Sheela was very happy in her library.She just loved books and that's why she always preferred books over every thing.Many times at school her classmates called her bookworm.But that didn't affect her.She was at that moment also engrossed in one book.But she suddenly heard one small girl was calling her.That girl was a very cute.The girl"Hallo Mam,I am new in this school."Sheela didn't want to encourage talking so she just ignore her.She always acted that way because of that children normally stayed away from her.She wanted a privacy and she respected others privacy.She never asked any one about any thing.She didn't even remembered any student by his or her name. All names were stored in computer and she could access any one's record.That small girl was started calling her again."Mam will you please help me?" After hearing this request it was impossible for Sheela to ignore it.Sheela"What do you want?"She said it very rudely.After all she didn't want to disturbed other students who were reading in the library.The girl "My name..""Please don't waste your time any time the bell will ring and your recess will be over so hurry up."That girl immediately understood the point and she gave Sheela a blank paper."Can you please write down all the names of the books suitable for me?"Sheela didn't like this request.It was not her job to find suitable books.But before she could say anything the bell rang and that girl ran away.But before going she said thanks to Sheela assuming that she was going to give her a chart of books.Sheela didn't like it.But she couldn't throw away that paper so she kept it inside the drawer.
Next day when that small girl came there.Sheela told her clearly it was not her job to find good books for her.That girl looked very hurt and disappointed.Sheela thought that chapter was closed.Sheela was very happy that the small girl finally left her alone.But as soon as she went to cabinets and started arranging the books.She heard some one calling her from behind.Sheela turned.A teacher was standing with that small girl.Sheela knew that teacher's name.But she never became friends with her actually she had never any friends.That didn't mean that she had enemies.No she didn't have enemies and she didn't want to make one now.She heard that this teacher Ragini was famous for her angry nature so she didn't want to encourage a fight with her.Ragini"Sheela,I think it is your duty to recommend books to kids.""My duty..""Of course.You are librarian.You will have to encourage reading habit among children so you have to recommend books to Sana."Sheela was shocked to hear this."Who is Sana?""This girl."and Ragini pointed towards the small girl.Sheela was shocked and Sana was looking very embarrassed.After that Ragini left the library.Sana"I am sorry mam.I just asked for names of books and mam brought me here."Sheela looked angrily at her.Sheela"I will give you list of books tomorrow."After that Sheela started doing her work again.Sana left room looking very sad.
At home Sheela began searching for book suitable for children's.After many years she first time went in to the room in which she kept her childhood books.She started looking in them.They were really lovely books.Suddenly it started bringing back her old memories.When she used to play with dolls and used to make small house for them.Her friends were her dolls.She had some special friends.But they were just four or five.Her dolls were her real friends.Human friends left you.But dolls didn't left her.They were with her all the time.She used to enjoy her fantasies with them and her selected friends who never criticized her.Sheela hated criticism.Then suddenly she started all the criticisms she heard.She no longer interested in making list of books for that girl who was nothing for her.She began to think that if that girl criticized the books she recommended.She didn't want her books to insulted.Then she remembered the face of Ragini. Ragini the angry lady was surely make complaint against her to principal if she didn't gave list to the girl and Sheela didn't want to face the principal.After thinking of these results she started making the list again.But this time she was very unhappy.
Next day Sheela gave that list to Sana.After receiving the list Sana smiled happily towards Sheela.But Sheela didn't smile and made such gesture which made it clear to Sana that she was not happy to do that work for Sana ever again.Sana was very upset by Sheela's behaviour and she left immediately.Sheela was very happy that finally Sana's chapter was over.She was very happy about it.But Sheela's dreams were shattered when next another boy reached towards her table.The cute small boy "Excuse me.Can you please give some nice book?I want a book full of adventures.""Jungle book."Sheela answered him before even thinking.That boy was very happy."Then please give it to me."Sheela was very upset now.She encouraged another child.She could easily see a long line of children before her table.But there was no turning back so she finally gave him the book.
