Shivering in warm
Harish began to move ahead with hope. He began to think positively. Until now everything went in perfect way. He was feeling so happy about everything but today he began to think what if his Boss demanded something different. He knew that his new Boss had different demands. He started to look around. He was so happy. He painted it just the way his old Boss wanted. He looked towards his office. It was so perfect. He truly looked it. It had wonderful designs in it. On every wall he did what his best. He was not sure that his Boss would admire it. This one was new. He kept doing his best. He was arranging all so much that his juniors started laughing on him. It was stressful for them. They needed proper arrangements. They wanted to make their house perfect. On every wall they got wonderful design. It was so important. He sat in chair. He looked around. He sensed that atmosphere was perfect. He suddenly sensed that they needed air freshener. He was so upset . He could sense that he didn’t done all properly. He done all which was perfect for his ex Boss. He used air freshener. His old Boss used to feel so happy by it. His Old Boss used to love that type of interior. But he was not so sure about his new Boss. But he did his best. Soon remaining colleagues started to come. They all admired it. He was not actually superior but his salary was more & his old Boss always treated him with great respect. They all considered him a superior. He began to arrange different design on wall. He needed to arrange them. He did all & waited. Suddenly he sensed that he needed to go outside & wait for car of his Boss. He was waiting with anxiety. He needed to behave his best. He knew that he was doing everything in perfect way. He stood on one corner while waiting for his Boss. He began to think what he supposed to tell his Boss. He started count different points which he needed to tell Boss. He heard so many positive things about his Boss. He heard that his Boss came out of lower background. His Boss managed to capture all crisis. Harish was so confused. He needed to impress him. His Boss was not less than some miracle to all. He adjusted his dress properly. Then he waited on corner. Finally car came. He was expecting some driver but his Boss was not just with driver. His Boss had few people who supposed to guide him. Harish felt so confused. Harish nodded with respect. Harish started to feel so stressed. Harish began to think in different way about life. He wanted to feel positive. He began to get upset. He smiled but his Boss gave him negative look. Then his Boss said “ I am Tanuj. You know me, don’t you?” He nodded. Then Tanuj smiled in a way which told him that he was sure less in eyes of Tanuj. Tanuj felt so restless. Tanuj gave negative look. “ So you are Harish. I know you. I saw your picture in paper. You are son of that famous actress aren’t you?” Harish nodded. He knew that his Mom was famous. He always tried to avoid her impact. His Mom had negative effect on him. His Mom never treated him like nice child. His Mom taunted him on every step & it was upsetting. He needed to have positive attitude towards life. He wanted to think in hopeful way. But he was stuck in negative thinking which developed by him Mom. It was important for him to admire his Mom. He needed her appreciation. After all she was important for him. She was famous. After first day of his life every one told him that she was most precious to him. He was nothing but her son. It was so upsetting. He kept trying his best to get out of her influence. But he couldn’t deny from going to party. He needed to go to it. His photo appeared on every newspaper. Every one saw it. He was so frustrated when he sensed that once again he was nothing except son of his Mom. It was so frustrating. He started to think positively about all. Harish smiled & said “ Actually it was just due my Mom. It was nothing connected to me.” Tanuj smiled towards him meaningfully. “ I know you are star kid! Famous person! But you need to learn things.” Harish gave him nervous look. Suddenly Harish started to get upset. Harish wanted to feel happy. He began to sense that once again he was getting upset. There was one nervousness in his stomach. It started to get uneasy. He began to feel breathless. He wanted to feel positive but he was feeling entirely negative. It was clearly upsetting. He kept telling himself that Tanuj was just joking. But soon few of his executives came towards him. They told him to type few documents. They wanted every document to be correct. Harish nodded. Then they went in office with him. Harish began to get restless. Harish started to type. He was very careful. He kept watching towards every word. He was reading them carefully. He began to study all carefully. When he confirmed everything was fine, he came out. By this time remaining staff was already there. He was listening to all words they discussed. They were admiring Tanuj. Clearly Tanuj was great Boss for them. Tanuj was doing great job. Harish smiled. Harish felt that Tanuj would appreciate him too. Harish came inside. Immediately Tanuj gave him angry look. Harish asked “ Sir what happened?” “ What? Are you unsound? Some people grow up but their brain never grow.” He began to feel so nervous. Tanuj threw one document before him. “ Count how many spelling mistakes you have made.” He felt so nervous. He did what he was ordered. It was truly depressing. “ Sorry sir. This time I was careful!” “ So you are suggesting that your last Boss made you careless?!” He began to feel nervous. He started to sense that he began to move towards wrong direction. “ I mean I am extra careful.” Harish began to feel so tense. His hand was shaking. He was scared that Tanuj might comment on it too. He began to feel so frustrated. He started to get restless. But Tanuj didn’t say anything. Tanuj checked that document & studied. Then finally Tanuj said “ Okay. You may go.” Harish thanked him & immediately ran out of room. He began to feel so upset. He ran in washroom. He literally cried uncontrollably for sometime.
