woman is daughter of our Boss. Don't you have enough sense that she is going to be your Boss?!!" Raju was confused. He did all with full faith that he was doing big work for humanity. He never planned to control someone. He began to see himself as some dictator or person who wanted harass other people since they were in lower position. He remembered crying face of that secretary whom he taunted first time. He was so sad. It looked so wrong. He began to feel so confuse. Manager " I am giving you half day just go home. I don't want to see your face until you don't learn to give respect to all women." Raju nodded and vanished. He was so depressed. He suddenly remembered that detective who had given him card of psychiatrist. He decided that he needed to meet him. He went there without appointment. He needed to wait outside. Then finally he saw his client came out. It was an elderly couple which was crying. When he came in, detective looked confused. It was clear that he managed to forget him. Raju needed to repeat all. Detective " Take this card and go to this Doctor sooner you go better it will be for you." He nodded. Raju was about to go back when he turned back and asked " Why did that couple was crying?" Detective gave him look of suspicion. " I asked because they were crying. No need to tell if it is secret." Detective smiled "It is not secret now. I can tell you. Their daughter married to a man with citizenship of abroad. He cheated her. It seemed that he is not planning to come back. He is already settled there. He is married with two kids. At beginning they thought that he is missing. They wanted to find him so came here. But it turned out to be entire fraud. Now they need to console their daughter and move ahead in life." " But they needed to take compensation?!!" "But who will pay it? He is in abroad!!" " His family should pay!" "For that they needed to do big battle in court and actually his family is not rich that boy was rich. His family hardly able to dictate him. Anyway it is their decision. But I wish only if they had come to me before marriage." Raju started laughing. Raju "No one do that." When detective didn't join, he felt confused. But he decided that he would think about it later. He first called psychiatrist. He got appointment after three days. He wanted to it to be quick. It was so hard. He kept searching Roma's room again and again in her absence. Finally she caught him twice. She asked him " What's wrong with you Dad?!!" He didn't have option. He told her all. Roma " I am glad you are visiting Doctor and in case of Mom I am with you. She hardly had time to see my face since childhood. I always felt my babysitter is my Mom." He gave sad smile. Finally he managed to visit psychiatrist. Psychiatrist heard all. " You are suffering this way due to your unhappy marriage. I don't feel your wife have any affair. She is just not in love with you. I feel you needed counseling. But when it didn't happen slowly you both started to get frustrated and this lead to your angry outburst." " But why did I hate woman who are modern?" "Because your wife is modern and she rejected you because you are not modern so your subconscious mind is taking strange sort of revenge." " Do you think I should take divorce?!!" " This is not point to decide and most importantly you can't decide it alone you need to decide it together with your wife." He smiled and nodded. Raju started listening to psychiatrist and he began to feel relaxed. He began to sense a burden was taken away from his shoulders.
The End
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