Next day when Sheela came to school on usual time.When she was on stairs,Ragini came to her.Ragini"You have become favorite among students.There is big line of students waiting for you behind your desk."After hearing this Sheela suddenly started feeling a strange pain in her stomach.Slowly she began to feel that she couldn't move.She could imagine long line of student before her desk.She had viewed many such lines again favorite teacher's desk and always avoided such desk.Suddenly whole world around her started moving she no longer able to stand on her foot.She didn't want to fall on floor.But she couldn't stop herself from falling .Ragini was standing there watching this in a shock.Ragini supported her.Ragini"I think you shall have to drink a glass of water.You just sit here.I will bring you a glass of water."Ragini forced Sheela to sit on chair which was near the staff room.Slowly all the teacher started coming out of room to see Sheela.They all were very concern about her.But she didn't want them looking at her.She could feel a criticism in their eyes.She could feeling they were thinking that she was such a weak thing & because of her their time was wasted.She was sure they would blame her for wasting their times.She wanted to just run away. Finally she gathered some courage and started to walking.But everyone was against it.Slowly small children also started gathering around.The crowd was surrounding her.She was too scared to react.
All the teachers were concern regarding her.They all really liked her.Even students were wanted to help her.But instead of taking their help she just started walking towards her home.They were all shocked with her strange behaviour.She was never friendly with anyone.But they always considered her as part of school. When she made it clear that she just wanted to go home.Ragini decided that she would drop her.When finally Sheela reached to the home.She felt little bit relaxed.She couldn't bear with crowd.She fully understood that from now there would be always line of student and her privacy was lost.In her eyes her privacy was most important thing.She could still picture a line of students.She hated to go in that library.She was so occupied in her thoughts that she even didn't realized that Ragini was sitting opposite her.In absent mind she suddenly said loudly "May be I should quit the job?"Ragini"Why?"Sheela was shocked when she realized that Ragini was sitting on the chair.Sheela"I was just thinking....""I thought that you love books.""Of course.I love books.They are my life."Then Sheela started talking about the books she read during her life.She was very engrossed in telling about them.She didn't even realized that she was about to faint few moments ago.Ragini"Then why don't you tell all school students about them?""I can't do it.""Why?""Whenever I tried to talk to people,I hate it.I even quit all those jobs which involved to talking people because I hate getting involved in any kind of relationship.""But why?""Because I know these people are going to hate me later.""Why do they hate you?I think all students just love you.""They love me because they don't know me properly.""I don't agree with you I think when they know you properly they just love you more.""No.They hate me because my father hated me."Ragini started looking at Sheela with a shock.But Sheela just continued talking.She started telling her that when she ate her food.How clumsy she was in eye's of her father?How ugly her dresses and her looks were?How bad were her grade?She got 'A',but without 'A+'She was nothing.After listening to her Ragini was shocked.Ragini"Do you stay with your father?""Of course.He is on his way from his office."Ragini didn't want see that man's face who treated her daughter like this.But she couldn't leave Sheela like this after all Sheela needed some help.Then Ragini suddenly understood what did she suppose to do.Ragini waited for Sheela's father.When her father reached home,he started bombarding criticisms on Sheela.Ragini wanted to insult that man.But she controlled her tongue.All the time she continued admiring Sheela's father.Slowly that man was such happy with Ragini that he was even ready to cut his head for Ragini.But Ragini didn't need his head.She needed a permission to visit a psychiatrist.But it was very hard so she asked permission of taking her on picnic.
When Ragini told Sheela that she was taking her to psychiatrist,Sheela was very scared.But after long convincing she agreed to go there.When they went to psychiatrist waiting was most difficult for both of them.After going inside Sheela just kept quiet Ragini had to do the talking.But after some time Doctor forced Sheela to do the talking.Finally he told them that Sheela was suffering from Avoidant Personality Disorder.Due to continuous criticism from father.She began to think that if her own father didn't love her.How could anybody else love her.She began to think that no one liked her.Even if some body appreciated her,she just thought that it was because of pity.Slowly he started convincing her that she was worthy of many things.At first without Ragini Sheela never went to any social place.But in library she began to tolerate students.Then slowly she started going to social functions without Ragini. But today was her biggest day because she was giving a lecture about the books in the gathering.When that lecture was finished and everyone including principle started clapping.Sheela just came down from stage and gave Ragini a hug and said loudly "Friend in need is friend indeed And Ragini is my real friend.I am standing here just because of her." After that Ragini started to feel that she was going to faint because of embarrassment. But Sheela was laughing loudly and freely.
The End
No comments:
Post a Comment