Tanuj was so upset. He didn’t like Harish at all. He felt that Harish got all without efforts. Harish was spoiled child in his view. He hated Harish at first sight. Then he observed that Harish was getting better salary than others. He felt so upset. He didn’t notice any special skill in Harish. He felt that Harish was just useless person. He needed someone better than Harish. He didn’t want any celebrity kid like him. He began to think about excuses about Harish. He began to search. Soon he found few people who were new with less salary. He began to think that with them he could manage company. But he couldn’t remove Harish like that! It was not about Harish. He didn’t understand what was going on in his mind. Tanuj gave angry look towards Harish’s biodata. Tanuj called Rucha. Rucha was his girl friend. They were not planning to make it known publicly since they were not planning to marry. Actually he was not planning to marry her. He paid her enough to make her life luxurious & she was in love with him so she didn’t want to leave him. He knew that they were going to remain hidden forever. This was comfortable arrangement for him. He was so frustrated. He knew that Rucha would entertain him. He called her. Rucha immediately agreed to meet him at dinner. He smiled happily. He was so happy to have his perfect life. He went out of office. Before going out he said to one person “ I was observing Harish is getting extra salary.. I don’t want to say anything but still it seem wrong so I can’t just ignore.” Suddenly many other members of staff joined. They all wanted increase in salary. They liked Harish but they wanted more salary & more prestige. Tanuj began to criticise Harish. Soon they all started supporting. They didn’t want Harish as Boss any more. Harish came out. Harish started talking with them. But he began to sense that no one wanted him. It was complicated. He was working happily until now. He began to feel suddenly people began to reject him. He started to get restless. He wanted to positive attitude. But he was all wrong. He began to feel so upset. He began to sense that they didn’t want him to join them for lunch. He always did it. He began to feel so uncomfortable. Harish slowly went towards them. But soon he sensed that no one wanted him to sit beside. He just gave weak smile. He sat in one chair. But soon he sensed that person who was sitting beside him made some excuse & shifted to other chair. He gave weak smile. He ate his lunch & went back to his chair. He decided that he would sit alone from next day. He didn’t understand what went wrong. But he didn’t like the way they rejected him. He knew that he was never admired but he never thought that he was hated so much. Finally when his work was over, he went to his house. His empty flat was peaceful heaven for him. He went in it. He sat with his books. He had big library. He kept looking towards his books. They were giving him fresh hope. He observed each book carefully. He was studying them. He needed to read those books. Those books were having different concepts in it. He was planning to get involved in those books. He began to study names of those stories. He started to decide which one he needed. He started to choose one. When he was about to start to read, his mobile rang. His Mom was calling. He disliked her so much. She earned lots of money but she was keeping it to herself. This house in which he was staying actually belong to his grandparents. After his father his Mom became owner of it. He was staying in his house for long time. It was so frustrating. He decided that he needed a place to stay. He never planned to get married. Once he tried to date a girl. He began to sense that they all wanted money from his mother. They kept talking about his mother. They were not interested in him. He couldn’t find someone suitable for him. He decided to live alone & his life was perfect for him. But he used to love his office so much. It was nice to have some friends. His salary was nice too. Today for first time in that office he felt so alone & stuck. He wanted to feel happy once again in office. But he knew that Tanuj didn’t want it. He didn’t want to talk with Mom but he didn’t have much option so he took her call. “ Yes Mom.” “ So what did that Tanuj feel about you?” He didn’t say anything. His Mom continued. Mom “ So you don’t able to impress him?” He didn’t say anything. Then his Mom started to talk. He sensed on that point. He just went in different world. He didn’t understand how could he do it so easily. He was trying so much to concentrate on his Mom’s words but he couldn’t. Finally his Mom screamed “ Are you listening to me?” “ No.. I mean yes..yes.” He began to feel upset. He needed to answer his Mom but he couldn’t. He didn’t remember anything. He just said with sorrow “ Mom I might lose my job!” His Mom laughed in strange way then she said “ I am shocked that they kept you for much long time. He felt so sad. He wanted to feel positive but all his hopes were shattered. He began to get upset by it. He started to find new excuses to get rid of this job. He was so scared. He didn’t want to go there. He began to feel so scared. He began to feel little bit cold due to weather. He hugged himself. He didn’t understand what was happening. He began to feel that he was going to have fever. He decided to check. He noticed that he didn’t have fever. He felt so strange. He was feeling so cold without cause. He started to wore Jacket. It was Jacket which was perfect for hot weather. He began to feel okay. He was so happy to wear warm clothes. He was feeling so nice in them. He knew that weather was hot. But still he was feeling so cold. He kept arranging his clothes. He sensed that something was wrong with him. But he just didn’t care. He was so lost in his world. He began to think about that Christmas card which he found once in his Mom’s closet. It was card of Christmas. It was full of snow. He began to imagine that he was stuck in that snow.
Harish was shocked when he sensed that he was sleeping on sofa. Clearly last evening he fall asleep after his Mom’s call. He didn’t remember his hours after it. It seemed as if he forgot dinner totally. He was so confused & hungry. But then he even forgot to cook or order something. He just went in kitchen & did two sandwiches of bread & cheese. They were simple & easy. He started to eat them peacefully. He knew that they would be easy & perfect for him. He began to enjoy their taste on his tongue. But then suddenly he began to feel that they were not so tasty. He started to sense that he disliked them. He began to think that he needed to eat something else. Then he looked at timing. He needed to go to office. He started to get ready. But he was not sure that he honestly wanted to. Harish decided to go in office any way. He couldn’t just leave his job. He was feeling so upset. He wanted to settle in his job. He didn’t want it now. He got ready & went in office. Today his Boss Tanuj was missing. Clearly he didn’t have enough time for this office in his busy schedule. So Harish needed to meet clients. Harish kept doing all work mechanically. Harish sensed that he wanted to feel aloof. He began to feel that it was better for him. He tried to avoid conversation as much as possible. He tried to keep it short. He worked for hours. He managed to do all. But he didn’t show any attachments to anyone. He was feeling so sad. He started to think positively. He wanted to feel happy but talking with people had started increasing his sadness. He decided to keep quiet. He was feeling so sad. But he didn’t let it effect his work. He kept working as hard as possible. But slowly Tanuj replaced him with new people. Harish was watching it. But he didn’t do anything. He just kept sitting on his chair. His chair was in corner. It was just before Air conditioner. He was feeling so cold in that place but he didn’t complaint. One day finally Tanuj called him. Tanuj said with smile “ Harish I know you done valuable work for company but I feel this is time to retire.” Harish wanted to argue but he was too exhausted. He knew that he just needed to accept it. Harish nodded. Harish signed his resignation & went home. When he reached home, he started to shiver strange way. He decided to ask help of Doctor. He called Doctor took appointment. Soon he sensed that he needed to wear clothes for warm weather. He began to search for them. Soon he found those warm clothes. He began to try them. He started to feel so uneasy in his head. Slowly after sometime he began to feel relaxed. He didn’t even feel confidence in walking. He checked temperature but it confirmed that he was not sick. He kept telling himself that he needed to relax. He was truly feeling sick. He decided to call Cab. He didn’t want his Mom to know. He was so scared but he relaxed when finally his Mom told him that she was gone out for some work. He went to Doctor. He was shivering entire time. Doctor did checking. Doctor didn’t find anything wrong except his high Blood pressure. Doctor advised to do whole body check up. He decided to admit himself in hospital. He slept on one hospital bed peacefully. He started to feel so relaxed. He was watching ceiling fan for hours. He began to feel relaxed but still he kept shivering. Then one Nurse came. She injected him. He finally fall asleep. When he woke up, he sensed that he was alone in his room. He was still feeling so cold. Then slowly he looked around, he waited. Finally Nurse came in room. He immediately asked her “ What happened to me?” Nurse smiled & said “ Don’t worry! You are perfect.” “ Then why I am feeling so cold?!” Nurse gave confused look. Nurse “ I don’t know. Doctor will tell you.” He nodded. He acted like obedient patient. He kept doing all as he told. He began to feel stressed again & again. Finally Doctor came. He immediately started all. Doctor told him peacefully “ Take it easy. I know you might not believe me. But I feel this is all mental.” Harish didn’t deny. Harish said slowly “ I am depressed since I lost my job.” Doctor wrote few medicines. “ I will give you discharge today. But you must start your Psychiatristical treatment. I will arrange appointment of next week.” Harish agreed. After taking little bit rest he started to feel little normal. That medicine was giving him little relaxation but he knew that he didn’t want to remain dependent on it. He wanted to feel normal. He went ahead entire day as hospital staff suggested. He kept moving ahead without thinking about his situation as much as possible. It was really hard not to think about it. He began to get upset. He started to feel that he was locking all. He didn’t want to this situation to remain forever. He was scared that his Mom might managed to bring it all out. He didn’t want her to do that. He was so happy when he finally reached to Psychiatrist. He talked with Psychiatrist for hours. He began to feel relaxed. Psychiatrist told him that he was suffering from depression. It happened since he always considered low by his Mom. Now his Boss Tanuj was doing same thing. Harish wanted that job but now that atmosphere was changing he couldn’t desire to keep it. But he kept feeling betrayed since he worked so hard for company. But step by step Psychiatrist told him that Tanuj needed to reduce expenses so he didn’t want to pay high salary of Harish. He disliked Harish since Harish’s Mom was celebrity. But that was problem of Tanuj not crime of Harish. Psychiatrist told him that he needed to get over that job. He was feeling cold since he managed to connect his sorrows with that card which had snow. His mind felt as if it was stuck in that snow. Actually his mind wanted to laugh in normal way. Harish nodded. Harish began to get relaxed step by step. He started to think positively about all. Harish began to even plan life after retirement. He came back home. When his Mom called, she taunted him for first time he heard every word. It was hurting him but it was also making him relax since it reduced his fear. He was no longer feeling tense. He was feeling sad but he decided to accept all. He disconnected call. Then he returned to his project. He began to do something which he liked. He was no longer concerned about what benefits he would get out of them. He just did what was essential for his happiness. He decided to live his life not for money but for his pleasure. He smiled happily & decided he wanted his happiness so he would let his Mom taunt him as much as she want since he wanted to live happily in this house. He was no longer feeling cold since he was doing what he want & he was not planning to leave it.
The End
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